KAJAMA.COM NEWSLETTER

by Bill Apablasa

There is a time for departure even when there's no certain place to go. - Tennessee Williams

Time to Hit the Road

When was the last time you just got up and left? Your feet twitched and the road called? Not on vacation, or a day at the beach or trip to the spa, but a head out the door for an aimless stroll to nowhere?

It's called wandering, moving without a fixed course, allowing mood and curiosity to be your guide. Depending on your personality, that may or may not sound like kryptonite. It's certainly not easy for me.

Truth is, most of us aren't wired to wander or, more accurately, we've forgotten how. We've been so conditioned by teachers, parents and bosses, so manipulated by schedules and deadlines and have-tos, that we no longer have the time or the space between our heads to go anywhere unless the destination is clearly marked on the map, with something practical waiting for us at the end, like a paycheck or a cold Corona.

Doing nothing we get, but going nowhere is for college dropouts or meth addicts. We may wander, but for only as long as it takes for our GPS to kick back in. For most of us, wandering is what you do when you're waiting for real life to start.

And I get it. Who has time to wander when there's chicken to stir-fry, kids to pick up, MBAs to be earned, clients to meet, dogs to be cleaned up after? Life keeps us busy.

Of course, life also keeps us in the same room.

And therein lies the great challenge of our lives. How do we live in a world, but not be of it? How do we pay the mortgage, take out the trash and still find time to expand our awareness?

If you have the answer, call me. We should do lunch. I know I don't have the answer. But I do know the balance of my life will hinge on how well I try.

I know that if we truly seek reinvention, if we truly seek to escape the one room we're living in, there is a call for us to transcend life itself, or life as we think we know it. We need to zig while the rest of the world zags. Emerson had it right. Do not go where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path and leave a trail.

It's not an easy lesson, but once learned, it has the capacity to change our lives forever. That said, let's cultivate a spirit of wander.

We can start with a commitment. At least once this week, pledge to leave the house with no objective and nowhere to go. Spend at least three to four hours on the road, six is better, and all day ideal. No itinerary. No final destination. It's called wandering - spontaneous travel without map or purpose. I know it's tough.

How Do I Get Started?

Step out of the house, turn left or right, then keep walking. That's it. Grab a bus, take a train, get off when you feel like it. But, don't rely on public transportation entirely. And definitely don't use a car. The problem with roads is that they're clearly mapped, with neatly defined on and off ramps. We follow them automatically. They drop us off in the same expected places. Wandering takes us where we don't expect to go. It surprises us.

What Should I Take With Me?

You should have money, as well as ID and a cell phone. Practicing safe travel is always advised. You should leave behind your schedules, to-do lists, newspapers, books and all reminders of your everyday life. And while you're shutting down, turn off the Wi-Fi, close up the email, put the phone on vibrate. You're off the grid, my friend. Life will still be waiting for you when you get back.

Where Will I Go?

Does it matter?

What If I'm Too Busy?

News flash! You're not too busy, too valuable, too expendable or too anything, or at least that's what my wife is always telling me. Most likely, nobody will even know you're gone. And face it: we can always clear our schedule for what's important. We do it for American Idol all the time. And beers with our friends. Facebook. The opening of Hunger Games.

I realize most of us are stretched and pulled in ten different directions. We have spouses and significant others, bosses and clients, parents and children, in-laws, friends, co-workers and pets. Everybody wants a piece of us. We're too busy for a shower and a glass of wine, let alone for a walk about town.

But, here's the question: when will you make time for yourself if not now? And when I say time, I don't mean time to go shopping or clean the gutters on the roof. I mean time to be alone, to question, to observe, to experiment, to see the world in ways you've never seen before?

No one's asking you to abandon your family and hop into a box car of a moving train. It's a stroll around the city. Give up a couple of TV shows this week; get up early to finish a project ahead of schedule; find a sitter; work evenings. Do whatever you can to free up the time for an afternoon of wander. If you can only go for an hour, go for an hour.

What matters is that you start, that you send an immediate FYI to yourself and the universe that your journey on this planet is as important as anything else you do in life. It sends a message that you are ready to travel where there is no path.

It sends a message that you are ready for The Other 999 Rooms.

Wandering teaches us that without the pressure of ambition or purpose or destination, we can stop trying, relax, and let go. We can slow down, pay attention, and walk with eyes wide open.

We can slip through life with the knowingness that something wonderful could always be around the next corner - your next best friend, your new spouse, a child who needs help, a stranger who might make you laugh, or think, or believe, or act.

Wandering teaches us that what is most valuable is often unscripted...and that in every moment there exists the possibility for new awareness.

Enjoy the trip. We'll see you when you get back.

Bill Apablasa is a writer, social experimenter, nomadic homebody and creator of theother999rooms.com, where he writes about reinventing your life...one room at a time.

Three months before I moved house to live in another town, I had a vision of a man I didn't regonize. I had been asleep and woke up to find him standing at the end of my bed, just staring at me with a blank expression on his face. I remember thinking that he was good looking but not familiar. A little freaked out, I turned over and then looked back and he was gone! At my son's new school I then met him; it was the same man from my vision! There seemed to be some recognition from his side as well; there is a huge magnetic attraction between us even though we both have other partners. Another point is we seem to bump into each other more than normal when out and about in diffrent places. I would like to understand why I saw him before I saw him and what it all means, if anything. Do you think this man is important to me, or should I run as fast as I can? Thank you for your advice.
Amy

Susyn:

It seems you had a precognitive dream about this man and then met him in physical reality, which would get anyone's attention! It is also possible that he astral projected to you during this vision, which would make it more of a spiritual encounter than a regular dream.

It's possible that you have known this man before, most likely in a past life. His ability to come to you in spirit form before you actually met suggests this. That would explain the instant recognition and magnetic attraction you both feel for each other. While there is nothing here to indicate that you will be together in this lifetime, given the mysterious nature of your connection, it would seem that Spirit is preparing you for an important lesson.

When we encounter people from our past, there are usually unresolved karmic issues that come up to be addressed. We do not always know the reason people enter or exit our lives when they do, but we can be sure that there is usually a higher purpose at work.

You may want to consider having a past life reading to learn more about this man, for it will give you some clues as to why you respond to each other in such an intense way. This type of reading can also provide you with some insights regarding the spiritual bond you share.

I have had a few experiences similar to what you describe. On one occasion, I was so taken by the energy and emotions that welled up with a person I met that it took me a few months to move beyond it. At first, I was sure that these intense feelings meant we would end up together, even though we both had other partners. As time passed, however, I came to realize that this man evoked an aspect of myself that had been buried for years or perhaps lifetimes. As it turned out, this encounter changed me, for it empowered me to live with more joy and self-love.

Sometimes this type of connection is designed to reawaken a part of ourselves that has gone dormant, as I feel happened in your case. When we experience this type of powerful energy, we begin to look at ourselves through another's eyes. We feel renewed and awakened when before, we were simply going through the motions.

Embrace this experience by loving yourself more and renewing your commitment to live life to the fullest. Having the attention of this man can open your heart and bring you a higher awareness of your own beauty and special place in the world. Although you do not have to act on the feelings you have for him, you can use their life-giving force to re-energize your heart and spirit.

*****

Oceania:

Just as we saw in the other Double Vision column for the week, a third party is serving as a wake-up call to let you know something is amiss in your primary relationship. Unlike Violet, however, you are able to acknowledge and enjoy your feelings of attraction for the other man.

You saw him before you met him because time is not exactly linear. Spacetime is curved, so we can see and know things before they happen. The image you saw was a preview of a coming attraction!

It's not that you bump into this man more often than normal; it's just that he's very much on your mind, so he's going to stand out in a crowd. You cross paths with many other people you know but because they're insignificant to your personal soap opera, their presence doesn't register or get through to your conscious awareness.

This man is important because he serves as a reminder that it's possible to feel 'huge magnetic attraction' for someone! The sizzle has likely fizzled from your present relationship. When we first meet someone, sexual passion and longing are intense, but as we get to know them, date, get more involved, share a home and so on, other responsibilities compete for our attention. Feelings of attraction and being attractive get reduced to one slice of our relationship pie; very often, that slice ends up in a Tupperware container in the back of the refrigerator.

t is perfectly normal to feel attraction for more than one person and such feelings usually provide a sense of delight; however, acting on them through flirting can be hurtful or disrespectful to your partner. Depending on the degree of emotional trust in your relationship, outside attractions can be used to enhance the fun of the sexual fantasies you share with your lover. We can't help who we're attracted to, so feelings aren't a threat unless they're acted upon.

A word of warning: If you find yourself attracted to a family member or friend of your lover, it's best to keep that to yourself, as such a disclosure can feel too close for comfort. It's better to share fantasies about celebrities or people you know at a distance, and only then if your partner has agreed to this level of intimate sharing.

I recommend you explore why you're making so much of this attraction rather than merely enjoying it or allowing it to inspire you to bring your sexy self to your lover. Given that a child is involved, it would be best to redirect your attention to your primary relationship in order to provide your son with a happy, secure and stable home.

Astrea:

Many times in life we hear, "You will always have what you NEED, but not necessarily what you WANT." Your spirit must have needed to experience the feeling of leaving your human body, and the suggestion in the next chapter of Sylvia Brown's book was all it took to get you there.

Even though you hadn't read it yet, your SOUL recognized the title of that chapter as something it had been seeking, and your soul, knowing that you had that reference to read after your experience, got with it and out you went!

While I don't usually recommend her books, Sylvia Brown has a wide reaching and powerful effect on lots of people. A Gemini like you would be able to relate easily to her writing and put it to good use. Synchronicity - you gotta love it!

I like your description of "getting caught." That's exactly what it feels like, isn't it? One minute you're free and hovering above the room, and the next minute, ZAP! back down into your corporeal form you go!

As a little kid, I loved that "feeling of return." With practice, most of the time we can control that event, but sometimes, when our physical ears hear a distracting noise or something else occurs to knock us back into reality, back we go. With practice you will be able to control your return better.

I find it interesting that you were visiting your mother-in-law and not someone in your own genetic family. Evidently, you and your husband got married for reasons that are even deeper than love. His family's interest in "psychic stuff" will nurture your children in such matters and help them to grow into their own abilities.

You'll never have to be concerned that when your daughter visits them, she'll be discouraged from exploring her own psychic life and power. My parents encouraged me to develop my psychic senses in a time when it wasn't nice to even discuss such things in public. Heck, it's STILL not considered a great topic at the dinner table in some families!

Your kids will get to talk about it ALL and ask questions and read and study. This is going to give them such an edge in life! Talk with your husband about how you want to present this to your kiddos, so that you are united in your approach and ready to tell them their experiences are all natural and okay.

A word or two of warning: Geminis often have difficulty staying grounded in REAL LIFE. Don't get so strung out on your ASTRAL life that you neglect what you're doing here on Earth.

You are at the beginning of a long journey to learn where your power really lies. Try to be patient with this process and take your time.