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The Everyday Witch’s Coven, by Deborah Blake

(Article originally published in The Llewellyn Journal.)

When someone mentions the word "coven," you might envision thirteen black-clad, pointy hat-wearing witches dancing around a fire or cackling around a cauldron. I'm not sure that was ever the norm, but even if it was, times have changed. And covens have changed with them.

During the years when Wicca was the most common form of group Witchcraft practice (or at least the one you were the most likely to find if you went looking), covens usually followed specific outlines. They were led by a high priest and a high priestess, members progressed through levels like first degree and second degree, and there were formal initiations. Rituals were complicated affairs full of ceremony, and everyone wore robes or some other form of garb.

None of this was a bad thing. I've been to a number of wonderful Wiccan rituals, and my first teacher/high priestess had come from a Wiccan coven and that's how she taught those of us who were in her own group (with some variations). We didn't do degrees or initiations, and when I got to the point where I was ready for my own training as a high priestess, she merely set me a number of tasks to perform in my "year and a day" of preparation, but there is no doubt that my witchy origins were firmly rooted in the Wiccan world.

On the other hand, over the last couple of decades, modern Witchcraft practices have changed and shifted. It is, after all, a vibrant and blossoming spiritual practice—the fastest growing religion in North America. As more and more people find their way to a Witchcraft path, the variety of approaches to working within a group structure has changed and shifted, too.

While there are still many traditional Wiccan covens, the desire for diverse forms of group work, along with the need for more flexible alternatives and the changes in Witchcraft itself, have led to a shift in what constitutes a coven, and a group of witches may look very different today than it did twenty or thirty years ago. Certainly my own practice, and my group's practice, have undergone a number of changes from where we started out in 2004. Here are some ways in which covens may vary.

The Modern Witch's Coven—Variations on a Theme

• Size: While covens didn't have to number thirteen, they were often more likely to be larger groups. These days, a coven can literally be as small as two people, if they practice together on a regular basis. My own group started with three, and has been as large as twelve. These days it is usually five with the occasional guest, but not all of the members can attend every single ritual due to distance and scheduling, so it's not unusual for there to be three or four of us at any given ritual.
• How Often They Meet: The first coven I belonged to was a little unusual in that it started out as a study group, so it met every Thursday night, and we simply celebrated whatever occasion was closest to that night, if there was one. Otherwise our high priestess just taught us some aspect of Witchcraft. My own group, Blue Moon Circle, started out by meeting twice a month. We met for every full moon, and for the eight sabbats, and did new moons in the four months without a sabbat in them. But as our lives got busier and more complicated, we ended up just meeting on the sabbats, and observing the full moons on our own. I know covens that only meet on full moons, and others that gather on any and every lunar and seasonal occasion. This can vary from group to group, and will probably be based on what people want and can manage.
• Who Is In Charge: Some covens still have the traditional high priest and high priestess, but it is just as likely to only have one, or to have the person or people who lead the group use no titles at all. (I no longer do, for the most part. I might lead the rituals, but we're all equal.) Some covens don't even have a leader, and people take turns being in charge of ritual.
• How People Dress: Some covens still wear witchy garb (robes or some other clothing specifically reserved for ritual use), while others don't. Blue Moon Circle used to dress up for full moons and sabbats, but we've gotten more relaxed over the years (or lazier, depending on how you look at it) and mostly just show up in our everyday clothes. The only exception is our yearly Yule dinner party, where we get kind of fancy, but nothing particularly witchy. Again, this is something that the people within a coven can discuss and agree on.
• The Rituals: The formality of the rituals themselves will vary a great deal, too. Some covens still do a long, ornate ritual, including walking in a procession into the circle, casting a formal circle, lighting candles and calling quarters, invoking the gods, and so on. Others, especially groups that meet on a more sporadic basis and have a more casual approach, may just skip that part and just do whatever ritual they have planned. My group used to be more formal before Covid hit, but we were all so tired and frazzled, we shifted to a more laid-back way of doing things and most of the time that's what we've stuck with. It really depends on what mood we're in and what we're doing.

No Wrong Way
The most important thing to realize is that there is no one right way to practice with other witches. Whether you call yourselves a coven or not, whether you meet up regularly or just when people have time, whether you are formal or casual, what really matters in that you treat each other with respect, enter into a ritual circle prepared to do serious magical work, and follow whatever your path is with reverence and mirth.

Witchcraft is, at its best, an accepting and welcoming religion, with something to offer to all those who come to it with an open mind and a willing spirit. If you can find people to share it with, that's just a bonus.

Article originally published in The Llewellyn Journal. Copyright Llewellyn Worldwide, 2023. All rights reserved.

Recently I was told that my five-month-old son Alec could be my father reincarnated. While the idea seems really neat, I was hesitant to believe it. My dad, Johnny, has been dead for 12 years. Lately I've started to think it may be true due to similarities between the two, like their love of music. My dad was always happy and smiling, and my son is the same way. What I'm really wondering about is how my son HATES to sleep. He fights it worse than any child I've ever known. Even as a newborn, he would stay awake for eight to ten hours a day, and scream and yell, fiercely fighting sleep until he just couldn't keep his eyes open anymore. He still does this. My dad died in his sleep of an aneurysm, so I'm wondering if perhaps there is a connection. Do you think I'm reading too much into this? Peace and love to you!

Karen

Astrea:

It's always great to reconnect with the people we love after they have moved on into the Light. It would be even better to connect with someone like that in real life: to have someone we loved as much as you obviously loved your father return to you would be so wonderful for you and the rest of your family.

However, your son is not your father reincarnated. I personally don't believe that reincarnation works that way. We have karmic families, or Ka-Tets, that we reunite with in Heaven, and sometimes we are on the Other Side for centuries before we return to Earth to work out the karma we accrued before.

I've done hundreds of past life readings, and in my experience, a person we've already been with isn't born again into our own lifetime, so your father coming back now would be impossible in my opinion.

What IS going on here is your son inherited some things from your dad. A love of music has been proven to be in our DNA or genetic structure. This is true of our ability to be happy and carefree too.

It's natural for your son to exhibit some of the habits and mannerisms that your dad had. In fact, you're right to check things out and watch for problems that could be fixed now or avoided later on in his life. As the mother of a five-month-old, you're allowed a certain amount of unfounded worrying. Be sure to tell your pediatrician what happened with your dad so he can watch for symptoms of the same problems with your kiddo.

As he gets older, your son will learn that you'll be there in the morning or when he wakes up from a nap. Don't try to make him nap during the day; if you let him wear himself out so he is ready to sleep at night, you'll both be a lot happier!

In many ways, you DID get your dad back in your life through the birth of your son, for as he grows up, you will see many similarities in their temperaments. This is your dad's true immortality: he lives through you and your little boy every day of your life.

We keep our loved ones alive by remembering them. Your father is a Guardian Angel for you and your son, but he's not really there with you in physical form. Where he used to help you in many practical ways, he now looks out for you in spiritual ways.

You're lucky to have part of him back in your baby. Enjoy every minute of it!

*****

Susyn:

When someone of any age experiences unwarranted fears, pains or unusual preferences, these recurring events may parallel the manner in which they lived or died in a previous incarnation. Being aware of how your father died makes it hard for you to ignore the possibility that your son could be your father reborn and struggling with memories of his last demise.

Reincarnation experts believe that unwarranted fears and unexplained physical pain are often imprints from a previous life. For example, during past life regression, I discovered the real reasons behind the exaggerated panic that would overcome me whenever I got lost, and now I no longer overreact when I don't know where I am.

I learned how certain circumstances, phobias and preferences in this particular past life were being relived in my current life. This happens more often than you might think, and there are a number of ways to ease your son's fears and struggles.

Keep in mind that though these sleep fears are coming from a past life experience, they are very real to your son. First, ask his pediatrician to examine him closely, checking for any heart or respiratory problems. Once you've established that he is medically fine, you can use some very simple spiritual methods to ease his fears about sleeping.

First, reposition his crib to face the opposite direction it faces now; for instance, turn the bed to run north and south instead of east and west or vice versa. That will alter the magnetic flow of the earth's axis and help him feel more secure.

Also, note places he may sleep better than others. For example, does he fall asleep in a carrier in front of the TV or nod off when he's in a different room or home?

Here is a powerful metaphysical ritual that will de-fuse the past life memories:

Within a half hour of him falling asleep, while he is still in the alpha stage, sit by your son's bed and speak soft affirmations to him, such as You are safe, No harm can come to you, and The fears and pains you carry are from the past - release them.

This will plant a powerful message in his subconscious, where these memories are imprinted. Repeat these mantras for five or ten minutes each night, and after a week or so, you should see the night terrors diminish and eventually clear for good.

Astrea:

Many times in life we hear, "You will always have what you NEED, but not necessarily what you WANT." Your spirit must have needed to experience the feeling of leaving your human body, and the suggestion in the next chapter of Sylvia Brown's book was all it took to get you there.

Even though you hadn't read it yet, your SOUL recognized the title of that chapter as something it had been seeking, and your soul, knowing that you had that reference to read after your experience, got with it and out you went!

While I don't usually recommend her books, Sylvia Brown has a wide reaching and powerful effect on lots of people. A Gemini like you would be able to relate easily to her writing and put it to good use. Synchronicity - you gotta love it!

I like your description of "getting caught." That's exactly what it feels like, isn't it? One minute you're free and hovering above the room, and the next minute, ZAP! back down into your corporeal form you go!

As a little kid, I loved that "feeling of return." With practice, most of the time we can control that event, but sometimes, when our physical ears hear a distracting noise or something else occurs to knock us back into reality, back we go. With practice you will be able to control your return better.

I find it interesting that you were visiting your mother-in-law and not someone in your own genetic family. Evidently, you and your husband got married for reasons that are even deeper than love. His family's interest in "psychic stuff" will nurture your children in such matters and help them to grow into their own abilities.

You'll never have to be concerned that when your daughter visits them, she'll be discouraged from exploring her own psychic life and power. My parents encouraged me to develop my psychic senses in a time when it wasn't nice to even discuss such things in public. Heck, it's STILL not considered a great topic at the dinner table in some families!

Your kids will get to talk about it ALL and ask questions and read and study. This is going to give them such an edge in life! Talk with your husband about how you want to present this to your kiddos, so that you are united in your approach and ready to tell them their experiences are all natural and okay.

A word or two of warning: Geminis often have difficulty staying grounded in REAL LIFE. Don't get so strung out on your ASTRAL life that you neglect what you're doing here on Earth.

You are at the beginning of a long journey to learn where your power really lies. Try to be patient with this process and take your time.