KAJAMA.COM NEWSLETTER

October 17 through October 23, 2022

The Sun will spend its last week in Libra, so let's keep our focus on love, relationships, and balance. Monday's Cancer Moon could make us feel a bit sensitive, so it's important to take all we hear with a grain of salt, avoid making anything personal, and move with a gentle grace. Tuesday and Wednesday the Moon will dance through Leo, bringing out our more generous and heart-based sides. We'll be in the mood to give, but let's be careful not to ignore our own needs in the process! Thursday through Saturday the Moon will charge through Virgo, bringing out our penchant for organization and details. The only warning here is not to get caught up in ideals or become too nit-picky, so let's keep our eyes on the bigger picture and refuse to sweat the small stuff! Saturn will turn direct on Saturday, ending its four-month retrograde period and calling for us to restore discipline and order to our schedules. Tying that in with the Virgo Moon, we may spend most of Saturday clearing out clutter, tossing out things that no longer serve us, or thinking about a remodeling project. The Sun will move into Scorpio on Sunday, followed closely by Venus. With these two planets in the sign of the Scorpion for the next four weeks, our love of the spiritual, the mysterious, and the unusual will long for expression. (And how convenient with Halloween just around the corner!)

by Djuna Wojton

(Article originally published in The Llewellyn Journal.)

We've ushered in a New Year, and with it comes an opportunity to make a fresh start. You have probably made your list of resolutions for the coming year with renewed optimism, but creating positive changes can be challenging.

Even if you are determined to follow through this year, it is easy to get off track; making a change is a gradual process that takes time. You need support and a deep commitment to keep at it when the going gets rough. Perhaps you have made the same declaration in previous years and failed. If so, it is easy to slip into feeling dis-empowered and resigned. Or maybe you want to accomplish too many things at once, or have set your expectations too high, thereby setting yourself up for failure.

Once the holiday parties are over and life slips back into its ordinary routine, the tendency is to go back into old automatic patterns and forget you ever wanted to make any changes—that is, unless you make a conscious effort to keep your resolutions alive and present in your daily life. Here are three tips that can help you avoid the pitfalls and achieve your goals.

1. 1. Expressing gratitude for everything in your life opens the door to greater abundance. Metaphysical law states that "thought goes where energy flows." So, focusing on the fullness of your cup is more productive than dwelling on the emptiness. You have much to be thankful for, not only for your blessings but also for your challenges, because they bring opportunities to grow and move beyond your comfort zone. Shifting your state of mind by being happy with your life exactly the way it is, and exactly the way it isn't, sets the stage for new opportunities to enter. Make it a practice to express gratitude for three things in your life each day; writing them in a journal is most effective.

1. 1. Making a plan can guide your actions. Many people claim that they prefer to be spontaneous rather than following a schedule. But, just as driving with a GPS keeps you focused on your destination and saves time by keeping you on your route, a plan can keep you on track with what is most important to you.I've heard many women claim they want to meet someone special yet they make no attempt to socialize or join a dating service. They expect that Prince Charming will just magically show up on their doorstep. This type of wishful thinking does not produce results. You have probably heard the cliché, "Insanity is doing the same thing over and over expecting a different outcome."Magic happens when we are actively engaged in fulfilling our goals. The following principles can help you formulate a plan and stick to it:
      • • First of all, know what you want, but keep it simple. Set your priority and be specific. For instance, you want to lose five pounds and be in tip-top shape. If this is your goal, that usually means exercising and changing your diet. Get clear if you will be jogging, walking, practicing yoga, lifting weights, or something else. Also see what kind of change in your diet will work for you. Perhaps it means adding more vegetables to your meals and cutting out desserts, or drinking herbal teas instead of soda, or simply cutting back on calories.
      • • Ground your goal in time. How long will it take you to lose the weight and be in better shape? Commit to a reasonable time frame. Maybe it will take you two and a half months to lose five pounds, one pound every two weeks. How often will you need to exercise? One hour a day? Five times a week? Once you have determined what will realistically fit into your schedule, place it on your calendar. Set that time in stone, as if it were an important work commitment. Schedule nothing else during that time, for you are busy and not available for anything else.
      • • Get help. Are you disciplined enough to keep your resolution or do you need a structure of support? Joining a fitness club or signing up for classes at a yoga studio can help you make a commitment, because when you have money on the line, you have something at stake. Or you may need to hire a lifestyle coach or enroll a friend to keep you accountable.
      • • Measure your progress. If you want to lose weight, you may have to buy a scale to actually know how many pounds are melting away. If your goal is to make more money, you need to be able to balance your checkbook and keep track of your budget. If you want to write a novel, you may need to write a certain amount of pages per week.
      • • Keep it alive. You will be tested. If your goal is important to you, you will have to make an effort to continue with it even when you are tired or don't feel like it. Many famous authors were rejected numerous times before they found the right publisher. It is important to be unstoppable and not give up. One of my teachers would always say, "You either have the results you want to have in your life, or the excuses why you don't." If you give up, you'll never get where you want to go.
      • Be kind to yourself. Circumstances often interfere with our best intentions. If you want to eat less, it is inevitable you will be invited to sumptuous dinners. You are bound to have setbacks. And when they occur, it is important not to beat yourself up by feeling guilty. Simply acknowledge the breakdown—you slept instead of going to yoga class. Or you binged on potato chips. It is okay. Just resolve to attend the next class or skip buying junk food.

1. Walking your talk. It is important that your actions are in alignment with your goals. I had one client who declared he wanted a partner, but he spent so much of his free time outside of work caring for his elderly mother that he had no time to invest in dating or getting to know someone. He was angry and exhausted, yet he refused to alter his schedule. If your commitment is to find a mate, are you spending too much time at work or wrapped up with other obligations that you are making yourself unavailable?If finding love is your New Year's resolution, you may need to check to see if you love yourself: all relationships extend from the relationship you have with you. Look in the mirror. Does your appearance reflect the best you can be? If not, you may need to upgrade your self-image with a new hairstyle or new wardrobe so you look and feel your best. Do you love your life because you spend time doing activities you enjoy, or are you waiting for someone to rescue you from your misery because you aren't being responsible for your fulfillment? Becoming your ideal person will help you attract your perfect mate.

But remember, the process is just as important as the end result. The magic lies in the journey of discovery and transformation on the path.

In my book, Karmic Choices: How Making the Right Decisions Can Create Enduring Joy, I offer a variety of exercises, meditations, and a three-step karmic formula to heal old issues, set new goals, and create a life you love.

Article originally published in The Llewellyn Journal. Copyright Llewellyn Worldwide. All rights reserved.

My husband was seeing and actually living with another woman while we were still married. He then killed himself in 2006. I had horrible dreams after his death; after he died, I begged him to give me a sign that he loved me. I felt he had given me a sign through a dream. Then I met a man and we married, and my bad dreams came back! It's my ex leaving me to be with with his girlfriend. He is very mean to me in the dreams. Sometimes I get the feeling he loves me and other times I don't, but I'm always left hurt and alone. I still love him and miss him but I also love my new husband very much. The dreams happened frequently at first; now they only happen once in a while but I wake up just as emotionally hurt as ever. What do you think this means?

Amber

Susyn:

Often dreams are a way to process hidden fears. Though we may have the same dream over and over, it can remain as emotionally intense as it was the first time. Even when they're not based in current realities, these dreams hold important messages for us.

For years after my ex-husband died, I had dreams that he would come back and take our son away. Even though this could not happen, it frightened me. The source of the dreams was my fear of losing my son just as I had lost his father.

This is most likely the case with you as well. It takes years to get over the kind of betrayal you experienced with your husband. I'm referring not just to his infidelity but also to his suicide. Both are forms of abandonment, which can touch us more deeply than we realize. Abandonment creates fear that people we love will leave us for reasons beyond our control. The trauma your ex-husband put you through has left emotional residue for you to process.

Subconsciously, you may carry some fear that your current husband will leave you. Even though he doesn't appear in these dreams, it's common to transfer issues to different people when we dream. Leaving you might be the furthest thing from your husband's mind, but you may nevertheless fear it because of what happened with your first husband. Your current husband can reassure you all he wants, but because this fear is subconscious, it can be triggered at any time and for any number of reasons.

This is referred to as Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). When we experience something shocking or painful, we can carry the trauma of it for years. Through dreams, we often process fears in our subconscious that we may not even be aware of. When you have these dreams, your psyche is working to release some of that fear.

You can learn more by recording these dreams in a dream journal. As you recall the incidents, more will be revealed. When they occur, adding them to your journal will help you release some of the emotional power they hold over you.

You may also want to consider having a reading with a medium who can channel the spirit of your ex-husband. That way, you can ask him about the questions you still carry, including his true feelings for you. This can be a very healing process. Once you learn that he is all right and that he loves you, the troublesome dreams and any fears you still carry about abandonment should subside.

*****

Mata:

I don't think you are actually interacting with your husband in these dreams. If that were the case, you wouldn't be dreaming about what happened in the past; instead, you would be aware that he has died and perhaps communicate in a more enlightened way about what happened and how it has affected you both.

These dreams sound like your subconscious trying to work through what happened in the past so that you can heal from it and get much needed closure. You experienced extreme betrayal when your husband left you to live with another woman. When he then killed himself, you were unable to get answers to your questions about what went wrong and heal the wounds he inflicted on your heart.

These dreams are a sign that you still have healing work to do. Just as people will manifest the same problems over and over again so that they can practice solving them, we may have recurring dreams like the ones you describe so that we can practice dealing with the intense emotions they bring up and begin to inch our way toward a new perspective on it all.

One telling sign is your desire for your former husband to give you a sign from beyond that he does indeed love you. I'm sure that when he left you to live with another woman, you felt anything but loved. It sounds like he was very confused himself, and thus his behavior created a great deal of confusion for you. Now you are left wondering if he ever loved you at all. This big question has been weighing on your heart and stirring up these troubling dreams.

Since these dreams are signs that you have some big questions left unanswered and deep wounds that still need healing, I recommend you either pursue a reading with a medium who can help you communicate with your husband, or better yet, work with a hypnotherapist who can guide you into an altered state of consciousness wherein you can communicate with him directly, ask him whatever you want to ask him, and find the peace and understanding your heart and soul are crying out for in these dreams.

You might also take a more proactive approach to these dreams. By working with conscious dreaming techniques, you can manifest dreams that help you to find peace and healing. You can even ask to have your former husband visit you in your dreams so you can ask him whatever you need to ask him and get the closure you need. To learn more about this, I recommend books by Robert Moss, especially Conscious Dreaming.

Astrea:

Many times in life we hear, "You will always have what you NEED, but not necessarily what you WANT." Your spirit must have needed to experience the feeling of leaving your human body, and the suggestion in the next chapter of Sylvia Brown's book was all it took to get you there.

Even though you hadn't read it yet, your SOUL recognized the title of that chapter as something it had been seeking, and your soul, knowing that you had that reference to read after your experience, got with it and out you went!

While I don't usually recommend her books, Sylvia Brown has a wide reaching and powerful effect on lots of people. A Gemini like you would be able to relate easily to her writing and put it to good use. Synchronicity - you gotta love it!

I like your description of "getting caught." That's exactly what it feels like, isn't it? One minute you're free and hovering above the room, and the next minute, ZAP! back down into your corporeal form you go!

As a little kid, I loved that "feeling of return." With practice, most of the time we can control that event, but sometimes, when our physical ears hear a distracting noise or something else occurs to knock us back into reality, back we go. With practice you will be able to control your return better.

I find it interesting that you were visiting your mother-in-law and not someone in your own genetic family. Evidently, you and your husband got married for reasons that are even deeper than love. His family's interest in "psychic stuff" will nurture your children in such matters and help them to grow into their own abilities.

You'll never have to be concerned that when your daughter visits them, she'll be discouraged from exploring her own psychic life and power. My parents encouraged me to develop my psychic senses in a time when it wasn't nice to even discuss such things in public. Heck, it's STILL not considered a great topic at the dinner table in some families!

Your kids will get to talk about it ALL and ask questions and read and study. This is going to give them such an edge in life! Talk with your husband about how you want to present this to your kiddos, so that you are united in your approach and ready to tell them their experiences are all natural and okay.

A word or two of warning: Geminis often have difficulty staying grounded in REAL LIFE. Don't get so strung out on your ASTRAL life that you neglect what you're doing here on Earth.

You are at the beginning of a long journey to learn where your power really lies. Try to be patient with this process and take your time.