KAJAMA.COM NEWSLETTER

January 30 through February 5, 2023

The Gemini Moon will have us engaged in social and intellectual pursuits on Monday and Tuesday, as we search for creative ways to change up our routines and think outside of the box. If there’s anything you need to get done, however, do it now, as come Wednesday things will slow to a halt and the rest of the work week can be a bit ethereal, thanks to the Moon’s travels through Cancer. Use these days to reconnect with loved ones, restore order to your home, or practice the art of self-care. The weekend’s Leo Moon will bring out our generous sides, as we unite with others in a common goal or reach out to those in need. Sunday’s full Moon in Leo inspires a time of release, so clear out those closets and get things ready for the donation center, or journal to let go of the past and anything that is holding you back from living in the moment or moving forward.

An Introduction to the Tarot Apothecary, by Ailynn Halvorson

(Article originally published in The Llewellyn Journal.)

The Tarot Apothecary lays out a magical approach to the tarot that calls in the four wisdoms of tarot, aromatherapy, imaginative journey (the state of allowing your mind and imagination to journey outside of yourself with a predetermined intention), and simple everyday ritual. This creates a container of magical energies that allow for desired shifts in personal energy. This approach allows you to create your own personal cauldron of magic for movement forward.

This book is designed to be a companion to your personal tarot deck. As we travel through life and through the energies of the cards it is important to learn how to work with, and walk through, the energy of each card. This allows oneself to experience and learn from the message of the card. Sometimes an energy needs to be embraced and worked with. Other times we need to release the overbearing and difficult energy so we can walk through to the other side. In these circumstances, one can ask for support through embracing the energy of a chosen tarot card and working with plant allies to assist on the journey.

The tarot apothecary approach uses the twenty-two major arcana cards and the four queens within the tarot. Each major arcana card includes the following:

• the energy of the card
• plant allies and their energy to assist on the journey
• which queens can be of assistance to you as you work through the major arcana's energy
• companion cards

This approach is designed to bring support, courage, and confidence to move through a current energy allowing you to embrace and learn the message of the card. This approach also allows you to call in any energy you may require to create and step forward on your personal path. As we work with plant allies, stones, colors, meditative journey, and mantras, we gain control in our life and we allow ourselves to grow.

The Tarot Apothecary is written from personal experience, as well as my path of assisting tarot and aromatherapy clients, friends, and family on their adventures through the cards. When I first started working with tarot, I did not try to embrace the energy of the cards I worked with. I believed the influence of the card would come into my life and I would have to either endure or enjoy the energy, depending on the card. I never would have thought of walking through and learning from the message of the card. This new way of embracing each card came to me as I began my journey of working with essential oils and plant allies. I found that if I embraced the energy of the card and called in support from the plant kingdom, I was able to transition through the energy. I felt supported and grounded. As I started to embrace this new way of thinking and allowed myself to feel the energy of the card, at times I found the message of the card was too much and I was either frightened, or too anxious, to allow for total submergence into my personal journey. This is when I discovered that one can ask for support.

Shifting personal energies, by calling in a chosen energy, can give you more options and control in life. In working with tarot we can call in support from not only the twenty-two major arcana cards and the queens, we also have the four elements available to us. The suit of pentacles (earth element) brings in support, structure, grounding, abundance, nourishment, and trust in one's self. Cups (water element) support flow, open heart energy, the ability to be open to receive like the opening in a cup, intuition, spirituality, compassion, and love. Water can support the beginning of movement forward and start a small flow. Wands (fire element) is movement outward, action, the spark, creativity, strength, courage, transformation and leadership. Energy at its highest. Swords (air element) support truth, communication, inspiration, clarity, the ability to get things done, as well as focused intention. Calling in an element that is absent in a reading, or an element that will support your intended goal, helps immensely.

For example, when I was getting ready to teach my very first tarot class, I was terrified. I was talking myself out of teaching by listening to the voice in my head, my ego. You are not worthy of teaching. What makes you think you have the knowledge to teach? Just cancel the class, no one would even know. All of these thoughts raced through my mind. I pulled my cards out and read for myself. I needed to see what they had to say. I asked, "What is holding me back from teaching?" and received the Nine of Swords. I call this card "The Nightmare" because it is an air element card, which makes me ask, "What is going on in my mind?" The Nine of Swords shows fear, anxiety, and sleepless energy. "Fearful to move forward" was my answer. At that point, I decided I was too much in my head and not grounded in my body. By not standing strong, I was fearful.

I decided I did have something to say about tarot and if I did not start teaching now, I would lose the nerve and never teach. Since I felt the need to get back into my body and ground myself, I decided to work with the earth element. My Queen of Pentacles spray was born that day. I went into the kitchen and pulled out every earthy oil I could find and started blending. I paid no attention to what I was eally doing. I wasn't trained at the time. I just mixed patchouli, vetiver, cypress, Virginia cedarwood, and clary sage. I added sweet orange essential oil for a drop of fire. The fire element helped set the intention of starting the spark within, and supporting the energies of courage, confidence, and charisma. I turned all this into a spray that I used on my skin as a body perfume and in the air to call the Queen of Pentacles energy into my external space, and I loved it. I wrote a mantra for myself and worked with the spray at least three times a day, spritzing the spray while repeating the mantra (note: never spray an essential oil blend in the face as essential oils should never go into your eyes). Needless to say, I taught the class, and it was the first of many to come.

After creating my Queen of Pentacles spray, I started working one on one with the queens. I created a spray for each queen and sat in meditation with each queen individually. Each queen spoke with me and I learned to honor and work within their individual energies. I designed and taught a class called, "Goddess Save the Queens: Embracing the Elemental Energies of the Four Queens within the Tarot." Herein I discovered the power of the queens. The tarot queens not only embrace the energy of the element they are a part of, but they own that energy, they ooze that energy. I learned through embracing the energy of a queen, you can become that queen. You embody her energy, be it earth, water, fire, or air. Through embracing a queen's energy you have power, structure, and support based on each queen's elemental correspondence. You have the power you require to walk through your current journey. Even though you have embodied the queen's elemental energy, you are stepping out on your path as you.

You can also ask the assistance of a companion card for support on the journey. In this approach, the companion card is based on numerology. Let's say you are currently working with the energy of the Tower card. The Tower can be a difficult energy to walk through. However, the Tower is an important energy to learn from so you don't have to repeat this lesson again. In tarot the Tower card is fire energy; in order to create new ground for new growth, it burns up anything that needs to go.

This card can often be painful. Things fall away, sometimes unexpectedly. Life can change in an instant and often the ego feels the brunt of the lightning strike. The question with this card is, do you want to embrace the burn? If so, call in more fire and burn that stuff up. If the energy is overwhelming and too hot for comfort, then call in the Queen of Pentacles to add a firm foundation to stand upon. She can create a container for the burn so it does not get out of control and she can also allow support of self. One could call in the Queen of Cups for emotional support and trust in one's own intuition and internal knowing. You could also call in the energy of the companion card. The Tower is number 16 in the tarot. By reducing this number down to 7 (1 + 6 = 7), we find the power of the Chariot.

The Chariot is water element energy, allowing the fire to cool a bit. The Chariot also reminds you to stay focused on your chosen direction. Don't allow your emotions to get in the way. These two aspects give you the ability to move through the fire. Do not react, just feel and continue on. Are you seeing how this works?

The next step is to summon the energy into our life. How do we embrace the energy of a card or call in support from another archetypal energy in the tarot? You can do this by embracing the energy of the support card and calling in plant allies to lead the way. Here we learn to embrace energies through the support of essential oils, herbs, and teas.

How do we determine which cards are influential in our life right now? There are many different ways to discover this. Often there is one card that sticks out during a tarot reading. Maybe the Hermit shows up, and you know that it is time to seek within for your answers. Embracing the Hermit would be your answer. The Hermit is earth element, so using essential oils that are grounding and earthy would be supportive.

I often work with what year I am in the tarot based on my numerology for the year. (You will learn how to calculate your own personal numerology in chapters 2 and 3 of Tarot Apothecary.) I am currently in my Lovers year, so working with the Lovers and plant allies that support the energy of the Lovers are my go-to. The Lovers year embraces new relationships and allows for the release of some relationships. The Lovers year is about choice, one is often at a crossroads with this card. The Lovers is air element energy, so I work with plants such as lavender and peppermint, which also carry the energy of air. I also called in a second card, or archetypal energy, to support my Lovers year. In this case I chose the Fool as my second energy to work with. There was no calculation other than letting my intuition and mind select the card. I wanted to take a leap of faith into a career of writing. This was my crossroads; was I to stay in a "real" full time job, or could I find the courage to jump into a new life of writing? The Fool allows me to jump when needed.

You can also just decide to work with a certain card based on the energy you need at any time in your life, as I did with the Fool. I often call in a queen to help me embrace an elemental energy or the Magician, for manifesting self. All you have to do is look through the pack of cards and grab the image or the card which has the meaning you want to use. Then you can create an altar and call in the associated plant allies to guide you. An altar is a special space set aside for beauty, devotion, ritual and focus on a specific energy, deity, or archetype. This helps to create a relationship with the energies you are currently working with.

At other times, we may not pull cards or read cards at all. Often we know what energy we are lacking or searching for. At these times, we can choose which queen, or major arcana, card we wish to work with. I search through my deck and pull my desired card from my spirit deck. A spirit deck is a special major arcana–only deck I use only for ritual. I often like to use specific decks for specific tasks. I use this deck for ritual and magical intentions only. I also have a special deck in which I really love the imagery of the queens and this deck is my queens deck. I have often bought greeting cards with an especially beautiful feminine energy and elemental twist to them to use as images of the queens on my altars. Working with one deck or one set of images, allows for a stationary or a familiar image for your ritual work with the major arcana and queen workings.

Let's say we wish to work with the energy of the Magician. Here we can work with the earth element (for manifesting upon the earth). Since the Magician also includes the four elements upon his table, we can choose to call in a second elemental energy. What do you wish to manifest upon the earth? Is it a structure, abundance, fertility? These are earth elemental energies. Are you writing, speaking, or singing? Do you need to be truthful with yourself to move forward? Ask the air element to help. Fire element calls in courage, or charisma. Use fire to support your creative project, magic, or transformation. Ask the water element for emotional support, healing a blocked energy, or compassion for self. In this manner we are the Magician and we can manifest our desires.

You don't have to work with an elemental energy for a long time. Sometimes you can call in a particular elemental energy for an hour, or a day. Maybe I have a job interview, or maybe I'm not feeling myself. In this case I call in a queen or major arcana card to encompass the elemental flow needed. For the job interview maybe the earth element in its Queen of Pentacles form can help me be internally grounded and self-sufficient. Maybe fire, the Queen of Wands, for leadership, charisma, and courage. Water, the Queen of Cups, for compassion and caring energy and air, the Queen of Swords, for wisdom, clarity, and truthful speech.

Here's another example: I recently heard a friend of mine talking on a podcast. She stated that she would possibly carry the Emperor to a job interview, as that's the energy she would embrace. Fire element, strong, courageous, and structured. I lack fire in my astrological makeup. I always wear red to an interview to show power, strength, charisma and my creative spirit. Now I often ask myself if the reason I wear red is why I've gotten every job I have ever interviewed for that I wanted.

The tarot apothecary approach teaches you the skills to honor your own magic. In it, you'll learn how to:

• calculate your personal tarot numerology
• spend time with your chosen archetype in imaginative meditation
• blend essential oils
• work with stones
• write mantras to work with your magical potion
• create magical teas

While I teach you the basics, you'll use your personality, power and creativity to decide how you want to work with a chosen energy and how you wish to step forward on your path. Life does happen and sometimes we are not in control; but, we do have the power to determine how we will walk through as well as how we learn from our experiences. Embrace your personal magic, your personal power, and reach your desired destination standing strong and centered in your belief in yourself as The Tarot Apothecary guides you. Our mother, the earth, has gifted us with her powerful gifts and messages from the plant kingdom. We need to be open to believe and receive.

Let the journey begin.

Excerpted from The Tarot Apothecary by Ailynn Halvorson.

Article originally published in The Llewellyn Journal. Copyright Llewellyn Worldwide, 2022. All rights reserved.

I recently decided to meet my estranged father. I've had no relationship with him throughout my childhood and adolescence. I need desperately to find him so I can release and heal the anger, rejection and abandonment issues that have been blocking me from creating healthy relationships. Now that I have opened that door, fear and uncertainty are preventing me from having a relationship with this man. We are both Aquarians. Will this decision to not have a relationship with him have a negative effect on my romantic relationships with men and my ability to create happiness in life? Please help me - I would love to hear your insights.

Dreamchaser:

I want to thank you SO much for this question. In doing my own soul work and healing, I came across a concept that just blew me away. Here it is: When we are growing up, we are taught how to have a relationship with the opposite sex by the parent of that gender. For example, my father always held open doors, pulled out chairs, etc. I grew up believing that all men should treat all women in that manner. To this day, I will not open a door as long as a man is around.

On the flip side, my father was a workaholic and would often break promises because of work. From this I unconsciously began to believe that if I couldn't trust my father, I couldn't trust any man. As soon as I became conscious of that belief, I started to look back over my love life. I saw that I expected a man to let me down or hurt me because my father did. I did not have any example of "good" behavior from a man, and as a result, I did not expect it. If you can see the same thing and realize that your father should not be your model for all male behavior, then you can get past the baggage and issues that go along with that. (By the way, this works for ALL relationships, not just father/ daughter dynamics)

As for connecting with your father, I do not want you to romanticize some meeting where everything becomes instantly wonderful. I think you two can forge a new relationship, and you will have to start from scratch if there is to be any chance of you having any type of relationship with him.

Any negative feelings you are carrying are not going to be instantly erased. Forgiveness starts in our own souls. You do not have to meet this man to be able to forgive him. You just need to start looking back over experiences from your childhood. Take each experience and relive it, so to speak. Stop seeing it from small child eyes and start seeing it from a grown-up perspective. You will see that NONE of it was your fault, and you truly were powerless. Once you start to see your father and his behavior as human, then you can slowly start to forgive.

For example, my dad did not mean to hurt my feelings so badly by missing my events. He simply felt he was doing the right thing by working and providing for us. I can forgive his non-attendance NOW, because I see he felt he was doing what was right. When I was small, however, I felt that I was not important enough for Dad to make time. See? You do the same, and you will be able to forgive.

I wish you and your father a love-filled relationship from here on out.

*****

Astrea:

You are not your father. Your life was shaped without his influence. If you can meet him and take him for the person he has BECOME since you were conceived, you'll learn a few things. If nothing else, you'll learn about your own capacity for TOLERANCE. It'll be worth it to at least mmet him without fear.

As an Aquarius and a Dual Sign, I'm sure you've weighed all the pros and cons of meeting your estranged father. I don't think that avoiding him is going to affect your relationships with men throughout your life anymore than it already has. Meeting him and dealing with all the hurt and resentment you've felt all your life should actually FREE YOU from that. It's important to remember that everyone has issues and baggage. The men you might be involved with will have their share of that stuff too. Everyone is an INDIVIDUAL. Keep that in mind throughout this reconnection with Dad.

You seem like an open person who is able to take people for who they are. That open, accepting Aquarian attitude is something lots of us would love to master. Meeting Dad doesn't necessarily mean that you'll develop a deep, meaningful relationship with him, but you have to know some things, kiddo. You say you "desperately need to find him" to resolve some of the issues you have been carrying around with you since you were a little kid. Do that! Find him, meet him, THEN decide. Reconnecting with him carefully might not HELP, but it surely won't HURT you spiritually!

Remember that he too has a lot of guilt and fear coming into this. He doesn't have a clue who you are, either! It's going to take some courage on his part to hear some of the things you feel you need to say. You have to give him some credit for his willingness to even try, but since he's also an Aquarius, it shouldn't surprise you. Just remember, fear is useless. You can't eat it, wear it, or spend it. By talking to your Dad, however, you may develop a new relationship, and it could be GREAT!

Go ahead, open the door. Find out what he's like. NOT knowing is worse.

The idea of developing a relationship with someone like him is strange indeed, but it's the right thing to get to know him, hear his side of the story (there are always two!) and then make an EDUCATED decision about the place he can or can't have in your life. Your Spirit is STRONG, and you have Guides and Angels who will counsel you when that time comes. Remember, it takes about two years to really get to know a person, even a relative if you've had little or no involvement growing up.

Astrea:

Many times in life we hear, "You will always have what you NEED, but not necessarily what you WANT." Your spirit must have needed to experience the feeling of leaving your human body, and the suggestion in the next chapter of Sylvia Brown's book was all it took to get you there.

Even though you hadn't read it yet, your SOUL recognized the title of that chapter as something it had been seeking, and your soul, knowing that you had that reference to read after your experience, got with it and out you went!

While I don't usually recommend her books, Sylvia Brown has a wide reaching and powerful effect on lots of people. A Gemini like you would be able to relate easily to her writing and put it to good use. Synchronicity - you gotta love it!

I like your description of "getting caught." That's exactly what it feels like, isn't it? One minute you're free and hovering above the room, and the next minute, ZAP! back down into your corporeal form you go!

As a little kid, I loved that "feeling of return." With practice, most of the time we can control that event, but sometimes, when our physical ears hear a distracting noise or something else occurs to knock us back into reality, back we go. With practice you will be able to control your return better.

I find it interesting that you were visiting your mother-in-law and not someone in your own genetic family. Evidently, you and your husband got married for reasons that are even deeper than love. His family's interest in "psychic stuff" will nurture your children in such matters and help them to grow into their own abilities.

You'll never have to be concerned that when your daughter visits them, she'll be discouraged from exploring her own psychic life and power. My parents encouraged me to develop my psychic senses in a time when it wasn't nice to even discuss such things in public. Heck, it's STILL not considered a great topic at the dinner table in some families!

Your kids will get to talk about it ALL and ask questions and read and study. This is going to give them such an edge in life! Talk with your husband about how you want to present this to your kiddos, so that you are united in your approach and ready to tell them their experiences are all natural and okay.

A word or two of warning: Geminis often have difficulty staying grounded in REAL LIFE. Don't get so strung out on your ASTRAL life that you neglect what you're doing here on Earth.

You are at the beginning of a long journey to learn where your power really lies. Try to be patient with this process and take your time.