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April 3 through April 9, 2023

We'll need to keep our egos in check as the week kicks off under an idealistic Virgo Moon. We'll tend to think our ideas are the best, and perhaps they are, but striving for teamwork and considering the needs of others will also play into the mix this week. Moving with balance will be easier when the Moon moves into Libra on Tuesday, where it remains until it waxes full on Thursday. Taking things in stride, biding our time, and holding fast to the ultimate goal will help us maneuver the ups and downs of the week. The full Moon may also ask us to let go of our ideas entirely once it peaks when a new and better dream emerges under Friday and Saturday's Scorpio Moon. Watch for more assertive energy to fill the air on Sunday, as the Sagittarius Moon combines forces with the Aries Sun and tends to bring out our aggressive or stubborn side. The best advice I can give you to get through this week is to choose your battles wisely, OR, to sit on the sidelines and let everyone else duke it out!

Dreaming Beyond: 7 Tips for Connecting with Your Departed Loved Ones Through Your Dreams, by Linda Yael Schiller

(Article originally published in The Llewellyn Journal.)

After the question, "What does my dream mean?" the most common question that I get as a dreamworker is, "Can I connect with my departed relatives through my dreams?" Even the most intrepid "dreams-mean-nothing" dreamers ask about this. Last week I was talking with Mia, my hairdresser, about a Dream Salon we are going to do at her hair studio to help get word out about both the power of dreamwork and my book, Modern Dreamwork: New Tools for Decoding Your Soul's Wisdom. Her husband, also a stylist there, overheard us and joined the conversation saying, "I don't dream, and I don't think they mean anything anyhow, but if I did I would want to see my mom again. She died 5 years ago." After extending my condolences, I shared with him that actually, everyone dreams every night, but we don't always remember them. We all have 5-7 REM cycles ("rapid eye movements," which have been shown through PET scans to indicate when we are dreaming), but we tend to remember only the ones we have when we first wake up. However, if we don't write them down or record them in some way, we forget those as well. Dreams are as gossamer as wisps of mist or smoke.

I continued by letting him know that if he wanted to have a visit from his mom, it was highly likely that he could have one, and he could start by a) wanting to have her visit, b) believing that it was possible, and c) inviting her over. "Sometimes our beloveds are right there, and just waiting for an invitation before they come for a visit," I told him.

These first steps help us to set the stage for a nocturnal visit. The veil between worlds may be thinner while we are asleep, and the spirits of our departed loved ones may have an easier time contacting us then, especially if given an invitation to pave the way. When the conscious censoring parts of our minds that say things like, "That couldn't happen," or, "That can't be real" are tucked in for the night, our wider collective mind and our personal unconscious and soul-mind are free to journey to other places and realms during unguarded moments such as our dream states. When asked whether he felt that our dream life was as real as our waking life, Thomas Moore, author of Care of the Soul, answered: "Very real, maybe even more so." When Dorothy returned to Kansas at the end of her journey to Oz, her Auntie Em told her, "It was just a dream, dear." To which Dorothy responds, "No, Auntie Em, it was a very real place," and would not be convinced otherwise. After all, she had just been there.

Our mythic stories often contain the seeds of our deeper truths. Mythos, legend, fairy tales, and modern film and fantasy all contain allusions or references to connecting across time and space and the veil between life and afterlife. In Greek myth, Orpheus journeys to the underworld to attempt to retrieve his beloved Persephone. Harry Potter periodically receives messages of love and support from his deceased mother that help to sustain him through his many trials.

Tibetan tradition teaches that there is a Bardo state between worlds where the spirits of our loved ones can rest on their transition to their final destination, and also where we may be able to join. Indigenous peoples such as the Anishinaabe hold ceremonies to invite the spirits of their departed loved ones in to teach, guide, and heal. Mexican tradition has an annual Day of the Dead, where not only are gravesites tended with feasts and flowers, but dead relatives are greeted, acknowledged, and conversed with.

In the internationally popular movie Fiddler on the Roof, Tevye needs to convince his wife Golde that they should allow their daughter Tzeitel to marry her beloved Motel the tailor, rather than Lazar Wolf to whom she was betrothed. To get his wife to agree to this plan, he pretends that Goldie's beloved deceased grandma had appeared to him in a dream to give her blessing to this new idea of a love match. Tevye knew the power of dreams for his wife, and that a dream-visit with a message from the other side would have an unarguable impact on her. So, taking no chances, in his fabricated dream scene, Tevye wakes up Goldie and reports what he had been "told" in a dream by her grandma: That she is giving her blessing to the match. Tevye's ploy of reporting visits from beyond the grave finally convinced Goldie of the validity of this newfangled plan of marrying for love. This was the most powerful message for Golde, and although her husband told a white lie in the service of allowing his daughter to marry the man of her own dreams, there was no doubt for either him or Golde that a visit from beyond the grave was a possible and viable experience.

Dreaming of a loved one after their death almost universally brings a sense of peace and comfort to the dreamer, as well as an opportunity to put closure on any unfinished business that might be lingering in the relationship before the death. Sometimes our loved ones come as themselves, or sometimes we can recognize them in another form as they come to comfort us in our sleeping or our waking dream states. When my dad died, my mother reported that after a few days had passed, then every day for a full week, a bright red male cardinal came and tapped at her bedroom window. She knew in her soul that it was her beloved Bud coming to connect. Never before had this happened, and she was immensely comforted by this waking dream visit. Now whenever anyone in my family sees a cardinal, we all say, "Hi Dad, so nice to see you!"

My first dream visitation from a departed beloved actually came from my cat Ashorka. She came to visit in a dream I had a few months after her death. In it, she assured me that she was happy and would be a guide to me when my time came to cross over as well. She was one of the lucky ones—she died peacefully in her sleep at the ripe old cat age of sixteen years. She is my role model for a good death. In her life I referred to her as a gray Buddha in a fur suit, and her name actually came to me in a dream about a cat gazing deeply into my eyes when we first brought her home from the shelter. She was frequently my co-therapist and would slip down to my office and do therapy with me. She seemed to have an innate understanding of who needed their leg rubbed or a warm, furry visitor in their lap at just the right moment.

I wonder if it is easier for animals to cross over these thresholds, since they do not seem limited by our view of what is "real" or not. And perhaps the animals and their people continue to share a soul connection after they depart, as well as in life, particularly in the case of our animal familiars, a Wiccan term, or daemons, and term made popular by the Golden Compass series of books.

Let us now look more closely at how we can connect with our departed, and then how we can recognize and differentiate a "visitation" from a dream where Grandma or Dad feature as a dream character. The following are a series of steps or states of being I have found useful in connecting with departed loved ones:

1. 1. Bring clearly into your consciousness that you have a desire to connect, a desire for that visit. We tend to attract into our lives that which we look for and pay attention to, and it works for this goal, as well. Say it out loud, or write it in your dream journal before going to sleep. It can be very simple: "I'd like to connect with my husband."
   2. If you are a skeptic, bring in that "willing suspension of disbelief." Allow yourself to not only want to connect with your mom or sister, but allow that it is possible. If necessary, you can tell yourself that since none of us know for sure what happens after we die, it is just as likely as not that the soul retains the energetic imprint of our loved one even after the body is gone.
   3. Extend an invitation. In life, if we want a friend or family member to come over for dinner or a party, we generally have to extend an invitation first. The same may be true for our friends and family in the spirit realm: they may be hanging around simply waiting to be invited first. My instincts tell me to give the departed at least a few weeks to get settled after the death of their body before requesting a visit, however.
   4. Learn to recognize what is a dream. A dream can be the images we see or the stories we have while asleep. It can also be a sensation, or a feeling, or even a scent. Tom smelled his wife's perfume one night in his dream and knew she had visited. Those in-between zones between waking and sleeping, and then between sleep and wakefulness, Carl Jung called the hypnopompic and the hypnogogic zones. These are also valid dream states. And finally, some dreams come to us while we are wide awake, such as my mom's cardinal visitation. One hallmark of a visitation dream is that is feels very real.
   5. Stay with it. Don't give up if you don't get a response right away. You may need to incubate a dream inviting or requesting a visit for several nights or weeks before getting a response. Incubating a dream means setting an intention of what you would like to dream about before you go to sleep at night, and often writing it out in your dream journal or saying it out loud to give it strength. This method can be used for many issues, dilemmas, or requests. My book Modern Dreamwork: New Tools for Decoding Your Soul's Wisdom devotes a whole chapter to this. Know too that spiritual beings have "a life of their own," and may not be available to simply come when you call.
   6. People can show up in our dreams as a metaphor or a symbol for something, or as a visitor from the other side. Some dreams are processing or release dreams; they help us to grieve and process our feelings of loss and sadness. To differentiate, in a visit there is often a visceral or physical element that is not there when it is symbolic. You may feel a physical sensation or a smell a scent, as Tom did. I hear the tone and timbre of my dad's voice when he visits as if he were in the room speaking with me. My dream circle member Margo could feel her mom hugging her. The energetic quality of the person may be there, whether they have come as themselves or in animal spirit form. These dreams are often very vivid.

Finally, there seems to be a consensus that a feeling of deep connection and awe or joy exists in a visitation dream. Often there is little storyline to this type of dream; the connection and bonding is the main event. They frequently leave a lasting impression and the dreamer wakes with strong emotions

Usually, the deceased will seem happy, healthy, and perhaps younger than they were when they passed. They may come bearing a message for you, to clear up any unfinished business on earth, or simply to assure you they are still with you. It is an opportunity to get greater closure, and the dreamer may feel profoundly changed by the experience. They may visit just once, on anniversary occasions, or whenever you call. There is no right or wrong way to dream or to establish this connection. May you have the connection you are seeking, and may your dreams bring you the comfort of coming home.

Article originally published in The Llewellyn Journal. Copyright Llewellyn Worldwide, 2019. All rights reserved.

I recently saw a TV show on twins and they were saying that twins are so much alike because they share the same genetics, not because they share a psychic connection. As a twin, I have always felt intuitively connected to my sister even though we have very different tastes, ideals and traits. I just wondered what you think about the psychic and astrological aspects of twins, and if you could shed some light on why my sister and I are actually so different even though we were born within minutes of each other. Our birth date is June 24, 1974. Thanks!
Ella

Susyn:

Whether you are coming from a genetic or astrological viewpoint, the study of twins is really fascinating. In addition to biology, twins share the same womb for nine months and almost always share the same birthday. Some twins are very similar in nature while others form very different personalities, but they all tend to share a psychic connection that most scientists can't explain. Metaphysically, these two souls chose to come into the world together, so they are bound by heart and spirit in addition to physical similarities.

One study I read involved twins who were separated at birth. Even though they did not grow up together, their lives tended to mirror each other's. The research showed that their preferences, life experiences, career choices, homes, and even the names of and number of children or pets they had were remarkably similar.

Twins develop their own personalities as they grow. Even though they share the same birthday, twins can appear to be very different from one another. One may be an extrovert while the other tends to be shy; one may excel at studies while the other tends to be less serious and more creative.

Each sign of the zodiac has different attributes. Twins, being two halves of a whole, may each display different personalities. For example, Aries is associated with assertiveness, ambition and determination. It also embodies the traits of loyalty, hard work and frugality. So while one Aries twin might be an entrepreneur and always challenging herself with higher goals, the other may carry a reputation for being a dependable and reliable long-term employee.

In the case of you and your sister, you have even more choices. Born under the sign of Cancer but during the month associated with Gemini, you are influenced by both signs. Many people born during the last 10 to 12 days of a month will actually operate as a blended sign by integrating the traits of both. Cancers are typically defined as sensitive, emotional, creative and introverted. They love to cook and garden. Geminis are intellectual. They can have difficulty making up their minds and tend to be extroverts. They love communication and variety. You and your sister may each share different traits of both these signs.

The wonderful thing about twins is that they are psychically connected in every way, but are still free to grow and develop into individuals with unique tastes. Even though they share the same Sun sign and planetary positions at the time of birth, they are not astrologically limited, for each one has a unique soul and destiny.

*****

Oceania:

You don't say whether you and sister are identical or fraternal twins, so I'll address both cases. Identical twins occur when one fertilized egg divides into two embryos. They're also known as monozygotic twins, meaning from one egg. Fraternal twins occur when a woman's ovaries release two eggs during the same cycle and both are fertilized. They're also known as dizygotic twins, meaning from two eggs.

Fraternal twins can have different fathers if the timing is right, but even when they share a father, they can differ greatly in appearance and personality. Genetically, fraternal twins are no more similar than any two siblings; they just happen to be the same age. One fraternal twin might be cautious and compliant, while the other is bold and adventurous. Their unique approaches to life cause people to respond to them differently, so their life experiences begin to diverge.

Twins of any variety often describe feeling an intuitive connection with one another, which probably stems from sharing close quarters during their first nine months of life and being constant companions thereafter for many years. Twins share the perspective of being born into the same family, community and society at the same moment in history. Their shared memories are unique to the two of them, which creates a strong bond.

The fact that you and your sister are so different suggests you are fraternal twins, but since identical twins are always of the same sex, you may be of that variety. In that case, your differences can be explained in part by molecules known as epigenetic markers, which attach to genes and switch their expression on or off. Science is still learning what factors affect the development of these markers; so far they know they can be triggered by diet, illness or exposure to pollutants like cigarette smoke.

Although this chemical process can make twins less identical over time, adoption research still shows that even when identical twins are raised apart, they end up more similar than do unrelated children who were adopted and raised under the same roof.

Psychological factors can contribute to the development of differences in identical twins. I once worked with a family with identical twin girls and observed that their feisty, independent personalities seemed to spark a determination to be different from each other. They had fun experimenting with different looks, hobbies and educational pursuits. If they had not been so similar to begin with, they may not have felt driven to be so creatively different!

Astrea:

Many times in life we hear, "You will always have what you NEED, but not necessarily what you WANT." Your spirit must have needed to experience the feeling of leaving your human body, and the suggestion in the next chapter of Sylvia Brown's book was all it took to get you there.

Even though you hadn't read it yet, your SOUL recognized the title of that chapter as something it had been seeking, and your soul, knowing that you had that reference to read after your experience, got with it and out you went!

While I don't usually recommend her books, Sylvia Brown has a wide reaching and powerful effect on lots of people. A Gemini like you would be able to relate easily to her writing and put it to good use. Synchronicity - you gotta love it!

I like your description of "getting caught." That's exactly what it feels like, isn't it? One minute you're free and hovering above the room, and the next minute, ZAP! back down into your corporeal form you go!

As a little kid, I loved that "feeling of return." With practice, most of the time we can control that event, but sometimes, when our physical ears hear a distracting noise or something else occurs to knock us back into reality, back we go. With practice you will be able to control your return better.

I find it interesting that you were visiting your mother-in-law and not someone in your own genetic family. Evidently, you and your husband got married for reasons that are even deeper than love. His family's interest in "psychic stuff" will nurture your children in such matters and help them to grow into their own abilities.

You'll never have to be concerned that when your daughter visits them, she'll be discouraged from exploring her own psychic life and power. My parents encouraged me to develop my psychic senses in a time when it wasn't nice to even discuss such things in public. Heck, it's STILL not considered a great topic at the dinner table in some families!

Your kids will get to talk about it ALL and ask questions and read and study. This is going to give them such an edge in life! Talk with your husband about how you want to present this to your kiddos, so that you are united in your approach and ready to tell them their experiences are all natural and okay.

A word or two of warning: Geminis often have difficulty staying grounded in REAL LIFE. Don't get so strung out on your ASTRAL life that you neglect what you're doing here on Earth.

You are at the beginning of a long journey to learn where your power really lies. Try to be patient with this process and take your time.