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Why Our Life on Earth Affects Us in the Afterlife, by Kristy Robinett

(Article originally published in The Llewellyn Journal.)

The phrase "Rest in Peace" (or R.I.P.) originated from the Latin, "Requiescat in pace," which comes from a prayer within the Roman Catholic burial liturgy that means "may he (or she) rest in peace." It is an adage we often use when we hear someone has passed away. The acronym R.I.P is appropriately how the living feel–their life, their heart, and sometimes their soul, feeling ripped apart when their loved one transitions to the other side. Death may be peaceful for those on their afterlife journey, but not so much for those living with the heartache.

Just as we all have our own unique birth story, our life, and our journey to the afterlife, and subsequent life after life is just as unique. Through the heavenly signs and symbols that our loved ones share from the afterlife, the mourner is gifted with the assurance that there is an afterlife and a tentative feeling their loved one is okay on the other side. These are reminders that there are no such thing as random coincidences, but instead well-planned, heavenly hellos. But are the souls on the other side truly at peace and are they really resting in the afterlife? That answer, according to the departed, seems to depend upon how well the living did with their lessons of living.

The Other Side can be split up into three sectors: Heaven, Hell, and the In Between (often referred to as Purgatory). Obviously, for many of us, our first choice would be heaven; however, the other two become an option as well when we take our last earthly breath and breathe in the eternal. It's not necessarily a ledger of our good deeds that determine our destination; it's our own soul-set. Create Your Heaven
Heaven is what you make of it. Take a moment and close your eyes and envision the most beautiful sunset or sunrise you've ever seen. Think of the feeling you feel when you are with someone who is aligned to you. Feel the energy of the biggest belly laugh. Imagine your favorite scent, your favorite food, your favorite memory, or your favorite vacation. Those glimpses of experiences are a tiny taste of what Heaven is like. Just as we shouldn't waste our days away waiting for summer, or for Friday, or for someone to fall in love with us, or for happiness, we also shouldn't wait for heaven to find our heaven. The more that those who have departed have shared with us, the more of an outline we can create for our heaven, and the easier it becomes to so-call "build" it.

The In Between
Fear is paralyzing. Some of the fears may not be as abstract as worry over a zombie apocalypse, but they are real and true worries and fears. Those fears start as kids with fearing our parents will die, to worries about failing a class, to fear of the boogie man in the closet. Those fears can continue into adulthood. Will I ever find love? Will I lose my job? If I lose my job will anybody hire me? Will I die before my child is grown? Will I lose my house? The fears and worries escalade as time continues and that stress does something, although most of the time not seen (especially if you have a great hair colorist!), to your soul, your spirit, and your physical body. It puts stress on your system, just as high temperatures do to ice, and can cause an eventual cave in if you don't watch it. The stress also stops the flow of what you do want in your life. By holding on to the fear, the worries, and the what-ifs, you sabotage your true wishes from ever coming true, and this can continue into the afterlife.

There is often a fear of what will happen when one passes away, and whether there's a choice to walk in to the light or to not walk in to the light. Those who have departed have described the In Between differently. Some have felt it was a lonely and fearful place. Others described it as a healing place, much like the recovery room after surgery. All have said that they never felt at home in the In Between, unlike the description from those who walked in to the light to their heaven.

The Dark Place
Just as you create your life, you can create your hell as much as you can create your heaven.

Have you ever met someone who is miserable every day, all day long? No matter what good happens they find fault in something, sometimes everything? They live within their own personal hell, a place of uncomfortable comfort for them. Some are frightened of them and for them, while others offer sympathy and comfort. It's hard for those who only see darkness to welcome in positivity or enlightenment. If they don't know what peace feels like here, how will they discover it on the other side where we are to take our lessons here and use them along our quest?

Nobody is given a map of life, but we are all given the same tools to discover our path. Some choose a less than restful path, while others choose an expansive eternity. There are those who created darkness here in the earthly plane, and most likely carried that darkness with them into their afterlife. The departed have spoken to tell me they don't get a key card to the doors of the dark place, nor do they want one.

Advice from the Departed for a Soulful Life
The souls have offered advice to those in the earthly place so they can actually live and their other side be filled with life.

1. Spend more time with good thoughts.
2. Let go of what isn't working.
3. Be kind, including to yourself.
4. Find time each day to find your inner peace.
5. Bring joy, love, and laughter to each experience.
6. Forgive yourself for failures.
7. You can start over on any day, at any time.

Death is not a wall, death is a doorway. Lessons aren't punishment, but enlightenment. We first must be able to find our peace here on earth so we can rest in peace in the afterlife.

Article originally published in The Llewellyn Journal. Copyright Llewellyn Worldwide, 2018. All rights reserved.

My question involves myself, Liz (Scorpio), ex-hubby Jon (Capricorn), and current love Walt (Sagittarius). I was married to Jon for 13 years. These were the best years of my life, and this was the most loving relationship I'd ever known. We were BEST friends, but he lacked passion. I ignored that issue because everything else was so blissful between us. Then years ago, sadly I initiated a divorce after meeting Walt. I wanted a mate who could return my passion. Jon understood and reluctantly let go. We remained friends, and it seemed almost nothing changed between us but our addresses! We talked daily, shared activities - even had sleepovers (still no sex.) Walt, a bit of a loner, seemingly accepted my friendship with Jon, so I gained a lover but didn't lose my best bud. Jon rarely dated and I felt guilty I'd found new love when he hadn't. I prayed he'd find a happy committed relationship so I could enjoy MY new love guilt-free. Then just recently, Jon did find love, and has pulled away to enjoy his new partner. My wish came true! He seems so happy, fulfilled and PASSIONATE, and his partner adores him.

Why do I suddenly feel devastated? It doesn't seem very spiritual of me. It's not that I really want Jon back as a husband. We truly weren't compatible as mates, but he was my first "rock," and that aspect of my life has diminished. I thought I'd be able to commit more fully to Walt once Jon was happy in a relationship too, but now all I think about is Jon. Crazily, I'm regretting that our marriage ended, even though I know it wasn't a real marriage since the flame of passion was so dim on his side. I feel jealous when I should feel grateful that he too found the gift of mutual passion. Suddenly I'm having the hardest time making peace with being divorced from Jon, even though it's been three years! I feel stuck in the past. Can you help me evolve and move forward? Walt loves me so, and I truly love HIM. I know there's an important growth opportunity in here somewhere. Thank you! - Liz

Dreamchaser:

Liz, as you are a Scorpio, I can absolutely understand your need for passion. Jon has found his own special someone and you are jealous. You really liked knowing that he still loved you and that the door was still cracked open for you if you needed to go back through it. Now that door is closed, and that completely freaks you out on MANY levels. As odd as this sounds, you feel very alone suddenly. You are also jealous because he is not paying as much attention to you and you miss him. You want your friend back.

You're also wondering how he could find passion with someone else and not YOU. It gave you some comfort seeing him remain single and passion-less, but now that he has this love and he is happy and full of LIFE, you can't help but wonder if something inside YOU prevented the spark of passion in your relationship. You are comparing yourself to his new love, and this brings up feelings of inadequacy that stem from your childhood. You do NOT like how this feels. In your eyes, Jon is now the perfect man, for the one element he was missing has been found, so you want him back.

Liz, there are lots of people who are amazing friends, but very poor lovers. There are also some people who are amazing lovers, but very poor friends too! You and Jon are most assuredly soul mates. You are supposed to be together in SOME form in this life. When you met, you loved each other instantly. It was a comfortable, comforting kind of love. You "knew" on some level that it was not everything you wanted, but it was REALLY good. He is a very good man and a good friend to you. You made the trade-off that MANY people make when they say to themselves, "Well, he (or she) is probably as close to perfect as I am going to find."

If there is something important missing in a relationship, such as sexual compatibility, then you're not meant to be lovers. Like you and Jon, people can stay friends and go on to find the element that is lacking elsewhere. SO many people fall into this same "hole" Liz.

You and Jon are not meant to be lovers, you are meant to be friends. You two together cannot summon the passion that you find with others. He is not leaving your life. He will still be your best friend. I think your feelings are telling you to look at your own marriage carefully. Are you lacking something important there, or do you have everything you need?

*****

Astrea:

You seem pretty darned enlightened to me, kiddo. What you're experiencing is ONLY HUMAN! No matter how spiritual we become, we are still HUMAN beings with HUMAN feelings and human hurts. Of course you're going to feel some resentment that Jon has found someone who seems to be able to ignite the passion in him you weren't getting when you two were married. This is entirely NORMAL! We ALL feel like that when our exes find happiness with someone else, whether we're still in love with them or not.

What you're also feeling is a FINAL kind of separation from Jon that you haven't had to feel before, because you've been able to BE enlightened and remain friends, even though your Karma as husband and wife is finished in this incarnation. This is why you find yourself thinking of him constantly, and even wondering what it would be like to be with him again. I really don't think that you WANT to be reunited in that way. You do love Walt and you've found happiness with him. You may have found that during this time of emotional struggle for you, he gets on your nerves a little bit (little things jump out at you), but this too is normal and will pass.

You ARE facing this in a VERY SPIRITUAL way, because you're QUESTIONING why you feel the way you do about the situation. Don't think that there is something spiritually wrong with you. Jon is all happy now, and okay, that's hard to take because the two of you stopped creating that for one another. He's probably busier now, and his new love might not really want him with you all the time, like he was able to be before. I'm sure he is all caught up in his transition from being single to being in a happy new relationship. I'm sure at times he even seems to be "rubbing it in," but he doesn't mean to.

This is nothing but a new TRANSITION in your friendship too. Once the "new" wears off his romantic relationship, Jon will be back to being the friend you've known him to be. It's hard to get used to sharing his energy, but that's all you really have to accomplish. I know in your heart that you are THRILLED that he's happy; it's just your head that needs convincing now. You'll get to a good and comfortable place with this new experience if you just give yourself some patient time to adjust. If JON loves this girl, you will love her too in time, because you and Jon are so very much alike.

Astrea:

Many times in life we hear, "You will always have what you NEED, but not necessarily what you WANT." Your spirit must have needed to experience the feeling of leaving your human body, and the suggestion in the next chapter of Sylvia Brown's book was all it took to get you there.

Even though you hadn't read it yet, your SOUL recognized the title of that chapter as something it had been seeking, and your soul, knowing that you had that reference to read after your experience, got with it and out you went!

While I don't usually recommend her books, Sylvia Brown has a wide reaching and powerful effect on lots of people. A Gemini like you would be able to relate easily to her writing and put it to good use. Synchronicity - you gotta love it!

I like your description of "getting caught." That's exactly what it feels like, isn't it? One minute you're free and hovering above the room, and the next minute, ZAP! back down into your corporeal form you go!

As a little kid, I loved that "feeling of return." With practice, most of the time we can control that event, but sometimes, when our physical ears hear a distracting noise or something else occurs to knock us back into reality, back we go. With practice you will be able to control your return better.

I find it interesting that you were visiting your mother-in-law and not someone in your own genetic family. Evidently, you and your husband got married for reasons that are even deeper than love. His family's interest in "psychic stuff" will nurture your children in such matters and help them to grow into their own abilities.

You'll never have to be concerned that when your daughter visits them, she'll be discouraged from exploring her own psychic life and power. My parents encouraged me to develop my psychic senses in a time when it wasn't nice to even discuss such things in public. Heck, it's STILL not considered a great topic at the dinner table in some families!

Your kids will get to talk about it ALL and ask questions and read and study. This is going to give them such an edge in life! Talk with your husband about how you want to present this to your kiddos, so that you are united in your approach and ready to tell them their experiences are all natural and okay.

A word or two of warning: Geminis often have difficulty staying grounded in REAL LIFE. Don't get so strung out on your ASTRAL life that you neglect what you're doing here on Earth.

You are at the beginning of a long journey to learn where your power really lies. Try to be patient with this process and take your time.