KAJAMA.COM NEWSLETTER

by Sheila Burke

The other day, I was sitting on my front steps enjoying a mildly warm end of the afternoon. I sat gazing at the young couple across the street. They were out with their little one who is just learning to walk. They were laughing and playing, their dog barking, the baby taking a few steps and then flopping down on her butt...and then back up again 50 times over. Mom and dad were pointing things out to the baby and encouraging her to touch a leaf, watch the deer nearby, and look up at the sky.

I sat there smiling, remembering a time not all that long ago when my own kids were wee ones. They were 12, 10, and 8 when we moved here, and there was an elderly couple in that very house across the street. The lady's name was Emma. We talked quite a bit and many a day she sat on her own stoop or stood in the window with the curtain slightly drawn back, watching us play with our children in the front yard. We were always out there playing something, whether it was Frisbee, baseball, football, kick-the-can, freeze tag, or whatever the game of choice was that day. Filled with giggling, laughter and red, sweaty faces. The neighborhood kids came to play too. (In fact, one lady down the street thought we had six or seven kids, and was shocked to hear only three were actually ours.)

One day, Emma and I were talking by our mailboxes, and she said with a smile on her face, Oh how I love watching the children play, it reminds me of long ago when mine were little. That was such a long time ago, but I so enjoy watching them now. You are such good parents, always taking time to enjoy your family. That's important. She began to both smile and tear up as I walked her back to her porch from the end of the driveway.

I realized as I sat this day on my front stoop: I am now Emma. I am now the one pulling those memories from the recesses of my mind, memories I have tucked away. I see them in a different light now, all these years later. Back then, I was tired and heard the bickering over everything. I heard the I'm hot, and I'm tired, and I'm bored. I didn't see it like Emma did from the window with the curtain pulled slightly back. But now, as I sit watching from across the street, I see my memories as Emma saw them. I see the good times, I hear the laughter, and I remember days of old differently. Perhaps in the way I should have seen them in the first place.

I wonder 20 years from now what I will see when I draw back the curtain.

Sheila Burke is a married mom of three beautiful and strong young adults. Always a dabbler in putting pen to paper, Burke finally started publishing her books in 2010 with the release of her first book, Zen-Sational Living. Although she freely admits to losing her Zen now and then, this inspirational author is pleased to share her life's journey with her readers, and has done so in the many titles she has released over the years, on her blog, and through social media. To explore her wonderful books, visit her author's page at Amazon. She can be contacted via her website, ZensationalLiving.com, or her popular Facebook page, BeZensational.

This is regarding my sister, who passed away a year ago. She committed suicide because she was depressed about her wedding getting called off twice. When she first died, I had dreams about her; now not so much. I keep wondering if she is happy now or if she is sad about leaving us. How can I know if she has crossed over and is at peace? Relatives have dreamed of her as a bride. Is this just our imagination, or is she showing herself like this because she wanted to get married before she died? I pray for a sign from her. Is she not coming back and talking to family because she feels guilty? Are souls who commit suicide punished? I wish I could talk to her; I would probably ask her to stay with our family forever. When I talk to her picture, I feel she is talking to me like when she was alive. I am not sure if this is really her talking to me in my mind or if I'm just imagining it. I know these are a lot of questions, but please help: you guys are the only ones helping us to solve these mysteries.

M.

Susyn:

Losing a loved one is always difficult, but it's especially so when they take their own lives. Often their spirits come to us through dreams or signs, which offer confirmation that they have made it to the other side. Though there may appear to be lapses between the times we can sense their presence, they are always near.

I am sure that your sister is sad about leaving you, but I do feel that she has made peace with what happened and is now happy. The burdens and disappointments of her recent life were simply too much to bear. Now that she is in the spirit world, she has more awareness of why things turned out the way they did.

Your sister comes dressed as a bride to identify herself and perhaps to communicate the reason she felt she could no longer stay on the earth plane. Her perception of life and of being married has changed because things are different where she is now. I feel that she hopes that appearing in a bridal gown will let you all know that she is finally at peace.

It can be difficult for a spirit to make their presence known if the people they are visiting are too wrapped up in their own emotions and grief. Though you may not be aware of them, your sister sends many signs to you and your family. When we search for signs or look too hard, we can miss the obvious. You may be feeling guilty about not being able to stop her from taking her own life. She does not want anyone to blame themselves, as this was her choice.

When you talk to your sister's picture, I'm sure she can hear you. The conversations you two have are very real even though the messages are exchanged mentally instead of physically. You can trust what you hear and believe what she says.

I encourage you to watch for other signs that your sister is around. Perhaps a favorite song of hers will come on the radio, someone will use phrases specific to her, or you will smell scents that remind you of her. When this happens, she may be trying to send you a sign to pull out her picture so you can have a telepathic chat.

Souls who commit suicide are not punished, nor are they blocked from reaching out to connect with their loved ones. There is a difference between suicides and those who die natural deaths, however: much to their surprise, suicides still have to find spiritual ways to work out the issues that caused them to give up on life.

Please know that your sister is happy and doing well, and is never far from you and your family. Even though she may not visit in your dreams anymore, you can still call on her whenever you like, and emotionally connect with her much as you did when she was still in the land of the living.

*****

Oceania:

I'm so sorry for your loss. I encourage you to seek support through individual counseling, a bereavement group, or an online community like pos-ffos.com. As you dig deeper into this healing process, you may discover that your questions are intellectual exercises that are keeping you from grieving. You may believe you'd feel better if you knew all the answers, but we often have to live with not knowing some things, for not all questions can be answered.

What WILL make you feel better is grieving: acknowledging and expressing all of your feelings, even the irrational ones. Feelings aren't right or wrong - they just are. You may feel guilty because you're wondering if you could have helped your sister, or find it hard to enjoy YOUR life when she chose to end hers. I'm sure you also feel sad and mad. You may understand that her act was not personal, but it's still normal to feel like she gave up and abandoned you.

Most of us survive life's disappointments. Those who turn to suicide have usually been struggling with mental illness for some time, and have rigid, unrealistic beliefs. To endure life's unexpected twists, we must remain flexible and humble while keeping our sense of self strong and our self-worth intact. As is often said, life is what happens when you're busy making other plans!

I don't believe anyone is punished for committing suicide. I'm confident your sister is at peace and is receiving the healing and wisdom she needs to move forward. I know she wants the best for you as you continue your earthly journey. I also believe she IS communicating with you as you speak to her picture, so tell her everything you're feeling and listen for her replies. She has found compassion and forgiveness for herself, so while she's not in a place of feeling guilty, she is sorry for the pain she caused you and others.

I drew a tarot card to represent each of you. For you, it's IX, The Hermit, a card about individual strength and walking a path of integrity. For her, it's XIV, Art, which follows the Death card! The meaning of this is rebirth and creating something new from the old. I asked her if there was a message she wished to give you, and drew the 10 of Cups, Passion! It is the most vibrant card in my deck, full of huge tropical flowers bursting into red, orange, yellow and purple blossoms.

There is a golden winged Lion in the center of the card. I don't know if either of you is a Leo, but Leo's message is surely to live large and let your light shine. More than any other card in the deck, this one is about being open to receiving life's gifts, which I think is a lovely message from her to you!

Astrea:

Many times in life we hear, "You will always have what you NEED, but not necessarily what you WANT." Your spirit must have needed to experience the feeling of leaving your human body, and the suggestion in the next chapter of Sylvia Brown's book was all it took to get you there.

Even though you hadn't read it yet, your SOUL recognized the title of that chapter as something it had been seeking, and your soul, knowing that you had that reference to read after your experience, got with it and out you went!

While I don't usually recommend her books, Sylvia Brown has a wide reaching and powerful effect on lots of people. A Gemini like you would be able to relate easily to her writing and put it to good use. Synchronicity - you gotta love it!

I like your description of "getting caught." That's exactly what it feels like, isn't it? One minute you're free and hovering above the room, and the next minute, ZAP! back down into your corporeal form you go!

As a little kid, I loved that "feeling of return." With practice, most of the time we can control that event, but sometimes, when our physical ears hear a distracting noise or something else occurs to knock us back into reality, back we go. With practice you will be able to control your return better.

I find it interesting that you were visiting your mother-in-law and not someone in your own genetic family. Evidently, you and your husband got married for reasons that are even deeper than love. His family's interest in "psychic stuff" will nurture your children in such matters and help them to grow into their own abilities.

You'll never have to be concerned that when your daughter visits them, she'll be discouraged from exploring her own psychic life and power. My parents encouraged me to develop my psychic senses in a time when it wasn't nice to even discuss such things in public. Heck, it's STILL not considered a great topic at the dinner table in some families!

Your kids will get to talk about it ALL and ask questions and read and study. This is going to give them such an edge in life! Talk with your husband about how you want to present this to your kiddos, so that you are united in your approach and ready to tell them their experiences are all natural and okay.

A word or two of warning: Geminis often have difficulty staying grounded in REAL LIFE. Don't get so strung out on your ASTRAL life that you neglect what you're doing here on Earth.

You are at the beginning of a long journey to learn where your power really lies. Try to be patient with this process and take your time.