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4 Secret Strengths of Sensitivity, by Kyra Mesich

(Article originally published in The Llewellyn Journal.)

Sensitive people have gotten a bum rap. We live in a world that doesn't embrace the values of sensitivity, so we get told that we are weak, unusual, touchy, and hard to please. The sad truth is that we hear these messages in many ways throughout our lives. Even if it is from a well-meaning teacher or parent who tries to "toughen us up," the crux of these messages is that there is something wrong with being sensitive.

When we hear these messages over and over through our lives, we can't help but internalize them as our own identity. Therefore, most sensitive people truly do believe that there is something wrong with them and that they are at fault for being "too sensitive."

It's no wonder then that sensitive people don't know how to respond when someone derails a discussion or argument by saying, "You're just being too sensitive." How can we have a rebuttal to that statement, when a part of us believes it is true? Deep down inside, most sensitive people believe that their sensitivity is a weakness, and they dislike being that way. It's an inequitable way to live to not appreciate or even like an important part of ourselves, especially when the ideas are based in misunderstanding.

Would you believe it if I told you that your sensitivity is actually composed of many different strengths? Here are four of the secret strengths of sensitivity.

1. You're Highly Perceptive.
   Think for a moment about the word "sensitive." How does that word make you feel? What associations do you have with the word? Now think about the word "perceptive." How does that word make you feel? For most people, the word "sensitive" is an emotionally laden word with some negative connotations. On the other hand, the word "perceptive" is neutral. So what would happen if you replaced the word sensitive and started defining and describing yourself instead as highly perceptive? Feel the shift that happens?This is not to say that "sensitive" is a negative word. It's an emotionally charged word due to our past experiences. It's freeing to take a little time off from that misunderstood term. "Perceptive" is a synonym that still has its pure, straightforward meaning: having keen awareness, understanding, and intuition.

   So the next time you begin to think to yourself, "I wish I wasn't so sensitive," stop and instead say, "I wish I wasn't so perceptive." You'll find yourself replying, "Why would I do that? Being perceptive is a good thing!"

2. Your Brain is More Active.
   According to studies by Doctors Elaine and Arthur Aron and colleagues at Stony Brook University, the brains of sensitive people brains have higher activity in response to stimuli. In one particular study, participants' brain activity was monitored by functional magnetic resonance imaging while viewing a series of photos of people exhibiting varied emotions. The participants identified as highly sensitive had much greater blood flow in their brains than the other participants, indicating higher brain activity. Similar results have been demonstrated with other stimuli as well. What this means is that the physiology of sensitive people physiology is indeed more active and responsive.Sensitivity isn't solely an emotional or mental experience; our entire physiology is wired to react swiftly, keenly, and thoroughly to stimuli. This is the reason we sometimes perceive things that others don't seem to notice. This is an explanation for why we may feel bombarded by loud or discordant stimuli. Our bodies are doing more work to perceive accurately and keenly. In other words, we are more finely tuned instruments.
3. You Have Great Intuition.
   Intuition is that gut feeling or still, small voice within that we can trust to know the best course of action. Our intuition is our inner guidance system that helps things run much more smoothly in our lives, as long as we listen to it. As a sensitive person, you already have very strong intuition. The problem is that most of us were never taught to value it nor how to listen to it. We're taught to dismiss it.Our society praises actions that are taken after much analysis and thought. It's generally not accepted that someone may be sensitive enough to perceive subtle information from multiple sources beyond the thoughts in the mind and then just "know" what to do. That is a big part of what makes our sensitivity so baffling, yet makes it a huge strength. We are sensitive not only to what we can easily see and understand, but also to that which is extrasensory—just beyond what our five physical senses can perceive. This includes things such as EMF, radiation, magnetic fields, and many additional energies from devices, nature, animals, and people.

   Our sensitive intuition picks up on all this extrasensory information, compiles it, and does its best to tell us what we need to know. Since it is already working all the time, practice listening to your intuition and try following it, even for simple things like what time to choose for an appointment. Many people are better able to sense their intuition when they tune into their bodies, especially the solar plexus area, rather than focusing all attention up in their heads. Give yourself permission to listen to your gut feelings and instincts for a while, and you'll find your intuition is a fabulous resource and strength you naturally have as a sensitive person.

4. You're Empathic.
   People use the word "empathic" to mean compassionate understanding of another person's emotional situation. But the term "empathic" has an even deeper meaning for sensitive people. This is an extension of the discussion about intuition in number two. Empathic ability can be viewed as a specific type of intuition, or extrasensory awareness.Empathic ability is the experience of sensing and feeling emotional energy, even if it hasn't been openly communicated in any way. This emotional energy may be lingering in a place, or it may come from animals or pets, but it impacts us most strongly when it is from other people. This is one of the confusing aspects of sensitivity that we often define as painful or as a weakness. When we don't realize we are empathic, then the emotions we sense from others become jumbled up with our own.

   But when we do know that empathic ability exists, and that as sensitive people we are empathic, then we can begin to discern the energy we are sensing. As we learn to use and appreciate our empathic abilities, eventually we are able to use that emotional information just like our intuition—as useful information that benefits us.

   Wondering if you can trust your new babysitter? Is your boss in the right mood today to ask for that raise? Will you get along with the neighbors at the new apartment you are considering? These are questions your empathic sensitivity can answer. It adds another layer of information to your intuition. It's like having a psychic feeling superpower.

   Just as with intuition, it works best to tune into your empathic ability by bringing your awareness to the solar plexus area of your body, between your chest and belly. Ask a question, and then trust the immediate feeling that comes to you. It takes practice and sometimes healing of old wounds or blockages so that you can clearly perceive what your empathic sensitivity is trying to tell you. But you can get there.

Wouldn't you agree that it's time for these strengths of sensitivity to no longer be secrets? The idea that sensitivity is a weakness really is backwards. Sensitivity is a great example of "the whole is greater than the sum of the parts." Our keen perception, strong physiological responsiveness, and compassionate nature give us the ability to hear more, feel more, and sense more, even beyond the limitations of our five physical senses.

It's time for us to recognize these strengths and begin respecting ourselves as sensitive people. So the next time someone says, "You're being too sensitive," you can honestly reply, "Thank you. What a nice compliment."

Article originally published in The Llewellyn Journal. Copyright Llewellyn Worldwide, 2016. All rights reserved.

My former lover and I were both born in 1987. He committed suicide in May of last year because of his lover betraying him. A few days ago, he appeared in my dream, saying that he'll come back to me but in another body. Is it possible to reunite with a past lover by having him walk into the body of someone who is ready to leave this world, and take that body over? (This would of course happen with the permission of the soul that is leaving the body.) I will be waiting for your reply!

V.

Susyn:

What your former lover proposes in your dream is an interesting idea, but I do not believe it to be probable. It is very rare that a spirit exiting the body will give another spirit permission to enter it, so while I suppose it's possible, it's highly unlikely.

There are spirits who will take over another's body without their permission. These entities are often referred to as discarnates; they are ghosts who have left their earthly bodies through death and refuse to move into the light. You would not want him to return under these circumstances, as he would have to steal someone else's body to do so!

Your former lover was involved with someone else when he took his own life, so it seems a bit strange that he would commit to come back to you. Suicide victims often become earthbound either because they really did not mean to kill themselves or were emotionally distraught when they did so, which certainly seems to be the case here.

Sometimes it is hard for us to accept that a loved one has passed no matter what the circumstances of their death might have been. We try hard to imagine a way around death, but of course, there isn't one. Even if this dream was an actual visitation from your former lover and his intentions were good, he may have promised you he would do something he can't actually do. I would take this dream as a sign that he is able to connect with you from the spirit world, but I would not expect him to return to you in a different body.

Watch for more signs from your former lover. Because he was able to reach out to you in his dreams, he may also try to connect with you by other means. Spirits can make clocks stop or start, turn television channels, knock things over and evoke memories through objects, songs or animals that bring them to mind. Given the way your former lover's life ended, his emotional energy field is still disturbed. I recommend that you pray for peace and acceptance for him, and send him positive thoughts and affirmations.

If you receive any more messages that imply he is trying to return to you, you may want to contact a psychic channeler to get to the heart of the matter. You'll want someone who is able to receive clear messages and help you communicate directly with your ex-lover. Your psychic may also feel that your lover needs to be directed towards the light so he can complete his journey in the spirit world, in which case the psychic should be able to help him move forward to his next big adventure.

*****

Oceania:

Your proposition reminds me of the film Meet Joe Black. When the angel of death yearns to experience life as a human being, he takes over the body of someone who has just died in a traffic accident. (I think Brad Pitt does a great job of portraying two different souls in the same body.) While anything is possible in this universe of endless possibilities, the most likely explanation for your dream is that you're still grieving for your ex and have now entered the bargaining stage, where wish-fulfillment dreams are quite common.

During bargaining, we manufacture scenarios that will magically undo our loss. Some are really far-fetched. For example, maybe our loved one had to escape from some bad guys, so they cleverly faked their own death and will return as soon as it's safe to do so. The reason we love such stories despite their unlikely themes is because they satisfy the bargainer in us. Soap operas are rife with tales of presumed-dead loved ones who return in miraculous manners.

In both Cast Away (a film starring Tom Hanks from the year 2000) and Pericles (a play written by Shakespeare around 1608,) a spouse is presumed dead at sea but actually washes ashore and stays alive for years until fate reunites them with their loved ones. In an equally unlikely scenario, you have conjured up the notion that your ex will return by borrowing a body from someone who has just died.

I think it would help your healing process to remember that we tend to idealize our exes. We feel the bittersweet pain of missing their good qualities and delightful quirks, while we sweep their character defects right under the rug. The fact is that you and your ex broke up for a reason. He moved on to someone else, and when that lover betrayed him, he did not return to you. All of this suggests the two of you were no more compatible than he and his most recent lover turned out to be.

Your ex committed suicide, which means he likely suffered from a mood disorder like bipolar disease or clinical depression. Those who suffer from these serious, challenging mental illnesses do not typically make good partners unless they are firmly committed to treatment that helps keep them stable.

Dwelling on reconciliation with your ex is a canny way for you to play it safe and avoid loving and losing again. You might chat with me here or meet with a live counselor to process your grief; by doing so, you'll come to know that you are equipped to endure and heal from this painful loss.

Astrea:

Many times in life we hear, "You will always have what you NEED, but not necessarily what you WANT." Your spirit must have needed to experience the feeling of leaving your human body, and the suggestion in the next chapter of Sylvia Brown's book was all it took to get you there.

Even though you hadn't read it yet, your SOUL recognized the title of that chapter as something it had been seeking, and your soul, knowing that you had that reference to read after your experience, got with it and out you went!

While I don't usually recommend her books, Sylvia Brown has a wide reaching and powerful effect on lots of people. A Gemini like you would be able to relate easily to her writing and put it to good use. Synchronicity - you gotta love it!

I like your description of "getting caught." That's exactly what it feels like, isn't it? One minute you're free and hovering above the room, and the next minute, ZAP! back down into your corporeal form you go!

As a little kid, I loved that "feeling of return." With practice, most of the time we can control that event, but sometimes, when our physical ears hear a distracting noise or something else occurs to knock us back into reality, back we go. With practice you will be able to control your return better.

I find it interesting that you were visiting your mother-in-law and not someone in your own genetic family. Evidently, you and your husband got married for reasons that are even deeper than love. His family's interest in "psychic stuff" will nurture your children in such matters and help them to grow into their own abilities.

You'll never have to be concerned that when your daughter visits them, she'll be discouraged from exploring her own psychic life and power. My parents encouraged me to develop my psychic senses in a time when it wasn't nice to even discuss such things in public. Heck, it's STILL not considered a great topic at the dinner table in some families!

Your kids will get to talk about it ALL and ask questions and read and study. This is going to give them such an edge in life! Talk with your husband about how you want to present this to your kiddos, so that you are united in your approach and ready to tell them their experiences are all natural and okay.

A word or two of warning: Geminis often have difficulty staying grounded in REAL LIFE. Don't get so strung out on your ASTRAL life that you neglect what you're doing here on Earth.

You are at the beginning of a long journey to learn where your power really lies. Try to be patient with this process and take your time.