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Bringing Your Own Permission

An Excerpt from Permission Granted by Regina Louise

Recently, while in quarantine, and on a day when I can admit I was close to being bored in the house, I decided to circle back around and give the show The Good Fight some attention. I dug Christine Baranski in The Good Wife and thought, Why not? And between you and me, I still had it bad for Chris Noth from when he played the role of Mr. Big in Sex and the City. Shut up, right? I know, I know. I know he was not always so gentlemanly with our girl Carrie Bradshaw, but damn, those eyes, that height, the size of those hands. I digress. Back to my new favorite series. Okay, so I immediately fell in love with all the kick-ass chicks on The Good Fight. Tell me, who names their daughter Cush Jumbo without expecting her to stop the world in its tracks? Cush’s mama or whoever named her had no qualms about expressing their originality and setting her up to either go big or go home whenever she heard her named called. I’m just saying. Whether or not they intended to, they gave that child something to courageously grow into. And when Cush’s character, Lucca Quinn, walks into the room, the molecules change, baby. Without her saying a word, you already know that she is here for it, kicking that ass and taking their names. Talk about bringing permission to be who you are, everywhere you go. Talk about inspiring. Talk to the hand, all you common-names folks, ’cause Cush Jumbo is in the house! Granting yourself permission by bringing your own permission is powerful and courageous, allowing you to hack uncertainty by inviting what’s unknown to become known. And if you didn’t know before, now you know that I love the power of originality in names. Okay, let’s move on.

BYOP
I’d like you to consider how not only to be your own permission but also to bring it. As that old-school saying by the Buffalo Soldiers goes, “You have to bring ass to get some ass.” To win anything, you must be willing to fight for it. Therefore, you have to bring your own permission in order to get permission to get the job of being you done! Here’s another way to consider this strategy. You know how when you’re invited to a party, a cookout, a tailgating shindig, and the invite reads “BYOB,” as in bring your own beer, bottle, bae, booty, and whatever else begins with B that you’d want to tote to the party in order to have that turnt-up time you were hoping to have? Well, here, I invite you to BYOP, and yes, you guessed it, as in Bring Your Own Permission everywhere you go. Remember that fly old-school slogan from American Express Travelers Checks back in the day? There he was, Karl Malden, all earnest sounding with that voice of his commanding us: “Don’t leave home without it.” This strategy invites you to establish your relationship with and to grow your definition of bringing your own:

Permission
Power
Prettiness
Passion
Purpose
Preemptive moves

Can you imagine the impact of taking all of you everywhere you go? Bringing your own permission every time you go to the office, on a luncheon date, to the grocery store, to the gym, and all the other places you’d likely venture to on any given day ensures that you are putting yourself in the position to have agency and power at the ready. You might think of bringing your permission with you the way you would that favorite shade of Fenty lipstick you’d slide into your evening bag for that touch-up you’re likely to need at some point after dinner, drinks, and oh, yes, that passionate kiss you were holding out for. Perhaps you’ll write yourself a permission slip to remind yourself that you’re pretty enough and powerful enough, that whatever name your mama or whoever gave you is perfect just the way it is. You can place your permission slip in that same handbag and have it at your fingertips in case you need a reminder of just how close your self-approval is at any moment. To have access to your own permission is all a part of having a voice, having your say.

Regina Louise is the author of Permission Granted. Her bestselling memoirs Somebody’s Someone and Someone Has Led This Child to Believe were made into the award-winning Lifetime movie I Am Somebody’s Child: The Regina Louise Story, which was nominated for a 2020 NAACP Award for Best Director. Visit her online at http://www.IamReginaLouise.com.

Excerpted from the book Permission Granted. Copyright ©2021 by Regina Louise. Printed with permission from New World Library .

Do you think it's possible that I am cursed? Over the past 12 months, I have had nothing but bad luck. Anything and everything that could go wrong has done. No matter how hard I try or how much I focus on raising my energy and staying positive, life just seems to keep throwing obstacles and problems my way. I am starting to reach my limit with all of this, and am wondering if perhaps I have been cursed by someone. If that's possible, what can I do to break the curse and change my luck?

Karen

Susyn:

As I see it, your run of bad luck could be caused by one of three things.

1) While you didn't mention your birthday, there are a few astrological cycles that last a year or more that can create a sense of frustration. 2) You may actually have been cursed by another person. 3) There is a negative or discarnate spirit attached to you. No matter what is behind this bad luck, there are things you can do to change it.

Let's start with one of the most common reasons people experience times of great challenge: astrological influences. There are certain times in our lives when the planets align to teach us important lessons. These periods are designed to get our attention and move us to a greater level of spirituality. Even though the obstacles you are facing may seem unrelated, the fact that they have been constant for more than a year suggest that you may be in one of these growing phases.

Around the age of 27 and again at about 57, we all experience something called a Saturn return. This varies from individual to individual and typically lasts one to two years. At these pivotal junctures, our worlds can be turned upside down or seem to be plagued by bad luck. Whether you are near the age of a Saturn return or not, having an astrological reading can enlighten you as to why certain things are occurring, what planetary cycles could be contributing to your run of bad luck, and when it will end. Keep in mind that once an astrological phase of this nature is complete, wonderful new gifts will come your way.

As I mentioned, you could also be dealing with a negative entity or curse. The methods for ridding yourself of these are quite similar. If you feel a particular person has deliberately placed a curse on you, it's time to freeze them. Details for this free ritual are available here. You can also use this method to rid yourself of negative spirits or discarnates by sincerely praying, I ask Spirit to freeze all negative energies and entities that are causing me trouble.

Next, cleanse your surroundings with a clove ritual to eliminate any energetic lint left behind from the curse or discarnate spirit. This will help align your chakras and energy and promote a return to spiritual balance. Fill a large saucepan with four cups of water and a handful of whole cloves. Bring the water to a boil, lower the heat, and simmer for one or more hours, adding water as needed to maintain its level.

This clove ritual will permeate your home with a scent that repels negative energy and promotes protection and spiritual balance.

*****

Oceania:

Honestly, if I made the effort, I could make a long list of bad things that have happened to me in the past year, but I choose not to approach life that way. When the going gets rough, I take the stance of a boxer: I bob and weave and say, Bring it on, life! I know you're gonna hurt me, knock me down, and even kill me in the end, but you also shower me with wonders and delights, so I'm choosing to stay in the ring.

I'm not here to discount your feelings or minimize what has happened; in fact, I'd be the first to offer you comfort and support. I assure you that we can take whatever life dishes out if we are willing to express our emotions, so I hope you will seek counseling either with me or another professional.

Please think back to the first major incident in your string of losses, because the first is often the one that needs attention. Rather than deal with a traumatic loss, we'll often go on the lookout, hone in on every negative turn, and get distracted by the pattern. It's one thing after another! It is possible that everything following your initial loss was an emotional aftershock.

While pain is unavoidable, suffering requires the cooperation of our thoughts. You can view Byron Katie on Youtube as she challenges the thoughts of her clients using a technique she calls The Work. Her approach helps people reduce suffering under even the most dire circumstances.

She believes that fighting reality by opposing what is creates a war zone in our minds; only when we end the war by accepting what is do we create peace in our minds and our lives. She's not the first to promote this notion. Epictetus, a philosopher of the Stoic movement in ancient Greece, wrote that we are not really disturbed by events, but rather by the view we take of them. Centuries later, Shakespeare's character Hamlet said, There is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so.

Psychologist Albert Ellis based his school of therapy (REBT) on that principle. He helped people question the thoughts underlying their distressing emotions and change those emotions by changing their thoughts. Earlier, I advocated expressing emotions, which is like a tea kettle blowing off steam. The approaches of Ellis and Katie involve turning the flame down beneath the kettle.

We often declare things to be bad before seeing the bigger picture. The passage of time reveals how unexpected good can spring from tragedy. I encourage you to trust that good will come, and relax into the possibility that you're abundantly blessed rather than cursed.

Astrea:

Many times in life we hear, "You will always have what you NEED, but not necessarily what you WANT." Your spirit must have needed to experience the feeling of leaving your human body, and the suggestion in the next chapter of Sylvia Brown's book was all it took to get you there.

Even though you hadn't read it yet, your SOUL recognized the title of that chapter as something it had been seeking, and your soul, knowing that you had that reference to read after your experience, got with it and out you went!

While I don't usually recommend her books, Sylvia Brown has a wide reaching and powerful effect on lots of people. A Gemini like you would be able to relate easily to her writing and put it to good use. Synchronicity - you gotta love it!

I like your description of "getting caught." That's exactly what it feels like, isn't it? One minute you're free and hovering above the room, and the next minute, ZAP! back down into your corporeal form you go!

As a little kid, I loved that "feeling of return." With practice, most of the time we can control that event, but sometimes, when our physical ears hear a distracting noise or something else occurs to knock us back into reality, back we go. With practice you will be able to control your return better.

I find it interesting that you were visiting your mother-in-law and not someone in your own genetic family. Evidently, you and your husband got married for reasons that are even deeper than love. His family's interest in "psychic stuff" will nurture your children in such matters and help them to grow into their own abilities.

You'll never have to be concerned that when your daughter visits them, she'll be discouraged from exploring her own psychic life and power. My parents encouraged me to develop my psychic senses in a time when it wasn't nice to even discuss such things in public. Heck, it's STILL not considered a great topic at the dinner table in some families!

Your kids will get to talk about it ALL and ask questions and read and study. This is going to give them such an edge in life! Talk with your husband about how you want to present this to your kiddos, so that you are united in your approach and ready to tell them their experiences are all natural and okay.

A word or two of warning: Geminis often have difficulty staying grounded in REAL LIFE. Don't get so strung out on your ASTRAL life that you neglect what you're doing here on Earth.

You are at the beginning of a long journey to learn where your power really lies. Try to be patient with this process and take your time.