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Self-Care Inspired by the Wheel of the Year, by Tiffany Lazic

(Article originally published in The Llewellyn Journal.)

In times of confusion, challenge, and crisis the encouragement to pay attention to one's own self-care is often heard coming from many quarters. And yet, these are the very times when, with so much of upheaval and disequilibrium all around, even the smallest act of self-nurturing can begin to feel overwhelming. Instead of reaping the positive benefits of caring for yourself, it can feel like a herculean task to focus on the step in front of you. In part, this can be due to the sheer volume of information out there. It comes through the television, the phone, well-meaning friends. Much of it is great information, but at times it can feel like a tsunami. Unfortunately, with so much guidance around what to do or what not to do, the overload of information can end up contributing to the very thing you are trying to address and resolve. Rather than bring ease to the soul in trying times, comfort to the heart in painful circumstances, and the strength to continue in the face of obstacle after obstacle, there is a risk of feeling inadequate or badgered by all the "shoulds" or "coulds." What would have been a solid foundation of self-care support instead, with the strident "Inner Critic" chastisement of inadequacy and "not good enough," becomes even more confusion, challenge, and possibly crisis.

Of course, it is important to have a baseline of self-care. For example, good nutrition can only ever be a force for good in your life. It is not the self-care that provides the challenge. It is the possibility of losing the value of positive reflection and suggestion in the raucous cacophony of ceaseless external advice-giving. It is the potential to lose connection with the innate wisdom we carry within. Wisdom that is tied to nature—both our own inner innate nature and our connection to the greater experience of Nature around us. If you ever come to a place of losing your way, of feeling like all the self-care threads that come from so many well-meaning—or sometimes not-so-well-meaning—places are threatening to truss you up, take a breath and look to the seasons. Find the wisdom in Nature that is echoed in the very bones that support you, the blood the flows through you, and the Spirit that animates you.

Self-Care Inspired by the Wheel of the Year:
Yule: Care for yourself as diligently and conscientiously as you would a precious newborn. If you are hungry, eat basic, nutritious foods. If you are tired, sleep (even if that is sneaking in a wee nap mid-day or five minutes of "resting your eyes"). Yule aligns with the Root Chakra. If there is no energy sourcing the Root, then everything else will languish. You cannot be healthy in the mind if the body is perennially depleted. You cannot meet a challenge if you "power down" mid-meet. Tune your ear to the inner call and when the body cries out, let it know that you are there. There is a beautiful self-validation that comes from attuning to the inner dialogue. Listen to your body's very basic needs.

Imbolc: Allow the freeze to melt into flow. Give your feelings full voice. This does not necessarily mean telling everyone around you what is going on for you—there is time enough for appropriate and respectful sharing and disclosure—but it does mean being absolutely, transparently honest with yourself. There will definitely be emotions that are not the most comfortable to experience: emotions that come uncomfortably close to touching shame, or ones that feel so big they seem insurmountable. That's okay. Nothing need be done with these emotions right away. You may find that you do need to express the discomfiting contents of your emotional reflection to a friend or partner. Or you may have a sense that that is not necessary. That decision may still be in the future, needing to still be determined. But unquestionably and unequivocally, you need to acknowledge those emotions to yourself. Allow your feelings to tell you how you are experiencing the world, or relationships, or situations. Allow your feelings to be the entryway into a deeper relationship with yourself. Listen to your emotions without judgement.

Ostara: Set boundaries. All equinox times bring polarities into sharp relief. Though it is important to learn how to set boundaries with others—to know the delineation between your wants, needs, and experiences and someone else's wants, needs, and experiences—it is often even more important to set internal boundaries: to differentiate between the inner critical voice and the inner supportive voice. When you take the time to slow down and listen to your thoughts, you will quickly recognize the way in which you talk to yourself. And there is nothing more important than having a kind and encouraging—if, at times, prompting and challenging—voice on your side. Leave that which is cold and hard in the dark. Listen to that which is light, and gentle, and supportive. This is the path to healthy self-esteem, self-regard, and self-respect. Set internal boundaries allowing only kind support be the voice which directs you.

Beltane: Find where your passion lives. There is much about life that can be rote or responsibility. There are many things that need to be done, especially to ensure a stable, healthy foundation. Those things do need to be acknowledged and respected. But life is so much more than that. The quinoa may nourish the body, but it is the edible wildflower garnish that makes the heart sing. Beltane aligns with the Heart Chakra and invites us to find the ways in which we dance our lives. If you do not know the thing you would love to do whether anyone saw it or not, whether anyone liked it or not, whether it served any purpose or not, find it! Very often it lies in our child heart that we think lies in the dark recesses of the past. The part of us that experienced life unselfconsciously and perhaps even a bit freely. We know we have found our passion when the heart feels a bit lighter and a bit more expanded. Whatever it is, it may not speak to others or it may be that others cannot even see what it is about this thing that speaks to us so, but that is okay. It only need speak to your heart. Find the thing that not only inspires you but brings the energy of joy to many parts of your life.

Litha: Acknowledge your talents. Lying across the Wheel from Yule, Litha carries similar energies but experienced in a slightly different way. Much as you would care for your physical self as Yule guides you to do, Litha invites you to care for your non-physical self. In other words, your ego: that hardworking vessel that is the container for the Soul that is journeying through this life. When the ego is coming from positive self-esteem, self-regard, self-respect—not the dark of shame, inadequacy, and insecurity—it allows you to celebrate your accomplishments with confidence. The Summer sun invites you to shine brightly and to shine that light on all that you have done or accomplished. This does not have to be grand or monumental. This is not about amplifying grandiosity. It is about honoring your own particular contribution as significant. The ability to make someone smile. To bake an amazing cookie. To give generously of your time to a cause. Find and claim the ability that is your special contribution to the world.

Lughnasadh: See challenging experiences as containing valuable information. The first of the harvest festivals offers the opportunity for you to assess what has worked in your approach—over the past days, weeks, months, or even years—and what did not. There are going to be those situations that did not pan out the way you had hoped, those relationships that took a turn in a different way than expected, dreams that withered on the vine. Once again, as long as you are able to come at those experiences from a place of self-esteem, self-regard, and self-respect, they hold important information about you, about your needs and expectations, about your areas of strength and those areas that could benefit from some attention and growth. Celebrate successes and glean the nuggets of wisdom from the disappointments.

Mabon: Learn to let go. Perhaps the greater part of harvesting is knowing what not to pick. It is wasted effort to try to get every single apple, beet, or carrot, especially if they are mealy, wormy, or rotten. Everything in life operates on this principle. If a belief does not serve your esteem and confidence, leave it in the field. If a friendship is more draining than uplifting despite attempts to address the energy imbalance, it can hang on the tree. If the memory of a past incident has the power to wreck your day, know that it has no more nutrients for you than a rotten carrot and leave it be. When you bring discernment to the activity of harvest, you know the baggage you carry will not drag you down. You will only pick that which has the potential to nourish you. Be confident in letting go of anything that depletes you, rather than energizes you.

Samhain: Embrace the Mystery. Not everything in the dark is scary and threatening. There can be wonders in there as well. One of the biggest challenges can be learning to have faith that things will all be okay in the end. Walking towards your future, even if you are not exactly sure what that might be, or how exactly you are going to get there, can bring up a lot of feelings of trepidation and resistance. We feel far more comfortable in the bright light of day than in the dark. The time of year when the night seems to stretch on endlessly invites you to find peace in the not knowing. Let go of control. Let go of agenda. Allow a moment of surrender to the process of your life's unfolding. Listen to the whisper of Spirit that guides in the stillness of the dark.

Each of the eight spokes on the Wheel of the Year carries its own unique energetic, which has the potential to transmit a message on how to be in balance with the world, how to find equilibrium in the flow of your own process, and how to support the movement of your own self-actualization. We are not separate from Nature. We are a part of Nature. Its wisdom is our wisdom. And the place to turn to seek that wisdom is within. In this age of information when recommendations and suggestions on what you must do can seem like the loudest voice, take a breath and reach for the place within that resonates to all of Nature around you. See the seasons as the remarkable mirror they are, reflecting infinite wisdom in which you may bask. And allow that to serve as the guideline to your self-care, self-support, and self-encouragement. In that reflection, you are always divinely whole and wondrously unique.

Article originally published in The Llewellyn Journal. Copyright Llewellyn Worldwide, 2021. All rights reserved.

I keep having recurring dreams of a boy who was in my middle school class 18 years ago. When we were classmates, I had a crush on him. I saw him a few times before I left home, and ever since then, I've had recurring dreams of him. In my dreams we are a couple. Recently, I was deployed to Iraq, and I happened to bump in to him! I thought I was dreaming! I got back from Iraq a month ago, and I haven't had any dreams about him since. What does this all mean?

Astrea:

First I'll offer the most reasonable explanation for you two running into each other in Iraq: Since you grew up in the same place and have the same backgrounds, you're very similar, so it would make sense that you might both decide to serve your country via the military.

Something in your early experiences planted that seed for both of you, and coming from the same generation gives you similar views on things. Your choice of career was no doubt directly and powerfully influenced by experiences you both had growing up.

In my view, the metaphysical explanation makes just as much sense as the rational one; in fact, I feel the reason for all of this is more spiritual than mundane.

The two of you have known each other many times in many different lives and situations. Long ago, you were soldiers together in some far off places. You certainly share a bond that goes way beyond this lifetime.

Since you've done this together before, it was natural for you to choose to do it again this time around. Even without knowing that this person was part of your Ka-Tet or Karmic family, you found each other again.

An event like this happens to reinforce your own beliefs about reincarnation and other spiritual truths. You can use this gift to better tune in to the others around you. For reasons known only to the Universe and your guides, your Karmic family is working very hard to reunite.

Soon there will be other people coming into your life. Some you know from this incarnation and others from past lives. Some people will be all new to you, and some you'll recognize on a soul level as familiar in some way.

While I know it seems highly unlikely that you would meet someone you knew so long ago halfway around the world, it does happen, for the Universe has a way of putting people into our paths when and where we least expect to see them.

Your own experience illustrates that it doesn't matter how far away your Karmic family strays, you are still going to be naturally brought together from time to time no matter where you are and what you are doing. Learn from this great experience and allow it to reinforce your awareness of the enduring nature of Karmic relationships.

*****

Susyn:

It's fascinating when certain people from our childhood reappear in our lives over and over, and in some of the most unlikely places. Usually these kinds of events are fairly random, but they can serve as reminders that there are special people in our lives to whom we will always be connected on some level.

Since you've known this man since middle school, your dreams and interactions with him could be taking you back to a time when your life was simpler. This in and of itself can influence how you feel about him and your life in general.

It's possible that you shared a past life with this person as well. Your crush on him as a young girl, the dreams you've had, and running into him halfway across the world suggest a past life in which you were a couple or perhaps a lifetime when the two of you fought in battle together.

It's interesting to note that most people reincarnate in the same groups, so they are surrounded by people with whom they have shared many lifetimes. This is one of the reasons we tend to be attracted to certain people and repelled by others for no apparent reason.

There is a good possibility that you two will cross paths again when the time is right, as it appears that the connection between the two of you is very karmic. Sometime in the near future, you may start having dreams about him again, hear news about him through a friend, or accidentally cross paths with him in some out of the way place.

If this is a soul mate connection and the two of you are destined to be together, it will happen naturally when the time is right, with no effort on your part. Many couples cross paths for years before they finally make a lasting connection.

To discover more, the first place to start would be with a past life reading. If you'd like to explore this connection with me in depth via a private reading, you can email or watch for me on line at here at Kajama.

Once we've reviewed your past life connection, we can take a look at what might lay ahead for you romantically, and whether this man will play an important role in your future. In the mean time, give thanks that you have such a wonderful, mysterious, fascinating connection to this man.

Astrea:

Many times in life we hear, "You will always have what you NEED, but not necessarily what you WANT." Your spirit must have needed to experience the feeling of leaving your human body, and the suggestion in the next chapter of Sylvia Brown's book was all it took to get you there.

Even though you hadn't read it yet, your SOUL recognized the title of that chapter as something it had been seeking, and your soul, knowing that you had that reference to read after your experience, got with it and out you went!

While I don't usually recommend her books, Sylvia Brown has a wide reaching and powerful effect on lots of people. A Gemini like you would be able to relate easily to her writing and put it to good use. Synchronicity - you gotta love it!

I like your description of "getting caught." That's exactly what it feels like, isn't it? One minute you're free and hovering above the room, and the next minute, ZAP! back down into your corporeal form you go!

As a little kid, I loved that "feeling of return." With practice, most of the time we can control that event, but sometimes, when our physical ears hear a distracting noise or something else occurs to knock us back into reality, back we go. With practice you will be able to control your return better.

I find it interesting that you were visiting your mother-in-law and not someone in your own genetic family. Evidently, you and your husband got married for reasons that are even deeper than love. His family's interest in "psychic stuff" will nurture your children in such matters and help them to grow into their own abilities.

You'll never have to be concerned that when your daughter visits them, she'll be discouraged from exploring her own psychic life and power. My parents encouraged me to develop my psychic senses in a time when it wasn't nice to even discuss such things in public. Heck, it's STILL not considered a great topic at the dinner table in some families!

Your kids will get to talk about it ALL and ask questions and read and study. This is going to give them such an edge in life! Talk with your husband about how you want to present this to your kiddos, so that you are united in your approach and ready to tell them their experiences are all natural and okay.

A word or two of warning: Geminis often have difficulty staying grounded in REAL LIFE. Don't get so strung out on your ASTRAL life that you neglect what you're doing here on Earth.

You are at the beginning of a long journey to learn where your power really lies. Try to be patient with this process and take your time.