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The Secret of Success Without Stress, by Guy Finley

(Article originally published in The Llewellyn Journal.)

Have you ever wondered why success and stress seem to be inseparable companions in our world today?

Success in business means long hours, politics, and the never-ending struggle to achieve. Success in love means constant sacrifice and "working on the relationship." Success in school, art, music, science, and sports means the ever-increasing pressure to perform.

When we take a step back and look at the whole picture, it's hard not to wonder, "Is success today worth the cost?"

Is the fear and anxiety we feel in the present moment worth the promise of some perfect moment to come? If we look objectively at the fruit of our stressful days, and the deteriorating state of the world, we begin to realize that this is not a profitable trade. Compromising ourselves in the Now to insure a positive moment to come is a flawed formula for success.

On the other hand, in those rare moments when we happen upon a pure moment of peace and contentment—a glorious sunrise, holding the hand of the one we love, the clarity of an insight or epiphany—it is obvious that success itself is an integral part of life. It is in these moments that we can hear a faint voice whispering from deep down inside our hearts, telling us that we were born to be successful; and as human beings it is our natural right to strive toward excellence and enjoy the fruits of achievement.

This is the voice of intuition telling us that striving toward success is not supposed to be a drag—it's supposed to be light, bright, happy, and fun!<

It is trying to reveal the beautiful truth that success without stress is possible. The only problem is that we have ceased to listen to its wise counsel because we have been conditioned by society to place our attention on the objects of success, instead of on the principle of success itself. When we realize this simple misdirection that has taken place, we take the first step in learning to attract everything our heart desires.

And that's the main point of this article: It is possible for us to learn to attract success, instead of trying to chase it down though years of toil, disappointment, and heartache!

So how to we do it? How do we learn to attract the success we want instead of letting the desire for the objects of success push us around from problem to problem?

The answer is simple: We begin to doubt what compromises us.

We begin to doubt stress when it tells us we have to rush through our day. We begin to doubt fearful thoughts when they tell us we need to worry. We begin to doubt feelings of greed and inadequacy that bully us around by telling us that who we are isn't enough.

The reason that doubting negative states is a great key along the path to gaining our hearts' true wish is that this action separates our true self—who we really are—from whatever dark thought or feeling happens to be passing through us in the moment. We realize that we don't have to listen to dark thoughts and feelings; instead we understand that there is a choice, whenever we remember it, to not sacrifice happiness now for a future happy time that may never come!

One specific technique you can use to begin doubting these dark states is to ask yourself this question whenever you find yourself trying to overcome any person or situation that stands in the way of winning some imagined future success: "What would happen right now if I were to want what Life wants, instead of wanting what I want?" This may sound like a strange idea at first, because we are so used to trying to get hold of what we want. But, when we begin to experiment with the power contained in this question, we realize that this simple action has the power to raise the level of our entire life!

To understand this more clearly, let's look at what happens When We Want What We Want:

• We are often stressed and unsettled because life may not go the way we want it to
• We are often tired because we spend our energy struggling against the natural flow of events
• We are unable to sit quietly or go to sleep peacefully because our mind is always busy trying to resolve problems that stand in the way of our desires
• We are easily agitated when someone or something interrupts our plans
• We harbor resentment toward those who have "wronged" us in the past
• We lose sight of our true nature, because we mistake what we possess for who we really are

Now let's look at what happens When We Want What Life Wants:

• We are always on the winning side
• We are free from stress, anger, and anxiety
• We maintain confident self-command in any situation
• We are never sad or disappointed because things didn't go our way
• We always know the right thing to do
• We can never be taken advantage of
• We are fluid and responsive to what the moment asks
• We are free to be kind and compassionate, even in the presence of perceived "enemies"
• We are never bored, because we are perfectly happy just being ourself
• Our mind becomes quiet, peaceful, clear, and sharp

Can you see the power in this simple idea? When we invite life—instead of resisting it—we are freed from the stress and negativity that drains the positive energy required to be truly successful. We are given the ability to participate more deeply in the present moment, which allows us to access the higher mental and emotional states required to be more kind, creative, intelligent, and loving human beings…everything our heart truly longs for.

Want what life wants, and harvest the fruits of true and lasting success for yourself.

Article originally published in The Llewellyn Journal. Copyright Llewellyn Worldwide, 2009. All rights reserved.

I'm a happily married woman with two beautiful little girls. I have been married for seven years now, and although on the outside I seem like a very together person, I'm very confused in my mind and heart. A few years before I got married, I met an awesome guy and we quickly fell in love. As we live thousands of miles apart, we've never had a long-term relationship, and we ended up with other people. Ever since we met, however, I dream about him at least weekly, and sometimes two or three nights in a row. I feel stupid and awful because I have a loving husband and a beautiful life, like somehow I'm not being totally loyal to my spouse. I'm very irritated that I can't stop having these romantic dreams. The romance in these dreams is very intense. They're not sexual - instead, the feeling is joy that we can finally be together. Sometimes we even cry of happiness together. I'm wondering if we're soul mates and I should have moved to be with him long ago. Did I make a mistake? Do you think he's having the same dreams? Should I see a shrink? I'm so ashamed about these dreams. Thanks so much for you help.

Astrea:

Most of the people I know have dreams about the one that got away. I don't mean to make light of your feelings about your dreams, but we're wise to remember that they ARE dreams, and what you do in your dreams isn't disloyal at all.

Since you say this person was always long distance and never really in your life on a full-time basis, it's easy for your subconscious to paint a picture of him as the perfect guy you always wanted, even though I know you love your husband and your daughters.

Here's an interesting thing about dreaming of a person from our past, especially someone we've been built up into some fabulous ideal: usually it means we wish the partners we love and live with were more like that person. Basically, we wish we could feel the simple joy with our partner that we feel with the Dream Guy.

We project false characteristics and illusionary attitudes on the Dream Guy because we don't really know him and we don't have to live with him day after day when we're awake. Those Dream Guys never get mad, always pay rapt attention to us, and make us feel safe.

Then when we're awake and our own husbands make us feel wonderful, it's natural to feel a bit GUILTY. Quit it - just quit it. You can enjoy your happy family AND your dreams. You didn't make a mistake here; this guy probably was a possible soul mate for you, but you have a better match in real life now.

There is certainly nothing in this situation for which you should feel any guilt or shame. This Dream Guy is a symbol of a perfect person, not the perfect man for you. People in dreams don't always stand for the same person in real life.

There is nothing shameful about dreaming of a perfect person. Just because he has your friend's face and voice and mannerisms in your dream doesn't make him that person in the flesh. I think you should pay attention to what makes you happy about him in your dreams so you can work those qualities into your waking life.

I am the wrong psychic to ask about the ultimate soul mate because I know that we have more than one. We all have choices; it's what we do with the love we find that is important. To me, soul mates are any two people who have grown together over many years with a lot of caring and understanding.

Your husband and your girls are NOT mistakes! Your real life will feel rewarding and fulfilling if you choose to see it that way.

*****

Susyn:

Life is an amazing journey. When we encounter people who touch us deeply, even years later, we can be sure there is a higher purpose behind that connection.

We come into this world with a set destiny and road to travel, so it can be unsettling if we feel that we are missing or have missed something important to our hearts and souls. I can assure you that if someone is supposed to be a part of your life, they will be - when the time is right.

I'm betting that your destiny was to fall in love with your husband and have your two beautiful daughters. Your friend also has other people to influence, learn from, and fulfill his destiny with.

I'm certain that he holds you in his heart and mind in the same manner you do him, and that somewhere down the road, you'll reconnect again. You'll be two very different people after the life lessons you've experienced, which will determine how this meeting will go.

You may discover that he is not the ideal person for you, or that many of the feelings and idealistic ideas you carry about him were mere projection. Often we are haunted by past relationships simply because they represent a time when we were different people - perhaps more innocent, trusting or open.

On the other hand, you could discover that the connection is as powerful as ever, and that the Universe is working to bring you back together.

The important thing to keep in mind is that your attention should be focused on the present. When you experience these thoughts and dreams, acknowledge them, bless them, and send them on their way with a simple prayer, such as, I was blessed to have this person in my life, and if it is meant to be, I would be happy to have him in my life again.

Oftentimes these dreams and thoughts haunt us because instead of acknowledging them and letting them pass through, we tend to feel guilty, afraid or unsure. The more we try to bury them, the more they will return in an effort to get our attention.

When they come again, stop and try to see the metaphysical messages they are offering. Instead of wondering if he is the same or feels the same, ask yourself this question: Am I the same person I was back then? If not, is there something you can change now to regain those qualities again?

Once you take these dreams and focus them back on your current life, you will recognize the spiritual messages they are offering you.

Astrea:

Many times in life we hear, "You will always have what you NEED, but not necessarily what you WANT." Your spirit must have needed to experience the feeling of leaving your human body, and the suggestion in the next chapter of Sylvia Brown's book was all it took to get you there.

Even though you hadn't read it yet, your SOUL recognized the title of that chapter as something it had been seeking, and your soul, knowing that you had that reference to read after your experience, got with it and out you went!

While I don't usually recommend her books, Sylvia Brown has a wide reaching and powerful effect on lots of people. A Gemini like you would be able to relate easily to her writing and put it to good use. Synchronicity - you gotta love it!

I like your description of "getting caught." That's exactly what it feels like, isn't it? One minute you're free and hovering above the room, and the next minute, ZAP! back down into your corporeal form you go!

As a little kid, I loved that "feeling of return." With practice, most of the time we can control that event, but sometimes, when our physical ears hear a distracting noise or something else occurs to knock us back into reality, back we go. With practice you will be able to control your return better.

I find it interesting that you were visiting your mother-in-law and not someone in your own genetic family. Evidently, you and your husband got married for reasons that are even deeper than love. His family's interest in "psychic stuff" will nurture your children in such matters and help them to grow into their own abilities.

You'll never have to be concerned that when your daughter visits them, she'll be discouraged from exploring her own psychic life and power. My parents encouraged me to develop my psychic senses in a time when it wasn't nice to even discuss such things in public. Heck, it's STILL not considered a great topic at the dinner table in some families!

Your kids will get to talk about it ALL and ask questions and read and study. This is going to give them such an edge in life! Talk with your husband about how you want to present this to your kiddos, so that you are united in your approach and ready to tell them their experiences are all natural and okay.

A word or two of warning: Geminis often have difficulty staying grounded in REAL LIFE. Don't get so strung out on your ASTRAL life that you neglect what you're doing here on Earth.

You are at the beginning of a long journey to learn where your power really lies. Try to be patient with this process and take your time.