KAJAMA.COM NEWSLETTER

by Alexandra Chauran

(Article originally published in The Llewellyn Journal.)

When I was in my early twenties, my life was as a pile of unsorted mementos. Fresh out of my parents' home and merging my childhood and young adult belongings with those of my boyfriend at the time was absolute chaos. I also struggled with the direction my life was headed, in both practical and emotional ways. When I took these burdens to a therapist, I opened up to her about all of my heart's desires. I wanted it all: A prosperous and prestigious career, a family with children of my own, a marriage from the story books, mementos from my childhood, a fabulous home furnished with lavish belongings, and more. I thought that if I could just get one or more of these things, I would be happy again. Then, my therapist told me to seek more of something that I already had, something that wasn't on the ambitious "to-do" list I'd just given her.

My therapist asked me how my spiritual life was going. I stopped and thought. At the time, I thought that my spiritual life was okay. I had fellowship with spiritual peers. I was seeking and learning all the time. But it occurred to me that I wasn't devoting my time and efforts to spiritual pursuits as much as all those other practical woes. My therapist noted almost as an afterthought that spirituality is all that really matters in the end, and that people are often unhappy after they achieve those things I was seeking, like a family and a career, because they're still trying to fill that "God-shaped hole."

We all know that there are unsatisfied people who would seem to have all the wealth that anyone could ever need. The words from my therapist percolated in my brain. I read the writings of the Peace Pilgrim, who renounced her worldly possessions to carry a joyful message for God. I listened to the words of Amma the "Hugging Saint" from India, where she spoke of finding the joyful and spiritually satisfied amongst even the impoverished. The reason that I was having all of these first world problems was because I wasn't giving proper weight and value to my spiritual needs.

Now, this isn't to say that spiritual lack is what's wrong with everybody who lives in a cluttered or hoarded home, or who is dissatisfied with life circumstances. It's okay to look around at life and say, "Hey, this sucks!" I observe that there are some people who are naturally more spiritually hungry than others. Some might live their entire lives satisfied as atheists or agnostics, while you might feel a constant yearning to discover the mysteries of the universe and the divine. Or, you might have run into a spiritual awakening later in life that threw you for a loop. If you feel a calling and ignore that call for whatever reason, you'll subconsciously continue to attempt to fill that void. In our culture, that sometimes means filling your home, office, and car with stuff.

Here are some signs that you or a loved one might exhibit that indicate a physical or mental clutter problem caused by spiritual lack.

• You believe that objects have energies to which you can cling for comfort during times of need.
• When you are stressed, your calendar is still full of obligations, and you find yourself adding more.
• Loved ones reach out to you to try to help you clean or organize your house, or refuse to come over due to the clutter.
• When one thing in life is going wrong it feels like everything is going wrong.
• When you try to get rid of things you no longer need, you move them to other areas of the home instead of actually throwing them away.
• You believe that you need to keep objects that were once owned by the deceased in order to keep their memory alive.
• Your computer is full of electronic clutter, with unsorted photos clogging up all the space and your email Inbox kept full of reminders of things you intend to someday do.
• Self-doubt and low self-esteem keep you from doing the things that you want.
• Every time you clear the clutter in your life, you end up filling up those spaces with clutter all over again.

If these characteristics sound like you and you're also a spiritually hungry person, it's possible that you are trying to quench the yearning for spirituality with physical things and a busy life. Make no mistake, there can be other factors at play here. If you have a true hoarding condition, you may have psychological and emotional issues that can't be solved by any prayer or worship group. If your hoarding is affecting your health and safety or making you unable to function in everyday life, you'll need to talk with a doctor and therapist about brain chemistry and coping skill issues that may be in play.

If, however, you're otherwise healthy and suspect that a neglected spiritual life is part of your problem, this can be remedied with careful attention to your physical, mental, and spiritual health. Think of these as the three legs of a stool. You'll need to carefully nurture these things in balance. This may seem counter-intuitive, if clearing out all the clutter seems like the most pressing need. But remember that if you don't fill the void with something intangible and more meaningful, you'll just fill those spaces right back up again with stuff. So, examine your barriers to spirituality in your life. It's possible that you're being prevented from following the spiritual path that meets your expectations. However, nobody else holds dominion over the inner workings of your heart and soul. Once I discovered how to integrate spirituality into my everyday life and even household chores, the order of the rest of my life seemed to just fall into place. I pray for the same success for you and for any of your loved ones who may struggle with accumulated clutter. I encourage you to address the lack, rather than simply the over-abundance, then allow your life and your excesses to become a blessing to others and an offering to Spirit.

Article originally published in The Llewellyn Journal. Copyright Llewellyn Worldwide, 2015. All rights reserved.

I was born May 29. I have many reasons to believe a man put a strong love spell on me. After not having much contact with him for several years, out of the blue I found myself constantly thinking and dreaming of him. I thought this would fade, but the thoughts and dreams just got stronger. The methods he used were not positive and in fact he attempted to force me to break down and be with him. I'm in a long-term relationship with someone else, but there were times when I thought I was going to leave my boyfriend for him. He and I never had any type of romantic relationship or even flirtation; others around us told me he was interested but I did not recognize this at the time. I've known him for many years through our place of work. Since our work relationship was difficult, I would avoid him and not really speak to him, but the love spell drew me to him and now we are friendly again. After we started speaking again, he told me he thought I hated him and his voice sounded like he was hurt. I asked him if he ever wanted a romanic relationship with me, he said no but he did find me attractive. I had work done to block him, and I do feel better but I still can't stop thinking of him and I sometimes dream of him. I would like to return to a state of balance. I keep busy and even take spiritual baths which give some relief, but thoughts of him and feelings from him return. I've been told to just forget about him. I've tried to, but for some reason I can't. This is not like me. After a difficult experience, I usually quickly move on. I also feel like he really loves me a lot and I feel his love all the time. I think he did something so strong that it's unusually hard for me to break, however I will not stop trying. I have not told my boyfriend about this. Any insight or advice you can give would be greatly appreciated. Blessings to you.

Violet

Susyn:

As the energy of sexual attraction is powerful, trying to resist it can cause confusion or other disconcerting emotions. Once you understand why you feel the way you do, it will be easier to deal with all of this.

Your initial attraction to this man may have roots in a past life. The connections between lovers remain unbroken over space and time, so when they meet again, those feelings can immediately come back to the surface. Even if you were lovers in a past live, however, that doesn't mean you're meant to be together this time around.

These emotions are sending you important messages. They have little to do with your current reality, nor do they suggest that you should be with this man. On the contrary, you are having these feelings to alert you to changes you need to make within yourself. When we encounter emotions from the past that do not go away, we are being called to look within and ponder what's happening on a deep spiritual level.

It is possible that this man attempted to put a spell on you, and that this has amplified the feelings you have for him and is causing you to have constant thoughts about him. Though you've done some spiritual work to minimize this spell, I recommend using my freezing ritual to create a firm boundary between the two of you. You can find directions for this ritual in my Kajama profile under free downloads.

Another practice that is helpful involves putting some limits around your thoughts. This is called corralling your thoughts and is a method you can use to discipline your mind as well as your heart. Basically, it involves setting up a certain time each day to focus your thoughts.

It works like this: Each time he comes into your thoughts during the day, stop yourself and say, I will not think about this right now. I will think about it at 9 p.m. this evening. At 9 p.m., give yourself half an hour to sit and meditate, allowing your thoughts to focus on him. Each evening, cut the time by five minutes until you are down to ten minutes a day. If you miss the 9 p.m. timeframe, you have to wait until the next evening to think about him. Within a week, you will find yourself less and less interested in thinking about him, and even forgetting him altogether.

When you dream of him, write the dream out on a sheet of paper in detail the next morning. Then burn the paper as a way of sending the dream back into the ethers. This should begin to minimize the number of dreams you have about him. Once you do these things, the attraction you feel toward him will begin to fade.

*****

Oceania:

My take on this is contrary to yours, so I hope you'll keep an open mind. I feel you have falsely accused an innocent man of a devious plot! While you are under a spell, it's one of your own making, for you are obsessed with this man. Obsessions help us avoid what's really troubling us, so in that sense, they do serve a purpose.

I suspect something significant happened in September of 2011, so please think back. You may have undergone a painful loss or realized that your relationship wasn't turning out as you'd hoped. Whatever the issue, you began using your feelings for your coworker to distract yourself. Yes, I'm referring to YOUR feelings for HIM. You might be denying those feelings because you feel guilty, but I assure you that it's normal to feel attracted to more than one person.

Your focus on the love spell keeps you from addressing a deeper issue, which likely involves something that is missing in your relationship. Maybe you know what that is, but your passive nature prevents you from asking for it. Your passiveness showed when you wrote, The love spell drew me to him, and now we are friendly again. That's an abdication of personal power and a denial of responsibility. You are friendly with your coworker again because you CHOSE to be!

He probably DID think you hated him, given that you were pushing him away rather than interacting in a professional manner. You shut him out in an attempt to snuff out your attraction, but what we resist, persists! It's time to own your feelings for this man so you can discover what lies beneath them.

It was rather bold of you to come right out and ask him if he wanted a romantic relationship with you, but your inquiry stemmed from your unconscious desire to have a relationship with HIM. Although you didn't realize it, your question was an indirect invitation!

'I feel his love all the time.' It's as if you cannot own your passion, so you project it onto him and then view him as relentlessly adoring you. Your conviction that he's gone to great lengths to be with you allows you to feel loved and desired, which is a feeling that may be missing at home. You deny that you are enjoying your fantasy admirer because you want to see yourself as loyal to your relationship.

Do keep in mind that your feelings for your coworker are a crush - an obsessive love with no basis in reality. Rather than continuing to focus on him by attempting to unravel his spell, you would be better served by going to couples counseling to either improve or let go of your current relationship.

Astrea:

Many times in life we hear, "You will always have what you NEED, but not necessarily what you WANT." Your spirit must have needed to experience the feeling of leaving your human body, and the suggestion in the next chapter of Sylvia Brown's book was all it took to get you there.

Even though you hadn't read it yet, your SOUL recognized the title of that chapter as something it had been seeking, and your soul, knowing that you had that reference to read after your experience, got with it and out you went!

While I don't usually recommend her books, Sylvia Brown has a wide reaching and powerful effect on lots of people. A Gemini like you would be able to relate easily to her writing and put it to good use. Synchronicity - you gotta love it!

I like your description of "getting caught." That's exactly what it feels like, isn't it? One minute you're free and hovering above the room, and the next minute, ZAP! back down into your corporeal form you go!

As a little kid, I loved that "feeling of return." With practice, most of the time we can control that event, but sometimes, when our physical ears hear a distracting noise or something else occurs to knock us back into reality, back we go. With practice you will be able to control your return better.

I find it interesting that you were visiting your mother-in-law and not someone in your own genetic family. Evidently, you and your husband got married for reasons that are even deeper than love. His family's interest in "psychic stuff" will nurture your children in such matters and help them to grow into their own abilities.

You'll never have to be concerned that when your daughter visits them, she'll be discouraged from exploring her own psychic life and power. My parents encouraged me to develop my psychic senses in a time when it wasn't nice to even discuss such things in public. Heck, it's STILL not considered a great topic at the dinner table in some families!

Your kids will get to talk about it ALL and ask questions and read and study. This is going to give them such an edge in life! Talk with your husband about how you want to present this to your kiddos, so that you are united in your approach and ready to tell them their experiences are all natural and okay.

A word or two of warning: Geminis often have difficulty staying grounded in REAL LIFE. Don't get so strung out on your ASTRAL life that you neglect what you're doing here on Earth.

You are at the beginning of a long journey to learn where your power really lies. Try to be patient with this process and take your time.