I fell in love with my best friend and wanted to marry him. When I finally told him, he said that I was imagining things and went on to get engaged to another girl. This was mainly because of family values; we are Indian and arranged marriages within the same culture/community are mandatory for some families. I was devastated because I had envisioned a bright, happy future for us. Within a month, his engagement to the other girl was broken. I keep wondering if it is possible that I manifested something as drastic as that. Although I never thought about things like that and had almost given up, sometimes I can't help but think that I made that happen. The other part of the story is that he did have feelings for me but because he was sure his parents would refuse a girl from a different caste, he kept away. Now he has professed his love for me. We were really happy until he told his parents. They have refused to hear him out and thrown many tantrums. This upset him terribly, so we decided to part ways. Even now, however, I feel his presence and sometimes get signs about him. Should I take these as signs that there will be a breakthrough and he will come back, or is this just wishful thinking?
A.
Susyn:
It must be very frustrating to witness events that seem to conflict with your dreams and intuitions. I encourage you to remember that Spirit works in mysterious ways. You have already seen this situation reverse itself a number of times. Given the twists and turns this relationship has already taken, anything is possible!
You can rest assured that the breakup of his engagement had nothing to do with you. Instead, it was clearly the natural outcome of his making a choice based on what other people wanted for him while ignoring his own truths and feelings. Even now, he appears to be bowing to the wishes of his parents instead of honoring his heart. This is almost as heartbreaking for him as it is for you; I write almost
because you are at the mercy of his decisions.
When we meet our soulmates, there is a deep knowing within us that overrules all practical and superficial considerations. Though you are living in a country where caste systems still prevail, these traditions can't destroy the feelings you have for each other. Of course, regardless of where they live, it often happens that two people fall in love but are kept apart by various outside influences and conditions.
Spirit is asking you to trust in a higher plan, accept the situation for now, and return your focus to your own life. Karmically, there are other things you need to be doing, for your personal higher purpose in life far exceeds the union you will one day experience with your true love.
It is difficult to walk away from something we long for so badly, but you are being shown that it is not time for this relationship to come together. Spirit will create a breakthrough when and if the time is right. I have seen many couples come together, be torn apart, and reunite years later. If this relationship is destined to be, the day will come when the two of you will find yourselves together once again.
As this matter is out of your hands at the moment, your best option is to accept how things are at this point in time. It won't be helpful to dwell on the matter, as that will simply block the energy and potential of the situation. Bowing to the will of Spirit, trusting that you will be led forward, and becoming open to whatever lies ahead is the best frame of mind you can adopt.
It may be hard to imagine at this point, but it's possible that the Universe has another relationship in mind for you. If you put your complete trust in Spirit, things will work out in the best way possible for your ultimate happiness.
*****
Oceania:
Just because you wished for the breakup doesn't mean you made it happen. You don't have the power to manifest in other people's lives - only your own! You might WISH you had such power because then you wouldn't feel so helpless, but your friend and his fiancee manifested their breakup.
Many of my clients are in love with - sometimes obsessed with and addicted to - unavailable people. Like a slot machine payoff, intermittent reinforcement
leads to addiction. If the slot machine paid off every time, then stopped paying every time, it would be easy to catch on and walk away! When there is occasional unpredictable payoff, we get hooked and stay put. The fact that you and your friend were not together, then together, then not together, is in part what keeps you waiting and hoping.
Another problem with intermittent togetherness is that gaps of time allow for idealization and fantasy. You haven't put in enough ongoing face time to know if you are truly compatible as a couple. There seems to be at least one huge incompatibility in that you have the capacity and willingness to ignore family values in order to follow your own heart, whereas he has been unable or unwilling to do so.
Staying focused on an unavailable man is a surefire way to deprive yourself of love, and to hide out from it. It can also be a way of slacking off because we're not accountable to anyone. Relationships manifest, grow and flow when we're ready. The poet Rumi wrote, Your task is not to seek for love but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.
When people say they want a relationship but remain in waiting
for a married or otherwise unavailable partner, the TRUTH may be that they're afraid to enter a full-blown relationship with all of its perks and challenges. They can pretend to want one, but if that were really true, they'd be in one or at least open to meeting potential partners.
Whether or not your love interest is coming back, he's not there now. The best thing you can do to ensure a healthy relationship with him or someone more fitting is to energetically release him. To not do so keeps you tied to the past instead of the present. After releasing, fill the empty space with your own interests. Set an exciting goal for yourself and work towards it.
There may be signs that suggest he's coming back, but that won't really matter if YOU are unprepared. Use this time wisely to prepare yourself so that love will manifest in your life with ease.
Astrea:
Many times in life we hear, "You will always have what you NEED, but not necessarily what you WANT." Your spirit must have needed to experience the feeling of leaving your human body, and the suggestion in the next chapter of Sylvia Brown's book was all it took to get you there.
Even though you hadn't read it yet, your SOUL recognized the title of that chapter as something it had been seeking, and your soul, knowing that you had that reference to read after your experience, got with it and out you went!
While I don't usually recommend her books, Sylvia Brown has a wide reaching and powerful effect on lots of people. A Gemini like you would be able to relate easily to her writing and put it to good use. Synchronicity - you gotta love it!
I like your description of "getting caught." That's exactly what it feels like, isn't it? One minute you're free and hovering above the room, and the next minute, ZAP! back down into your corporeal form you go!
As a little kid, I loved that "feeling of return." With practice, most of the time we can control that event, but sometimes, when our physical ears hear a distracting noise or something else occurs to knock us back into reality, back we go. With practice you will be able to control your return better.
I find it interesting that you were visiting your mother-in-law and not someone in your own genetic family. Evidently, you and your husband got married for reasons that are even deeper than love. His family's interest in "psychic stuff" will nurture your children in such matters and help them to grow into their own abilities.
You'll never have to be concerned that when your daughter visits them, she'll be discouraged from exploring her own psychic life and power. My parents encouraged me to develop my psychic senses in a time when it wasn't nice to even discuss such things in public. Heck, it's STILL not considered a great topic at the dinner table in some families!
Your kids will get to talk about it ALL and ask questions and read and study. This is going to give them such an edge in life! Talk with your husband about how you want to present this to your kiddos, so that you are united in your approach and ready to tell them their experiences are all natural and okay.
A word or two of warning: Geminis often have difficulty staying grounded in REAL LIFE. Don't get so strung out on your ASTRAL life that you neglect what you're doing here on Earth.
You are at the beginning of a long journey to learn where your power really lies. Try to be patient with this process and take your time.