My mom died 10 years ago in a car accident. A week after she passed, I was driving home and felt this ray of sunshine. I knew it was her. It gave me an incredible sense of peace and love. I hadn't really thought much of it since, but then this year I have really felt her close to me. We recently bought a house, and I swear she had something to do with it. I was unsure about the house and then I woke up in the middle of the night to take another look at it, and suddenly felt like it was the right house. After we bought it, I felt that same ray of sunshine that I felt after she died. Ever since then, she just seems to be close. I have received a lot of healing from this. We had a rough relationship when she was alive, and I have really felt this overwhelming feeling of love from her. I guess I am just wondering why this is happening. Is she trying to tell me something? Did she really have something to do with us buying the house? Part of me is afraid that she is suddenly close to me because I am about to die. I'm trying to make sense of this continuous presence. She is the only person I have ever experienced this with. Thank you.
Melissa
Susyn:
We remain connected with our loved ones even after their spirits have crossed over. What most of us fail to realize is that as we continue to grow and evolve over the years, they do as well. Parents teach us many things throughout our lives, and the trend continues long after their passing. Your mother is teaching you about the spirit world in her own special way.
In the spirit world, a soul continues to move forward and grow stronger as time goes by. Your mother had a huge adjustment to make. Once acclimated, she found various ways to make her presence known to you, such as the ray of sunshine that lovingly reminds you of her. After a time, she learned how to guide and direct you intuitively, which is how she was able to help you find and purchase your new house.
Many of us are unaware of how angels and spirits move us in certain ways and bring special gifts into our lives. I feel you can trust your inclination that your mother had something to do with your special house. She has always been near you, but as she directed you toward your new home, you became even more aware of her presence.
When someone with whom we've had difficulties in this life dies, it is natural to carry regrets. This can block us from sensing their spirit's presence around us. Over the course of the last ten years, both you and your mother have come to terms with these difficulties. I believe the house is her way of affirming that she has resolved her own issues with the relationship and hopes that you have been able to do the same.
If you still carry guilt or regrets about how things were between you and your mother, this is the time to release them. It would be a lovely gesture of healing and forgiveness if you made a special place near a window in the house or your garden to serve as a memorial to her. This will create a special area where you can access her spirit (and her rays of sunshine) whenever you like.
You can disregard the idea that she is near you now because you are going to die. Your mother gave you life and wants to watch over you as you continue to grow and attain your goals here on earth. You could sense the joy she felt in helping you find your new residence. You remain open and connected to each other on a spiritual level. Thanks to your awareness and acknowledgement of her presence, your relationship is stronger than ever. I believe that you will continue to sense her presence, and will have even more profound experiences with her in the future.
*****
Oceania:
I'm sorry you lost your mother just as you were entering adulthood, and that you had a rough relationship when she was alive. Both of these factors may have led you to crave healthy mothering and continue to yearn for it from her even after she passed on.
Perhaps the overwhelming love you experienced is indeed your mother's essence, which during her life was hidden behind human limitations. It's also possible that you have unconsciously chosen to associate a ray of sunshine with her memory. A sunbeam certainly represents some of the better qualities of motherhood: warmth, comfort, presence and the light of guidance.
Your mother may now be a purer version of herself and may have visited you at those times when you needed her most: just after her death, throughout this year (which sounds as if it may have been a transitional one), and at the time of you buying a house, which is both a major stress and a happy milestone. It's also possible that you felt the need for a mother at those times, and conjured maternal energy from within or attracted it from without via Mother Nature. You attributing those energies to your departed mother may be wishful thinking in the sense that part of you still wishes she'd been more nurturing and supportive.
It may have been your own intuition that woke you up in the night and urged you to take another look at the house you ended up buying. You may not have been able to fully access your inner wisdom and inner mother while your biological mother was alive. However, now that she's gone, you might continue to discover many maternal, self-loving parts of yourself that you didn't even know existed up until now.
You wrote that ever since your bought the house, you've felt close to your mother and received lots of healing. I believe that what really healed you is you establishing yourself as the lady of the house in your very own home. You have fully stepped into your adult shoes. It can be difficult for a daughter to fully access her own competence when her mother is alive, especially if her mother is overbearing or difficult.
Your mother's energy feels near to you now because you are expanding the mother inside you. You worry about dying because an older version of you IS dying! You are evolving in a direction that may have been blocked when your mother was still in your life. Although she may be close, I suspect that what you are feeling the most is the powerful, protective, loving energy that is part of YOU.
Astrea:
Many times in life we hear, "You will always have what you NEED, but not necessarily what you WANT." Your spirit must have needed to experience the feeling of leaving your human body, and the suggestion in the next chapter of Sylvia Brown's book was all it took to get you there.
Even though you hadn't read it yet, your SOUL recognized the title of that chapter as something it had been seeking, and your soul, knowing that you had that reference to read after your experience, got with it and out you went!
While I don't usually recommend her books, Sylvia Brown has a wide reaching and powerful effect on lots of people. A Gemini like you would be able to relate easily to her writing and put it to good use. Synchronicity - you gotta love it!
I like your description of "getting caught." That's exactly what it feels like, isn't it? One minute you're free and hovering above the room, and the next minute, ZAP! back down into your corporeal form you go!
As a little kid, I loved that "feeling of return." With practice, most of the time we can control that event, but sometimes, when our physical ears hear a distracting noise or something else occurs to knock us back into reality, back we go. With practice you will be able to control your return better.
I find it interesting that you were visiting your mother-in-law and not someone in your own genetic family. Evidently, you and your husband got married for reasons that are even deeper than love. His family's interest in "psychic stuff" will nurture your children in such matters and help them to grow into their own abilities.
You'll never have to be concerned that when your daughter visits them, she'll be discouraged from exploring her own psychic life and power. My parents encouraged me to develop my psychic senses in a time when it wasn't nice to even discuss such things in public. Heck, it's STILL not considered a great topic at the dinner table in some families!
Your kids will get to talk about it ALL and ask questions and read and study. This is going to give them such an edge in life! Talk with your husband about how you want to present this to your kiddos, so that you are united in your approach and ready to tell them their experiences are all natural and okay.
A word or two of warning: Geminis often have difficulty staying grounded in REAL LIFE. Don't get so strung out on your ASTRAL life that you neglect what you're doing here on Earth.
You are at the beginning of a long journey to learn where your power really lies. Try to be patient with this process and take your time.