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    • The Compassion Cure

      by Amy Leigh Mercree

      (Article originally published in The Llewellyn Journal.)

      Imagine this scenario: You're walking down a street and you pass a person sitting on a park bench. You can see, even from the distance, in this person's posture that says something is a little off. As you get closer, you see the person is slouching over and sobbing.

      What do you feel? Perhaps you feel the tug on your heartstrings, and the empathy towards this person immediately enters your emotional being. But what do you do? What you do next is the difference between feeling empathy and sharing a moment of compassion.

      So many of us feel all the feels, but rarely do we act upon it. When you see that person on that park bench, do you pause and then keep walking? Or do you pause, take a seat next to the person, and wish them a good day? Or perhaps offer a listening ear to a stranger? To what extent would you offer yourself as a beacon of support to another being?

      Acts of compassion are rooted in a more sensitive state of mind and act as an extension of empathy. Compassion in action is the impetus to go beyond the initial emotional experience, and act toward positive change in a situation in which you feel so moved. Whether it's something small like holding the door for an elderly person, or something large like starting a non-profit organization in the name of something you care about, compassion can come in many different shapes and forms.

      The seeds of compassion extend through all life forms; from the tiniest insect to the largest animal, compassion is widespread throughout the entire animal kingdom. There are may stories of animals helping one another from dolphins, to alligators, to elephants. The possibility of compassion extends beyond humans into all sentient beings.

      Let's take a look at the role of compassion, the energy behind it, and how to develop a daily practice towards being a compassionate being.

      The Origins of Bodhisattva
      Bodhisattva is the Sanskrit term for a person motivated by great compassion. Oftentimes, this person is on a pathway towards enlightenment and is actively finding deeper, stronger, and more frequent acts of compassion.

      Buddha is thought of as the original Bodhisattva, as he was the epitome of kindness and selflessness. Those who follow in Buddha's steps and path are known as Bodhisattvas.

      Maybe we aren't exactly all the next Buddha or Bodhisattvas. However, there has been a huge rise in the practice of yoga in the Western world, bringing with it a heightened awareness around the absolute necessity of compassion.

      In any given yoga or meditation class, you might hear a very popular chant that encompasses the prayer and dedication of compassion:

      "Lokah Samastah Sukhino Bavantu: May all beings everywhere live happy and free, and may the thoughts, words, and actions of my own life contribute in some way to that happiness and to that freedom for all."

      Feminine Energy and the Goddess Tara
      Our subtle and emotional bodies, which are located in our physical structures, are made up of different types of energies. The two biggest energy forces are the yin and yang of it all—the masculine and the feminine.

      Masculine energy rules processes like willfulness, work ethic, and structure. Feminine energy, however, is the driving force behind empathy (as stated earlier, the fuel for compassion).

      So when the two come together, an interesting and unique force develops into a virtuous liberation. Typically, a Bodhisattva is a male, following in Buddha's footsteps. Yet the Goddess Tara, the most notable female Bodhisattva, is the representative of the embodiment of compassion. Known as "The Mother of Liberation," she represents the willful drive of empathy into action, creating compassion through work and achievement. Whether "Tara" is an actual female person or just a representative conjured up in the ideas mixed together in Hinduism and Buddhism to create a feminine representation of this energy force, it is believed that she hears the cries of pain and suffering and offers mercy, warmth, strength, and a lifeline away from enduring pain.

      Daily Practices of Compassion
      We can look at Goddess Tara as a representative of the mother that plants the seeds of development toward compassion. And just like Tara, our own Earth provides a feminine energy and transformative platform for that compassion to bud and grow.

      You don't have to run out and save the world to be considered compassionate. Small steps in your everyday life can develop compassion, which will bud and grow along the way.

      • Stop and Smell the Flowers
        It's an age-old saying to encourage people to slow down and take in life in the moment. Being present creates the space to accept and receive each other and what's around all of us all the time. But when you literally stop to smell the flowers, you are providing life force for yourself as well as another living being. Flowers give off oxygen, and we give off carbon dioxide. While it's not necessarily a one-to-one ratio in the oxygen and carbon dioxide exchange, giving a little extra breath to a flower gives it more life and sustainability. And you get to take a moment to embrace its beauty. This moment of pause and exchange builds towards compassion through elements of connection and appreciation for other beings.
      • Hold the Door
        The next time you're out, try holding the door for someone else. That person might receive that and immediately send it off to someone else, as you may have heightened their attitude. You never know what someone's going through….something so small such as opening a door for him or her may just be that extra little piece to make sun shine bright in their life.
      • Send a Smile
        Perhaps the easiest and fastest way to share compassion is to just simply smile at someone. Humans have a natural tendency to smile back when smiled at—help someone turn that frown upside down. It's the easiest form of compassion there is.
      • Give a Compliment
        Telling someone that they look nice may not seem compassionate, but by paying a compliment, you are lightening a person's heart, even if he or she may not realize it. So many of us carry so much on our hearts and shoulders, that we often take it out on ourselves. Give a person a little space to breathe by saying something that will make them feel appreciated.
      • Breathe In, Breathe Out: A Daily Mantra
        Even if you've never even stepped foot in a yoga class, the mantra mentioned earlier is a wonderful way to start your day, and sends out the energy to the world and space around you that you truly and selflessly wish for everyone to have peace, joy, and freedom.
        As you start your day, take a moment to repeat the words:

        "Lokah Samastah Sukhino Bavantu: May all beings everywhere live happy and free, and may the thoughts, words, and actions of my own life contribute in some way to that happiness and to that freedom for all."

      And to you, an arbiter of empathy and strength, may you continue to find daily moments along the way, recognize them, integrate them, and give devotion to the selfless compassion in your heart and being.

      Article originally published in The Llewellyn Journal. Copyright Llewellyn Worldwide, 2017. All rights reserved.

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    • CAN SOULMATES MAKE EACH OTHER MISERABLE?

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      My ex was born on the cusp of Aries/Taurus (April 20) and I was born on April 11. I was told by a psychic that we were soul mates in a previous life. I do feel a connection with him, but we spend so much time arguing and fighting that I wonder if she is really correct. I asked her to tell me if we were going to get married, but she said she couldn’t see that, but she said if I did decide to make a life with him, he would try. I was left confused: shouldn’t she able to tell me if we are going to end up together? Sometimes he makes me feel so miserable, I wonder if I would ever even want to be married to him, but then other times I am convinced he is “the one.” Is it worth holding on to this dream? Can soul mates make us miserable? – Paulette

      Dreamchaser:

      I am so glad you asked this! So many people are under the false assumption that finding your soul mate means “happily ever after.” I have no idea where that comes from, except maybe for the fairy tales we are all force fed as children. You know: the Prince comes and kisses the Princess and they live happily ever after in a castle.

      Well, in reality, sometimes the Prince’s breath smells, we have to go to work to pay the bills for the castle, and there are no fairy godmothers, singing mice or sewing birds to help with the day-to-day chores. That is when we realize that even though we may have found true love, we still have to deal with real life.

      Another false assumption is that when we find a soul mate, we will never ever split up. Many times we or the other person may choose to walk away from the relationship for various reasons. Sometimes it is because everything that needed to be done karmically was done. Sometimes it is because the person picked up a bad habit of some kind, or changed in some fashion that we cannot tolerate. Sometimes the relationship is just a bad choice and a big mistake.

      There are so many different reasons relationships break up. I always say we get approximately five soul mates per lifetime – contingency plans, so to speak. So when a psychic tells you that someone is your soul mate, that does not mean that he is your one and only, and you better not mess it up. It just means that you two have an extraordinary connection and it is worth trying to foster it, provided that the other person is also on board.

      Those we love the most can also hurt us the most, so of course soul mates will hurt you. Everyone will hurt you sooner or later in this life. It is not realistic to expect to live a life free from all hurt and suffering.

      No one can tell you without a doubt if you will end up with someone or not. Both people in a relationship have free will. Either of you can exercise that free will at any time. Sometimes it is very clear which direction the relationship is heading, and your psychic will be able to say so. At other times, the decisions are not yet made, and no one can see the outcome. A reputable psychic will explain to you that he/she does not know the outcome and why. Psychic are not all-knowing. We can only see what can be seen, and not even God can predict an undecided outcome.

      I wish you authentic love.

      *****

      Astrea:

      If I believed that we only had one soul mate for every incarnation, I would be very upset. The universe presents us with choices to make as we seek our own happiness and our own joys. Many people will come in and out of our lives who could be soul mate material. We’ve been with some of these people in past lives, and others are new to our experience. The choices we make determine whether or not that person becomes a life partner.

      Just because a psychic says that you’re soul mates doesn’t make it true! Do you know how often that person has been right about the soul mate question for other people? What is her track record for accuracy? Do you feel that she knows both of you well enough to make that assumption? If you just had one isolated reading with her, she was probably doing the best job for you that she could, with very limited knowledge of your situation. If she was an astrologer and familiar with both of your charts, I doubt that she would have seen you as soul mates. I could see you as friends and maybe even siblings in some past lives, but not romantically involved.

      Two Aries people in a relationship form a bond that is so intense that a psychic might mistake that powerful energy for a soul connection. I know that if partners are very alike, sometimes that hurts more than it helps.

      Contrast is a good thing in relationships. If you have the same idea all the time, but see different approaches to your goals, that could pose some major difficulties. While there is a deep level of understanding, there are also impediments because of the feelings that stopped between you. Neither of you would want to seem weak to the other. Your Aries sun sometimes causes you to hold your feelings in, and not express them. That leads to the kind of conversations that often develop into arguments.

      People who sincerely love one another do what it takes to stay together, even if that means changing their values and points of view. I can’t see you getting married or staying together forever, but if you can agree to try to work this out between you, perhaps going to a counselor would give you someone you could bounce your concerns off. Don’t try to force yourselves into anything out of fear that you won’t get another chance at big love. There are plenty of potential soul mates out there for each of you!

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