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7 Ways to Traverse Your Way Through Any Transition, by Servet Hasan

(Article originally published in The Llewellyn Journal.)

None of us can escape loss. Life's challenges are universal and eventually will find us. Whether you're moving to a new city, leaving for college, or experiencing a divorce in your family, having life throw a major curve ball can leave us longing for the way things used to be. Yes, there is often grief and pain associated with these transitions, especially the surprise attackers, such as losing a job, or discovering we have a serious illness. It doesn't matter whether a life transition evolves slowly over time or is forced by an unexpected event; we have to plunge ourselves into purgatory. Life transitions can be periods of enormous personal and psychological growth. Instead of falling into fear or avoidance, we can realize that every change we face—even the most difficult and painful—gives us an opportunity to receive the miraculous gift of self-realization. It is a golden opportunity to reinvent ourselves and find wholeness in our lives.

Just when you think you've fallen completely to pieces, your inner guidance system can and will help you understand that loss is only what you make of it. Rather than deny it, become a victim, or reach for whatever addiction you feel may cover up the agony, you can actually learn to embrace your pain. In so doing, you will realize that everything that happens to you, every situation in which you find yourself, represents a lesson that could teach you how to take the next step forward in the actualization of your selfhood. Growing up is all about learning to leave some things behind in order to embrace the new. In fact, transition periods can become some of the most exciting, creative, and even liberating times of our lives. They can become catalysts for our personal evolution by forcing us to face every issue we have ever avoided facing, thereby uncovering the essential truth about who we really are. This is the true meaning of spiritual renewal.

If you are in the middle of a transition, take a deep breath and know that by supporting yourself during this time you are setting the stage for a brilliant new phase in your life. In my book, Life in Transition: An Intuitive Path to New Beginnings, I suggest many ways in which you can not only move past the fear and embrace the change, but come out on the other side better and stronger than ever. Below are seven suggestions for moving through any life challenge.

1. One Day at a Time. If you are feeling overwhelmed, it's time to change time zones. When you stop stewing over the past and fretting about the future you will suddenly find that your challenges are much more manageable. Focus on what you can do in the moment each day, here and now. When chaos is swirling around you, your normal routine will become a stabilizing force. Just getting up, getting dressed, and going to work can provide you with a sense of comfort. Naturally, there will be some routines that change with your transition, but try to hold on to as many as you can so you don't lose your footing entirely. Every change brings something new and beautiful into your life. Simply do the best that you can every day and take time to be kind to yourself. Go slow. Rest. Eat well. If you had the flu, you would make time to heal; it's no different in cases of the heart and soul.
2. Why...Not. I get it. I for one have an almost obsessive need to know why something happened, because I don't handle ambiguity well. But I've learned the hard way that the answer is not always what I think it is, and it sometimes takes months or years to discover why I went through what I went through. I have also come to realize that many of my perceived failings were simply that: perceived failings. And sometimes transitions just can't be analyzed and thought out. Someone telling you that everything happens for a reason usually doesn't help; even if it does, it doesn't help you move past it. Often, there is no logical explanation and it doesn't really matter why it happened. Let's face it: life is not fair. And if you really want to know what you did to deserve what happened to you, the only answer would be that you were born. You can't change the past; all you can do is learn from it and move on.
3. Be Optimistic. A shift in perspective can work miracles. I know it's easier said than done, but try to focus on the positive aspects of this life-changing situation. The healing process has a beginning, a middle, and an end. You will get better. You will survive. Saying affirmations by rote won't help, but if you can find one that resonates with you, stick with it. Some thoughts to help you through a troubled time may be, "This too shall pass," or, "I know things will get better," or, "When life gives me pits, I plant them and grow cherry trees." Anything that helps you look at the bright side and move through the crisis is beneficial. Remember that God's rejection is also God's protection.
4. Listen to Your Intuition. Your intellect is how you process your challenges, but your intuition is how you will experience them, and ultimately walk through them. Knowledge can help you understand the pain, but it's your inner voice that will guide you towards the wisdom you will gain from it. No matter how subtle the changes and shifts you are going through may seem, you must sit quietly and listen intently to your gut reactions. When you don't know what to do next, your internal guidance system will naturally lead you to the next step, whether or not it seems logical at the time. Let your heart guide you. It generally knows what's best for you long before your brain does.
5. Don't Force Yourself to Heal. Being in a transition of any kind is a process. You can't walk around it, or slide under or over it; you have to move through it. Some people will fight the process tooth and nail, so they can hurry up and get to the other side. You can try that. But eventually your psyche will fight back, usually by becoming angry or depressed, anxious or physically sick for much longer than necessary. Accept, and if possible embrace, the changes you are encountering. They are all part of the body's natural healing process. You may think you know what stage you are in within the transition, but then again, maybe you don't. The unsettled feelings that come with transition are uncomfortable, but you can't jump ship at the first sight of land. You want to plant yourself firmly on a solid foundation and not a sinking island. Allow yourself to mourn meaningfully. You might as well do it right the first time.
6. Take Time to Go Inward Every Day. Surrender to the fact that the Universe may have a better plan for you. Take time to allow yourself to make room for miracles to happen. It doesn't matter what your faith may be, but it is imperative that you seek the still, quiet voice within. Grieving your old life, even in minor transitions, is to be expected. You are simply letting go of all that was and all that might have been. This is normal and an important part of the healing process. If possible, write down your feelings and then write some more. Journaling is so cathartic during life transitions; it is good for your soul to release your churned-up emotions.
7. Find Support. If you start to feel as if you are no longer in control; have a history of emotional difficulty; or find that you are turning to drugs, alcohol, or other abusive substances, it's time to reach out and get help. There is no shame in asking someone to help you maneuver the bumps you will encounter. Asking for help is not a cop out, or a sign of weakness; in fact, it takes a great deal of courage to ask for assistance when you need it. Also, finding others that have gone through a similar loss can provide a great deal of support and guidance. Just remember that anyone can offer you advice, but only you know what is right for you.

Article originally published in The Llewellyn Journal. Copyright Llewellyn Worldwide, 2014. All rights reserved.

I am a professional medium and belong to a development circle. I don't feel very good about my work lately. I find myself asking my clients a lot of questions, which I know is a sign of a lazy medium. The other night I asked Spirit if I should give all of this up and do something else. I asked for a sign, but I've not yet received anything. Do you think I should give it all up? I'm a Gemini born 6/17/59. - Suzanne

Dreamchaser:

Life is not a straight, level ride; it's full of hills and valleys, highs and lows, twists and turns, and it's the same way with our spiritual gifts and abilities.

There are times when our psychic senses are very strong, times when they are peaking at amazing levels, and times when we do not feel so open and connected. We have to accept that this is going to happen.

I often liken "down periods" to the way bears hibernate in the winter: sometimes my gifts go into hibernation or go on break for a little while. They always come back, however, as will yours.

I have to disagree with you on one thing you wrote: I do not believe that asking questions is a sign of a lazy medium (or psychic, reader, counselor, etc.) In some readings I do not ask questions, and in some readings I do. It all depends on the energy of the individual I am reading for and the nature of the reading itself.

For example, I was channeling a client's husband who died very unexpectedly in his 30s, and I would always see a patch of red and black-checked flannel when I was reading for her. Finally one day I asked her what it meant to her, and she said that she buried his favorite shirt with him, which was (of course) red and black-checked flannel. Over the course of their marriage, she would put it in the rag bin, and then he would pull it out.

I also often saw a golf ball around him, and when I asked her about this, she told me she also buried him with his hole-in-one ball. So as you can see, those two questions proved quite important to her. It is not wrong OR lazy to ask questions, to a point. We are not expected to know all. If clients have a problem with that, then they are the ones who are wrong in their expectations.

When you ask Spirit for a sign, sometimes it takes more than a couple of days for you to get your answer. In fact, sometimes it takes quite a while. Sometimes the answer is different than we expect or anticipate, so we don't even recognize it when it comes. I think you should just sit back, relax, and wait for a sign, and keep your heart and mind open to all the possibilities.

I also don't think you should make any rash decisions while you are in a "down" period. You should wait until you feel like you're back on track again, then ask yourself if you still want to quit.

If you have lost satisfaction in the job itself, if you feel you are not making a difference anymore, or if you feel you are being led to do something else, then you should consider quitting. If you feel you have "lost your power," however, then you should wait for it to come back so you can use it to make a wise decision on this matter.

I wish you clear awareness of your next step forward.

*****

Astrea:

You're just in transition in terms of the way you approach your psychic work. This sort of change can be quite disconcerting for a medium! Unfortunately, there isn't any way to speed things up; we must trust spiritual processes to unfold in their own perfect time and way.

It's awful to feel unsure of ourselves, but everyone who does readings of any kind goes through these transitions. You have probably been through half a dozen since you started, but because you've gained so much mastery, you now notice little nuances in your abilities more than you did in the past.

Being a medium isn't something you can just "give up" or turn off and on like a faucet! If you are a medium, you're one for life. If you want to take a break from doing it professionally, that might be a good idea for now. I know that when I feel I'm not doing my best for my clients, I have to STOP. Usually it's just for a few hours or a few days while I rejuvenate myself.

I seriously doubt that you are being lazy in your work! Asking lots of questions just means you're trying to get all the issues straight before you start. I don't think that's lazy - it just feels THOROUGH to me.

I'm sure as long as you get results, your clients don't mind the questions. Sometimes it helps mine to talk about things before we go to work. I'm sure you know very well that sometimes people come to us when they just need to talk.

Your uneasiness may also stem from the energy of the LIVING people for whom you're reading. Are you getting a group of particularly lonely clients at the moment, or do you have one problem client who makes you feel TIRED the second he or she walks through the door? Sometimes the people we see are very draining because they are in great need.

If you can channel the Departed, you can't help but feel the vibrations of living people too. If you feel fatigued by certain clients, try to suggest they find help elsewhere, then pass them along.

Here are two personal issues I have with being a medium. If I have a client who is really greedy about some money or material possession that they want a loved one in Spirit to help them secure, it wipes me out to speak to them.

Also, I find people who cheat on their spouses very hard to read for. Selfish questions don't lure the Departed away from their Heavenly Pursuits to help us. It would help all of us readers if clients were better educated about what we can and cannot do.

Most of the time when we get burned out like you are, it's just temporary. Try taking a break for a week or two, and then see if you miss your spiritual work. If you do, go right back! If you don't, THEN you can start looking for a sign about what you should do next.

Astrea:

Many times in life we hear, "You will always have what you NEED, but not necessarily what you WANT." Your spirit must have needed to experience the feeling of leaving your human body, and the suggestion in the next chapter of Sylvia Brown's book was all it took to get you there.

Even though you hadn't read it yet, your SOUL recognized the title of that chapter as something it had been seeking, and your soul, knowing that you had that reference to read after your experience, got with it and out you went!

While I don't usually recommend her books, Sylvia Brown has a wide reaching and powerful effect on lots of people. A Gemini like you would be able to relate easily to her writing and put it to good use. Synchronicity - you gotta love it!

I like your description of "getting caught." That's exactly what it feels like, isn't it? One minute you're free and hovering above the room, and the next minute, ZAP! back down into your corporeal form you go!

As a little kid, I loved that "feeling of return." With practice, most of the time we can control that event, but sometimes, when our physical ears hear a distracting noise or something else occurs to knock us back into reality, back we go. With practice you will be able to control your return better.

I find it interesting that you were visiting your mother-in-law and not someone in your own genetic family. Evidently, you and your husband got married for reasons that are even deeper than love. His family's interest in "psychic stuff" will nurture your children in such matters and help them to grow into their own abilities.

You'll never have to be concerned that when your daughter visits them, she'll be discouraged from exploring her own psychic life and power. My parents encouraged me to develop my psychic senses in a time when it wasn't nice to even discuss such things in public. Heck, it's STILL not considered a great topic at the dinner table in some families!

Your kids will get to talk about it ALL and ask questions and read and study. This is going to give them such an edge in life! Talk with your husband about how you want to present this to your kiddos, so that you are united in your approach and ready to tell them their experiences are all natural and okay.

A word or two of warning: Geminis often have difficulty staying grounded in REAL LIFE. Don't get so strung out on your ASTRAL life that you neglect what you're doing here on Earth.

You are at the beginning of a long journey to learn where your power really lies. Try to be patient with this process and take your time.