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A Conversation with Bridgit Dengel Gaspard, author
of The Final 8th: Enlist Your Inner Selves To Accomplish Your Goals

Tell us about the title of your book The Final 8th and what it means.

The Final 8th is the demoralizing quandary of failing within sight of victory. The concept jumped out at me as I frequently watched clients mysteriously stall in front of their finish line. Despite working hard and doing many of the ‘right things’ that would get them 7/8 of the way there, they were inexplicably unable to reach a cherished goal, whether it’s in career, relationships, financials, health, creativity and/or personal growth. Despite the nearness to the goal, despite the hard work and access to resources, despite admirable commitment and having the finish line within reach, they just couldn’t get there. Examples abound of that last little undone bit that can plague people for years: the final 5 pounds they don’t lose, that one incomplete that prevents graduation, being indispensable at a job, but not considered for the promotion. The Final 8th is a finish line issue.

You introduce a process in your book called Voice Dialogue. Please tell us more about how Voice Dialogue works.

The technique of Voice Dialogue is a powerful method developed by my mentors Hal and Sidra Stone, to discover different aspects of yourself and speak from their point of view. This technique can reveal and free you from the hidden internal conflict that’s blocking your ability to achieve your goal.

Is this what your subtitle “Enlist Your Inner Selves To Accomplish Your Goals” refers to?

Yes. The Final 8th operates similarly. You think you want your goal with every fiber of your being, but what you find out is that there are parts of you that don’t want the goal. My book helps readers to get unstuck by identifying and embracing their many personas. They learn how to use Voice Dialogue to communicate with their different alter egos and excavate crucial information regarding their Final 8th mystery. Instead of pushing or wishing away parts of themselves labeled problematic, they actually get to meet them, learn their wisdom, and realize that each part has the noble purpose of protecting our vulnerability. And that means any part — the Resistor or Avoider or Anxious One — has genuinely good reasons for not wanting to go to the next level. Though it may feel strange at first, The Final 8th process teaches you how to enlist all of your inner selves to accomplish your goals. It’s incredibly empowering.

Why do people stop themselves before finishing the final steps to their goals?

It’s an unconscious, distorted act of loyalty to negative messages from early caregivers, which has morphed into painful core negative beliefs. These foundational assumptions generate a skewed, negative worldview that is false, but believed. These beliefs define who we are and at the same time, we desperately don’t want the negative identity to be true. This vacillation is the organizing principle that motivates different parts of ourselves.

Part of the Final 8th process is becoming aware that there are parts of us that operate to make our core negative belief not be true – like Action-Taking, Disciplined and Motivated alter egos. They get us 7/8s of the way there. We see the finish line on the horizon and parts of us are happy and excited. Then the mysterious stall happens as the accomplishments rub up against the negative identity within, supported by disorganized, cynical and fearful selves. Whether or not we’re aware of these contradictory belief systems, they are so distressful that a series of sub-personalities, like the Napper, Substance User or Web Surfer swiftly move in to distract us. The contradiction between our Final 8th goal and our core negative belief creates a double bind within, forcing us yo a standstill.

Which inner selves are involved when we stop a project in sight of the finish line?

Accomplishing your Final 8th goal makes you bigger, which is exciting but also opens you up to being exposed and vulnerable. Depending on who you are, any number of different selves could be part of your stuckness. That’s why doing Voice Dialogue and discovering the gifts, motivations, actions, and rules of your different parts is vital.

For example, I dialogued with my client’s Resistant Alter Ego who had been labeled as the problem. Much to both of our surprise that alter ego revealed a secret. The real obstacle to the Final 8th was a potential drinking problem if my client moved into a more successful, and stressful arena. That realization shifted our work and we explored different parts of her, whose wisdom and guidance were key to the puzzle of her stuckness. That’s why people who have a lot of skill sets, 5-year plans, time management strategies and the like, don’t understand why they can’t use these tried and true techniques to move forward. What got them stuck — what was tripping up my client — wasn’t anything that strategic planning could address. The problem and the solution usually lie in our invisible double bind.

You say that it’s important for us to listen to all aspects of ourselves — including the Inner Critic, Procrastinator, Resistor and other aspects of ourselves that are in the way. Why is that?

All selves have wisdom to offer. Some of what they say may be surprising, some of it may be exhilarating, and some of it may be hard to hear, but all of it will be helpful. You might feel a particular alter ego is a pain and a drag, holding you back from your Final 8th goal, but from its point of view it’s protecting you somehow. Be curious about what’s going on, dialogue with it, and don’t aim to attack or get rid of it, which doesn’t work anyway. Your Inner Critic is with you forever, but t it can become your ally instead of your bully through the Final 8th process.

If someone is having a hard time crossing the finish line to their goals, what is the most important thing you want them to know?

Instead of focusing on how bad you feel and misinterpreting that to mean you are a failure who is unable to cross your finish line, get curious. This process is an adventure that animates vitality. Identify which specific parts of yourself are having a hard time and which ones want your Final 8th goal to happen. You get to dialogue with parts of yourself like your Optimist, Adventurer, Healer, Playful Child and Visionary. Engaging in the Final 8th process creates startlingly rapid shifts. It builds momentum and motivation so you can become unstuck and cross the finish line.

Bridgit Dengel Gaspard, LCSW, is the author of The Final 8th and the founder of the New York Voice Dialogue Institute. She is a former performer who earned a master’s degree from Columbia University and teaches at numerous professional settings including Omega Institute. She lives in New York City, where she maintains a thriving private practice. Visit her online at Final8th.com.

Excerpted from the book The Final 8th. Copyright ©2020 by Bridgit Dengel Gaspard. Printed with permission from New World Library.

I go through periods when I have deja vu constantly, like almost every moment, and sometimes these periods last for weeks at a time. (Then things go back to being normal.) What do you think this means? Is there some action I should take?

Devane

Astrea:

Being a Leo, you're probably having lots of flashbacks to your past lives. Since Leos aren't usually on their first incarnation, you no doubt have many lives to flash back to as well.

Now that you're grown in THIS incarnation, these lives are bombarding you to give you information you need so you don't make the same poor choices and mistakes you've made in your Before Times. Having these flashbacks for days on end may be troublesome, but they're probably important in some way.

Remember that there are other worlds beyond the Earth. Being a Leo, you might have lived in another dimension or galaxy in the past, and it may be important to your spiritual growth to get in touch with more than your past lives on Earth.

Be sure to keep records! Get a special notebook to record these experiences in. Write down every detail of what you see, hear and feel as it comes to you. Pay special attention to how your surroundings look and what you're wearing if you can see those too.

If you can't write things down when deja vu is happening to you, then do it as soon as you can when you come to. As you make more and more entries into your Deja Vu Diary, you'll begin to see patterns of choices and consequences from your past lives.

Pay very close attention to the other people you see in these moments too. Some will be Angelic Beings who are trying to guide you, and some are real people you've been with before and will probably meet again in this life. This experience is preparing you for those things to happen - you're being kept open to all sorts of possibilities for positive change in this life.

Once you've sorted through this Universal Information, the deja vu will subside and you'll be able to incorporate the lessons you learned in your past incarnations in this one.

You have a special purpose in life or this wouldn't be happening to you now. It's so important that you find out where and when you've been, not only for your own future but so you can help others find their way too.

You've been Chosen. Sometimes that's a pure blessing, and sometimes it means there is a lot of hard work ahead, but whatever you discover, I'm sure it will lead to a lifetime of greater happiness and spiritual reward.

*****

Susyn:

Deja vu comes from the French language and means already seen. There are many theories about deja vu. Most people describe it as a sense of being in the midst of an event, place or conversation that feels like it has already been experienced. Having deja vu frequently can make us feel very unbalanced, as this creates the impression that we're repeating things over and over.

The deja vu sensation is very common - it's experienced by roughly 70 percent of the population at one time or another. Deja vu has even been the subject of a number of movies.

Metaphysically, deja vu is viewed as evidence of psychic ability or extra sensory perception. Here it suggests the ability to see or recognize an experience before it happens, hence creating the sense that it has been experienced before.

There is also the possibility that these incidents are evidence of prophetic dreams we might have but not recall until we are faced with the event in real life. Yet another theory is that these memories come from past lives, like when we encounter a stranger that feels strangely familiar.

Scientists and researchers have attempted to attribute deja vu to neurological causes or the side effects of various medications. However, because it is such a common phenomenon, researchers have been unable to tie it to any one cause.

Most likely, your frequent experiences with deja vu are signs that your psychic abilities are on the upswing. Delving into more metaphysical studies or finding a way to share your gifts with the world should balance out these episodes.

There is no need for alarm when they happen; your awareness of them is simply a wake-up call to pay closer attention to the development you are going through. Once you take action to encourage your psychic powers, you may see these deja vu experiences either fade or transform into important signs and messages that you can then interpret or act upon.

It will be helpful to record these incidents in a journal, as once you put them down on paper, you may begin to see a pattern or discover deeper meaning in them. Paying closer attention to them is all you need to do until they reveal their true higher purpose in your life.

Astrea:

Many times in life we hear, "You will always have what you NEED, but not necessarily what you WANT." Your spirit must have needed to experience the feeling of leaving your human body, and the suggestion in the next chapter of Sylvia Brown's book was all it took to get you there.

Even though you hadn't read it yet, your SOUL recognized the title of that chapter as something it had been seeking, and your soul, knowing that you had that reference to read after your experience, got with it and out you went!

While I don't usually recommend her books, Sylvia Brown has a wide reaching and powerful effect on lots of people. A Gemini like you would be able to relate easily to her writing and put it to good use. Synchronicity - you gotta love it!

I like your description of "getting caught." That's exactly what it feels like, isn't it? One minute you're free and hovering above the room, and the next minute, ZAP! back down into your corporeal form you go!

As a little kid, I loved that "feeling of return." With practice, most of the time we can control that event, but sometimes, when our physical ears hear a distracting noise or something else occurs to knock us back into reality, back we go. With practice you will be able to control your return better.

I find it interesting that you were visiting your mother-in-law and not someone in your own genetic family. Evidently, you and your husband got married for reasons that are even deeper than love. His family's interest in "psychic stuff" will nurture your children in such matters and help them to grow into their own abilities.

You'll never have to be concerned that when your daughter visits them, she'll be discouraged from exploring her own psychic life and power. My parents encouraged me to develop my psychic senses in a time when it wasn't nice to even discuss such things in public. Heck, it's STILL not considered a great topic at the dinner table in some families!

Your kids will get to talk about it ALL and ask questions and read and study. This is going to give them such an edge in life! Talk with your husband about how you want to present this to your kiddos, so that you are united in your approach and ready to tell them their experiences are all natural and okay.

A word or two of warning: Geminis often have difficulty staying grounded in REAL LIFE. Don't get so strung out on your ASTRAL life that you neglect what you're doing here on Earth.

You are at the beginning of a long journey to learn where your power really lies. Try to be patient with this process and take your time.