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Self-Care Inspired by the Wheel of the Year, by Tiffany Lazic

(Article originally published in The Llewellyn Journal.)

In times of confusion, challenge, and crisis the encouragement to pay attention to one's own self-care is often heard coming from many quarters. And yet, these are the very times when, with so much of upheaval and disequilibrium all around, even the smallest act of self-nurturing can begin to feel overwhelming. Instead of reaping the positive benefits of caring for yourself, it can feel like a herculean task to focus on the step in front of you. In part, this can be due to the sheer volume of information out there. It comes through the television, the phone, well-meaning friends. Much of it is great information, but at times it can feel like a tsunami. Unfortunately, with so much guidance around what to do or what not to do, the overload of information can end up contributing to the very thing you are trying to address and resolve. Rather than bring ease to the soul in trying times, comfort to the heart in painful circumstances, and the strength to continue in the face of obstacle after obstacle, there is a risk of feeling inadequate or badgered by all the "shoulds" or "coulds." What would have been a solid foundation of self-care support instead, with the strident "Inner Critic" chastisement of inadequacy and "not good enough," becomes even more confusion, challenge, and possibly crisis.

Of course, it is important to have a baseline of self-care. For example, good nutrition can only ever be a force for good in your life. It is not the self-care that provides the challenge. It is the possibility of losing the value of positive reflection and suggestion in the raucous cacophony of ceaseless external advice-giving. It is the potential to lose connection with the innate wisdom we carry within. Wisdom that is tied to nature—both our own inner innate nature and our connection to the greater experience of Nature around us. If you ever come to a place of losing your way, of feeling like all the self-care threads that come from so many well-meaning—or sometimes not-so-well-meaning—places are threatening to truss you up, take a breath and look to the seasons. Find the wisdom in Nature that is echoed in the very bones that support you, the blood the flows through you, and the Spirit that animates you.

Self-Care Inspired by the Wheel of the Year:
Yule: Care for yourself as diligently and conscientiously as you would a precious newborn. If you are hungry, eat basic, nutritious foods. If you are tired, sleep (even if that is sneaking in a wee nap mid-day or five minutes of "resting your eyes"). Yule aligns with the Root Chakra. If there is no energy sourcing the Root, then everything else will languish. You cannot be healthy in the mind if the body is perennially depleted. You cannot meet a challenge if you "power down" mid-meet. Tune your ear to the inner call and when the body cries out, let it know that you are there. There is a beautiful self-validation that comes from attuning to the inner dialogue. Listen to your body's very basic needs.

Imbolc: Allow the freeze to melt into flow. Give your feelings full voice. This does not necessarily mean telling everyone around you what is going on for you—there is time enough for appropriate and respectful sharing and disclosure—but it does mean being absolutely, transparently honest with yourself. There will definitely be emotions that are not the most comfortable to experience: emotions that come uncomfortably close to touching shame, or ones that feel so big they seem insurmountable. That's okay. Nothing need be done with these emotions right away. You may find that you do need to express the discomfiting contents of your emotional reflection to a friend or partner. Or you may have a sense that that is not necessary. That decision may still be in the future, needing to still be determined. But unquestionably and unequivocally, you need to acknowledge those emotions to yourself. Allow your feelings to tell you how you are experiencing the world, or relationships, or situations. Allow your feelings to be the entryway into a deeper relationship with yourself. Listen to your emotions without judgement.

Ostara: Set boundaries. All equinox times bring polarities into sharp relief. Though it is important to learn how to set boundaries with others—to know the delineation between your wants, needs, and experiences and someone else's wants, needs, and experiences—it is often even more important to set internal boundaries: to differentiate between the inner critical voice and the inner supportive voice. When you take the time to slow down and listen to your thoughts, you will quickly recognize the way in which you talk to yourself. And there is nothing more important than having a kind and encouraging—if, at times, prompting and challenging—voice on your side. Leave that which is cold and hard in the dark. Listen to that which is light, and gentle, and supportive. This is the path to healthy self-esteem, self-regard, and self-respect. Set internal boundaries allowing only kind support be the voice which directs you.

Beltane: Find where your passion lives. There is much about life that can be rote or responsibility. There are many things that need to be done, especially to ensure a stable, healthy foundation. Those things do need to be acknowledged and respected. But life is so much more than that. The quinoa may nourish the body, but it is the edible wildflower garnish that makes the heart sing. Beltane aligns with the Heart Chakra and invites us to find the ways in which we dance our lives. If you do not know the thing you would love to do whether anyone saw it or not, whether anyone liked it or not, whether it served any purpose or not, find it! Very often it lies in our child heart that we think lies in the dark recesses of the past. The part of us that experienced life unselfconsciously and perhaps even a bit freely. We know we have found our passion when the heart feels a bit lighter and a bit more expanded. Whatever it is, it may not speak to others or it may be that others cannot even see what it is about this thing that speaks to us so, but that is okay. It only need speak to your heart. Find the thing that not only inspires you but brings the energy of joy to many parts of your life.

Litha: Acknowledge your talents. Lying across the Wheel from Yule, Litha carries similar energies but experienced in a slightly different way. Much as you would care for your physical self as Yule guides you to do, Litha invites you to care for your non-physical self. In other words, your ego: that hardworking vessel that is the container for the Soul that is journeying through this life. When the ego is coming from positive self-esteem, self-regard, self-respect—not the dark of shame, inadequacy, and insecurity—it allows you to celebrate your accomplishments with confidence. The Summer sun invites you to shine brightly and to shine that light on all that you have done or accomplished. This does not have to be grand or monumental. This is not about amplifying grandiosity. It is about honoring your own particular contribution as significant. The ability to make someone smile. To bake an amazing cookie. To give generously of your time to a cause. Find and claim the ability that is your special contribution to the world.

Lughnasadh: See challenging experiences as containing valuable information. The first of the harvest festivals offers the opportunity for you to assess what has worked in your approach—over the past days, weeks, months, or even years—and what did not. There are going to be those situations that did not pan out the way you had hoped, those relationships that took a turn in a different way than expected, dreams that withered on the vine. Once again, as long as you are able to come at those experiences from a place of self-esteem, self-regard, and self-respect, they hold important information about you, about your needs and expectations, about your areas of strength and those areas that could benefit from some attention and growth. Celebrate successes and glean the nuggets of wisdom from the disappointments.

Mabon: Learn to let go. Perhaps the greater part of harvesting is knowing what not to pick. It is wasted effort to try to get every single apple, beet, or carrot, especially if they are mealy, wormy, or rotten. Everything in life operates on this principle. If a belief does not serve your esteem and confidence, leave it in the field. If a friendship is more draining than uplifting despite attempts to address the energy imbalance, it can hang on the tree. If the memory of a past incident has the power to wreck your day, know that it has no more nutrients for you than a rotten carrot and leave it be. When you bring discernment to the activity of harvest, you know the baggage you carry will not drag you down. You will only pick that which has the potential to nourish you. Be confident in letting go of anything that depletes you, rather than energizes you.

Samhain: Embrace the Mystery. Not everything in the dark is scary and threatening. There can be wonders in there as well. One of the biggest challenges can be learning to have faith that things will all be okay in the end. Walking towards your future, even if you are not exactly sure what that might be, or how exactly you are going to get there, can bring up a lot of feelings of trepidation and resistance. We feel far more comfortable in the bright light of day than in the dark. The time of year when the night seems to stretch on endlessly invites you to find peace in the not knowing. Let go of control. Let go of agenda. Allow a moment of surrender to the process of your life's unfolding. Listen to the whisper of Spirit that guides in the stillness of the dark.

Each of the eight spokes on the Wheel of the Year carries its own unique energetic, which has the potential to transmit a message on how to be in balance with the world, how to find equilibrium in the flow of your own process, and how to support the movement of your own self-actualization. We are not separate from Nature. We are a part of Nature. Its wisdom is our wisdom. And the place to turn to seek that wisdom is within. In this age of information when recommendations and suggestions on what you must do can seem like the loudest voice, take a breath and reach for the place within that resonates to all of Nature around you. See the seasons as the remarkable mirror they are, reflecting infinite wisdom in which you may bask. And allow that to serve as the guideline to your self-care, self-support, and self-encouragement. In that reflection, you are always divinely whole and wondrously unique.

Article originally published in The Llewellyn Journal. Copyright Llewellyn Worldwide, 2021. All rights reserved.

When I was nine years old, I had the most startling spiritual experience of my life. I remember it very clearly: I had just gone to bed and was about to fall asleep, when something in the corner of the room caught my attention. When I looked, I saw this huge angel. It was like a beautiful man with immense wings, and he was sparkly and light. The angel was crying, and I got the impression it was because he had to leave me. I ran to get my parents to see the angel, but when we got back, there was nothing there. This experience has always made me wonder if children have extra guardian angels that have to leave us as we grow up. It was also really startling to think an angel would be sad and cry over a parting like this. Do you think angels experience human emotions?

- Rebecca

Astrea:

When I was little, I can remember my two Guardians going on walkabout. (That's how it felt at the time, though that's not how I expressed or thought of it then). I was in third grade, so I would have been about the same age you were when you had your vision. It took until I was in college to reconnect with those two.

At the time I wasn't upset because I'd been in constant communication with them, and they'd told me time and time again that they would be leaving shortly but would never be far away from me. I knew they wouldn't go away from me forever.

I was sad, but they seemed very matter-of-fact that this is just part of the deal, so I accepted it as a natural part of what happens in life.

This experience comes back to me every time someone asks a question similar to yours. Do Angels have human emotions? I don't believe they do, but they can act as if they have emotions to show or teach us something.

Try to remember the circumstances surrounding your Guardian at the time. Was there something going on in your family that you needed to know or notice that you hadn't seen yet because you were too busy being a kid? That would explain the tears.

Someone appearing as a man (or any adult) shedding tears would make a big impression on a kid. This was most likely something he was doing in order to focus your attention on a matter you had ignored. Was there something you were missing? Even when we're children, our Angels have great expectations of us, and will try to show us the way.

The reason you didn't see him with your parents or again later on was because you naturally tried to show him to someone else, and he couldn't risk being seen by others.

The Angels assigned to us as babies never really leave us, but they do have a way of disappearing until we're ready and able to see them again, or otherwise tap into the guidance and advice they have for us.

I'm sure he has been near you all your life. I'm sure you've been guided by him many times when you haven't known it was happening at all. You've FELT his presence; you just haven't been able to manifest him in visible form since you were nine.

If you would like to do this, you must find a process that works for you. Often our Angels are happy to appear for us - all we have to do is ask. One of the easier ways to begin is by asking him to come to you in dreams. Once the two of you get that going, you can figure out where to go from there.

*****

Susyn:

Yes, I believe angels, spirit guides, and even whatever primary spiritual source we depend on (whether we call it God, the Universe or our Higher Power) all share a sense of empathy and understanding for human emotions.

It seems to make no difference whether they have spent time on the earth plane or not. It's my understanding that we are limited to one guardian angel, but are blessed with many other angels, spirit guides and benevolent entities who protect, guide and encourage us at various times in our lives.

At times we experience a connection with an angel or spirit guide who is actually a loved one who has crossed over from the earth plane as well. This may be why it appears that there are specific timeframes dictating how long they can be with us, what their purpose is, and when and if we are blessed to be able to see them, even if just for a moment.

Because there is no limit to how many angels or spiritual guides we may have, there are no doubt some who come and go depending on our needs. Your memory of this amazing angel can serve as a concrete reminder that you always have special protectors looking over your shoulder.

I believe that the feelings we experience are more than just simple human emotions: these emotions are the energetic bonds that connect us spiritually together, making the earth and spirit plane one. When we allow our emotions to flow openly and properly, whether they are pleasant or painful, that's when we experience the most profound connection to God, our own true selves, and the world around us.

When you consider the overwhelming power of love, for example, you know from experience that it can transform you and shake you to your core. Many describe it as the most incredible experience of their lives. To me, that kind of emotion is just a sampling of what we can feel on the spiritual plane, which means our guardian angels and spirit guides may experience emotions even more profoundly than we do!

Life seems to contain many good-byes from our loved ones both here in the physical and in Spirit. However, once some leave us, new ones come into our lives, so when some angels and spirit guides move on, we get new ones. This is much like getting a different teacher each year as we advance in our education.

What a gift to have this profound memory of this special guardian angel who still visits from time to time, like a favorite relative who just likes to check in with you. I have no doubt you'll see him again soon, when the time is right for you.

Astrea:

Many times in life we hear, "You will always have what you NEED, but not necessarily what you WANT." Your spirit must have needed to experience the feeling of leaving your human body, and the suggestion in the next chapter of Sylvia Brown's book was all it took to get you there.

Even though you hadn't read it yet, your SOUL recognized the title of that chapter as something it had been seeking, and your soul, knowing that you had that reference to read after your experience, got with it and out you went!

While I don't usually recommend her books, Sylvia Brown has a wide reaching and powerful effect on lots of people. A Gemini like you would be able to relate easily to her writing and put it to good use. Synchronicity - you gotta love it!

I like your description of "getting caught." That's exactly what it feels like, isn't it? One minute you're free and hovering above the room, and the next minute, ZAP! back down into your corporeal form you go!

As a little kid, I loved that "feeling of return." With practice, most of the time we can control that event, but sometimes, when our physical ears hear a distracting noise or something else occurs to knock us back into reality, back we go. With practice you will be able to control your return better.

I find it interesting that you were visiting your mother-in-law and not someone in your own genetic family. Evidently, you and your husband got married for reasons that are even deeper than love. His family's interest in "psychic stuff" will nurture your children in such matters and help them to grow into their own abilities.

You'll never have to be concerned that when your daughter visits them, she'll be discouraged from exploring her own psychic life and power. My parents encouraged me to develop my psychic senses in a time when it wasn't nice to even discuss such things in public. Heck, it's STILL not considered a great topic at the dinner table in some families!

Your kids will get to talk about it ALL and ask questions and read and study. This is going to give them such an edge in life! Talk with your husband about how you want to present this to your kiddos, so that you are united in your approach and ready to tell them their experiences are all natural and okay.

A word or two of warning: Geminis often have difficulty staying grounded in REAL LIFE. Don't get so strung out on your ASTRAL life that you neglect what you're doing here on Earth.

You are at the beginning of a long journey to learn where your power really lies. Try to be patient with this process and take your time.