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The Relief-5R Plan
An Excerpt from The Pain Solution by Saloni Sharma, MD

In many cases, the outcome you want will continue
to elude you — even if you try harder. But it may be possible if you try differently.
Can your current choices carry you to your desired future? If not, something has to change. You can’t get there from here.
You have to get on a different trajectory.
— James Clear

Modern life brims with little and big stressors, from never-ending phone notifications and late nights to the loss of a job or a devastating injury. These physical, mental, and emotional stressors intensify orthopaedic pain. They tighten our muscles, constrict blood vessels, and pinch nerves. When we are stressed, we become smaller, self-focused, and limited. Our bodies crumple into a ball of tension, inflammation, and pain, sometimes so bad that we have trouble standing up straight or walking.

The tools in this book can help you reduce painful inflammation and chronic stress in order to function and live better. What we fuel our bodies with today determines our future level of painful inflammation. Each bite of food, each movement, each response to stress, each sleep decision, and each social relationship can tip the balance toward or away from painful inflammation. Small, simple changes can add up to a big reduction in overall pain and inflammation, and a big increase in wellness. To understand how and why they work, let’s look at some of the root causes of pain and the ways our body and brain send and interpret pain signals.

Lower Back Pain and Arthritis (Joint) Pain
More than 60 million Americans have had a recent bout of back pain. The leading causes of back pain include muscle sprains, spasms, degenerative disc disease, disc herniations, nerve root pinching, spinal stenosis (arthritis), facet joint spondylosis (arthritis), bony misalignments, abnormal spinal curvatures, and fractures. Disc herniations are a common cause of back pain. Spinal discs act as rubbery shock absorbers between the vertebrae (the bones of the spine). We can think of them as being like jelly donuts, with thicker outer layers and gelatinous middles. If there is a tear in the outer layer, some of the gelatinous substance may leak out: this is called a herniation. If this rupture occurs near a nerve, it may irritate the nerve and cause symptoms such as leg pain, weakness, and numbness. Arthritic bone spurs and cysts can also pinch nerves and cause similar symptoms.

Other common sources of back pain are sacroiliac joint pain, bursitis, hip pain, piriformis syndrome, inflammatory arthritis, and widespread pain conditions like fibromyalgia. Some of these conditions can occur in combination. Other, less common forms of pain are related to conditions such as infection or cancer (and this is the reason that any ongoing pain must be evaluated by your physician).

With age, everybody develops some arthritic joint changes as a result of wear and tear, but these can be aggravated by physical stressors, injuries, obesity, and genetics. Another risk factor is metabolic syndrome, which is a cluster of inflammatory abnormalities, including abdominal obesity, high blood sugar, high cholesterol, and high blood pressure. As these risk factors increase, so do inflammatory levels. Inflammation leads to cartilage breakdown and bony overgrowth in the joints and spine. But typical
degenerative joint changes do not result in severe, debilitating pain for everybody, so what accounts for the difference? The answer is a combination of fuel and genetics. We cannot control aging or fully control our genetic risk factors, but we can control how we fuel our bodies.

Lumbar degenerative disc disease (wear and tear on the discs between our vertebrae) is one of the most commonly diagnosed causes of back pain and one for which treatment options are limited and often ineffective. Even the diagnosis of this pain is difficult, since it can be caused by multiple factors, including aging, injury, poor healing, and ongoing cellular stress. As with arthritis, certain risk factors are known to accelerate disc degeneration, such as physical trauma, carrying extra weight, smoking, infections, inflammation, metabolic conditions, and genetics. While most adults experience some disc degeneration, the extent of and, more important, the pain associated with this nearly universal phenomenon vary greatly. In particular, the degree of inflammation in the tissues surrounding the disc often determines the level of pain.

Furthermore, chronic painful inflammation changes our brains. It makes us more sensitive to pain: we are liable to feel pain even in response to light touch and to feel it beyond the injured area. Like a wildfire, painful inflammation can spread and grow stronger if it is left unchecked.

Fortunately, some of the risk factors for orthopaedic pain and inflammation are within our control, including daily food intake, activity level, sleep quality, mental stressors, and emotional stressors. To improve spine health and reduce pain, we must opt for real food, move more, use good ergonomics, sleep better, reduce stress, and focus on positive relationships. We can make these changes in bite-sized chunks and without time-consuming workouts, personal yoga instructors, or other costly or disruptive lifestyle changes.

Conventional pain treatment focuses on physical stress. Yet we know that mental and emotional stress worsen pain. Even without a definitive physical injury, mental and emotional stress can manifest as pain, spasms, and suffering. As an example, simply think about a corrupt politician, cutthroat coworker, or challenging family member. Picture the lines of their face, the sound of their voice, their negative words ringing in your ears, and the devastation caused by their actions. These thoughts may trigger tightness in your jaw, shoulders, or back. Your heart rate may quicken as your stress response flicks on.

Now take a big breath in and a longer breath out. Do this three more times. Then let out an audible, teenage-angst sigh. Now picture somebody you love — a family member, friend, mentor, or pet. Remember how you feel in their presence, the sound of their voice, and their warmth. You may notice some of the tightness melt away. This experience reminds us that the mind and body are not separate entities: what happens in the mind manifests in the body and vice versa. Simply put, all forms of stress contribute to inflammation and pain.

Saloni Sharma, MD, LAc, is double board-certified in pain management and rehabilitation medicine. She is the medical director and founder of the Orthopaedic Integrative Health Center at Rothman Orthopaedics and has treated thousands of patients. She is also cochair of Pain Management and Spine Rehabilitation for the American Academy of Physical Medicine and Rehabilitation. A popular speaker at Google and an award-winning clinical assistant professor at Thomas Jefferson University Hospital, she lives near Philadelphia. More information at www.salonisharmamd.com.

Excerpted from the book The Pain Solution: 5 Steps to Relieve and Prevent Back Pain, Muscle Pain, and Joint Pain. Copyright ©2022 by Saloni Sharma, MD. Printed with permission from New World Library.

I used to dream about my husband cheating on me a lot when we were younger. In the end, I was the one who ended up cheating. When I started cheating myself, I stopped dreaming about my husband cheating. When he learned about me cheating, he admitted that he had both cheated on me and tried to cheat on me multiple times. I feel like this makes us even. I do know that he would never have admitted to cheating on me if I hadn't cheated myself. I didn't hide my infidelity; we were having a lot of problems and I just didn't care if he knew or not. Here's my current dilemma: I feel like my husband is not cheating on me now, for we spend a lot of time together and things are going well. All of a sudden, however, the dreams about him cheating are back! We have four children and have been able to stick things out and forgive each other for what we did in the past in order to hold the family together. Things seem to be going well, but now that I'm having dreams of him cheating again, I wonder what is really going on. Since my dreams were right before, could they be trying to warn me again? Thank you!

Desiree

Susyn:

For some people, cheating is a type of addiction. Even though you have worked things out and have agreed not to cheat on each other again in the future, it could be that the urge to be unfaithful is something neither of you can control. I recommend you confront your husband and ask him directly if he is cheating. Once you know where things stand, you can work together to address the situation.

It is probably a good idea to trust your instincts, especially considering that your dreams were so accurate in the past. However, do keep in mind that dreams come in many forms. While they can be prophetic warnings, they can also simply be a way to process buried fears.

It is possible that the dream is only bringing up incidents from the past because you're afraid of that happening again, so instead of worrying about what may or may not be going on, your best defense is to ask your husband directly. If he denies the allegations, these dreams may just be bringing up unresolved issues you still carry about the stability of your marriage.

Whatever the case may be, I recommend you get some couples therapy. Though you have agreed to forgive each other and stick things out to hold your family together, it could benefit your common goal to enlist the aid of a professional. An objective third party can also help you process hidden feelings and any addictions that could be affecting the situation.

If the dreams of your husbandís cheating led to your own infidelity, a professional can help you examine your choices and choose a more constructive response in the future. It could be that this was your way of getting back at him because somewhere deep inside, you knew that what you were seeing in your dreams was the truth.

Ignoring our instincts often triggers revealing dreams. There was a part of you that knew something was going on, but because you had no proof, Spirit revealed the truth to you in a dream. Since it took your own cheating to get your husband to admit his infidelity, it sounds like your marriage is not working on many levels. Seeking the aid of a marriage counselor or therapist can help you get back on track.

You may also want to start a dream journal to keep track of other dreams you have that carry hidden truths. Because you have a sixth sense that speaks to you via your dreams, there could be other important messages your subconscious mind is trying to send you.

I wish you luck in sorting through the challenges you face in your marriage, Desiree. As long as you are both willing to work toward a solution, I'm sure you'll find a way to work things out.

*****

Mata:

Sadly, many of us trust what others tell us more than we trust our own instincts. I've met a number of people who suspected their spouse was cheating but dismissed those feelings because their spouse insisted they were innocent, only to find out later that their instincts were right all along.

When it comes to psychically sensing that someone is being dishonest, in my experience, where there's smoke, there's fire. When you get a feeling that something is going on, something is probably going on. When someone tells you something that just feels off somehow, that feeling is usually your intuition telling you to question what you're being told.

Our subconscious minds are constantly trying to help us. When we don't heed our intuition, we may receive information via our dreams.

Many times people who are diagnosed with a severe health issue are able to look back and in hindsight see that their dreams had been warning them of a growing problem for years. The same is true of relationships and all sorts of concerns. When you dreamed your husband was cheating years ago, on a subconscious level, you knew what he was up to but it was too difficult for you to deal with consciously.

Of course, it is very important not to jump to conclusions, especially since our dreams and our intuition tend to speak to us in symbols. While these dreams suggest that there is something happening that you don't want to happen, that doesn't necessarily mean your husband is literally being physically unfaithful.

I can think of many reasons why a wife may dream her husband is cheating. If he is somehow shirking his responsibilities around the house, she may dream that he is cheating because he is not doing his share. If he is confiding in someone else more than her - even if it's his mother or a guy friend - she may feel like he is emotionally cheating on her.

If he is doing things he knows she wouldn't like and trying to hide it, she may dream he is cheating even if what he is really doing is hanging out at the bar or blowing a lot of money at the casino. People who are married to workaholics, video gamers or couch potatoes may dream their spouse is cheating because the way they spend their time makes their partner feel like they are not number one.

To determine the nature of what's going on, ask yourself if you feel cheated in this relationship in general. Are you somehow getting less than you feel you deserve or hoped for? Of course, it would also be wise to tell him about these dreams and openly discuss your feelings, for that's the only way to build a truly solid marriage.

Astrea:

Many times in life we hear, "You will always have what you NEED, but not necessarily what you WANT." Your spirit must have needed to experience the feeling of leaving your human body, and the suggestion in the next chapter of Sylvia Brown's book was all it took to get you there.

Even though you hadn't read it yet, your SOUL recognized the title of that chapter as something it had been seeking, and your soul, knowing that you had that reference to read after your experience, got with it and out you went!

While I don't usually recommend her books, Sylvia Brown has a wide reaching and powerful effect on lots of people. A Gemini like you would be able to relate easily to her writing and put it to good use. Synchronicity - you gotta love it!

I like your description of "getting caught." That's exactly what it feels like, isn't it? One minute you're free and hovering above the room, and the next minute, ZAP! back down into your corporeal form you go!

As a little kid, I loved that "feeling of return." With practice, most of the time we can control that event, but sometimes, when our physical ears hear a distracting noise or something else occurs to knock us back into reality, back we go. With practice you will be able to control your return better.

I find it interesting that you were visiting your mother-in-law and not someone in your own genetic family. Evidently, you and your husband got married for reasons that are even deeper than love. His family's interest in "psychic stuff" will nurture your children in such matters and help them to grow into their own abilities.

You'll never have to be concerned that when your daughter visits them, she'll be discouraged from exploring her own psychic life and power. My parents encouraged me to develop my psychic senses in a time when it wasn't nice to even discuss such things in public. Heck, it's STILL not considered a great topic at the dinner table in some families!

Your kids will get to talk about it ALL and ask questions and read and study. This is going to give them such an edge in life! Talk with your husband about how you want to present this to your kiddos, so that you are united in your approach and ready to tell them their experiences are all natural and okay.

A word or two of warning: Geminis often have difficulty staying grounded in REAL LIFE. Don't get so strung out on your ASTRAL life that you neglect what you're doing here on Earth.

You are at the beginning of a long journey to learn where your power really lies. Try to be patient with this process and take your time.