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January 18 through January 24, 2021

The Sun moves into Aquarius on Tuesday, ushering out the diligent vibes of Capricorn and instilling us with expanded vision, innovative ideas, and a longing to make sweeping changes over the next 30 days. An Aries Moon showcases the start of the workweek, inspiring us into action Monday through Wednesday, which will definitely prove to be our most productive days of the week. Thursday and Friday are ideal for physical activities and projects, financial concerns, and addressing health issues as the Moon marches through grounded Taurus. When the Moon moves into Gemini on Saturday, the weekend will be all about communication, electronics, updating your social media, and reaching out to people you’ve lost touch with. Whether you’re surfing the information highway or chatting the hours away on the phone with loved ones, you can be sure that intellectual pursuits and fun will be at the top of your list!

Q and A with Elisa Romeo, MFT & Adam Foley
Authors of Holy Love: The Essential Guide to Soul-Fulfilling Relationships

Our deepest common human desire is to be met deeply, intimately and with unconditional love. Why is it, then, that what we most yearn for is one of the most elusive things to find and sustain?

In Holy Love: The Essential Guide to Soul-Fulfilling, authors Elisa Romeo and Adam Foley say that the problem is that many of us have lost connection with the authentic and unconditional part of ourselves — the Soul. How can we connect with another on a soulful level if we do not understand ourselves personally and intimately on a Soul level? How can we find a soul mate if we can’t see and feel our own Soul?

These questions are at the heart of Holy Love, which offers readers an invitation to profound growth, fulfilling love, and radical self-discovery via a groundbreaking method designed to transform any relationship into a spiritual path of awakening. We hope you’ll enjoy this Q & A with Elisa and Adam about the book.

What is the definition of ‘love,’ or as you put it, “Holy Love?”

When we speak about Holy Love, we are referring to a love that is not built upon projection. Most people think they are ‘in love’ when they are ‘in projection.’ It feels really great for a while, until the projection pops or fades, and then it can feel horrible, as if we never knew who the other person was at all. Projection is when we are incapable of seeing the other person’s personality or Soul standing before us. Just like a movie projector, we only see them through our own interpretation, which is filtered through personal traumas, beliefs and societal programs. Love is having the courage to open the heart and stay in the body while the energy of expansion melts old projections that hold deep fear and psychological landmines of misunderstanding and miscommunication.

What is the difference between someone’s personality and someone’s Soul?

The personality is the part of us that is inherent, but it is also shaped by the events and programming of our lives. The Soul is our essence — the unchanging, eternal and all-loving part of ourselves. The Soul has access to a higher and wider interpretation of our lives and is always available for guidance and healing. The Soul is our true nature and true love originates on a Soul level. People are often disappointed in their relationships because they do not feel seen and met on a Soul level. They become frustrated by the limitations of relationship but they have never understood themselves in their true nature. It is a huge misunderstanding and major part of why so many people experience unfulfilling relationships. Holy Love asks, “How can we find our Soul mate if we don’t know ourselves first, as Souls?” The book gives the clear map of precisely how to get there and finally be met in our relationships in a fulfilling and meaningful way.

You say that relationships serve as training for how to ‘become love.’ Is this true for challenging relationships and those relationships we would describe as ‘bad’ or having failed?

It is especially true with the relationships that we feel failed or would call bad. We see the ‘earth school,’ as some call it, as Love University. It is through our challenging, hard or unfulfilling moments and relationships that we get real clarity of what Love is and isn’t. This gives us information on how to grow, expand, and evolve.

You say that many of us are unprepared for Holy Love because we expect love to rescue us, when love actually is a crucible. What do you mean by that?

A crucible is a trial or test that is so powerful that we are forever transformed by going through it. Our human relationships are not built to be an on-command wet-nurse of comfort for our pouting inner child. We need to evolve our relationships developmentally so are able to view conflict as an opportunity to become Love itself. Instead of getting resentful that the mere human before us cannot always resolve all of our inner pain, we expand to more of our own potential and discover them beyond our personal demands. This is how the experience of human relationship and Love becomes a powerful, transformative spiritual path. There are few things that bring us more pain and suffering than relationships and our attachment wounds. It is the realm of relationship, which brings radical potential for spiritual growth. Love is a way to find comfort and companionship, which Holy Love does this as well. And it is also SO much more, in that it also serves as the portal to introduce ourselves to an often inaccessible, newly activated, part of ourselves, which is our Soul.

Is Holy Love applicable for single people and other relationships besides intimate partnerships?

Oh yes. Holy Love is a relational state in which we enter. That relationship can be internal with our Higher Self and the Divine, or external with another. Many nuns and monks are incredible examples of living Holy Love. Some of the most important relationships to practice Holy Love are with our children, our families, our neighbors, and, especially, our enemies. When we see someone as an enemy we are incapable of seeing their Soul. We believe this work is crucial and has the potential to bring radical peace and healing to the world. When we see ourselves as inherently connected to the “opposing team” we are much more interested in being creative with cooperation, empathy, and finding sustainable solutions.

What is Soul Journaling/Dialoguing and why is it so important?

Soul journaling is the practice of building the second spiritual relationship between your ego and your Soul. Through this practice, we learn to humble the ego and open and receive information from the wise and loving higher self, the Soul. Soul journaling is a spiritual workout just like going to the gym is for physical muscles. It is a regular practice to consistently practice raising our brain state from beta to theta, thereby building that crucial inner ‘listening muscle.’ This builds a conscious relationship with our Soul so that we can really tell the difference between projections and intuition. Another way of explaining it is being able to discern the voice of ego from the voice of Soul. If we practice this regularly, the muscle gets so strong that intuition doesn’t just happen to us when we are lucky or feeling good. We can hear our Soul when in a crisis, caught in a psychological complex or deep within a depression to help us navigate.

What is the most important thing you hope readers will take away from Holy Love?

I think the most important thing is that humans are made to do this work. It may seem intimidating at first, but our nature is Love. Becoming conscious of ourselves as Love is our spiritual birthright. Ultimately, it takes more energy to not become Holy Love. We spend unconscious energy resisting our authentic selves everyday. With Holy Love, we become aware of how and where we are doing that, so we can spend less energy resisting our true nature and more time enjoying the benefits of being conscious of who we are as Love. We don’t need to do anything to awaken. We just need to stop our addiction and habitual programming to unawakening. Then we naturally find ourselves in Holy Love.

Elisa Romeo, MFT, and Adam Foley are the authors of Holy Love: The Essential Guide to Soul-Fulfilling Relationships and cohosts of the Holy & Human Podcast.  Together, they help individuals awaken and deepen their soulful nature within relationship. Visit them online at holyandhuman.com.

Excerpted from the book from Holy Love: The Essential Guide to Soul-Fulfilling Relationships. Copyright ©2022 by Elisa Romeo, MFT, and Adam Foley. Printed with permission from New World Library.

I had a rather strange, disturbing dream that I'm hoping you can help me interpret. In the dream, my late grandfather came to me. He didn't say anything; in fact, he didn't even greet me. He just looked at me with a worried look on his face and he seemed a bit lonely. I miss him so much, for he was more than my grandfather - he was also my best friend. What do you make of this dream, and what can I do to determine its significance? Thank you!

Hiwot

Astrea:

Many times when we dream about our loved ones living or on the Spirit Plane, they don't speak to us verbally, for much communication in dreams occurs telepathically. Depending on how long your grandfather has been departed, he may not speak to you for many dreams, and when he does, you may hear him differently than you did when he was living.

My grandfather never speaks to me in dreams but we understand each other. This is after many years of practice on my part. He is still the same as he's always been: He was pretty quiet when he was alive too, though he did talk to us and teach us things.

You're smart to pay attention to your grandfather's facial expressions because that's how he's teaching you to understand him. The only thing he is worried about is that you don't hear him yet. The next time you dream of him, try to tell him in words that you can't understand what he's trying to tell you.

You'll dream of him again. Over time, you may experience waves when you dream of him often or know he is there, and periods when he doesn't seem to be around as much. You might devote a dream journal to just the dreams you have of him. Then you may begin to recognize the other dreams he is sending you to show you things about other family members and important events in your life.

Even though he is no longer physically present, you can forever call on him for help. If he can't talk to you one way, he'll find another way in time. The two of you were too close when he was living to let that bond be broken now.

Perhaps he looks sad and lonely because he is still figuring things out too. I find that it takes at least a year for newly departed spirits to feel entirely comfortable coming back to us, for they don't want to upset us.

First they don't want to frighten us, and then they worry that we may think we're about to join them. I'm sure he's sad because he sees how sad YOU are and he doesn't want you to keep grieving.

We miss our loved ones who can't pick up the phone or drive over to see us any longer, but they're all still there. Mine swear to me that they don't ever see me do anything bad or embarrassing, so don't worry about anything like that!

I'm happy that he loves you enough to come to you. It takes a lot of energy from the spirit world to be present with us, just like it takes a lot of energy for us to miss them the way we do. The more you understand how alike the living and the departed are, the easier it will be for you to continue to communicate with your best friend.

*****

Susyn:

Dreams can carry powerful messages, especially when they involve our loved ones who have crossed over to the other side. In fact, dreams are one of the most effective ways spirits can visit us to let us know that they are okay and remind us that they are watching over us. You don't mention how long ago your grandfather passed away, but the basic message of the dream is clear: He loves you and misses you.

These types of dreams can be unsettling if we feel that our loved ones seem worried or sad. It's possible that because he was your best friend, he knows you better than most. Perhaps if you journal about this dream and review the things that are going on in your life currently, you may be able to identify areas of concern or directions in which you are moving that may not be in your best interests.

Even though your grandfather didn't appear to speak to you in this dream, the emotions you feel about it are sending a strong message that he is concerned for your well-being. Because it can be difficult to try to manifest another dream about him (dreams seem to have minds of their own), you may want to engage in some guided meditation to see if you can learn more.

Sit quietly in a place where you can meditate and call in his spirit. Light some white candles, burn sage or musk incense, and if you like, play some of his favorite music in the background. You might also want to place a photograph of him in front of you or hold one of his possessions. Together, these actions will align your intention to talk specifically with him.

Next, just begin to converse with him in your head or out loud. Ask him why he looked so worried in your dream and if he is lonely. Tell him how much you miss him. Then sit in the silence and wait.

Oftentimes our loved ones on the other side will let us know they are near by way of a sensation of touch, a favorite aroma, or ideally messages that come into our minds that we can identify as being from them.

If your meditation doesn't seem to answer your questions, you might consider consulting a psychic. Most reputable psychics possess keen dream interpretation abilities, and some may be able to channel your loved ones on the other side.

Your sense that your grandfather seemed sad or lonely in the dream is probably accurate. When our loved ones cross over, they miss us as much as we miss them. If your overall interpretation is that he is also worried about you, employing one of the above methods should clarify his concerns and reveal how you can allay them.

Astrea:

Many times in life we hear, "You will always have what you NEED, but not necessarily what you WANT." Your spirit must have needed to experience the feeling of leaving your human body, and the suggestion in the next chapter of Sylvia Brown's book was all it took to get you there.

Even though you hadn't read it yet, your SOUL recognized the title of that chapter as something it had been seeking, and your soul, knowing that you had that reference to read after your experience, got with it and out you went!

While I don't usually recommend her books, Sylvia Brown has a wide reaching and powerful effect on lots of people. A Gemini like you would be able to relate easily to her writing and put it to good use. Synchronicity - you gotta love it!

I like your description of "getting caught." That's exactly what it feels like, isn't it? One minute you're free and hovering above the room, and the next minute, ZAP! back down into your corporeal form you go!

As a little kid, I loved that "feeling of return." With practice, most of the time we can control that event, but sometimes, when our physical ears hear a distracting noise or something else occurs to knock us back into reality, back we go. With practice you will be able to control your return better.

I find it interesting that you were visiting your mother-in-law and not someone in your own genetic family. Evidently, you and your husband got married for reasons that are even deeper than love. His family's interest in "psychic stuff" will nurture your children in such matters and help them to grow into their own abilities.

You'll never have to be concerned that when your daughter visits them, she'll be discouraged from exploring her own psychic life and power. My parents encouraged me to develop my psychic senses in a time when it wasn't nice to even discuss such things in public. Heck, it's STILL not considered a great topic at the dinner table in some families!

Your kids will get to talk about it ALL and ask questions and read and study. This is going to give them such an edge in life! Talk with your husband about how you want to present this to your kiddos, so that you are united in your approach and ready to tell them their experiences are all natural and okay.

A word or two of warning: Geminis often have difficulty staying grounded in REAL LIFE. Don't get so strung out on your ASTRAL life that you neglect what you're doing here on Earth.

You are at the beginning of a long journey to learn where your power really lies. Try to be patient with this process and take your time.