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March 20 through March 26, 2023

Happy Astrological New Year! The Sun will move into Aries on Monday and revive us on every level. As we cast off the watery vibes of Pisces, we'll be entering a cycle of creativity, inspiration, and assertive action. The next four weeks will prove fruitful and exciting as we enter a new season and year and prepare for new beginnings. To add to the fun, the Aries new Moon on Tuesday kicks off another round of potential and fresh starts. The second big event of the week is Pluto's entry into Aquarius on Thursday. The last time Pluto changed signs was in 2008, so this shift is introducing a profound karmic cycle that puts us on a path to a new paradigm! We'll begin to see new inventions and global events taking shape that lead us forward. Based on the fact that a major stellium occurs on this same day (Venus, the Moon, Jupiter, Mercury, the Sun, and Neptune all in close proximity of each other), this could be the most profound astrological event of the year, if not the decade! So fasten your seat belts! The third major shift of the week occurs when Mars moves into Cancer on Saturday. Cancer can tone down the assertive energy of Mars, as it promotes family, home, and fertility. So the focus of the next two months will have us looking within and at our immediate surroundings and relationships.

Dreaming Beyond: 7 Tips for Connecting with Your Departed Loved Ones Through Your Dreams, by Linda Yael Schiller

(Article originally published in The Llewellyn Journal.)

After the question, "What does my dream mean?" the most common question that I get as a dreamworker is, "Can I connect with my departed relatives through my dreams?" Even the most intrepid "dreams-mean-nothing" dreamers ask about this. Last week I was talking with Mia, my hairdresser, about a Dream Salon we are going to do at her hair studio to help get word out about both the power of dreamwork and my book, Modern Dreamwork: New Tools for Decoding Your Soul's Wisdom. Her husband, also a stylist there, overheard us and joined the conversation saying, "I don't dream, and I don't think they mean anything anyhow, but if I did I would want to see my mom again. She died 5 years ago." After extending my condolences, I shared with him that actually, everyone dreams every night, but we don't always remember them. We all have 5-7 REM cycles ("rapid eye movements," which have been shown through PET scans to indicate when we are dreaming), but we tend to remember only the ones we have when we first wake up. However, if we don't write them down or record them in some way, we forget those as well. Dreams are as gossamer as wisps of mist or smoke.

I continued by letting him know that if he wanted to have a visit from his mom, it was highly likely that he could have one, and he could start by a) wanting to have her visit, b) believing that it was possible, and c) inviting her over. "Sometimes our beloveds are right there, and just waiting for an invitation before they come for a visit," I told him.

These first steps help us to set the stage for a nocturnal visit. The veil between worlds may be thinner while we are asleep, and the spirits of our departed loved ones may have an easier time contacting us then, especially if given an invitation to pave the way. When the conscious censoring parts of our minds that say things like, "That couldn't happen," or, "That can't be real" are tucked in for the night, our wider collective mind and our personal unconscious and soul-mind are free to journey to other places and realms during unguarded moments such as our dream states. When asked whether he felt that our dream life was as real as our waking life, Thomas Moore, author of Care of the Soul, answered: "Very real, maybe even more so." When Dorothy returned to Kansas at the end of her journey to Oz, her Auntie Em told her, "It was just a dream, dear." To which Dorothy responds, "No, Auntie Em, it was a very real place," and would not be convinced otherwise. After all, she had just been there.

Our mythic stories often contain the seeds of our deeper truths. Mythos, legend, fairy tales, and modern film and fantasy all contain allusions or references to connecting across time and space and the veil between life and afterlife. In Greek myth, Orpheus journeys to the underworld to attempt to retrieve his beloved Persephone. Harry Potter periodically receives messages of love and support from his deceased mother that help to sustain him through his many trials.

Tibetan tradition teaches that there is a Bardo state between worlds where the spirits of our loved ones can rest on their transition to their final destination, and also where we may be able to join. Indigenous peoples such as the Anishinaabe hold ceremonies to invite the spirits of their departed loved ones in to teach, guide, and heal. Mexican tradition has an annual Day of the Dead, where not only are gravesites tended with feasts and flowers, but dead relatives are greeted, acknowledged, and conversed with.

In the internationally popular movie Fiddler on the Roof, Tevye needs to convince his wife Golde that they should allow their daughter Tzeitel to marry her beloved Motel the tailor, rather than Lazar Wolf to whom she was betrothed. To get his wife to agree to this plan, he pretends that Goldie's beloved deceased grandma had appeared to him in a dream to give her blessing to this new idea of a love match. Tevye knew the power of dreams for his wife, and that a dream-visit with a message from the other side would have an unarguable impact on her. So, taking no chances, in his fabricated dream scene, Tevye wakes up Goldie and reports what he had been "told" in a dream by her grandma: That she is giving her blessing to the match. Tevye's ploy of reporting visits from beyond the grave finally convinced Goldie of the validity of this newfangled plan of marrying for love. This was the most powerful message for Golde, and although her husband told a white lie in the service of allowing his daughter to marry the man of her own dreams, there was no doubt for either him or Golde that a visit from beyond the grave was a possible and viable experience.

Dreaming of a loved one after their death almost universally brings a sense of peace and comfort to the dreamer, as well as an opportunity to put closure on any unfinished business that might be lingering in the relationship before the death. Sometimes our loved ones come as themselves, or sometimes we can recognize them in another form as they come to comfort us in our sleeping or our waking dream states. When my dad died, my mother reported that after a few days had passed, then every day for a full week, a bright red male cardinal came and tapped at her bedroom window. She knew in her soul that it was her beloved Bud coming to connect. Never before had this happened, and she was immensely comforted by this waking dream visit. Now whenever anyone in my family sees a cardinal, we all say, "Hi Dad, so nice to see you!"

My first dream visitation from a departed beloved actually came from my cat Ashorka. She came to visit in a dream I had a few months after her death. In it, she assured me that she was happy and would be a guide to me when my time came to cross over as well. She was one of the lucky ones—she died peacefully in her sleep at the ripe old cat age of sixteen years. She is my role model for a good death. In her life I referred to her as a gray Buddha in a fur suit, and her name actually came to me in a dream about a cat gazing deeply into my eyes when we first brought her home from the shelter. She was frequently my co-therapist and would slip down to my office and do therapy with me. She seemed to have an innate understanding of who needed their leg rubbed or a warm, furry visitor in their lap at just the right moment.

I wonder if it is easier for animals to cross over these thresholds, since they do not seem limited by our view of what is "real" or not. And perhaps the animals and their people continue to share a soul connection after they depart, as well as in life, particularly in the case of our animal familiars, a Wiccan term, or daemons, and term made popular by the Golden Compass series of books.

Let us now look more closely at how we can connect with our departed, and then how we can recognize and differentiate a "visitation" from a dream where Grandma or Dad feature as a dream character. The following are a series of steps or states of being I have found useful in connecting with departed loved ones:

1. 1. Bring clearly into your consciousness that you have a desire to connect, a desire for that visit. We tend to attract into our lives that which we look for and pay attention to, and it works for this goal, as well. Say it out loud, or write it in your dream journal before going to sleep. It can be very simple: "I'd like to connect with my husband."
   2. If you are a skeptic, bring in that "willing suspension of disbelief." Allow yourself to not only want to connect with your mom or sister, but allow that it is possible. If necessary, you can tell yourself that since none of us know for sure what happens after we die, it is just as likely as not that the soul retains the energetic imprint of our loved one even after the body is gone.
   3. Extend an invitation. In life, if we want a friend or family member to come over for dinner or a party, we generally have to extend an invitation first. The same may be true for our friends and family in the spirit realm: they may be hanging around simply waiting to be invited first. My instincts tell me to give the departed at least a few weeks to get settled after the death of their body before requesting a visit, however.
   4. Learn to recognize what is a dream. A dream can be the images we see or the stories we have while asleep. It can also be a sensation, or a feeling, or even a scent. Tom smelled his wife's perfume one night in his dream and knew she had visited. Those in-between zones between waking and sleeping, and then between sleep and wakefulness, Carl Jung called the hypnopompic and the hypnogogic zones. These are also valid dream states. And finally, some dreams come to us while we are wide awake, such as my mom's cardinal visitation. One hallmark of a visitation dream is that is feels very real.
   5. Stay with it. Don't give up if you don't get a response right away. You may need to incubate a dream inviting or requesting a visit for several nights or weeks before getting a response. Incubating a dream means setting an intention of what you would like to dream about before you go to sleep at night, and often writing it out in your dream journal or saying it out loud to give it strength. This method can be used for many issues, dilemmas, or requests. My book Modern Dreamwork: New Tools for Decoding Your Soul's Wisdom devotes a whole chapter to this. Know too that spiritual beings have "a life of their own," and may not be available to simply come when you call.
   6. People can show up in our dreams as a metaphor or a symbol for something, or as a visitor from the other side. Some dreams are processing or release dreams; they help us to grieve and process our feelings of loss and sadness. To differentiate, in a visit there is often a visceral or physical element that is not there when it is symbolic. You may feel a physical sensation or a smell a scent, as Tom did. I hear the tone and timbre of my dad's voice when he visits as if he were in the room speaking with me. My dream circle member Margo could feel her mom hugging her. The energetic quality of the person may be there, whether they have come as themselves or in animal spirit form. These dreams are often very vivid.

Finally, there seems to be a consensus that a feeling of deep connection and awe or joy exists in a visitation dream. Often there is little storyline to this type of dream; the connection and bonding is the main event. They frequently leave a lasting impression and the dreamer wakes with strong emotions

Usually, the deceased will seem happy, healthy, and perhaps younger than they were when they passed. They may come bearing a message for you, to clear up any unfinished business on earth, or simply to assure you they are still with you. It is an opportunity to get greater closure, and the dreamer may feel profoundly changed by the experience. They may visit just once, on anniversary occasions, or whenever you call. There is no right or wrong way to dream or to establish this connection. May you have the connection you are seeking, and may your dreams bring you the comfort of coming home.

Article originally published in The Llewellyn Journal. Copyright Llewellyn Worldwide, 2019. All rights reserved.

How can my spirit guides help me handle my grief and depression over the loss of my son? My son's first birthday would have been a few days ago. I thought I was handling his death fairly well, but now I seem to be slipping into a very dark period and I'm not sure how to help myself. I know my spirit guides can help me, but I don't know how.

Angel

Susyn:

Few things are more challenging than living with the loss of a child. You have my heartfelt condolences. To cope with your grief, I believe it would be most helpful for to you to gain understanding of why his time on earth was so brief.

A few years ago, I attended a seminar held by an author who had penned a version of The Tibetan Book of the Dead. He relayed a fascinating story about a couple who took a trip to India accompanied by their two-year-old son. While visiting a temple there, the toddler suddenly collapsed and died on the steps. In their grief, the parents sought out the priest of this temple. To explain to them what had happened, the priest told them that in a past life, their son had fulfilled all his wishes save one: to visit this particular temple. Once he was in the temple, his mission was complete, so his spirit left his body at that exact time and place.

It is helpful to remember that there is a higher plan at work and that we enter each incarnation for specific purposes. Even though his life was a short one, I am certain there were many joys and lessons your son brought to you while he was here, and that you continue to learn valuable things about him, yourself and Spirit as a result of his passing.

You can take comfort in the fact that he chose you to be his mother, for he knew that you would be the perfect person to nurture and protect him and then allow him to pass when the time was right. When these moments of sadness overtake you, try to view them as further gifts from him, for these strong emotions are designed to expand your awareness and understanding of the plan Spirit has for each of us.

If you'd like to know more about what his specific purpose was and why he had to leave so soon, I recommend you contact a psychic who specializes in channeling. I believe that our loved ones send us signs from the spirit world, and that the more open we are to receiving these signs, the more will appear. When your grief feels like too much to bear, remember that your son is trying to comfort you from beyond, and ask for signs from him. Unlike your spirit guides, he is your own special angel. He is at peace now and wants the same for you, so he will try to bring you comfort and lead you to understanding.

Though this may not make sense to those of us here in the physical, it's possible that he felt he could better serve you in spirit form. The good news is that your son lives on in your heart and memories. Since your spiritual bond is eternal, you are sure to be reunited one day.

*****

Oceania:

I'm so very sorry for your loss, and I'm glad you reached out to us for support. That means you're already on the path of healing. Please know that it's normal that your son's birthday stirred up your grief again, for holidays and milestones tend to do that.

You're right: your spirit guides can and will help you. As for how, those three letters - H-O-W - suggest the answer: by being Humble, Open and Willing. Your guides may have inspired you to reach out and write to us, and I'm sure they will lead you to other forms of support. For starters, it would be extremely helpful for you to participate in a support group for bereaved parents, for we often receive messages from Spirit and our guides through the words of other people.

There are also things that you can do to feel better and move through your grief with greater ease. Be extra gentle with yourself. Nurture and pamper yourself during this vulnerable time. Welcome your feelings; don't judge, minimize or try to get rid of them. Embrace and sit with them for as long as you need to. Take your time.

When we try to escape painful feelings, we interrupt our natural healing process. We become depressed and shut down because it takes a tremendous amount of energy to hold back feelings. Our thoughts darken, we feel fatigued, and nothing seems enjoyable. This is because we have shut down our feeling system. Instead, give yourself permission to sob, wail, scream, pound the bed with your fists, tear up a phone book, grunt, shake and tremble, curl up in a ball and hide in the corner. These are ways of experiencing and expressing your feelings. Anything goes as long as you do not harm yourself, others, or property you might later regret destroying.

I'm certain your baby is one of your angels. You had a precious visit with him for a while. Now, talk directly to him and say how you feel. Trust that he and your other guides hear your pleas, and are already responding. Open your heart to receiving their signs, nudges and cosmic hugs.

Shakespeare's most beloved plays include silly comedies and gut-wrenching tragedies. Audiences do not favor one above the other, for both are needed to reflect the full spectrum of human experience. Be in your dark period because that's what is authentic and real today, and rest assured that you won't get stuck there. Grief comes in waves that over time become less frequent, less intense, and shorter in duration. Life will carry you as you spiral through her many cycles: winter and summer, night and day, grief and joy, goodbye and hello.

Astrea:

Many times in life we hear, "You will always have what you NEED, but not necessarily what you WANT." Your spirit must have needed to experience the feeling of leaving your human body, and the suggestion in the next chapter of Sylvia Brown's book was all it took to get you there.

Even though you hadn't read it yet, your SOUL recognized the title of that chapter as something it had been seeking, and your soul, knowing that you had that reference to read after your experience, got with it and out you went!

While I don't usually recommend her books, Sylvia Brown has a wide reaching and powerful effect on lots of people. A Gemini like you would be able to relate easily to her writing and put it to good use. Synchronicity - you gotta love it!

I like your description of "getting caught." That's exactly what it feels like, isn't it? One minute you're free and hovering above the room, and the next minute, ZAP! back down into your corporeal form you go!

As a little kid, I loved that "feeling of return." With practice, most of the time we can control that event, but sometimes, when our physical ears hear a distracting noise or something else occurs to knock us back into reality, back we go. With practice you will be able to control your return better.

I find it interesting that you were visiting your mother-in-law and not someone in your own genetic family. Evidently, you and your husband got married for reasons that are even deeper than love. His family's interest in "psychic stuff" will nurture your children in such matters and help them to grow into their own abilities.

You'll never have to be concerned that when your daughter visits them, she'll be discouraged from exploring her own psychic life and power. My parents encouraged me to develop my psychic senses in a time when it wasn't nice to even discuss such things in public. Heck, it's STILL not considered a great topic at the dinner table in some families!

Your kids will get to talk about it ALL and ask questions and read and study. This is going to give them such an edge in life! Talk with your husband about how you want to present this to your kiddos, so that you are united in your approach and ready to tell them their experiences are all natural and okay.

A word or two of warning: Geminis often have difficulty staying grounded in REAL LIFE. Don't get so strung out on your ASTRAL life that you neglect what you're doing here on Earth.

You are at the beginning of a long journey to learn where your power really lies. Try to be patient with this process and take your time.