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December 16 through December 22, 2024

We may feel like hiding out from the world on Monday and Tuesday as the Moon travels through emotional Cancer, but stepping back from the chaos could be a good thing! We’ll be back on track Wednesday and Thursday under a Leo Moon, and be able to catch up with anything that fell through the cracks at the start of the week, so don’t worry! A Virgo Moon hangs overhead Friday and Saturday, making this the ideal time to get organized and ready for the celebrations ahead. The Sun will move into Capricorn on Saturday, marking the official season of Winter (Summer in the southern hemisphere) and generating a four-week cycle of grounded movement and security-conscious actions. We can take a breather on Sunday as the Moon drifts through balancing Libra and helps us restore order to our thoughts as well as our physical worlds.

Applied Meditation: How to Make Changes in Your Everyday Life with Meditation, by A. Paul Miller, PhD

(Article originally published in The Llewellyn Journal.)

Do you meditate? Or, do you wonder why people bother with meditation? After all, most of us are not concerned with reaching some higher plane of existence or gaining some "special powers." We have relationships to maintain, jobs to perform, and bills to pay. Meditation does provide us with some tranquil time, but we still have to function in this world—and cannot, therefore, go floating around in some "la-la" frame of mind. So, what does meditation really provide us? What if, we are able to not only reach our personal meditative goals, but also see the growth and change that is actively occurring?

If I, personally, were to have a personal growth goal, it would be about connecting with more peace and fulfillment in my life. So, how do I achieve that? How can my meditative practice help me to get them pragmatically? I want to be able to do it in a targeted way and not just left to the winds of fate...but how?

It seems like, even after thousands of years of teachings by enlightened beings, we are still living at the whim of our internal baggage. I wanted a practical, accessible meditation technique that worked within my daily life, and that did not entail spending extended time in a forest or ashram—but how? These where the questions I asked myself as I set about trying to create a method for finding more peace and fulfillment in my life—which, once developed, I called Applied Meditation.

What is Applied Meditation? I mean actively using our meditative practice to make pragmatic, trackable changes in our lives, rather than only passively by just doing the practice of meditation.

Many years ago I was in a very difficult place in my life. I had just been laid off from my engineering job, and needed to get my stress levels back down to a normal level. (The fact that I even had these thoughts about stress levels is a damning statement about how we are living our lives today.) I had heard that meditation was a way to lower stress levels, so I started my quest to learn how to do it.

Never quite sure what a successful meditation was supposed to "feel" like, I tried several techniques to experience that "magic feeling" that everybody seems to talk about. The problem was that I had no idea what I was supposed to be feeling. Was it "floaty?" Present (whatever that is supposed to feel like)? Peaceful? Calm? Still (which, for the life of me, I had no idea what was supposed to feel like)? So I went back to the basics, to find a practice that held my attention enough that my mind did not keep wandering off. In this case it was focusing on a candle flame. After trying this for a couple of weeks I noticed that I felt very different inside after meditating. I wanted to understand what it was that I was feeling, so I sat down and asked myself how would I describe how I feel inside to someone else. By asking myself that question it helped me to get a more tangible connection to the feelings. I avoided words like "good," "nice," "better," and "relaxed," as they were too generic and could easily apply to how I felt with a tub of ice cream or a bar of chocolate. After experiencing the feelings over several practices I concluded that I felt peaceful, calm, and...there was another feeling, what was it? My mind was not racing; in fact, it felt like someone had just pushed the pause button on it. I asked myself, how does my mind feel? What does "pause" feel like? As I sat there trying to pick a word to describe the feeling, it suddenly hit me—still! Wow, this is what stillness felt like! I then wondered, had I just succeeded in meditating "correctly?" I thought about it for a bit, and then decided that it did not matter—the point was that I felt as though I was in a much better place with my feelings. I wanted a catchy phrase to describe these feelings so that in my journal I could refer to them without having to keep writing out all three descriptions. I thought about it for a few days and came up the phrase, "the Meditative Feeling." (Yes, that was as good a description as any, I thought.)

So, I now had a technique that helped me to create this new "space" inside myself where I was more at peace with myself and the world around me. However, I noticed that after a short time I went back into my old, discordant mode of how I thought, behaved, and felt. At this point I wondered, what was the point of meditating? Sure, I felt good while I was doing it, but it only lasted for a short time. So what was the point of it all? Then, the logical, engineering part of me came to the fore. I thought to myself, what if I were to treat the Meditative Feeling as a platform for change? I knew that while I was experiencing the Meditative Feeling my perceptions of myself and the world were less judgmental, and that I felt more resilient against the chaotic, tidal flow of the world around me. There must be a way that I can use this feeling to make active, tangible changes in my life rather than the passive ones that would come from just doing the practice of meditation.

There had to be a way that I could use this Meditative Feeling. I just had to sit down, contemplate a bit, and logically figure it out. These became my first few steps into the development of the Applied Meditation process.

The first consideration was how to maintain the feeling—that is, the Meditative Feeling—outside of the practice. If not, all I'd be doing was trying to change but doing so with my old discordant thoughts and feelings, which would feel the same as trying to push wet spaghetti up a hill. So, I needed a place and time when I was not having to rush to do anything after the practice. I decided that mediating on a morning at home was a good starting point. I would practice for ten minutes, first thing, and then get on with the rest of my day. I did not need any longer, as I could create the Meditative Feeling within that time. However, if I wanted to stay longer with the feeling, I would just stay there and enjoy it, but the primary goal was to simply create it. I made it into a game. Do my practice and then get ready for work or do a few odd jobs around the apartment, checking in with myself to see if I still felt the Meditative Feeling. In the beginning it would only be for a few minutes. I would write this down in my journal, and over a period of several weeks, noticed I was holding the feeling for almost ninety minutes. This was fun!

It was all well and good holding the feeling while in the comfort of my apartment, but I needed to be able to hold it when the world was getting in my face, whether that was on a busy freeway or some place else. I called this aspect "building my resilience" of the Meditative Feeling. I now had three stages to develop with respect to my meditation practice: Create, Hold, and Build. Create the meditative feeling, hold it outside of the practice, and build its resilience to the outside world.

My next step was to figure out how to build up the resilience without falling flat on my face all the time and getting disillusioned. The solution came to me by accident. I went into a shop that just had negative energy in it. I did not realize at the time, since I had been so used to going there that the feeling of negative energy was "normal" for me. On this particular occasion I had just meditated and was in my Meditative Feeling when I went in, and after only a few moments I felt that the Meditative Feeling had been knocked out of me. Initially I was a bit put out that it had happened, but then suddenly, in a moment of inspiration, I realized that I could use this place as a training ground to build up the resilience of my Meditative Feeling. I would meditate, go into the place, and then start to time how long it took for the Meditative Feeling to dissipate. I would consciously try to hold on to it by checking that the feeling was still there. It became a new game. After a few weeks I was up to thirty minutes, and then an hour, and then, very quickly, the entire time that I spent there.

After discovering how to build up the resilience I then wanted to try it out on other situations in my life. I needed to decide how to take baby steps with this technique. I knew that if I tried to hold the feeling in a very challenging place or situation that I would fail and get discouraged. I had to look at all the places and situations that would occur and order them from high to low. The lowest few I started to call, "the low-hanging fruit." I then split up the remaining challenges into "medium" and "high" fruits. I then worked on holding the Meditative Feeling for about three of the low fruits. The amazing thing was that, not only did the feeling change how I perceived these situations, it also altered how I behaved in them (and, as a consequence, how any other involved people behaved). It was almost like magic. In keeping my inner peace, I felt as though, while I was a part of it, life it was flowing around me and instead of knocking me around.

One trick I used in helping me to be specific with clarifying my goals for change was the acronym I had used in my time in corporate America, which was SMART. Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Realistic, and Timely. Using that as my guide, I could pragmatically set goals for changes in my life and see them happening. It was amazing. Here is an example of how might work. Suppose I get angry during my daily commute to and from work, with all the traffic on the roads, and since I am always, while behind my own wheel, giving other drivers "advice" (which they will never hear) on how they can improve their driving. (I'm confident I'm not alone in this habit.) My SMART goals would be:

Specific: Not to vocalise my advice at least twice during the ten times I am commuting (I might still get angry, so let's take it in baby steps).
Measurable: This would be measured by whether I opened my mouth to comment on other drivers.
Achievable: Yes, I am capable of doing this. It is not beyond my ability, unlike, say, becoming an astronaut by next week.
Realistic: It is realistic to achieve the goal within the time that I have allocated.
Timely: I am going to give myself five days to achieve this goal: Monday to Friday.

I realized that, after a few weeks, using my meditative practice to make trackable changes in my life was working. As previously noted, I decided to call this practice Applied Meditation. Why Applied Meditation? I studied physics while in college; while there, I had classes in both Pure and Applied Mathematics, with Applied Mathematics being more related to everyday applications. Therefore, in a similar naming fashion, Applied Meditation would be more closely related to our everyday activities.

So, how can you, too, turn meditation into something that can help you make changes in your everyday life? Start by finding a meditation practice that easily (you should be able to create it with five minutes on an average day) creates the feelings of peace, calm, and stillness within you. While in a safe place (one where you are not being distracted by having to talk or listening to others), keeping checking in with yourself on whether you are still feeling those feelings and have fun tracking, perhaps in a journal, how long you can hold the feelings. Watch as the time increases from week to week. While you are doing this, create a list of your low, medium, and high "fruits." I'd recommend not trying to tackle any of the "fruits" until you are able to hold the Meditative Feeling for about a couple of hours. You need to prove to yourself that you can hold it outside of the practice for that long.

Article originally published in The Llewellyn Journal. Copyright Llewellyn Worldwide, 2019. All rights reserved.

My son was born 02/08/1993. He passed away of cancer on 11/02/08. Since then, I have been trying to connect with him. I ask him to come to me in my dreams, to flicker my lights - anything to validate that he is with me and hasn't forgotten his life here on Earth. I haven't received anything from him yet. I pray to my spirit guides and ask for help, but no one is answering. It's making me question the afterlife and if it really exists. I have been struggling ever since he passed from cancer. I'm lost and feel very alone without him. I need to hear from my boy and know that he's all right. I want to know that he hasn't forgotten me or his younger brother and if he misses me. I'm just so worried about him. Please, any help would be appreciated. I feel I can't go on without some validation from my son.

Jen

Astrea:

I can't think of anything worse than losing a loved one to cancer; it's the most helpless feeling in the world. Losing an elderly loved one is bad enough, but losing a child is the worst thing ever.

Even the most spiritual, enlightened people have a very difficult time saying goodbye and trusting that we will all see each other again. Nevertheless, we will. That's just the way the Universe works.

There are all sorts of reasons we may long for contact but be disappointed or frustrated in our efforts. Sometimes it's our sadness that blocks us from receiving signs, information and advice from those who have crossed over. Sometimes we're too stubborn in our approach. Sometimes we try too hard. The most difficult thing to do is relax and wait for our departed loved ones to be ready to share with us.

I honestly don't know if our people miss us or not. I don't think they do. I think part of being in Heaven is being in that Paradise of the Mind. I don't think sadness or longing can be a part of that. Of course, none of us wants our people to be unhappy in the afterlife.

I know they think of us with fondness and that they often come to see if we're doing well. They can see us whether we see them or not. Missing someone is more of a human thing to do; the Divine are probably beyond that. I know they care what happens to us and they guide us when they can, but I have to believe that Paradise is wonderful and beautiful and that all suffering and unhappiness ends there.

I'm sure that when we are reunited again, our departed loved ones will say they missed us because that's the right thing to say. Personally, however, I don't want anyone over there to feel any longing about being here. We must keep the faith that our loved ones are taking it easy and waiting for us to join them, but aren't in a hurry to have that happen!

Because I lost my own father to cancer a year ago, I understand how miserable you are not to be hearing from your son. It's not unusual for those who have crossed over to take a year or more to come back to us in a form that we can perceive and understand. Don't give up trying to contact your son; he'll come through to you as soon as he's able to do so.

Also, look for tangible signs of your son's love for you. Daddy leaves me dimes. Look around and you'll discover something that your son has waiting for you every day to show that you're with him and he is with you.

Keep the faith and believe me: we will all see our departed loved ones again one day.

*****

Susyn:

I am sorry for your loss. There is nothing more tragic than having our children precede us in death. It must be very disheartening to realize that, no matter how hard you've tried or how much you've believed, you have been unable to contact him or sense his presence so far.

Oftentimes when we are very close to a situation and carry high emotions around it, we can actually block messages and signs from coming through. Thus the more you try to contact him, the more fear or pain may be blocking your ability to do so.

I can assure you that your son is doing well and that he is often near you and his younger brother. Because he is an Aquarius, he may try to make his presence known by affecting electrical equipment in your home. Computers, cell phones, monitors and electronic games were probably his favorite means of communication while he was here on earth, so you may want to watch for electrical equipment of this nature to act up as a sign that he is trying to communicate with you or let you know he is near.

Some spirits will try to come to us through dreams, signs or sensations. A tingling or burning sensation, a familiar odor that fills a room for no reason, hearing his voice in the distance or spotting his favorite toy, animal or movie when you least expect to see it are all ways a loved one who has passed over can let us know they are near.

A more overt way to connect with him may have to come from a third party. If you schedule a reading with a reliable psychic or channeler who specializes in relaying messages from the spirit world, you should be able to carry on a conversation with him. He will also be able to tell you what signs he will send you and how to interact with him on your own.

When you can have a direct conversation with him, not only will you be assured that he is all right and doing well, you can ask him if he has any requests of you or his brother. You can also make requests of your own or ask pressing questions. Though a reading of this type can't fill the hole that has been left in your heart since his passing, it will relieve some of the fear and pain you continue to experience based on your inability to connect with him.

It is understandable to doubt the existence of an afterlife when no evidence has been forthcoming, but I encourage you to keep watching for signs of his presence. Connecting with your son through a third party via a reading or channeling session may prove the key that opens the door to more frequent and undeniable contact with him.

Astrea:

Many times in life we hear, "You will always have what you NEED, but not necessarily what you WANT." Your spirit must have needed to experience the feeling of leaving your human body, and the suggestion in the next chapter of Sylvia Brown's book was all it took to get you there.

Even though you hadn't read it yet, your SOUL recognized the title of that chapter as something it had been seeking, and your soul, knowing that you had that reference to read after your experience, got with it and out you went!

While I don't usually recommend her books, Sylvia Brown has a wide reaching and powerful effect on lots of people. A Gemini like you would be able to relate easily to her writing and put it to good use. Synchronicity - you gotta love it!

I like your description of "getting caught." That's exactly what it feels like, isn't it? One minute you're free and hovering above the room, and the next minute, ZAP! back down into your corporeal form you go!

As a little kid, I loved that "feeling of return." With practice, most of the time we can control that event, but sometimes, when our physical ears hear a distracting noise or something else occurs to knock us back into reality, back we go. With practice you will be able to control your return better.

I find it interesting that you were visiting your mother-in-law and not someone in your own genetic family. Evidently, you and your husband got married for reasons that are even deeper than love. His family's interest in "psychic stuff" will nurture your children in such matters and help them to grow into their own abilities.

You'll never have to be concerned that when your daughter visits them, she'll be discouraged from exploring her own psychic life and power. My parents encouraged me to develop my psychic senses in a time when it wasn't nice to even discuss such things in public. Heck, it's STILL not considered a great topic at the dinner table in some families!

Your kids will get to talk about it ALL and ask questions and read and study. This is going to give them such an edge in life! Talk with your husband about how you want to present this to your kiddos, so that you are united in your approach and ready to tell them their experiences are all natural and okay.

A word or two of warning: Geminis often have difficulty staying grounded in REAL LIFE. Don't get so strung out on your ASTRAL life that you neglect what you're doing here on Earth.

You are at the beginning of a long journey to learn where your power really lies. Try to be patient with this process and take your time.