KAJAMA.COM NEWSLETTER

by Amy Leigh Mercree

(Article originally published in The Llewellyn Journal.)

Imagine this scenario: You're walking down a street and you pass a person sitting on a park bench. You can see, even from the distance, in this person's posture that says something is a little off. As you get closer, you see the person is slouching over and sobbing.

What do you feel? Perhaps you feel the tug on your heartstrings, and the empathy towards this person immediately enters your emotional being. But what do you do? What you do next is the difference between feeling empathy and sharing a moment of compassion.

So many of us feel all the feels, but rarely do we act upon it. When you see that person on that park bench, do you pause and then keep walking? Or do you pause, take a seat next to the person, and wish them a good day? Or perhaps offer a listening ear to a stranger? To what extent would you offer yourself as a beacon of support to another being?

Acts of compassion are rooted in a more sensitive state of mind and act as an extension of empathy. Compassion in action is the impetus to go beyond the initial emotional experience, and act toward positive change in a situation in which you feel so moved. Whether it's something small like holding the door for an elderly person, or something large like starting a non-profit organization in the name of something you care about, compassion can come in many different shapes and forms.

The seeds of compassion extend through all life forms; from the tiniest insect to the largest animal, compassion is widespread throughout the entire animal kingdom. There are may stories of animals helping one another from dolphins, to alligators, to elephants. The possibility of compassion extends beyond humans into all sentient beings.

Let's take a look at the role of compassion, the energy behind it, and how to develop a daily practice towards being a compassionate being.

The Origins of Bodhisattva
Bodhisattva is the Sanskrit term for a person motivated by great compassion. Oftentimes, this person is on a pathway towards enlightenment and is actively finding deeper, stronger, and more frequent acts of compassion.

Buddha is thought of as the original Bodhisattva, as he was the epitome of kindness and selflessness. Those who follow in Buddha's steps and path are known as Bodhisattvas.

Maybe we aren't exactly all the next Buddha or Bodhisattvas. However, there has been a huge rise in the practice of yoga in the Western world, bringing with it a heightened awareness around the absolute necessity of compassion.

In any given yoga or meditation class, you might hear a very popular chant that encompasses the prayer and dedication of compassion:

"Lokah Samastah Sukhino Bavantu: May all beings everywhere live happy and free, and may the thoughts, words, and actions of my own life contribute in some way to that happiness and to that freedom for all."

Feminine Energy and the Goddess Tara
Our subtle and emotional bodies, which are located in our physical structures, are made up of different types of energies. The two biggest energy forces are the yin and yang of it all—the masculine and the feminine.

Masculine energy rules processes like willfulness, work ethic, and structure. Feminine energy, however, is the driving force behind empathy (as stated earlier, the fuel for compassion).

So when the two come together, an interesting and unique force develops into a virtuous liberation. Typically, a Bodhisattva is a male, following in Buddha's footsteps. Yet the Goddess Tara, the most notable female Bodhisattva, is the representative of the embodiment of compassion. Known as "The Mother of Liberation," she represents the willful drive of empathy into action, creating compassion through work and achievement. Whether "Tara" is an actual female person or just a representative conjured up in the ideas mixed together in Hinduism and Buddhism to create a feminine representation of this energy force, it is believed that she hears the cries of pain and suffering and offers mercy, warmth, strength, and a lifeline away from enduring pain.

Daily Practices of Compassion
We can look at Goddess Tara as a representative of the mother that plants the seeds of development toward compassion. And just like Tara, our own Earth provides a feminine energy and transformative platform for that compassion to bud and grow.

You don't have to run out and save the world to be considered compassionate. Small steps in your everyday life can develop compassion, which will bud and grow along the way.

• Stop and Smell the Flowers
  It's an age-old saying to encourage people to slow down and take in life in the moment. Being present creates the space to accept and receive each other and what's around all of us all the time. But when you literally stop to smell the flowers, you are providing life force for yourself as well as another living being. Flowers give off oxygen, and we give off carbon dioxide. While it's not necessarily a one-to-one ratio in the oxygen and carbon dioxide exchange, giving a little extra breath to a flower gives it more life and sustainability. And you get to take a moment to embrace its beauty. This moment of pause and exchange builds towards compassion through elements of connection and appreciation for other beings.
• Hold the Door
  The next time you're out, try holding the door for someone else. That person might receive that and immediately send it off to someone else, as you may have heightened their attitude. You never know what someone's going through….something so small such as opening a door for him or her may just be that extra little piece to make sun shine bright in their life.
• Send a Smile
  Perhaps the easiest and fastest way to share compassion is to just simply smile at someone. Humans have a natural tendency to smile back when smiled at—help someone turn that frown upside down. It's the easiest form of compassion there is.
• Give a Compliment
  Telling someone that they look nice may not seem compassionate, but by paying a compliment, you are lightening a person's heart, even if he or she may not realize it. So many of us carry so much on our hearts and shoulders, that we often take it out on ourselves. Give a person a little space to breathe by saying something that will make them feel appreciated.
• Breathe In, Breathe Out: A Daily Mantra
  Even if you've never even stepped foot in a yoga class, the mantra mentioned earlier is a wonderful way to start your day, and sends out the energy to the world and space around you that you truly and selflessly wish for everyone to have peace, joy, and freedom.
  As you start your day, take a moment to repeat the words:

  "Lokah Samastah Sukhino Bavantu: May all beings everywhere live happy and free, and may the thoughts, words, and actions of my own life contribute in some way to that happiness and to that freedom for all."

And to you, an arbiter of empathy and strength, may you continue to find daily moments along the way, recognize them, integrate them, and give devotion to the selfless compassion in your heart and being.

Article originally published in The Llewellyn Journal. Copyright Llewellyn Worldwide, 2017. All rights reserved.

Almost a year ago, I broke up with a severe narcissist. I trusted him and gave him my love, my trust and my support. He used me, betrayed me, and could never admit to what he had done although he bragged about things to everyone else. He nearly destroyed my relationship with my family by stealing thousands from them to spend on call girls. While I realize he was a lesson to me and I have forgiven him in my heart because it must be AWFUL to be such a person, I am still wondering what is happening on a spiritual level for the narcissist. Thanks!

Lisa

Susyn:

A narcissist is someone who is completely self-focused and self-centered. Narcissists have no conscience or awareness of how their actions affect others.

It must be very difficult to forgive and even harder to forget this devastating experience. I agree that this was a lesson for you as well as an experience that could make it very hard to trust others in the future. The blessing is that he is now out of your life. I can assure you that the next time you run across a narcissist, you will find it much easier to spot him for what he is.

Because your ex is cut off from Spirit, there may not be much happening on a spiritual level for him. Narcissists like to think that they are in control of their lives. If anything positive happens to them, they believe they created it themselves. If anything of a negative nature occurs, they blame it on others.

Because of his skewed view of the world, your ex will continue to repeat the same patterns of using others. Until he begins to experience consequences for his actions and his methods stop working, he'll have no reason to change. Eventually, however, he will learn that what we do to others comes back to us.

Karmically, it's just a matter of time before his actions begin to backfire. The timing and manner of these events is up to the Universe, but when it does happen, he will be the one with great lessons in store. This may involve devastating experiences, as that may be what he needs to wake up and realize he has to change.

We don't always get to witness the karmic retribution we are entitled to, but you can rest assured that at some point, he will be stopped in his tracks. Your job is to heal your own wounds and disengage from any concern about what is happening to him, as these thoughts will keep you bound to him on an energetic level.

To keep his memory at bay and prevent him from doing any further harm, I recommend you use my freezing ritual, which can be found in the free downloads area of my Kajama profile. While performing this ritual, include a written request that he also be blocked from harming, using and stealing from others as well. Asking the Universe to protect others from being victimized by him will help you heal on a spiritual level and align you with positive karma.

I'm sorry about your bad experience with this man, but I can assure you that this lesson holds many gifts for you beyond teaching you whom you can trust. You now have new awareness and are no doubt grateful that you were able to break free of him and move on to happier, healthier relationships.

*****

Oceania:

Narcissism is a personality disorder, which means it is a deeply engrained pattern of thinking and behaving that leads to relationship and career problems. From a spiritual perspective, narcissists are lost in the illusion of separation. Their spiritual tasks are to become found again and reconnect with the whole, and to accept the fundamentally flawed nature of all human beings. Thereís no need for us to condemn them or say that narcissists should be different, for they are on a path with unique lessons and challenges just like we all are.

Despite having fragile egos, those with NPD have a sense of entitlement and believe they are superior and special. Their expectations of perfection and rages over imperfection can be distressing to those around them.

Narcissists can't see from other people's points of view, so they have little regard for others' feelings and needs. They treat people as objects or specimens, and use them without qualms. One of their manipulative tools is charm. When theyíre not berating you, theyíre praising you excessively to lure you closer; youíre either basking in their admiration or groveling for forgiveness and promising to do better.

Since your ex was able to steal thousands of dollars from your family, you probably all idealized him while ignoring red flags. Perhaps you felt coerced or intimated by him; it often feels easier to give in to keep the peace than to risk verbal abuse and shaming.

We were all narcissists early in life. Toddlers canít see another personís point of view and feel frustrated when they donít get their way. Most of us mature and learn to share, take turns, forgive and tolerate frustration. Psychologically, the narcissist is stuck at a very young age.

Those with personality disorders are low on will power; their soulís light is dim, as if nobodyís home. They can seem like machines running rampant with no one at the controls. Since they don't perceive themselves as having a problem, they don't seek help. Most medical plans do not cover personality disorders because there is little chance the patient will benefit from intervention. Those who live WITH the personality-disordered are much more likely to seek and benefit from treatment.

You say you trusted this man. Instead of trusting other people, I recommend you trust in your own judgment. Indiscriminately giving love and support to someone who can't reciprocate is a bad investment. Self-preservation must be your top priority. Your goal is to recognize that there are no true enemies in life - only teachers. Narcissists provide us with endless opportunities to practice compassion while remaining gracefully assertive.

Astrea:

Many times in life we hear, "You will always have what you NEED, but not necessarily what you WANT." Your spirit must have needed to experience the feeling of leaving your human body, and the suggestion in the next chapter of Sylvia Brown's book was all it took to get you there.

Even though you hadn't read it yet, your SOUL recognized the title of that chapter as something it had been seeking, and your soul, knowing that you had that reference to read after your experience, got with it and out you went!

While I don't usually recommend her books, Sylvia Brown has a wide reaching and powerful effect on lots of people. A Gemini like you would be able to relate easily to her writing and put it to good use. Synchronicity - you gotta love it!

I like your description of "getting caught." That's exactly what it feels like, isn't it? One minute you're free and hovering above the room, and the next minute, ZAP! back down into your corporeal form you go!

As a little kid, I loved that "feeling of return." With practice, most of the time we can control that event, but sometimes, when our physical ears hear a distracting noise or something else occurs to knock us back into reality, back we go. With practice you will be able to control your return better.

I find it interesting that you were visiting your mother-in-law and not someone in your own genetic family. Evidently, you and your husband got married for reasons that are even deeper than love. His family's interest in "psychic stuff" will nurture your children in such matters and help them to grow into their own abilities.

You'll never have to be concerned that when your daughter visits them, she'll be discouraged from exploring her own psychic life and power. My parents encouraged me to develop my psychic senses in a time when it wasn't nice to even discuss such things in public. Heck, it's STILL not considered a great topic at the dinner table in some families!

Your kids will get to talk about it ALL and ask questions and read and study. This is going to give them such an edge in life! Talk with your husband about how you want to present this to your kiddos, so that you are united in your approach and ready to tell them their experiences are all natural and okay.

A word or two of warning: Geminis often have difficulty staying grounded in REAL LIFE. Don't get so strung out on your ASTRAL life that you neglect what you're doing here on Earth.

You are at the beginning of a long journey to learn where your power really lies. Try to be patient with this process and take your time.