KAJAMA.COM NEWSLETTER

Working with Crystals, Pendulums, and Oracle Decks
An Excerpt from Medium Mentor by MaryAnn DiMarco

There are many types of tools that people use to develop intuition.

Crystals are quite high on this list. Many of my students have a strong affinity for crystals — sometimes even specific types of crystals — long before they come to work with me. Personally, I often find myself reaching for a crystal when I’m feeling out of sorts or I need some grounding. I rarely hang on to crystals for long, because I’m so often prompted to give them away; this makes it hard to really build a collection! But they can be very useful, especially in the short term.

Different types of crystals do different things. There’s a whole area of study around what this or that crystal does — selenite cleans, for instance, while obsidian absorbs. If you’re interested in that, or if you feel called to deepen your knowledge and add crystal work to your offerings for others, you will find a range of resources — such as books, workshops, and online and in-person classes — available to you.

There’s a common saying about crystals: we don’t choose the crystal; the crystal chooses us. For our purposes, whether you end up diving into the expansive world of crystals or not, this saying has a lot to offer. It can be very useful to experiment with feeling that pull toward a specific crystal and intuiting how the energy it holds might help. I’m not saying you’ll be objectively right — perhaps you’ll intuit something that is exactly the opposite of what someone else might say, which is precisely why you’re only working on yourself at this stage. This exploration helps psychic development because the process of checking in with your intuitive knowing and divining what is best in each individual moment is instructive.

While I respect those who are well studied in crystals, I am not one of them myself. There’s little rhyme or reason to the way I use crystals. I generally gravitate toward smaller crystals that I can hold. I sometimes put one on the table when I feel some negative energy around, with the intention that the negative energy be absorbed there instead of in my body. I’ll put one in my pocket or my purse before going out, pulling it out casually in a public space and holding it in my hand. When I’m feeling particularly stimulated or like I’ve done too many readings, I’ll keep a crystal in my pocket even when I’m at home. It doesn’t happen frequently, but when I’m a little off or need extra energy, I always know I can grab a crystal to help me feel better.

Crystals can be very grounding, especially when there’s a lot of psychic energy around or the vibration just feels busy. Many of my students have this experience, too; the right crystal at the right moment can stabilize our frequency, despite the other vibrations present, helping us to stay in our center as conduits of light.

Some crystals have been cut into a symmetrical shape and hung on a chain. This is called a pendulum. Pendulums are for divination. They’re tools that help us answer questions. This tradition dates way back and is not limited to the crystal pendulums that are popular today. In my childhood, I witnessed older generations dangling a needle from thread in front of a pregnant belly to divine the sex of the baby within.

With a pendulum, different patterns of movement — such as swinging front to back or side to side, or circling in one direction or another — are associated with different meanings. Many of my students have gained a lot from the process of sitting with the pendulum, because it gives them a clear experience of what their intuition feels like. For instance, we can ask the pendulum factual questions — usually, ones with a verifiable yes-or-no answer — to see how it swings. That way, we’ll have a better sense of how it feels to land on a right answer, which will come in handy when we need to ask questions whose answers cannot be confirmed.

Oracle cards are also great for yes-or-no questions, though they work for open-ended questions as well. I love working with these decks! Sometimes, on those rare occasions I bring them into a reading, I don’t even ask a question; I just pick a card for someone (or have them pick a card, if it’s an in-person reading) and use it as a springboard for the rest of the reading. It provides a central theme, a way to organize the input coming my way. Near the end of this chapter, I have exact, step-by-step instructions for how to do this on your own.

My dear friend Gabrielle Bernstein’s Super Attractor deck is one of my favorites — I just love the fresh, bright energy Gabby brings — and I also love the whimsical, multilayered artwork on Kyle Gray’s cards. There are many great decks out there, so I encourage you to shop around. I highly recommend that if you’re buying a deck, and especially if it’s your first, you don’t necessarily go for the most famous, the “best” according to someone else, or the one someone else once used on you. Instead, focus on the way the deck makes you feel. Which deck pulls you? Which catches your eye, your attention, your energy? Follow that pull. Consider the possibility that, like crystals, the decks are choosing you. As you work with identifying and responding to this intuitive pull, flexing it like a muscle, you’ll get better at using it to pick an individual card from your deck, too.

Working with cards is a major avenue of study, and most decks come with a book or other material to help you sort through their meanings. Your intuition plays a large role as well. I’ve been told (though I never saw her do it) that my grandmother used to read playing cards like Tarot — she was operating on intuition alone. In fact, playing cards and Tarot come from the same cultural roots. It’s absolutely fine if you don’t know what you’re doing and are relying entirely on intuitive hits, but be humble, and don’t get overly serious about it — remember, this is exploratory, and the main goal is to figure out how your intuition signals you and how to respond.

Finally, we come back to the actual Tarot. I never did learn to use the Tarot properly. But if this is your calling, please go study it! My student Madeline has been working with Tarot for years, and she probably has loads to teach me at this point about the ins and outs of what each card means and how the different positions in a spread work together. At this point, Madeline is incredibly proficient at Tarot. In terms of accumulating knowledge, she’s done her work. Yet I continue to instruct her about how to translate that through her own intuitive knowing, because that’s well within my sphere of knowledge. She knows the literal interpretation of each card, as well as its placement, and I help her understand the message in between — the reason she’s drawing the card, specifically, right now. This is purely psychic work, and it piggybacks on the more intellectual study Madeline does with her Tarot teacher. The Tarot signals something, and Madeline fleshes it out with her imagination, bringing herself into the work and expanding upon the Tarot as she provides readings for others as a psychic medium. If you’re like Madeline, your guides will tell you, and if so, I highly encourage you to bolster your intuitive work with this tool by seeking out the more practical knowledge of qualified Tarot teachers.

MaryAnn DiMarco is the author of Medium Mentor: 10 Powerful Techniques to Awaken Divine Guidance for Yourself and Others.  An internationally recognized psychic medium, healer, and spiritual teacher, her work has been featured in media outlets like The New York Times, The Dr. Oz Show, Women’s Health, Elle, and Redbook. Visit her online at www.MaryAnnDiMarco.com.

Excerpted from the book from Medium Mentor: 10 Powerful Techniques to Awaken Divine Guidance for Yourself and Others. Copyright ©2022 by MaryAnn DiMarco. Printed with permission from New World Library.

I've been seeing an acupuncturist for healing for almost a year now. From the beginning of our relationship, I had a strong sense that there was a connection between the two of us. He felt very familiar to me, and there was a definite sharing of energies between the two of us. From the first moment we met, my intuition began telling me that he was attracted to me. We quickly bonded emotionally and had some very intimate conversations. It was several months before I could admit that I was attracted to him as well. I began to have dreams about him on a nightly basis, and I decided to mention the dreams to him as a way to talk to him about my feelings for him. He immediately got defensive about his healing methods, and began to challenge me by telling me that my feelings for him were not love and that we were not soul mates because he did not believe in soul mates. I have discontinued my acupuncture appointments with him but I still feel a very strong connection to him. Now I am left feeling sad, manipulated, and betrayed. I also feel like my intuition failed me. Was I imagining the emotional connection and intimate nature of our relationship, or was my intuition correct all along?

Emily

Susyn:

People often get emotionally attached to individuals they see for healing and guidance. It's perfectly natural for these attachments to form as we interact with people who guide, nurture and support us with our goals and dreams.

Whether they are in conventional medical or holistic fields, health care professionals must maintain strong boundaries with their clients. Given the intimate conversations you shared, it doesn't sound like your acupuncturist did this. I doubt your intuition was off when you sensed he was attracted to you. However, even if he was very attracted to you, he could not act on his feelings. Since becoming involved was not an option, anything he said or did that led you on was a lapse in integrity.

When we keep these kinds of emotions or attractions to ourselves, they tend to take on a life of their own, growing stronger as we wrestle with ourselves to make sense of them. This is a one-sided phenomenon that unfortunately can drive us to entertain fantasies that may not have any basis in reality. In that regard, you allowed your feelings to get the better of you.

Ethically, if this acupuncturist had feelings for you, he should have advised you that he could no longer treat you. That would have freed the two of you to explore your mutual attraction. Because you were the first to address these feelings, you put yourself at risk for rejection.

Men have more experience with this than women. They tend to handle it better and do not succumb to shame, embarrassment or the sense that they have been betrayed. This is more of a female experience, which is why it is always wise to let the man come to you instead of putting yourself out there first.

In the future, if you engage the services of anyone you find yourself attracted to, you should discontinue working with them and find a different practitioner. If there is real attraction between the two of you, let them be the first to express it.

Feelings and intuitions can conflict with each other. The best way to tell them apart is by evaluating how they feel. Intuition will come as a thought or action that is unemotional; it is designed to alert and direct you when you reach a crossroads or need to be aware of your options. When what you are feeling has a strong emotional charge, it is unlikely to be your intuition. If you feel an intense feeling of fear, desire, or some other emotion, you're not dealing with an intuition and are probably too emotional to hear your inner guidance clearly.

*****

Oceania:

I'm not so sure your intuition failed you. It's very possible that you and your acupuncturist were attracted to each other. There will always be people in your life with whom you share mutual attraction, but that doesn't mean you have to act on it. There are times when acting on attraction can do more harm than good.

Your feelings sound normal under the circumstances. You're feeling sad as you grieve the loss of your healer and your dream of sharing something deeper with him. You're feeling manipulated and are perhaps wondering if he misled you to ensure your loyalty as a client. You feel betrayed that he seemingly led you on and then denied his feelings and discounted yours.

In general, when a healer of any kind helps remove blocks and frees us to expand on a physical, mental, emotional or spiritual level, we DO tend to feel like we're falling in love, but it's the energy flow and increased sense of well-being that we are really in love with!

Healers, being in a professional role, carry power and authority. The dynamic between a helper and a client is similar to that of parent and child. Whenever we feel dependent upon someone, it stirs up feelings from our earliest life, when we idealized our parents and felt in love with them. This phenomenon is known as transference, and tends to happen in almost every therapeutic and teaching relationship to one degree or another.

It's possible your acupuncturist DID feel attracted to you, which is known as countertransference. In the course of therapy, be it massage therapy, acupuncture, psychotherapy, etc., the healer can't possibly come to know a client fully as an individual in the context of normal life, so any feelings that arise are NOT completely based upon the actual client but are usually mixed in with feelings for someone in the healer's past.

Your acupuncturist may have denied his feelings because he felt uncomfortable acknowledging them. Perhaps he did not have proper support or training in how to best manage feelings for a client. If he engaged in intimate conversations with you, it's possible he crossed a professional line. His defensiveness may indicate that he felt guilty for doing so.

It's a good rule of thumb to steer clear of entering personal relationships with our teachers and healers unless the professional relationship is terminated and time is invested in getting to know each other in a natural context. Until that takes place, feelings of attraction or connection should always remain suspect.

Astrea:

Many times in life we hear, "You will always have what you NEED, but not necessarily what you WANT." Your spirit must have needed to experience the feeling of leaving your human body, and the suggestion in the next chapter of Sylvia Brown's book was all it took to get you there.

Even though you hadn't read it yet, your SOUL recognized the title of that chapter as something it had been seeking, and your soul, knowing that you had that reference to read after your experience, got with it and out you went!

While I don't usually recommend her books, Sylvia Brown has a wide reaching and powerful effect on lots of people. A Gemini like you would be able to relate easily to her writing and put it to good use. Synchronicity - you gotta love it!

I like your description of "getting caught." That's exactly what it feels like, isn't it? One minute you're free and hovering above the room, and the next minute, ZAP! back down into your corporeal form you go!

As a little kid, I loved that "feeling of return." With practice, most of the time we can control that event, but sometimes, when our physical ears hear a distracting noise or something else occurs to knock us back into reality, back we go. With practice you will be able to control your return better.

I find it interesting that you were visiting your mother-in-law and not someone in your own genetic family. Evidently, you and your husband got married for reasons that are even deeper than love. His family's interest in "psychic stuff" will nurture your children in such matters and help them to grow into their own abilities.

You'll never have to be concerned that when your daughter visits them, she'll be discouraged from exploring her own psychic life and power. My parents encouraged me to develop my psychic senses in a time when it wasn't nice to even discuss such things in public. Heck, it's STILL not considered a great topic at the dinner table in some families!

Your kids will get to talk about it ALL and ask questions and read and study. This is going to give them such an edge in life! Talk with your husband about how you want to present this to your kiddos, so that you are united in your approach and ready to tell them their experiences are all natural and okay.

A word or two of warning: Geminis often have difficulty staying grounded in REAL LIFE. Don't get so strung out on your ASTRAL life that you neglect what you're doing here on Earth.

You are at the beginning of a long journey to learn where your power really lies. Try to be patient with this process and take your time.