Every time I get a psychic reading, I hear the same thing over and over again: I’m told that I need to let go of my ex-boyfriend, that we’ll not be getting back together, and that in holding on to hope for this, I’m keeping myself from new love. We’ve been broken up for almost a year, and I’ve yet to meet anyone I can even imagine taking his place. I personally feel that we will be getting back together. I have dreams about him all the time, and when readers tell me that we don’t have a future together, I have this tight feeling in my gut that tells me they’re wrong. My question is, who is right?
I applaud your faith in your own instincts! I encourage everyone to trust their own inner knowing above anything anyone else tells them. Learning how to discern our intuitions from the desires of our egos, however, can be very tricky business. This is where objective input from a third party can be very helpful.
Have you ever had a friend ask for your advice, and then when you bravely gave your honest opinion, had her react very negatively to you by arguing with you and maybe even criticizing you in an attempt to invalidate your perspective? If so, she reacted that way because she didn’t really want your honest opinion, she just wanted you to validate HER opinion. It happens all the time because it’s very human to doubt ourselves and to seek confirmation that we’re on the right path. It’s also natural to want what we want, and to be attached to hearing that we’re already on our way to getting it.
That same dynamic happens frequently in psychic readings. What you’re describing is a very frustrating situation for both you and the readers you’re hiring to tune in and bring you guidance. In my early days of reading work (before I knew enough to tell Spirit to bring me a different sort of experience), I often had clients return to me repeatedly, basically asking the same question. When I discovered that they hadn’t taken the advice of previous readings, I had to start refusing to read for them until they did. Otherwise, it was a waste of their money and a waste of my time and energy. A reader can only answer your questions and bring through advice from Spirit; what you do with that information is up to you. If you do nothing with it, it’s silly to keep getting readings.
I also had clients who came to me from other readers looking for a second (or third or fourth) opinion. Sometimes these were legitimately savvy consumers; most of the time, however, they were people who were looking for a certain answer, who weren’t going to stop until they got it. (They didn’t like what the other reader told them, and they were hoping I would deliver a different forecast).
Unfortunately, some readers leave their clients with a mess that must be cleaned up by someone else. They close doors on them but they don’t open any windows. Lisa asks,
Will I get the job? and the reader says,
Sorry. Nope. I don’t see that happening. Mary asks,
Is he the one? and the reader answers,
It’s not in the cards. This relationship is doomed. What are Lisa and Mary to do then? Curl up with a pint of ice cream and cry?
A good reader will find a way to communicate with you so that you can hear her. She’ll slip past your ego to make sure your higher self receives what you need. She will ask Spirit how this or that development serves your greater good. She’ll ask how you can move toward fulfilling your dreams and desires, and she’ll be working at a level so rich with wisdom and compassion that she’ll MOVE you. She’ll begin to heal whatever needs to be healed so that you’re not the same person you were before the reading: You’re now more hopeful and confident and able to trust that the Universe is ultimately moving you toward something even better than what you thought you had to have.
I do believe that things happen for a reason, Megan. Perhaps you receiving the same answers reading after reading is Spirit trying to get you to just open your mind and heart to your greater good coming to you through some channel other than the one you’re attached to (the ex-boyfriend). You say that you feel that you two will get back together again, and you’re right: All passionate wishes do eventually come true – in SOME lifetime. You and your ex have a lot of unfinished emotional business together, so your intuition is not wrong, but neither are the readers wrong. You’re both right!
As for that gut feeling, I’m going to write something here, and I want you to pay attention to how you feel when you read it.
Someday, you and your ex-boyfriend will be reunited, and have all the time you need together to feel complete. Read it again, and then close your eyes and pay attention to your body. It feels pretty good, huh? I bet you felt energy largely in the area of your heart, that your breathing relaxed, your chest expanded, and you felt
Now let’s try again.
You and your boyfriend will not be getting back together this lifetime. Read it again, then close your eyes and tune in to your body. Feel how you got knotted up inside? I bet you felt this one as a tightening in your gut, and that your breathing got more shallow and constricted. You may think this is your gut instinct telling you that what I said is not true, but more likely, it’s just fear inspired by a
negative statement that dredges up the resistance you’re carrying around to not getting what you think you need to be happy.
Those readers are right in telling you that in carrying around this attachment to the ex, you’ve tied yourself energetically to the past and are thus preventing yourself from moving freely into the future. Picture a life-size poster of your ex-boyfriend like those big advertisements you sometimes see in movie theaters with the characters from the movie on them. Now picture yourself chained to one. It’s not even the real ex-boyfriend you’re tied to here, but your mental construct of him and your memories of your relationship. So long as you’re chained to the past, you’re not going to be going far in love, and you certainly won’t be enjoying any great romances starring anyone else.
You’re getting the same answers over and over again because you’ve yet to really hear them. What if those readers are right? Even if they’re wrong, you have nothing to lose by assuming that they’re right. If you’re destined to get back with your ex, then it will happen. If you’re not destined to get back with him, then letting go of your attachment to that happening will free you up in powerful ways to enjoy your now and embrace a better future.
You don’t have to accept everything you hear in any reading, of course. If you get an answer in a reading and it doesn’t feel right to you, just let it open your mind and heart to that possibility. If you feel very resistant to that possibility being true, that feeling of resistance is a red flag that you’ve already decided what the answer must be in order for you to be happy, which is a recipe for getting stuck.
One way to begin to shift this energy is to ask for what you want in love in general. List the things you want in a lover. You can even visualize your ex, if you must, but keep things OPEN by affirming that
this or SOMETHING BETTER will be yours. If you tell the Universe you want happiness and Trevor, and Trevor does not equal happiness for you, you’ll end up frustrated and alone. If you say,
Trevor or something better, then if Trevor is not in the cards, the Universe can deliver someone better. There’s nothing wrong with that! If you find yourself saying,
But I don’t want someone better, I want Trevor! then, my dear, you’ve got no business spending your hard earned cash on readings. Get yourself a pet and some ice cream, and get really comfortable right where you are in your love life, because you’re not going to be going anywhere fast.
If you’re ready to start shifting your energy and opening up to greater happiness in love, I highly recommend you work with the Manifest Big Love process in Kajama’s Spiritual Toolbox. Soul mate relationships must be born some time in order for us to find each other again, which means you can create NEW soul mates whenever you desire.
May your whole being open to a bright, passionate new beginning in love!
If you have a question about a strange/paranormal experience, psychic development, astral projection, perplexing dreams, or some other metaphysical subject, please send it to me via the handy form below.
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