Tag: destiny

Advice: When Your Intuition Conflicts with Psychic Readings

tarotreadingDear Kajama:

Every time I get a psychic reading, I hear the same thing over and over again: I’m told that I need to let go of my ex-boyfriend, that we’ll not be getting back together, and that in holding on to hope for this, I’m keeping myself from new love. We’ve been broken up for almost a year, and I’ve yet to meet anyone I can even imagine taking his place. I personally feel that we will be getting back together. I have dreams about him all the time, and when readers tell me that we don’t have a future together, I have this tight feeling in my gut that tells me they’re wrong. My question is, who is right?
– Megan

Dear Megan:

I applaud your faith in your own instincts! I encourage everyone to trust their own inner knowing above anything anyone else tells them. Learning how to discern our intuitions from the desires of our egos, however, can be very tricky business. This is where objective input from a third party can be very helpful.

Have you ever had a friend ask for your advice, and then when you bravely gave your honest opinion, had her react very negatively to you by arguing with you and maybe even criticizing you in an attempt to invalidate your perspective? If so, she reacted that way because she didn’t really want your honest opinion, she just wanted you to validate HER opinion. It happens all the time because it’s very human to doubt ourselves and to seek confirmation that we’re on the right path. It’s also natural to want what we want, and to be attached to hearing that we’re already on our way to getting it.

That same dynamic happens frequently in psychic readings. What you’re describing is a very frustrating situation for both you and the readers you’re hiring to tune in and bring you guidance. In my early days of reading work (before I knew enough to tell Spirit to bring me a different sort of experience), I often had clients return to me repeatedly, basically asking the same question. When I discovered that they hadn’t taken the advice of previous readings, I had to start refusing to read for them until they did. Otherwise, it was a waste of their money and a waste of my time and energy. A reader can only answer your questions and bring through advice from Spirit; what you do with that information is up to you. If you do nothing with it, it’s silly to keep getting readings.

I also had clients who came to me from other readers looking for a second (or third or fourth) opinion. Sometimes these were legitimately savvy consumers; most of the time, however, they were people who were looking for a certain answer, who weren’t going to stop until they got it. (They didn’t like what the other reader told them, and they were hoping I would deliver a different forecast).

Unfortunately, some readers leave their clients with a mess that must be cleaned up by someone else. They close doors on them but they don’t open any windows. Lisa asks, Will I get the job? and the reader says, Sorry. Nope. I don’t see that happening. Mary asks, Is he the one? and the reader answers, It’s not in the cards. This relationship is doomed. What are Lisa and Mary to do then? Curl up with a pint of ice cream and cry?

A good reader will find a way to communicate with you so that you can hear her. She’ll slip past your ego to make sure your higher self receives what you need. She will ask Spirit how this or that development serves your greater good. She’ll ask how you can move toward fulfilling your dreams and desires, and she’ll be working at a level so rich with wisdom and compassion that she’ll MOVE you. She’ll begin to heal whatever needs to be healed so that you’re not the same person you were before the reading: You’re now more hopeful and confident and able to trust that the Universe is ultimately moving you toward something even better than what you thought you had to have.

I do believe that things happen for a reason, Megan. Perhaps you receiving the same answers reading after reading is Spirit trying to get you to just open your mind and heart to your greater good coming to you through some channel other than the one you’re attached to (the ex-boyfriend). You say that you feel that you two will get back together again, and you’re right: All passionate wishes do eventually come true – in SOME lifetime. You and your ex have a lot of unfinished emotional business together, so your intuition is not wrong, but neither are the readers wrong. You’re both right!

As for that gut feeling, I’m going to write something here, and I want you to pay attention to how you feel when you read it. Someday, you and your ex-boyfriend will be reunited, and have all the time you need together to feel complete. Read it again, and then close your eyes and pay attention to your body. It feels pretty good, huh? I bet you felt energy largely in the area of your heart, that your breathing relaxed, your chest expanded, and you felt good.

Now let’s try again. You and your boyfriend will not be getting back together this lifetime. Read it again, then close your eyes and tune in to your body. Feel how you got knotted up inside? I bet you felt this one as a tightening in your gut, and that your breathing got more shallow and constricted. You may think this is your gut instinct telling you that what I said is not true, but more likely, it’s just fear inspired by a negative statement that dredges up the resistance you’re carrying around to not getting what you think you need to be happy.

Those readers are right in telling you that in carrying around this attachment to the ex, you’ve tied yourself energetically to the past and are thus preventing yourself from moving freely into the future. Picture a life-size poster of your ex-boyfriend like those big advertisements you sometimes see in movie theaters with the characters from the movie on them. Now picture yourself chained to one. It’s not even the real ex-boyfriend you’re tied to here, but your mental construct of him and your memories of your relationship. So long as you’re chained to the past, you’re not going to be going far in love, and you certainly won’t be enjoying any great romances starring anyone else.

You’re getting the same answers over and over again because you’ve yet to really hear them. What if those readers are right? Even if they’re wrong, you have nothing to lose by assuming that they’re right. If you’re destined to get back with your ex, then it will happen. If you’re not destined to get back with him, then letting go of your attachment to that happening will free you up in powerful ways to enjoy your now and embrace a better future.

You don’t have to accept everything you hear in any reading, of course. If you get an answer in a reading and it doesn’t feel right to you, just let it open your mind and heart to that possibility. If you feel very resistant to that possibility being true, that feeling of resistance is a red flag that you’ve already decided what the answer must be in order for you to be happy, which is a recipe for getting stuck.

One way to begin to shift this energy is to ask for what you want in love in general. List the things you want in a lover. You can even visualize your ex, if you must, but keep things OPEN by affirming that this or SOMETHING BETTER will be yours. If you tell the Universe you want happiness and Trevor, and Trevor does not equal happiness for you, you’ll end up frustrated and alone. If you say, Trevor or something better, then if Trevor is not in the cards, the Universe can deliver someone better. There’s nothing wrong with that! If you find yourself saying, But I don’t want someone better, I want Trevor! then, my dear, you’ve got no business spending your hard earned cash on readings. Get yourself a pet and some ice cream, and get really comfortable right where you are in your love life, because you’re not going to be going anywhere fast.

If you’re ready to start shifting your energy and opening up to greater happiness in love, I highly recommend you work with the Manifest Big Love process in Kajama’s Spiritual Toolbox. Soul mate relationships must be born some time in order for us to find each other again, which means you can create NEW soul mates whenever you desire.

May your whole being open to a bright, passionate new beginning in love!

– Kajama hearticontiny

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Mystical Matters: Does Destiny Force Our Hands?

compassDear Kajama:
I know that my true calling is to work in a spiritual field, but for years, I’ve been working in a very high-paying, high-stress job for a large corporation that is loathed by the public for some of its practices. I make a lot of money but I’m embarrassed to tell people what I do, and I absolutely dread going to work because it’s getting more and more stressful. Lately, one thing after another is going wrong in my life. I’d give you a list, but it would be a really long one! My heart is telling me that I need to quit this job and do something I believe in, but I’m afraid to give up the big paycheck. I’m wondering if I’m somehow cursing myself by working for this company. Do you think that when we ignore our inner guidance, we curse ourselves? Or does Spirit try to show us the right path by making the wrong path totally miserable?

Dear Vic:
In my experience, when we are following our inner guidance and listening to our hearts, things tend to work out in magical ways. Similarly, when we ignore our inner guidance, we tend to experience one setback, obstacle and problem after another.

If you want a smooth and happy journey to personal fulfillment, following your inner guidance is essential. There is a difference, of course, between ignoring your inner guidance and ignoring your conscience. Ignoring your inner guidance can leave you feeling vaguely lost and unfulfilled, while ignoring your conscience can line you up for a world of hurt. In my experience, ignoring your conscience is indeed a recipe for feeling cursed. If your conscience is telling you that whatever you’re doing is wrong but you ignore that out of greed, a desire for revenge, self-interest, fear or plain old laziness, you will eventually end up regretting that choice, even if you’re not conscious of the connection between that bad decision and whatever eventually unfolds as a result of it.

It is your inner guidance that is telling you to work in a spiritual way in the future; it is your conscience that is telling you that what you’ve been doing is not the right thing to do. You can ignore your inner guidance by not working in a spiritual way and still be okay; you may not be totally happy and fulfilled, but you have plenty of time to figure all of that out. You can’t ignore your conscience and expect everything to be okay, so if your conscience is telling you that what you do for a living is not the right thing to be doing, I urge you to listen to it!

The further we go down the wrong path, the harder things tend to get. This is because the Universe is trying to get our attention: if we ignore subtle signs that we’re heading the wrong way, then the Universe will send us bigger and more dramatic signs until it gets through to us. These hardships also motivate us to change course: when everything is going fine, we tend to get into ruts where we just keep going along, doing the same job, staying in the same relationship, and following the same old routine. It’s only when things get really unpleasant and difficult that most of us get motivated to open up to new possibilities and explore new options.

Choosing the path of fear over faith is never wise. The path of fear is deadening because it is limited and literally a dead end; the path of faith is enlivening because it is limitless and expansive. We all choose the path of fear sometimes; we may then stay on it until it gets too painful to endure any longer. Here are some examples of the many ways that people choose fear:

  • Bill knows he should quit his job but he’s afraid he won’t be able to find something better and thus won’t be able to take care of his family and pay the bills. He ignores how bad the job feels and ends up miserable for years.
  • Sarah knows she needs to leave her unhappy marriage, but she’s worried about upsetting her children. She’s also worried about being able to support herself on her own, and that her extended family will think she’s being foolish or selfish, so she hangs in there and grows more and more depressed and unhappy every day.
  • Keith’s body keeps telling him that the hard hitting form of martial arts he has practiced and taught for years is no longer good for him, but it’s such a huge part of his identity that he feels lost just thinking about giving it up, so he keeps practicing and suffers constant physical pain.

As you can imagine, I could go on and on in this way: You have only to look around you to see people who are stuck in unfulfilling, deadening and/or painful ruts because they are allowing fear to hold them back from letting go of what was established in the past in order to align with whatever would be a better fit for them now.

Often, people get stuck because they have no idea what they would do instead of whatever they’ve been doing, and they only break free when they realize that they’d rather be broke, alone, out of shape, or whatever it is they fear than to continue on the path they’ve been on. You’re ahead of the game here, for you know that your inner guidance has been calling you to go into a spiritual line of work instead of continuing to do what you’ve been doing.

Even if you’re not exactly sure how you might go about fulfilling your calling, you have only to tell the Universe that you’re ready and willing to summon the courage to change for things to begin to shift. When you’re ready to let go of what isn’t working and move forward without knowing every step of the path you’ll travel in advance, that is when the magic will kick in. All sorts of interesting things will then begin to happen: You’ll meet new people; you’ll receive meaningful signs and messages; new ideas, paths and possibilities will open up to you. The more you continue to find the courage to follow your heart, the more help and guidance will flow in.

Whenever it seems like the path we’re pursuing is a constant upstream battle, we’re wise to stop whatever we’ve been doing, question the assumptions underlying our choices, and then let go and allow ourselves to be guided. This takes great courage and faith, but it’s the only way to find what will work best for us on all levels.

Kajama :)

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Dreams of the Other Side

afterlifeby Echo Bodine

In May 2012, I started having dreams in which I was on the other side with my mom. Night after night, we would meet up with old friends of hers, as well as make the acquaintance of many new friends. At first I thought they were just dreams, but they started feeling more real. Even my waking hours were getting a bit strange. I felt like half of me was on the other side and the other half of me was here trying to live in my body. While this was going on, I was having a heck of a time functioning in my day-to-day life. I was forgetting everything. Conversations I had with people one day were completely erased from my memory the next day. I was sleeping a lot more, getting my usual nine hours at night but then taking two-to-three-hour naps in the afternoon. This went on for two to three weeks.

Then one Tuesday morning in June, I called Mom to see how she was feeling, and her breathing sounded as if she had pneumonia. I asked her to please call the nurse downstairs (she lived in an assisted-living place). I felt really panicky about how bad she sounded, so I called both of my brothers and my sister and alerted them to what was going on. Mom called back to say that the nurse, too, thought it sounded like she had pneumonia and had called an ambulance right away. One of my brothers called to say he would meet her at the hospital, so I was able to go to a scheduled chiropractic appointment. On my way there, I suddenly started hearing over and over in my head, Echo, this is it. Echo, this is it. I called my psychic brother, Michael, and he said he was hearing the same thing in his head.

Michael picked me up when I got home, and we headed to the hospital right away. When we got there we were very surprised to see Mom sitting up in bed, breathing fine, and looking fairly okay and surprised that we were all there. When my brothers went out to talk to the doctors, Mom asked me if I thought she was going to die. I told her what I had kept hearing in my head. She said that that was her sending me very strong thoughts because she was sure she was dying and she wanted me to know. She said right after she sent me those strong thoughts, a voice asked her if she wanted to stay or go, and she said she wanted to stay. Almost immediately, she’d started feeling better.

They kept her overnight but sent her home the next day because she was doing fairly well. The other thing she told me when we were alone was that she was sorry she had been pulling on me so strongly for the past month. She told me she knew it wasn’t fair of her to ask me to go to the other side with her all the time but she was afraid to go alone. I told her I had been having very real dreams of us going over there, and she said yes, she knew that – she was having them too. I was very surprised that she was conscious of these dreams, or out-of-body-experiences, and it made me wonder if many of us go to the other side with our loved ones as they are preparing to leave us but aren’t aware of it. There is still a lot about death that is a mystery to me.

A few months after this experience with Mom, I had a dream that she had died; I even saw her dead body in her bed. The next scene in the dream was of someone telling me they had moved my mother, and when I looked back at her bed, her body was gone. The rest of the dream was of my life without Mom. It was eerily real, emotional, and final.

When I woke up, I was sure Mom had died. I’d think about calling her, and a voice would tell me to let her be. I could see her soul out of her body; she was out almost all day. I didn’t call her that day, which was unusual for me.

The next day I got a nudge to call her. She sounded good and strong, and when I asked how she as doing, she said, God called, and we had another talk about whether I was ready to come home. I said, ‘Not quite.’

She told me that she’d then remained out of her body all day. At various times, she’d found herself sitting on a swing with me, her best friend, or someone else in the family who was still alive, so that let Mom know that she was still alive too.

Over the next few months, my sister started getting odd little nudges about Mom. One day she had the feeling that she should make Mom some rutabagas – not something she’d normally do. When she brought them to Mom, Mom told her that just the day before she’d told God she wasn’t ready to go until she tasted rutabagas one more time!

One of the misconceptions people have about psychics is that we can see when someone is going to die. I can’t tell you how many people have said to me, Please don’t tell me when I’m going to die. As these experiences with my mom show, death is not easy to predict. There may be psychics out there who can pinpoint a person’s exact time of death, but I’d say the majority of us can’t. That’s between our Maker and our soul.

Echo Bodine is the bestselling author of Echoes of the Soul, The Gift, A Still, Small Voice, and most recently, What Happens When We Die. She is a renowned spiritual healer, psychic, and teacher who lectures widely on intuition, spiritual healing, and life after death. She also has a monthly radio show and popular blog. Visit her online at echobodine.com.
Excerpted from the book What Happens When We Die ©2013 by Echo Bodine. Published with permission of New World Library.