Category: Advice Columns

Double Vision: Are Men and Women Different on a Spiritual/Soul Level?

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Do you think that at a spiritual level, men and women are fundamentally different? I'm asking because it seems true to me. I've found that I can usually communicate with women at a much deeper level than with men. When I have been able to really communicate with men, they do seem to be very different at their core. I recently read somewhere that women are in general more spiritually evolved than men; that as we evolve, we naturally incarnate more as women because of our energy/vibration, and because it takes a higher vibration to bring a child through from Spirit into this world. This "evolutionary model" would explain why women are generally more sensitive and intuitive, and also peace-loving. What do you think of this notion? I'm not asking to bash men, but rather because in these modern times, we're force fed the idea that men and women deep down are the same, but they don't "feel" the same to me - they feel fundamentally different. Maybe men and women have so much trouble understanding each other because at a deep level, we're really not the same? Thanks for all you do!

- Linda

Dreamchaser:

I do not think men and woman are fundamentally different on a soul level. I think we are souls stuck inside of human bodies, and those bodies come with heads full of "logic" and raging hormones and a whole host of other mortal things. As a result, we are bound by our humanity in many ways.

I have told so many clients what I am about to say, so if you have heard it already, skip over this part or just let your eyes glaze over for a while. Women tend to be emotionally driven. We get turned on by what we feel emotionally. We can turn off our bodies and our physical needs, but we cannot turn off our "hearts."

Men, on the other hand, tend to be physically driven. Men are turned on by what they see, touch, taste, smell, feel, etc. They can turn off their emotions, but they cannot turn off their bodies. These are not spiritual differences but physical differences that arise from our roles in procreation.

This is the reason why women appear to develop much deeper bonds with other women, and why we feel our friendships are different from the way men are friends. Despite all of this, I'm here to tell you that men can be just as open, caring, sharing, giving and receiving as women.

Throughout my life I have been blessed to have all kinds of people for friends. I have friends who work for the president of the United States and I have friends who went to prison and all sorts of friends in between. I can get just as "deep" with the men as I can the women once the men trust me enough to let me into their emotions. I can also tell you that some men can be kinder and sweeter than any woman on earth, especially in times of crisis.

I feel you personally have a hard time relating to and opening up to men, and that this stems from things that happened to you in the past. You feel the need to defend yourself against men instead of opening yourself up to them, and this is causing you to miss out on a lot.

I know my life has been very balanced as a result of having my nurturing, loving women friends along with my macho but also very loving male friends. As an example, when my father died, two friends came and sat with me. The first was a female friend. She sat with me and "talked to" my soul and helped me remember that Daddy was in a better place, etc.

My male friend came later and put his arm around me, and I got to fall into a great big chest and cry. This is how he nurtured my "emotions." So you see - you too can have the best of both worlds.

I wish you healing so that you can enjoy all that men have to offer as EQUAL spiritual beings.

*****

Astrea:

Men and women are different PHYSICALLY. Sometimes we approach problems in different ways, but that depends on who we are as individuals, not on our gender. People are people, and there is a huge worldwide conspiracy afoot to separate and divide us!

Not only do the Evil Ones want to divide men and women, they want to divide us by race, religion, economy, sexual orientation, lifestyle, etc. You NAME it, kiddo! By dividing us, they take away our power as a whole. This means that the people who get rich from wars and other types of conflict can get much richer. If they keep stirring the pot, we will NEVER unite to bring an end to hunger, stop wars and other conflicts, or enjoy complete freedom of thought.

Every day I hear people say things like, "Well, that's a MAN for you, they have to be right all the time!" or "She changes her mind too much, but that's a woman for you!"

I assure you there are just as many men who frequently change their minds and just as many women who feel a need to be right all the time. We are the SAME. Sometimes we process things differently, but again, those differences are individual, not gender-driven.

Also, anyone who has lived a good number of past lives has been both male and female. When I do past life readings, people are usually downright SHOCKED to learn that they have been the "opposite" gender in another life. "How could I have ever been a MAN?" "You mean I was a GIRL?!"

We are ALL at one time or another a mother, father, son, daughter, friend, spouse and lover. People are people, and at the core, we are all the same. We all experience the highest highs and the lowest lows because we all have the SAME FEELINGS inside!

If you prefer to speak with women friends about some matters and men friends not at all, that's your decision. (That's not based on your gender either, but your own personal preferences.) Don't be BRAINWASHED by popular culture into thinking what THE EVIL ONES want us to believe - that there is no way we can see eye to eye with one another.

Don't let the medieval notion that men and women are spiritually different poison your consciousness! The propaganda to KEEP US APART is vicious and strong. Saying that women are more "spiritual" than men is just falling into a trap that's been set for us for CENTURIES; it's just like saying boys are better at math and science than girls.

I hope you re-examine this idea and hold it up to the light of TRUTH. You'll only share your spiritual path with half of the world unless you look for and embrace all the potential you encounter.

Astrea:

Many times in life we hear, "You will always have what you NEED, but not necessarily what you WANT." Your spirit must have needed to experience the feeling of leaving your human body, and the suggestion in the next chapter of Sylvia Brown's book was all it took to get you there.

Even though you hadn't read it yet, your SOUL recognized the title of that chapter as something it had been seeking, and your soul, knowing that you had that reference to read after your experience, got with it and out you went!

While I don't usually recommend her books, Sylvia Brown has a wide reaching and powerful effect on lots of people. A Gemini like you would be able to relate easily to her writing and put it to good use. Synchronicity - you gotta love it!

I like your description of "getting caught." That's exactly what it feels like, isn't it? One minute you're free and hovering above the room, and the next minute, ZAP! back down into your corporeal form you go!

As a little kid, I loved that "feeling of return." With practice, most of the time we can control that event, but sometimes, when our physical ears hear a distracting noise or something else occurs to knock us back into reality, back we go. With practice you will be able to control your return better.

I find it interesting that you were visiting your mother-in-law and not someone in your own genetic family. Evidently, you and your husband got married for reasons that are even deeper than love. His family's interest in "psychic stuff" will nurture your children in such matters and help them to grow into their own abilities.

You'll never have to be concerned that when your daughter visits them, she'll be discouraged from exploring her own psychic life and power. My parents encouraged me to develop my psychic senses in a time when it wasn't nice to even discuss such things in public. Heck, it's STILL not considered a great topic at the dinner table in some families!

Your kids will get to talk about it ALL and ask questions and read and study. This is going to give them such an edge in life! Talk with your husband about how you want to present this to your kiddos, so that you are united in your approach and ready to tell them their experiences are all natural and okay.

A word or two of warning: Geminis often have difficulty staying grounded in REAL LIFE. Don't get so strung out on your ASTRAL life that you neglect what you're doing here on Earth.

You are at the beginning of a long journey to learn where your power really lies. Try to be patient with this process and take your time.

Double Vision: Falling Out of my Body?

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I had a strange experience a few months ago, and I hope you can tell me what was happening. My father and I were sitting in the car late one evening, waiting to pick my sister up from work, as we didn't want her driving alone at night. Both of us soon dozed off. When I began to fall asleep, I felt very relaxed and comfortable, but I soon had the unsettling feeling that I was falling out of my body, if that makes any sense. I started hearing loud voices talking, but I couldn't understand what any of them were saying. I got scared and tried to scream, but only managed to gasp and whisper "Dad," because I felt like I couldn't breathe. At that point I became aware of where I was and what had happened, and realized that my father had slept through the whole thing. At first I was very disturbed and frightened by the experience, but now I wonder. I have been trying to further develop my psychic abilities, mainly so that I can communicate with my guardian angels. Do you think that my experience has anything to do with my efforts at psychic development? Whose voices did I hear? Could they have been my angels, and if so, how can I do this again? Thanks very much!

- Renee

Dreamchaser:

Renee, you are describing an astral travel or out of body experience. There are many names for it, but it all is the same thing.

I have said repeatedly in this column that when we sleep, our souls leave our bodies to go where they need to go to do whatever soul work most needs doing. When our subconscious mind is shut down and we are not THINKING, our soul can get a whole lot of work accomplished. You just happened to be aware that all of this was happening.

There are two different "normal" scenarios. The first is we wake up with a start, look around and have NO idea where we are, what day it is, what time it is, what we are doing there, or sometimes even who we are. Slowly, the fog lifts and we start to realize what is going on. That happens when our minds/bodies wake up before our souls have time to get back first. We wake up with a start because we actually feel our souls falling back into our bodies, like a person jumping through the doors of a subway train to catch it before it leaves the station. This is actually the more common of the two scenarios. Since our souls are who we really are, if our souls have not come back yet, then we do not have any real understanding of who/what is going on since WE are not there yet.

The second situation is when our souls either get back to our bodies or leave our bodies before our minds do. That is when we are completely aware of what is going on in the Otherworld, but our minds are not with us so we cannot process or comprehend what is going on - we just know that we are afraid. That is what happened to you. You felt your soul leave as you felt that FALLING feeling. Again, you are your soul, therefore you WERE falling out of your body in a manner of speaking. When this happens, people usually jerk UPWARD. If you watch someone sleep, you will see it happen.

As we embark on a spiritual path and welcome new lessons and opportunities, we will start to have more and more bizarre things happen around us and to us. Of course this is a lesson for you, Renee. You asked to see angels and spirits, and what happened? You "saw" them, or at the very least heard them, and immediately you "yelled" for your Dad. Grin. This is a great example of our spirits wanting to grow, and our logical minds trying to interfere via fear, doubt, or any other block we choose to throw up. The next time it happens, try to go with the flow and see where it takes you. You are not in any danger, and you will not in any way be harmed. You are merely "dreaming."

I wish you VIVID "dreams."

2553

Astrea:

What you describe happening to you in your car is a brief experience of Astral Travel. Many people have this happen as they are falling asleep or waking up. When we are in the process of falling asleep or awakening, there is a short time where our Souls are able to travel to other places and dimensions. Some people like to develop this skill so that they can expand it into whole journeys. Some can even do this while awake and aware of their physical surroundings.

Most people, at some time or another, experience something similar to what happened to you. Small children do it all the time, and they have very little fear about doing it or describing it to others. The older we get, the more difficult it is to accept this as a NATURAL part of our existence.

The sensation of spirit leaving the physical plane is always disconcerting at first. The first time someone notices this happening as an adult, it can be very frightening. I've heard many people describe the feeling you had of trying to call out for help but not having their voice cooperate. Without the Body and Spirit connected, you have little or no control over the physical body your spirit has left behind. You probably felt very vulnerable and helpless, which is NEVER FUN.

The voices you heard were the voices of people who were either Astral Traveling at the same time you were, or people Beyond the Veil. If you plan to work on this aspect of your spirituality, with practice you'll be able to discern the different voices and what they are trying to say to you or to each other. In Astral Travel, we often psychically "eavesdrop" on other people's visits and conversations without meaning to. Sound is one of the easiest things to discern when Astral Traveling.

Without knowing exactly what else you have been doing to develop your other psychic skills and abilities, it's difficult for me to pinpoint why this would happen to you at this time. It probably has a lot to do with your age and the open attitude you've been developing through practice and study.

Check out your local library for books about Astral Travel and out of body experiences, and if you feel this is the direction you should go to get closer to your Angels and Guides, try to find someone in your area who is either an expert or has had a lot of personal experience with this kind of work. Astral Travel can be scary, but it's usually also very rewarding. It opens doors that our conscious mind won't open for us in this busy time, and it can lead us to many different wonderful experiences.

Astrea:

Many times in life we hear, "You will always have what you NEED, but not necessarily what you WANT." Your spirit must have needed to experience the feeling of leaving your human body, and the suggestion in the next chapter of Sylvia Brown's book was all it took to get you there.

Even though you hadn't read it yet, your SOUL recognized the title of that chapter as something it had been seeking, and your soul, knowing that you had that reference to read after your experience, got with it and out you went!

While I don't usually recommend her books, Sylvia Brown has a wide reaching and powerful effect on lots of people. A Gemini like you would be able to relate easily to her writing and put it to good use. Synchronicity - you gotta love it!

I like your description of "getting caught." That's exactly what it feels like, isn't it? One minute you're free and hovering above the room, and the next minute, ZAP! back down into your corporeal form you go!

As a little kid, I loved that "feeling of return." With practice, most of the time we can control that event, but sometimes, when our physical ears hear a distracting noise or something else occurs to knock us back into reality, back we go. With practice you will be able to control your return better.

I find it interesting that you were visiting your mother-in-law and not someone in your own genetic family. Evidently, you and your husband got married for reasons that are even deeper than love. His family's interest in "psychic stuff" will nurture your children in such matters and help them to grow into their own abilities.

You'll never have to be concerned that when your daughter visits them, she'll be discouraged from exploring her own psychic life and power. My parents encouraged me to develop my psychic senses in a time when it wasn't nice to even discuss such things in public. Heck, it's STILL not considered a great topic at the dinner table in some families!

Your kids will get to talk about it ALL and ask questions and read and study. This is going to give them such an edge in life! Talk with your husband about how you want to present this to your kiddos, so that you are united in your approach and ready to tell them their experiences are all natural and okay.

A word or two of warning: Geminis often have difficulty staying grounded in REAL LIFE. Don't get so strung out on your ASTRAL life that you neglect what you're doing here on Earth.

You are at the beginning of a long journey to learn where your power really lies. Try to be patient with this process and take your time.

Double Vision: How Can Psychic Consumers Protect Themselves?

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What do you do as a client who requests a certain reading if the psychic insists that she knows best and does something else? I recently had an expensive lesson. The reader decided I didn't know what I wanted - that she did. It was a disappointing waste of money. I paid her in advance for a past life session, and when I went for the reading, she said she had to follow her feelings and give me the reading she felt was best. I paid for two hours - I got 50 minutes; I paid for a past life reading - I got a meditation; I didn't request numerology - 10 minutes were wasted on that; I did not want a quick card reading - another 10 minutes were wasted because everything she said was vague. So how do psychic consumers protect themselves? By the time you realize the reader isn't worth the time or money, it's usually too late.

- Deborah

Dreamchaser:

Deborah, when you pay anyone who does any type of "spiritual" work, you should know up front what you are paying for, what that person is going to do for you, and how long it should take that person to complete the task. At Psychic Chat, you can read the profiles of all the different psychics available. When you find one you feel you can connect with, you pay up front for a certain amount of time. Whatever time is not used is banked in your account. That is an ethical way of doing things. If someone charges you for two hours and only does 50 minutes, you are due a refund worth 1 hour and 10 minutes, or credit for services to be rendered in the future. Period.

I think the best thing to do if your reader gets off track is to bring her right back on. If for any reason you are not connecting, then you should stop the reading, demand a refund of the time/ money not yet used, and leave as soon as possible. It is never too late to realize you are not connecting. You should actually realize that fairly early in the reading. Don't sit around waiting for it to get better, for odds are that it won't.

You can't view something like this as confrontation. Let's use the example of a doctor/ patient situation. You have a headache, earache and sore throat, so you go to your doctor. He walks in and he looks at your chart and immediately begins to check your knee. Are you going to ask him at some point why he is doing that, or at least mention the symptoms that are bothering you? Or are you going to let him treat you for water on the knee? If a dentist numbs the wrong side of your mouth, are you going to stop him before he starts to drill? Why wouldn't you stop a psychic professional as well?

I think people are hesitant to stop their reader because they are afraid to make the psychic mad. Trust me, no psychic is going to cast an evil spell on you if you get up and walk out (or disconnect, in the instance of Psychic Chat). The reader knows you are not connecting just as well as you do, if not better.

If you are unhappy with the service you are receiving in ANY situation, you should absolutely stand up for yourself and say something. If you still receive inadequate service, demand credit and leave. If you do not receive any type of satisfaction from this reader, Deborah, I strongly suggest that you go to the Better Business Bureau and report it. That may stop someone else from getting bilked.

I myself offer past life readings, as do many others at Psychic Chat. Check out our site. I wish you EMPOWERING readings.

*****

Astrea:

A COMPETANT, professional psychic would have offered your money back to you when she discovered that she wasn't going to be able to give you the information you wanted. At that time, you could have either had your money back to seek guidance elsewhere, or changed the format of the reading to something she could handle. In thirty years, I've been asked to refund money TWICE; I GLADLY did so and felt lighter immediately. I refuse to talk to people I can't read because it's a waste of their money and MY TIME.

When a client requests a past life reading from me, I do my best, but sometimes, I get NOTHING for that person as far as his or her past lives are concerned. Sometimes that means they don't have any, and sometimes that means that for some reason I'm blocked from getting that information. I then TRUTHFULLY tell that person that I'm unable to get what they want and CHEERFULLY refund any money I've collected for that service. Any OTHER legitimate psychic would do the same thing.

Unfortunately, there are many fakes and phonies in our business, and many unethical people who just want your money, honey. I don't know any reputable psychic who can make more than mere suggestions to a client about what they should and shouldn't do, LET ALONE what they want from their reading! I never presume to know "what's best" for anyone, I ONLY make suggestions.

Sometimes in a reading, it's the client's perception that they're not getting what they asked for, because they're not hearing the answers they wanted to hear. Yesterday, a client ordered me, "Give me some good news!" and I was forced to say, "As soon as I see any, you'll have it!" That was the nicest way I could put it to her. She was in such a mess that good news was even hard for me to find, and I can usually dredge up SOMETHING good for EVERYONE. Sometimes people will come back to me and say, "I did what you TOLD me, and..." I promise, I NEVER tell people what they SHOULD do in a reading, nor can I conceive of telling a client what they should want from the reading in the first place.

I hope that you don't find yourself in this dilemma again. At the FIRST SIGN of a psychic NOT doing what you've specifically asked for, I recommend you ask for your money back and leave. This isn't rude, it's SMART! Also, if they try to cut your session short, ask for an adjustment or for the time you paid for. That person taking your money is in BUSINESS. In business, the CUSTOMER is always right - ESPECIALLY in SPIRITUAL business, where accountability for our work runs deep.

Astrea:

Many times in life we hear, "You will always have what you NEED, but not necessarily what you WANT." Your spirit must have needed to experience the feeling of leaving your human body, and the suggestion in the next chapter of Sylvia Brown's book was all it took to get you there.

Even though you hadn't read it yet, your SOUL recognized the title of that chapter as something it had been seeking, and your soul, knowing that you had that reference to read after your experience, got with it and out you went!

While I don't usually recommend her books, Sylvia Brown has a wide reaching and powerful effect on lots of people. A Gemini like you would be able to relate easily to her writing and put it to good use. Synchronicity - you gotta love it!

I like your description of "getting caught." That's exactly what it feels like, isn't it? One minute you're free and hovering above the room, and the next minute, ZAP! back down into your corporeal form you go!

As a little kid, I loved that "feeling of return." With practice, most of the time we can control that event, but sometimes, when our physical ears hear a distracting noise or something else occurs to knock us back into reality, back we go. With practice you will be able to control your return better.

I find it interesting that you were visiting your mother-in-law and not someone in your own genetic family. Evidently, you and your husband got married for reasons that are even deeper than love. His family's interest in "psychic stuff" will nurture your children in such matters and help them to grow into their own abilities.

You'll never have to be concerned that when your daughter visits them, she'll be discouraged from exploring her own psychic life and power. My parents encouraged me to develop my psychic senses in a time when it wasn't nice to even discuss such things in public. Heck, it's STILL not considered a great topic at the dinner table in some families!

Your kids will get to talk about it ALL and ask questions and read and study. This is going to give them such an edge in life! Talk with your husband about how you want to present this to your kiddos, so that you are united in your approach and ready to tell them their experiences are all natural and okay.

A word or two of warning: Geminis often have difficulty staying grounded in REAL LIFE. Don't get so strung out on your ASTRAL life that you neglect what you're doing here on Earth.

You are at the beginning of a long journey to learn where your power really lies. Try to be patient with this process and take your time.