Often we take personally the slings and arrows of our ‘abusers’. But frequently we are merely the interchangeable pawns of their own neurotic dramas. Anyone else in your position would have received the same treatment. There is nothing especially noxious or negatively noteworthy about you.
– Brian L. Weiss
When I launched the new Kajama site, I got an interesting array of responses. Most people were wonderfully appreciative, kind, supportive and positive. A few, however, were totally outraged that the site no longer looked as they were used to it looking, and that some of the content was no longer free. As my personal reality is generally free of negativity, I was shocked and felt unfairly attacked by all of this. When I shared my struggles with a friend, she told me a story about a big online business that faced going under or charging a small fee that got the same sort of response: many who valued it signed right up, but some loudly complained. After meditating on all of this, I realized that the reason people were angry was because they were feeling fear: they love what we have to offer, and they didn’t want to lose it. They also believed that they couldn’t afford $5.00/month (which reflects a profound fear of lack), so they lashed out. All of this helped me to remember that the reactions we get from others have very little to do with us personally: how people treat us is about them, not us. Some people are simply flowing love and kindness, while others are flowing fear and negativity. If we pin how we feel on how others treat us, we’re in for an emotional roller coaster ride. If instead, we focus on continuing to flow love and positive energy ourselves and we don’t take others’ behavior personally, we’ll succeed in feeling as we want to feel.