Q and A with Robyn Spizman

Loving Out Loud: The Power of a Kind Word

We hope you will enjoy this short interview with Robyn about the book.

You say in the introduction to Loving Out Loud that you wrote the book, “…to share the magic of loving life and each other out loud.” Please tell us more.

Words when shared evoke a feeling of validation and become a priceless gift and reminder we are cherished. Long after we express our appreciation or a compliment to someone, our words are repeated. And the best part? Someone believes what we said and it can be life changing.

Personally, I appreciate the smallest act of caring and a kind-hearted compliment. A generous spirit, pure in motive, sincere in intent, echoes in my mind and keeps me afloat. Compliments from the heart can turn someone’s day around or start it off with a smile. That’s remarkable stuff and highly underestimated. Loving out loud is intentional and living on the side of being thoughtful and kind can be uplifting and life altering.

What advice do you have to offer those who tend to focus on the negative for making more room in their lives for thoughts that make them feel good?

Sounds simple, but I know it’s not always easy to positively express ourselves. It takes a commitment, practice, and awareness. For negative thinkers, you are changing a habit. We all get negative from time to time and it requires a conscious effort to realize that what we put out in the universe often comes back. For anyone who is primarily negative and/or not big on public displays of affection, you are about to take a risk and live large, but can start small. Try focusing on the positive and what’s right for one day only. We all long to be heard, valued, understood and want to receive empathy and appreciation in return. You’ll be amazed at the benefits being positive creates as you attract new friends, build relationships and bring out the best in others, too. When you share a positive thought, the ripple is a vibration of happiness and has the potential to strengthen or spark a relationship.

You say in the book that it is “more interesting to be interested.” Tell us more about that please.

Showing interest in another person shows that you notice them and they matter. When you ask how their day is going and really listen and follow up, they feel validated. It’s more important to be interested than interesting. Being interesting is great and has its place, but when it’s only “me, me, me,” that leaves out others. Taking a sincere interest in someone else’s story and life is a great way to connect and learn more.

What ideas do you have to offer for celebrating our significant others and encouraging him or her to love us out loud?

Ask for what you want. Sounds simple, but for some people they go a lifetime not getting the love they dream about. First, think about how you respond to being loved, appreciated, and/or thanked. Do you dismiss a compliment as mere flattery or do you take it to heart and say thank you? Do you feel and embrace it or feel less than worthy for the praise? And what about you? Do you share positive feedback out loud when you think something kind about someone? Or do you resist those generous thoughts?

When we spread kindness, we see more kindness in return. If you think a nice thought give it away vs. burying it or missing an opportunity to love out loud. Love comes in all shapes and sizes. Love is a verb and is meant to be shared. Give loving, generous thoughts, away freely without any expectation. Notice what’s right about your significant other vs. what’s wrong and remember how much joy you feel when someone makes you feel loved.

How can we inspire our children to be kinder to each other?

One of the most important chapters in Loving Out Loud is about raising kinder children who learn how being empathetic and helping others is simply the right thing to do. Kind children make friends more easily and get positive feedback. It’s not about being nice for praise or prizes, it’s about how each of us feels inside when we become the reason that someone smiles. It’s easy to make it fun. When my daughter was 3, I appointed her as The CEO of The Thank You Company, a pretend family company that she ran. Her job was to hire all the nice, helpful people we met or observed. During those moments she would say, “You’re hired for my Thank You Company. You’re doing such a good job and I notice how nice you are.” The look on peoples faces from the grocery store and beyond was priceless. She learned to notice generous people making a difference and grew up to be an empathetic, kind-hearted person and understands why showing appreciation to others matters. Children are our future. When they lead with kindness, it can make a world of difference.

If you share one thing with the world right now to make it a brighter place, what message would you share based on your book Loving Out Loud?

When you slow down long enough to care about each person you encounter in a given day, or share a positive thought, the ripple is a vibration of happiness and has the potential to strengthen or spark a relationship. It puts a little pep in our step. Affirming words spoken out loud deliver joy and appear at unexpected times embracing us with good feelings long after they are shared.

Robyn Spizman is the author of Loving Out Loud. She is an award-winning, New York Times bestselling author and popular keynote speaker who has appeared in the media for over three decades, including NBC’s Today show more than thirty times. She lives in Atlanta. Visit her online at robynspizman.com.

Purchase Loving Out Loud on Amazon.com

Excerpted from the book Loving Out Loud. Copyright ©2019 by Robyn Spizman. Printed with permission from New World Library.