I have been reading professionally for about 22 years, and there is still one little wrinkle I’ve yet to iron out. I learned a long time ago not to read for close friends and family, for a variety of reasons. It seems as if I always end up feeling under-appreciated when I do. They seem to feel more like I’m giving them my personal advice instead of channeling spirit. These also tend to be free readings, and I don’t get back from them what I put into this work. It’s also harder to separate what I am getting from spirit from my own opinions sometimes, and it can be harder to communicate the truth if I know they may not be open enough to hear it. So I’m wondering if you will read for close friends and family members. If not, why?
Thank you! Cassandra
Dreamchaser:
What a very common quandary you find yourself in with this question. I absolutely refuse to read for my daughter because she argues with me, insists that I am wrong (for the record: I am never wrong about her life), and then gets mad and storms out of the room – every single time. On the other hand, I will read for my birth mother, as she is very open to whatever spirit has to say to her. She also understands that I do not make up the news, I just deliver it. Those are the two extremes I personally have to deal with in my life, and everyone else falls somewhere in between.
Of course readings for family or close friends are free. I would not know how to go about asking someone I love for money. If you feel that you are being taken advantage of in any way (such as very frequent free readings), then put your foot down and say something. As far as acquaintances go, or friends of friends, I give them a friend rate. I charge enough to make it worth my time, but that’s usually less than what I really need to charge to do this for a living.
You were given this gift to help people, Cassandra. The fact that you make money at it is just a bonus. When you read for people you know, you will never be appreciated like the public appreciates you. I hear it all the time from famous athletes or actors. They say something like, “Everyone in the world adores me and screams my name but my mama just tells me to clean my kitchen.” Those who are close and used to us never really show their appreciation. I do know one thing; your family really does appreciate you. Your wisdom is invaluable to them. We should use this as an example to thank those around us who do for us. Let’s make sure we are not doing the same thing to them that they are doing to us.
If you feel that you cannot separate your personal opinion from the reading, do not read for that person. You know that we cannot use our gifts manipulatively. If you want someone to do something, you cannot tell them that spirit said to do it, unless of course spirit really did say so. Unless you are clear to read someone, do not do it! The reading process should be the same no matter who you are reading for. You tune in, get the messages and start speaking them. If spirit disagrees with your opinion, check your opinion. In my experience, spirit knows best.
The bottom line is that you should not read for anyone you don’t feel right about. Definitely do not read someone if you cannot distinguish spirit from your own wishes. You are free to choose who you will read for.
I wish you clear channels.
*****
Astrea:
I would never read for anyone in my immediate family, and I would never ask them to read for me. What a shocking suggestion! I am neither that arrogant nor foolhardy! Some things are too personal, even for family.
There are several people I actually enjoy doing readings for. These people care about me, and they don’t bug me incessantly. I know and love them. Some other people are just plain fun to read. I’ve been known to give unsolicited readings to hapless friends too! People who know me know how difficult it is to do readings at all. They know it’s not a hobby. If one of those people asks and I don’t feel like it, I say no. If, for some reason I know wonderful psychic friends who won’t feel bad or uncomfortable laying out their fees for readings.
People who are barely acquaintances who ask for freebies fall into the psychic freeloader category to me. I don’t put up with that, and I’m not gentle about vocalizing it either. I open my email daily to many emails from my so-called friends who really just want free readings. They usually say, “How are you, that’s good, now I need to ask you…” They don’t fool me.
Another group I eliminated from my life was comprised of people who pay once or twice for a reading, then think you are a close friend. They expect you to issue a daily report for the rest of their lives. Sometimes they are tricky and will send in little daubs here and there, so that you feel guilty about not staying in touch with them. Those are the psychic “grifters.” I don’t play with those people, either.
There is one other group that I positively will not read. That’s the group of people who want your advice for free, but then tell you what the other psychics they paid say about the subject.
I have clients who are close friends — ex-clients, too! Those people paid for my work, just like I would pay for their work. For them to expect it for nothing devalues everybody.
Sometimes I’m sarcastic; sometimes I try to be cute. The last time one of my friends’ friends (an attorney) said, “Hey, I have a great idea! Why don’t you get out your cards and do a reading for me? Wouldn’t that be fun?” I answered, “Yes…then when we’re done, we can go to your office and go through all the research you need to do for your next six cases. Won’t that be fun?” Something like that usually works, and you avoid all kinds of long explanations.
Most of the time I will answer one or two questions from friends. Then I gently suggest if they want a reading, they schedule one with me or someone else at Kajama.com.