I am an ethical, hardworking nurse, and have always tried to do the right thing, which sometimes means standing up for myself and for what is fair. I’m facing big challenges in gaining employment so I can provide for myself and my son. I have been treated most unfairly by employers several times, and they still badmouth me. I don’t have the money for an attorney, so I have to just keep praying that the people who once said they’d be good references still will. Could I truly be so bad? I’ve always done the best I could for employers. Without an attorney to counter all the bad talk about me, I don’t know what to do. I’ve been victimized, tried to move on, and been victimized again. I am now in dire straights financially. Is there a spiritual reason all this is happening to me, and some way I can turn it around?
– Gina
Dreamchaser:
Sometimes we have to work with people we do not really like and would not associate with personally, so you will never like everyone you work with or for. Furthermore, let me point out that not everyone you work with or for will like you either.
You are not the type of woman who sits back and plays “church mouse” when someone is attacking you or someone else. You tend to stand up for yourself, which will rub some people the wrong way — especially if they are bullies to begin with.
You are not that “bad,” to use your term; in fact, you are not bad in any way. You also do not need a lawyer. Everyone has a right to give whatever type of reference they want. You just happened to have serious personality conflicts in the last few jobs you were in. I’ve heard from a few nurses that doctors or superiors do not like it when a nurse is actually more knowledgeable than they are. (I think the patients appreciate you, however!)
You do have employers who want to give you good references. They said they would; there is no reason for them to tell you that they will give you a good reference and then not do so.
Here’s the rub: I think you are caught in a whirlpool of negativity. You have had so many things go against you the past few years out of which you can’t seem to climb. Everywhere you turn, you face negativity; every new venture you attempt, you face negativity.
Quantum physics proves that what we think is the reality that we create. You are stuck in this negative cycle and so you continue to create more negativity. I suggest you rent a movie called What the Bleep Do We Know? Watch it a few times so you can absorb the concepts that are laid out so skillfully in this film. If you change your thinking, you absolutely can change your reality. Watching this movie is the easiest way I know to absorb these powerful teachings.
You could also start to use sage to clear out the negative energy from your person and your environment. You can buy it from an online auction site if you can’t find it in your area. Light the sage stick, blow out the flames, let it smolder and walk with it through each room of your house. Let the smoke go into every corner and every crevice. You can do this as many times as you feel is necessary. It will change the energy in your house and inside of you as well.
Start with those two suggestions and watch things change around you.
I wish you balance.
*****
Astrea:
I believe most nurses can relate to your complaints. I have several friends and clients who are nurses. Because they love the work they do, they hang in there and protect their patients from the bureaucracy of hospitals and nursing homes.
My best friend has been fired three times this year for being too strong an advocate for her patients. I also have friends who work in hospitals and nursing homes in support, billing, cleaning and food service. They seem to feel the same as you do: that they are underpaid, under-appreciated, and often downright abused.
It’s not anything you have personally done. The whole medical profession is suffering. Unlike many other countries, our government in the United States hasn’t made open and affordable health care a top priority. Medicine is big business in this country, and that is causing all kinds of problems for those who work in that field and need its services. I’m sure you find it almost impossible to be the sort of caregiver you want to be given the obstacles you face at every turn.
Since you can’t afford a private attorney, I feel you should contact the American Civil Liberties Union. They have attorneys who specialize in problems such as yours. These attorneys handle cases where people are harassed at work, unfairly treated, and brow-beaten by their employers. There is no charge for their services, and you can find them in the white pages of your local telephone directory.
If there is anything that can be done to prevent your former employers from speaking badly of you to other prospective employers, the folks at the ACLU will know what it is. They are very nice people and are used to talking to folks like you who find themselves in desperate times due to unfair treatment.
Here’s another idea: perhaps you’d be happier if you went back to school and took courses to become a Nurse Practitioner so you could be more independent and work for yourself. One of my friends has taken a job as a “traveling nurse.” She goes to homes in the Appalachians — sometimes in places so remote that she is required to walk or travel on horseback. She finds this far more interesting and rewarding than hospital work. It’s also more spiritual because she gets to build personal relationships with her patients and is supported by the people she works for.
Check the internet for courses in your area so you can free yourself from the bonds of the “established” medical machine and love your nursing career again.