An Excerpt from LOVE LOST, LOVE FOUND by Tatiana Jerome
It takes a lot of courage to start over by getting to know others, but — and most important — it takes even more to start over by getting to know yourself. It sounds tough, but it’s not impossible. It is, however, time to change your perspective according to author Tatiana Jerome in her book Love Lost, Love Found: A Woman’s Guide to Letting Go of the Past and Finding New Love. She shares, “Even though your relationship has ended, you are not really losing anything. In fact, you are regaining our sense of self. You get to take a new approach to enjoying the world. You have the opportunity to love in a different way. You can bring forward a new you, an upgraded you.” We hope you’ll enjoy this excerpt from the book.
Starting over requires you to have an open mind about what comes next. It’s easy to be strict in your thinking about what you want and just stick to that. When I say you should have an open mind, I mean you should still have standards but just be open to the package that your standards may come in.
For example, thinking that you have one “type” and one type only prevents you from meeting other kinds of individuals and exploring new facets of this vast world God has put you in. Also, if everyone knows you have a type, how will that work for you when they introduce you to all the tall blond musicians but neglect to introduce you to the short brown-haired stockbroker — who would be perfect for you? Again, it’s okay to have standards and preferences, but you need to be open-minded enough for those standards to appear to you in the most divine way possible. Your type may have worked for you five years ago, but that does not mean it will work for you today. Actually, let’s hope it doesn’t, since you have probably evolved since that time.
Maybe right now you are wondering why we’re talking about being open-minded when you’re just trying to get yourself together. Being open-minded allows you to continue to be a student of life rather than saying you no longer want to be part of this aspect of life that God calls love. Being open-minded does not mean having your guard down. It means trying new things with discernment. It means exploring life and other elements of this world that you have yet to discover. When you are open to life’s pleasures, you discover new parts of yourself and heighten your awareness of the beauty within and the beauty of everything that’s around you. In turn, this radiant quality will attract the right people and situations to you.
Overthinking Ruins Things
Now that you are starting fresh, you might find yourself overthinking the many things that can simply just be. Overthinking can stem from fears and burdens that you have yet to let go of. Instead of letting go, we carry them with us and dwell on possibilities that may never happen. You can dwell on them so much that you miss out on the present moment and prevent what God has put his hand on. Because of all the thoughts running through your head, life is no longer an organic experience for you but a calculated process.
Overthinking can cause anxiety and even depression; you are choosing to think your way through a situation instead of letting God take care of it. This unwanted disease of overthinking can cause you to be your own worst enemy rather than your own best friend. Learn to take the moment as it is. Learn to love yourself as you are. Learn that what is to be for you will always be for you, regardless of what happens, so do not chase it away with your overthinking.
Overthinking is a form of self-sabotage. Your mind is trying to have control over the situation. You are not in a place of peace but a place of anticipation for either better or worse to come. The truth is, you block whatever blessing could be happening right in front of you when you imagine the moment to be happening differently, as if what is happening right now is not perfect enough. Simply cease overthinking by allowing yourself to accept that what you see is what it is. What you feel is what it is. What is happening is what it is. You move forward by going forward. Do not let your fears and past disappointments put you in a state of overthinking what is happening now. You are starting over, so it’s time to let go of whatever holds you back from accepting more and better for yourself.
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Tatiana Jerome, author of LOVE LOST, LOVE FOUND turned her personal experience into not just a thriving online presence but a career counseling women and speaking at a variety of organizations. She lives in Florida and her website is www.tatianajerome.com.
"Life happens. Life in the flow."
We learn over time that nobody can solve our problems, but someone can guide you how to solve the problem. You may receive guidance through a teacher, a guru or even strangers that you run into every day. As we practice yoga we learn that the more we know, the less we truly know. Every day I am reminded how much I truly do not know; a very humbling experience.
Yoga teaches me to be present. To just live for being and enjoying life as it is right NOW. Not ten minutes from now, no five days ago, but right now. We are taught to get out of our heads, to release worries and fears of the past or the future and to only live for this very moment. Presence.
"Lead me from untruth to truth, lead me from darkness to light." ~ Buddha
Through yoga we are reminded that we do have a dark side as well as a light side. We are not to repress the dark side, but embrace that side of our Self. We are the yin and the yang. We ultimately cleanse the dark stuff we hold inside. We shine the light on this. We must make friends with dark side. Both positive and negative balance out the whole. Daily practice refines and improves our inner vision to see our Self more clearly. We no longer need to run from fears. Face them and say I'm not running from you anymore. So much is in our heads, so much dark is only in our heads, self-doubt judgment betrayal. Yoga grounds the body so that the light and dark sides of ourselves become clear. So much is truly untrue. But as we diligently practice we are able to find the middle ground and walk our centered balanced line in life. We gain balance in centered lightheartedness. We can have harmony in both light and dark.
"Yoga tells us that the world is actually a projection of our own thoughts and we can modify our inner world to manifest into our outer world. When our inside realm is at peace and in harmony, our outer world shines this projection back at us." ~ David, Jiva Mukti Yoga co-founder
Yoga is observation.
We can observe our world and see what part that is in us is begin reflected back to us. We can then see what part of us needs modification or adjustment in order to have our outer reality reflect back to us the peace, happiness and love we so greatly desire and deserve.
Yoga is already inside of you. Happiness is there. Yoga helps you peel away the onion layers to get to the core. To freedom. The deepest Divine connection to the Ultimate Light Source.
Come out of wanting and back into acceptance and Joy. A yogi or yogini can turn any situation into bliss. That is a yogi. Yoga is being now. Ultimate yoga is meditation. Just BE.
Yoga is love.
"Love is the light that dissolves all walls between souls." ~ Paramahansa Yogananda
Through a dedicated practice of all forms of yoga we can participate in the world with a sense of freedom, unaffected from trauma, depression, anger, etc. The freedom is balance in both.
Maggie Anderson is a Yoga & Spiritual Teacher, Reiki Master Teacher, Integrated Energy Therapy® Master Instructor, Soul Coach®, Past Life Coach, Magnified Healing® Master Teacher and Angelights Messenger. She is the author of How I Found My True Inner Peace and Divine Embrace. You can contact Maggie at SpiritualCompassConnection.com.
"Follow Your Bliss. It's Your Spiritual Compass."