An Excerpt from The Wheel of Healing with Ayurveda by Michelle S. Fondin
Have you ever come to a crossroads in your life where you have achieved many of your major goals, and where you recognize you are unhappy and that something must change? You obtained an education, found the love of your life, had a couple of kids, bought the car, the house, and the vacation home, and then, in a panic-stricken moment, looked around with discontent and said to yourself, “Now what?”
Over the course of our life, we often ask ourselves, “Why am I here?” “What am I supposed to be doing?” Or: “Now what?” Many times we ask this question in relation to a career, education choice, or goal. Most often, the question is linked to the financial outcome we expect to have when we have reached a goal or achievement. Unfortunately, most of us think of dharma, or purpose, in terms of something big, such as becoming a movie star or a sports hero. But it doesn’t have to be quite so grandiose.
In the Indian tradition, the word dharma, although not easily translated, can be considered one’s “righteous duty” or “virtuous path.” For example, it is a bird’s dharma to fly, a cow’s dharma to produce milk, and a bee’s dharma to make honey. It is your duty to live according to your dharma. And when you do, you are living in harmony with nature and the cosmos.
Being in harmony with the universe lets you feel like life is flowing. You have a sense of easily flowing downstream instead of constantly fighting your way up a current. All of us have experienced moments in our lives when we were “in the flow” or “living on purpose.” Think back to the time when you first fell in love and this love was returned. For weeks and maybe months, you were floating on clouds, time had no bearing, and it didn’t matter what the weather was like or who insulted you. You were in love. The whole world could come crashing down around you, and as long as you were with your beloved it didn’t matter. Love is every person’s dharma; and when you are in love, you have purpose. So does that mean we are to walk around with hearts and cupids all day? It might be interesting, but it might also get boring after a while. And we all know that the feeling of falling in love generally doesn’t last forever. But that’s the idea.
Other moments of flow you may have experienced might be scoring the winning basket for the final game in the season, baking the perfect cake, gazing into your baby’s eyes for the first time, or leading a chorus in unison. These are what psychologist Abraham Maslow, in his Religions, Values, and Peak-Experiences (1964), referred to as “peak experiences.” A peak experience is when time stands still, you are completely absorbed in the present moment, and whatever you are doing is effortless. You experience bliss and ease and recognize that the moment is right.
You may have many purposes in life; your purpose may change over time or develop in a way you never anticipated. Dharma does not have to be big in order to be meaningful. Living your dharma could entail raising children, being a bank teller, building houses, or picking up trash. If your work is effortless, you have a love for what you do, and you are in service of humanity, then you are in dharma. Other indications that you are in dharma are a sense of lightness in your body, a joyful or glowing feeling upon awakening in the morning, or a sense that time is flying by. I’m sure you’ve heard the expression “Time flies when you’re having fun.” When you are in dharma, your work is fun. Observe children at play, and you may notice that when a mother tries to take her child away from a highly creative playtime the child will protest. This is because the child is absorbed in the present moment. She is in dharma. Dr. Maria Montessori, the first Italian woman doctor and the originator of Montessori education, stated, “A child’s play is his work.” We can learn a lot from children about living in dharma.
We live in a world of overachievers. Western society teaches us that in order to be successful, we must get good grades, play an instrument, excel at a sport, be the president of a club or association, go to a top university, get the best salary at a Fortune 500 company, buy a big house, and drive an expensive car. And the list goes on. Do you get the picture?
Recently a retired woman who was learning meditation with me explained that her husband of twenty-two years thought she was a failure because, according to him, she lived a “small life.” To illustrate her point, she said, “I raised two boys, of whom I’m very proud, I was a manager at a large corporation, and I took care of my husband and the house. How could he say that I lived a ‘small life’?” The sadness and frustration that emanated from her is a result of the disease that affects our society when it comes to the perception of success.
Michelle S. Fondin is the author of The Wheel of Healing with Ayurveda. She holds a Vedic Master Certificate from the Chopra Center and is a member of the National Ayurvedic Medical Association and Yoga Alliance. She treats clients at her Ayurvedic Path center, speaks and offers workshops, and lives in Herndon, Virginia. Visit her online at michellefondin.com.
Excerpted from the book The Wheel of Healing with Ayruveda ©2015 by Michelle S. Fondin. Printed with permission of New World Library. www.newworldlibrary.com