I have been feeling like I must be praying all wrong. I have been praying so hard for the past six years for me and my ex-husband to reunite, but to no avail. Now all I pray for is to not be alone anymore, and for God, the universe, spirit or my guardian angel to please send me a soul mate. I am so tired of being alone and just want somebody to love again. I loved being a wife and mother, and I believe that we as humans were put on this earth to share our lives with a soul mate and not to be alone. Can you please offer me some guidance on how to pray correctly so maybe my prayers can finally be answered? I feel so discouraged lately because I just don’t understand how I could pray so much for so many years and for nothing to change for the better for me. Your help would be much appreciated. Thank you!
– Mona
Dreamchaser:
Mona, you have no idea how common your situation is. I am sure you will help many by asking this question.
Every single human being on earth has free will to do with as we please. You can pray until the end of the world for your ex to come back. If he, however, does not choose to come back, God can not and will not (as a provision of free will) do anything to interfere. It is not God’s fault that your ex is not back. The blame lies solely on your ex’s shoulders. Period.
It’s easy to forget this in personal relationships. Human beings have free will and often use it unwisely. Because people make bad choices all the time there is what I call the “Make-a-Mistake-Rule.” If Party A makes a bad choice and leaves what could be a fabulous relationship with Party B, then Party B should not suffer until the end of time for Party A’s stupidity. Therefore, Party B will be given someone even better than Party A with whom to attempt to make a relationship.
Right about now you are saying, “So where is mine?” First, if we wallow and pine for someone, like you did your ex, we obviously are not open to anyone new. If Mr./Ms. Right crossed our path, not only would we not want to go to dinner with him/her, but we probably would not notice him in the first place. Love can only come to us when are really ready and open for it. Sometimes we say we are ready and open for it, but we really are not.
I want to say that I absolutely believe you will have the life and love that you want. Before you can move into that giving and loving relationship, however, you have to make peace with yourself and your current situation. You have to find balance, peace, contentment and joy in living everyday life. You keep looking for a relationship to make you happy and since you are not in one, you are unhappy and feel like a failure. Instead of finding the blessings and joy in being single, you see it as a curse. You have to get happy with yourself before you can you enjoy a full relationship.
You are not praying incorrectly, Mona. You are simply praying for the wrong things. Pray for joy and contentment in everyday living. Pray for love to come into your everyday life on every level. Stop and watch a bird fly by, smell a flower, watch the children playing in the park, etc. Take time to enjoy your life as it is now and you will come to find love. That fact I promise you.
I wish you real, true love.
*****
Astrea:
God is busy with war, hunger and hatred on a global level. Angels are guides only, and cannot force us to do anything. We do not live passive lives; we make active choices, decisions and mistakes every day, with or without God’s influence.
I don’t believe there is a right or wrong way to pray. I was always taught by my family and other spiritual advisors to pray in my own way. I also do not believe it’s possible to pray a partner into your life. We are on our own in terms of making that happen.
Do you begin your prayers with thanking God for all the blessings that you have in your life? Would your ex-husband be the best person to be with you? Perhaps God and your angels were protecting you from further unhappiness by not allowing that to occur. Perhaps in some ways, you blocked that from happening yourself. By abdicating the power of the God in you, you became too passive to affect any real change in your situation. God will allow you to find someone as soon as you take responsibility for looking for that someone, and quit waiting for him to drop from the sky straight into your lap.
After six years, you gave up on the lost cause of praying your husband back into your life. You changed your approach and now you pray, “Just not to be alone.” You pray for a soul mate to be “sent” into your life.
I don’t believe that God furnishes romance for us. I believe that we are responsible for our own happiness, and that God helps. I don’t see much evidence of us having a set partner or soul mate for every person. I believe a person can be complete and enlightened alone, and may not need the mirror of another person to see herself with love.
God puts us here with free will to choose what we want in our lives. God and your angels don’t have much control over the actions you take with that free will. If you choose not to be alone, then you must also choose to do what is required of you to find that special person to share your life. You have choices, and those choices have consequences. Now it’s time to choose to take conscious and active actions to facilitate your own happiness with God’s help, of course. You are responsible for coming up with a solution to your loneliness, not God.
There is an old saying: “God answers all prayers, and sometimes the answer is ‘no.’ ” Be sure that what you desire is an enlightened spirit, and answers will begin to flow to you.