I am a Libra, and I have a terrible time standing up for myself with men. I lose myself and am willing to adapt to what they want and need and just forget about my own desires. I become needy, dependent and clingy, and end up very angry because I don't like myself when I am like this, but I don't know how to stop it. Intellectually, I know and believe I deserve better, but emotionally I have no willpower and feel helpless. I was married for a few years to a much younger man, and of course it ended up being an abusive relationship. I put up with that for a while, but I eventually I did put my foot down and end it. Is it possible that this stems from a past life? I see so many other women who are like this - who fear being alone, are desperate to be married or to please a man. Given women's roles throughout history, is it possible that this unhealthy behavior stems from past life experiences? If so, then how can we leave the past behind and make the most of the freedom and power women have in this day and age? - Mare
Dreamchaser:
Mare, throughout history, a woman's role was just as powerful as a man's, if not more so in some cases. Look at Cleopatra. Women were queens, generals, priestesses, healers, and every other position of "power" imaginable. Men and women fought side by side on battlefields for centuries. Women had equality and the respect of men.
When men started to fear the power women had, they figured the way to control us was to take away our power. Granted, they can never turn off the power of sex appeal, but they could make sex a sin for which we will burn in hell forever. Since King James mistranslated the Bible for his own benefit, women have suffered GREATLY.
We are FINALLY seeing women in politics and in places of "power" again. This time is VERY exciting for women because we are gaining speed and momentum. Men are turning into very hip, cool whole beings by embracing their feminine sides, and women are embracing our masculine sides and it is exactly how it should be! So let us NOT leave the past behind; let us embrace our history and the place we once stood, which was right beside men, holding equal power.
Why are you desperate to be with a man, even if he treats you poorly? Having a man does not validate you in any way. It does not make you more desirable, needed or vital. It just means that you are sharing time with a member of the opposite sex.
You are looking for love outside of yourself, Mare. You think if a man is with you and loves you, then you will be happy because you feel worthy somehow. I tell people day in and day out that love cannot make us happy. Having someone in our lives cannot fulfill us deep down. At first, during the "Butterfly Period," we are happy, but then reality sets in and we realize we are back to square one. You must find your happiness inside of yourself, Mare. You know this! You have to be your own complete individual before you can give anything real and lasting to anyone else.
I suggest you go on a "dating embargo." I propose that you do not attempt to date any man for at least six months. I want you to work on making yourself happy every single day. If you want chocolate chip ice cream for dinner, then get some. Do what YOU want, when you want, for the next six months.
It will be hard at first to break that "man habit" you've developed, but once you get rolling with it, you will REALLY like it. Once you start making yourself happy, you will automatically manifest a better class of people in your life. Try it if you dare!
I wish you contentment.
*****
Astrea:
The mass media is responsible for most of the desperation you describe in women. Day after day, television inundates us with unsavory propaganda, especially the idea that we're nothing if we don't have a MAN. Check out any soap opera or primetime comedy, and the plot will focus on a woman trying to TRICK a man to be with her, or a family whose members are dishonest with one another, or children disrespecting others. VERY POOR VALUES are being pushed onto young women (and men) by mainstream media ALL the time. We seem to be in a state where television has become Mother and God. This is very dangerous. It has created a hunger for DRAMATIC EMOTION that can undo people's attempts at true happiness.
While many INDIVIDUAL relationships result from Past Life Karma, the abundance of women who are willing to do anything at all to be with some man and/or married are not in that situation. People want to share their lives with someone. We're also animals, and we want to reproduce. At the highest Soul Power, we want to form a bond with someone who is complimentary so that we can practice abundant Love. Everyone wants to be loved by someone who really understands them, and it is normal to seek joy in the presence of others. What is NOT normal is to settle for anyone you can get no matter how awful that person behaves.
You have not fallen into the common Libra pattern of BLAMING others and the UNIVERSE for your "hard luck." You seem quite aware of what you've done in the past and what you're still doing. Stop choosing to be a VICTIM, and stop hanging around with these LOSERS! Seek higher quality in your partner material. Those men are out there - I talk to them every day at Psychic Chat. There are loving, caring, giving men of EVERY sign who are looking for an EQUAL partnership with a woman.
People can choose to be victimized, or they can choose to seek happiness. Air Signs seem to crave DRAMA more than others. I know all you Aquarians, Geminis and Libras will be upset with me, but take ten minutes to look at the choices you made early on in your life, and what you learned (or didn't) from those choices. SEE?
In your specific case, even with all your awareness about the poor choices you have made, you seem to think you have to keep doing that. WHY? You do NOT have to keep being a RUG for guys to walk all over. The ONLY person that you can change is YOU, so become someone who respects herself and expects the BEST from others, and that's what you'll GET! You can do it if you want to - anyone can.
Astrea:
Many times in life we hear, "You will always have what you NEED, but not necessarily what you WANT." Your spirit must have needed to experience the feeling of leaving your human body, and the suggestion in the next chapter of Sylvia Brown's book was all it took to get you there.
Even though you hadn't read it yet, your SOUL recognized the title of that chapter as something it had been seeking, and your soul, knowing that you had that reference to read after your experience, got with it and out you went!
While I don't usually recommend her books, Sylvia Brown has a wide reaching and powerful effect on lots of people. A Gemini like you would be able to relate easily to her writing and put it to good use. Synchronicity - you gotta love it!
I like your description of "getting caught." That's exactly what it feels like, isn't it? One minute you're free and hovering above the room, and the next minute, ZAP! back down into your corporeal form you go!
As a little kid, I loved that "feeling of return." With practice, most of the time we can control that event, but sometimes, when our physical ears hear a distracting noise or something else occurs to knock us back into reality, back we go. With practice you will be able to control your return better.
I find it interesting that you were visiting your mother-in-law and not someone in your own genetic family. Evidently, you and your husband got married for reasons that are even deeper than love. His family's interest in "psychic stuff" will nurture your children in such matters and help them to grow into their own abilities.
You'll never have to be concerned that when your daughter visits them, she'll be discouraged from exploring her own psychic life and power. My parents encouraged me to develop my psychic senses in a time when it wasn't nice to even discuss such things in public. Heck, it's STILL not considered a great topic at the dinner table in some families!
Your kids will get to talk about it ALL and ask questions and read and study. This is going to give them such an edge in life! Talk with your husband about how you want to present this to your kiddos, so that you are united in your approach and ready to tell them their experiences are all natural and okay.
A word or two of warning: Geminis often have difficulty staying grounded in REAL LIFE. Don't get so strung out on your ASTRAL life that you neglect what you're doing here on Earth.
You are at the beginning of a long journey to learn where your power really lies. Try to be patient with this process and take your time.