My son was born 02/08/1993. He passed away of cancer on 11/02/08. Since then, I have been trying to connect with him. I ask him to come to me in my dreams, to flicker my lights - anything to validate that he is with me and hasn't forgotten his life here on Earth. I haven't received anything from him yet. I pray to my spirit guides and ask for help, but no one is answering. It's making me question the afterlife and if it really exists. I have been struggling ever since he passed from cancer. I'm lost and feel very alone without him. I need to hear from my boy and know that he's all right. I want to know that he hasn't forgotten me or his younger brother and if he misses me. I'm just so worried about him. Please, any help would be appreciated. I feel I can't go on without some validation from my son.
Jen
Astrea:
I can't think of anything worse than losing a loved one to cancer; it's the most helpless feeling in the world. Losing an elderly loved one is bad enough, but losing a child is the worst thing ever.
Even the most spiritual, enlightened people have a very difficult time saying goodbye and trusting that we will all see each other again. Nevertheless, we will. That's just the way the Universe works.
There are all sorts of reasons we may long for contact but be disappointed or frustrated in our efforts. Sometimes it's our sadness that blocks us from receiving signs, information and advice from those who have crossed over. Sometimes we're too stubborn in our approach. Sometimes we try too hard. The most difficult thing to do is relax and wait for our departed loved ones to be ready to share with us.
I honestly don't know if our people miss us or not. I don't think they do. I think part of being in Heaven is being in that Paradise of the Mind. I don't think sadness or longing can be a part of that. Of course, none of us wants our people to be unhappy in the afterlife.
I know they think of us with fondness and that they often come to see if we're doing well. They can see us whether we see them or not. Missing someone is more of a human thing to do; the Divine are probably beyond that. I know they care what happens to us and they guide us when they can, but I have to believe that Paradise is wonderful and beautiful and that all suffering and unhappiness ends there.
I'm sure that when we are reunited again, our departed loved ones will say they missed us because that's the right thing to say. Personally, however, I don't want anyone over there to feel any longing about being here. We must keep the faith that our loved ones are taking it easy and waiting for us to join them, but aren't in a hurry to have that happen!
Because I lost my own father to cancer a year ago, I understand how miserable you are not to be hearing from your son. It's not unusual for those who have crossed over to take a year or more to come back to us in a form that we can perceive and understand. Don't give up trying to contact your son; he'll come through to you as soon as he's able to do so.
Also, look for tangible signs of your son's love for you. Daddy leaves me dimes. Look around and you'll discover something that your son has waiting for you every day to show that you're with him and he is with you.
Keep the faith and believe me: we will all see our departed loved ones again one day.
*****
Susyn:
I am sorry for your loss. There is nothing more tragic than having our children precede us in death. It must be very disheartening to realize that, no matter how hard you've tried or how much you've believed, you have been unable to contact him or sense his presence so far.
Oftentimes when we are very close to a situation and carry high emotions around it, we can actually block messages and signs from coming through. Thus the more you try to contact him, the more fear or pain may be blocking your ability to do so.
I can assure you that your son is doing well and that he is often near you and his younger brother. Because he is an Aquarius, he may try to make his presence known by affecting electrical equipment in your home. Computers, cell phones, monitors and electronic games were probably his favorite means of communication while he was here on earth, so you may want to watch for electrical equipment of this nature to act up as a sign that he is trying to communicate with you or let you know he is near.
Some spirits will try to come to us through dreams, signs or sensations. A tingling or burning sensation, a familiar odor that fills a room for no reason, hearing his voice in the distance or spotting his favorite toy, animal or movie when you least expect to see it are all ways a loved one who has passed over can let us know they are near.
A more overt way to connect with him may have to come from a third party. If you schedule a reading with a reliable psychic or channeler who specializes in relaying messages from the spirit world, you should be able to carry on a conversation with him. He will also be able to tell you what signs he will send you and how to interact with him on your own.
When you can have a direct conversation with him, not only will you be assured that he is all right and doing well, you can ask him if he has any requests of you or his brother. You can also make requests of your own or ask pressing questions. Though a reading of this type can't fill the hole that has been left in your heart since his passing, it will relieve some of the fear and pain you continue to experience based on your inability to connect with him.
It is understandable to doubt the existence of an afterlife when no evidence has been forthcoming, but I encourage you to keep watching for signs of his presence. Connecting with your son through a third party via a reading or channeling session may prove the key that opens the door to more frequent and undeniable contact with him.
Astrea:
Many times in life we hear, "You will always have what you NEED, but not necessarily what you WANT." Your spirit must have needed to experience the feeling of leaving your human body, and the suggestion in the next chapter of Sylvia Brown's book was all it took to get you there.
Even though you hadn't read it yet, your SOUL recognized the title of that chapter as something it had been seeking, and your soul, knowing that you had that reference to read after your experience, got with it and out you went!
While I don't usually recommend her books, Sylvia Brown has a wide reaching and powerful effect on lots of people. A Gemini like you would be able to relate easily to her writing and put it to good use. Synchronicity - you gotta love it!
I like your description of "getting caught." That's exactly what it feels like, isn't it? One minute you're free and hovering above the room, and the next minute, ZAP! back down into your corporeal form you go!
As a little kid, I loved that "feeling of return." With practice, most of the time we can control that event, but sometimes, when our physical ears hear a distracting noise or something else occurs to knock us back into reality, back we go. With practice you will be able to control your return better.
I find it interesting that you were visiting your mother-in-law and not someone in your own genetic family. Evidently, you and your husband got married for reasons that are even deeper than love. His family's interest in "psychic stuff" will nurture your children in such matters and help them to grow into their own abilities.
You'll never have to be concerned that when your daughter visits them, she'll be discouraged from exploring her own psychic life and power. My parents encouraged me to develop my psychic senses in a time when it wasn't nice to even discuss such things in public. Heck, it's STILL not considered a great topic at the dinner table in some families!
Your kids will get to talk about it ALL and ask questions and read and study. This is going to give them such an edge in life! Talk with your husband about how you want to present this to your kiddos, so that you are united in your approach and ready to tell them their experiences are all natural and okay.
A word or two of warning: Geminis often have difficulty staying grounded in REAL LIFE. Don't get so strung out on your ASTRAL life that you neglect what you're doing here on Earth.
You are at the beginning of a long journey to learn where your power really lies. Try to be patient with this process and take your time.