I've been in a very troubling relationship for the past five years. When I met my lover, he was married but separated from his wife, and in the process of getting a divorce. Since they divorced, his ex has used their three boys to try to win him back. For example, he is only allowed to see his kids if he does things with her. A few years into our relationship, we had a son together, and our son is now one year old. He left me when I was three weeks pregnant, and has come and gone from our relationship a number of times. Recently I learned that I am pregnant again, which is incredible, since I had to have all sorts of fertility treatments to get pregnant the first time. Before I learned I was pregnant this time, I went to visit his mother's grave. (His mother was murdered by his father when my lover was just two years old). I sat at her grave and cried and prayed for her to help my relationship with her son, both for my sake and for the sake of her grandson. I asked for a sign of what I should do - if I should let him go or keep trying to work things out. Just over a month later, I learned that I was pregnant again, and had conceived around the time I visited her grave. A psychic told me that this child needs to be born, that it is someone who did not fulfill their life's purpose. Do you believe this is possible? If so, could the spirit of this child be his mother, whose life ended in such a tragic way? I look forward to hearing from you. Mahalo and Aloha!
Teia
Dreamchaser:
While the psychic was correct, this child is not your lover's mother reincarnated. I will go into that more in a minute so that you fully understand.
Our souls pick lessons that we need to learn. Then our souls pick the lifetimes, geographic regions and most importantly, the people that we need to live with. I know this is hard to fathom for those who have had really horrible lives full of abuse, neglect and hardly any love, but not every lifetime is pretty, and not every lifetime is full of love and prosperity.
To every day, there is also a night. To have good and prosperous lifetimes, we must also go through more challenging lifetimes. Our souls learn much in both kinds of experiences.
Both of my kids were birth control pill babies who CHOSE to come here. Souls choose their paths and then things just happen. The child that you are asking about is proof of this. This child needed your DNA and your lover's DNA. This child chose you as parents, and to be born into this particular situation to learn certain soul lessons.
You and your lover are helping this soul fulfill the path that it chose before coming back here to Earth. So yes, the psychic was right. In order for our souls to fulfill their purpose, they must live all the lifetimes they need to live and learn all the lessons they need to learn. Then and only then can we ascend and stay on the Otherside as spiritually realized beings.
You need to know that his mother cannot really help you with your relationship with your lover. No one on the Otherside can by-pass free will or personal choice. She cannot make her son do anything - no one can, not even God.
Your lover has to choose what he wants here with you, whether that means he lives with you and your kids or the other woman and her kids. Obviously, he is going back and forth on this because he can't decide what he wants to do. This has to be HIS choice, so no one who can do or say something that will change how this is right now.
I have a message for you from his mother: You need to do what is best for you and yours. I know you love my son, but your needs and the needs of your children should come first. You can't stay tore up all the time and not eat properly or sleep properly and live a healthy and successful life. It is even worse when you are pregnant. Take care of you first, then your kids, and THEN worry about him. PLEASE.
I wish you all good health on all levels.
*****
Astrea:
Oh, Beloved, the baby you're carrying may very well need to be born to fulfill its own life, but it is not your lover's deceased mother. This baby is a product of a relationship which has been torn since the beginning, and needs to heal.
While expected children are capable of great miracles, you need to begin to create NEW miracles in your own life to prepare for the coming of this new baby. This child will indeed CLARIFY your relationship, but it will not cause your lover's heart to heal to the point that he can be the strong person you need him to be for you.
While I am sure his mother heard your prayers, departed family members are rarely found in a cemetery. It is, however, a good place to say prayers and have them heard. Lots of spirits were probably present when you prayed. The reason you easily became pregnant was because in those moments, you were cleansed of the emotional and physical problems that caused it to be so difficult for you to become pregnant before. Tears cleanse EVERYTHING in our lives. Water is emotion, and emotions flowing are always healing - even when they aren't happy emotions.
Unfortunately, your man has not had a similar cleansing experience in his life yet. That poor man has been damaged by his awful family circumstances, but also by his own poor choices. Your lover's life is fraught with drama. From the time his mother was murdered by his father in that drunken state (I see the whole thing), he has sought drama every day, and made it his God.
The poor man has never known a moment of peace or bliss. Violence stalks him daily. He doesn't know how to be any other way but the way he is. He loves you deeply, but he needs help in the form of lots of therapy. He blames himself for his mother's death, and that is something he's going to have to get over alone.
Someone did hear your prayer, and you've been given this child to love and care for. The child will bring great luck and happiness to your life whether your lover is around or not. I see a new man in your life who is going to change the way you think about relationships forever. That man will come to you right after the baby is born.
You're in Hawaii. Make an offering of orchids to Pele and ask Her to bring peace to you and your lover. She knows about violence and how to heal it. She'll help you, help him, and help the new life you're about to be given.
I'm praying for your peace of mind and your total happiness!