Double Vision: Spiritual Way to Handle Mother in Law?


I met my future husband in my dream about two weeks before I actually came face-to-face with him in reality. It's now 14 years and five kids later, and our married life has mostly been rocky due to constant interference by a third person: his mother. Her behavior has caused great stress and hardship for us. She has falsely accused me, my family, my friends and even my employer of all kinds of things. I have also been told that she is into black magic spells or something. Even knowing these things, I have never questioned her or raised my voice against her because I still respect her as my hubby's mother. A few psychics have told me that "someone" is jealous of me. I never ask who and don't want to know either. My husband and I have attended counseling to keep our marriage alive. We realized that we can NOT change her attitude, so we both need to be POSITIVE in our thinking and refuse to allow her tantrums to affect us. We are still drained by her negative influence, however. I wonder how many more years I can do this. Is there a spiritual way to handle this difficult relationship in order to keep my marriage intact?



Angie, I am glad you asked this question. I think every reader can relate to family relation problems of SOME kind, if not specifically in-law issues. When I went in search of my birth family, my best friend said something to the effect of, "Watch out. It is not going to all be wonderful. No one will hurt you like family will hurt you." She was correct as usual.

I think that there is only one way to handle this woman: you and your husband need to form a united front. As SOON as she starts her nonsense, you need to say, "I will no longer tolerate this behavior in my life. If you can be nice, then I will be more than happy to visit again. For right now, however, I am going to end this conversation." (Please use the words that you are comfortable saying. Those words are just a guideline.) Then you need to either hang up the phone or ask her to leave or you walk out the door yourself.

If your husband can't stand up to her, at least YOU can. It would be much more powerful if you could stand together, though. You can hang up or walk out. That is not being disrespectful. You are just standing up for yourself. You should not listen to ANYONE rant at you unless you want to. People will treat you the way you allow them to you treat you. It is HIGH time that she learns some manners.

There is no law, rule or edict stating that we must respect and tolerate those who are disrespectful and intolerant of us. You say you respect her because she is your husband's mother. Okay, great. It has been years, and it has only gotten worse. She is disrespecting you more than ever. Her issues have NOTHING to do with you, and you can in no way solve them for her. You are not the only people she is mean to. I know that does not help, but you are not being singled out.

By standing firm against her tirades, you and your husband are demanding better behavior from her. She will learn to behave herself, or she will not be allowed to communicate with you two anymore. Also, by eliminating the negativity, you will start to air your life out, so to speak. You will start to see the drastic difference in your outlook and basic attitude in general. Your husband will also start to feel better and your marriage will be about you two instead of the three of you.

You can get balance, Angie. I know it is scary to think about rocking THIS boat. She is quite the formidable foe. You can do it, and you will see positive results. Be strong and stand up for yourself!

I wish you massive amounts of strength.



I have to believe that most of the time, the good has FAR outweighed the bad in your marriage. Aquarius and Virgo are one of the "BETTER" astrological combinations! You two enjoy a deeper level of understanding than most couples share.

Going through all you have may have taken a toll on both of you, but it has taught you to let a LOT of things just roll off your back. You have BOTH perfected the art of ignoring her tantrums and "going with the flow." With the time and patience and therapy you've invested, and through the GREAT COMMUNICATION the two of you enjoy, you've overcome the unpleasantness of someone who LIVES for DRAMA. I know you see that when she tries these stunts and doesn't get the results she wants, it takes the wind RIGHT out of her! Keep doing that.

The two of you are lucky to have one another, and the mother-in-law's jealousy is finally bouncing off the "psychic shield" you two have constructed. Whether she's involved in "black magic" or ANY magic, she'll have to face the consequences of this and EVERYTHING she's ever done to hurt ANYONE! It's a shame that she feels she has to be this way, always throwing fits to get attention, making trouble and trying to interfere with your lives. It is some Karmic Experience that your husband and his mother have to work through this Incarnation, and I hope they finish with it this time.

The SPIRTUAL way to handle this is to find the place where, no matter what she does, it just doesn't matter to you at all. You're almost there. How many more years you can do this? As many more years as she's alive. The Spiritual Path teaches us that there is an answer to EVERY problem when we turn to the God Dwelling in Us. I am reminded of the Prayer of St. Francis of Assisi. Learn this by heart, and I PROMISE YOU, every time you are hurt by the actions of ANY person, repeating this to yourself will make you stronger:

"Where there is hatred, let me sow love; where there is injury, pardon; where there is doubt, faith; where there is despair, hope; where there is darkness, light; where there is sadness, joy. O, Divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled as to console; to be understood as to understand; to be loved as to love. For it is in giving that we receive; it is in pardoning that we are pardoned; it is in dying to self that we are born into eternal life."

You can make personal alterations to suit your exact situation; St. Frances and God won't mind a bit. You can't get much more spiritual in your approach than THIS!


Many times in life we hear, "You will always have what you NEED, but not necessarily what you WANT." Your spirit must have needed to experience the feeling of leaving your human body, and the suggestion in the next chapter of Sylvia Brown's book was all it took to get you there.

Even though you hadn't read it yet, your SOUL recognized the title of that chapter as something it had been seeking, and your soul, knowing that you had that reference to read after your experience, got with it and out you went!

While I don't usually recommend her books, Sylvia Brown has a wide reaching and powerful effect on lots of people. A Gemini like you would be able to relate easily to her writing and put it to good use. Synchronicity - you gotta love it!

I like your description of "getting caught." That's exactly what it feels like, isn't it? One minute you're free and hovering above the room, and the next minute, ZAP! back down into your corporeal form you go!

As a little kid, I loved that "feeling of return." With practice, most of the time we can control that event, but sometimes, when our physical ears hear a distracting noise or something else occurs to knock us back into reality, back we go. With practice you will be able to control your return better.

I find it interesting that you were visiting your mother-in-law and not someone in your own genetic family. Evidently, you and your husband got married for reasons that are even deeper than love. His family's interest in "psychic stuff" will nurture your children in such matters and help them to grow into their own abilities.

You'll never have to be concerned that when your daughter visits them, she'll be discouraged from exploring her own psychic life and power. My parents encouraged me to develop my psychic senses in a time when it wasn't nice to even discuss such things in public. Heck, it's STILL not considered a great topic at the dinner table in some families!

Your kids will get to talk about it ALL and ask questions and read and study. This is going to give them such an edge in life! Talk with your husband about how you want to present this to your kiddos, so that you are united in your approach and ready to tell them their experiences are all natural and okay.

A word or two of warning: Geminis often have difficulty staying grounded in REAL LIFE. Don't get so strung out on your ASTRAL life that you neglect what you're doing here on Earth.

You are at the beginning of a long journey to learn where your power really lies. Try to be patient with this process and take your time.