My mother passed away a little over a year ago. I don't feel I've really dealt with her death because I don't know how. A few months after she died, I had two dreams in which she visited me and we just talked about normal things like my new boyfriend, whom she said she helped bring into my life. In the last dream, she told me that she had to go. I was never scared during or after these dreams. On the anniversary of the day I learned of her death, I had a very frightening experience. I was sleeping and then had a sinking, trance-like feeling with a sharp humming noise in my ear. Then I heard her say hello and my name, and I awoke with a jerk. (This happened at my boyfriend's.) I didn't sleep very much for three days after that because I was scared to death. At first I wasn't sure it was my mother because my mother has always known how things like ghosts and spirits scare me. Since then, I have had these trance-like feelings while falling asleep but have woken myself up. Today it happened every time I tried to fall asleep, even after prayer. I haven't heard voices since, or had dreams of talking with my mother, but I usually try to stop them. Is my mother trying to contact me even though she knows how it scares me? Also, the sleep disturbances mainly happen at my boyfriend's, which is where I stay most of the time. It is becoming a huge problem in my life. I feel like I'm either going insane or have reason to live in fear. Why would she come to me in dreams before and disturb my sleep now? Is this even her? What can I do to stop this, since I don't think I can ever learn to like it? Please help - I don't want to be afraid of my mother or of going to sleep at night.
Molly
Astrea:
I lost both of my parents a little over a year ago, so I know how awful this is. In fact, I am rather annoyed at mine for not being around more than they are.
I think if you were encountering your mom, you would be so glad to see her that you wouldn't be fearful at all. The entity that is visiting you isn't your mother; it's an energetic entity that forms over you when you try to sleep at your boyfriend's house. It's got icky energy because it's trying to deprive you of sleep in order to split the two of you up.
I want to reassure you that you WILL see your mother again, and you won't be afraid when you do. She'll come to you in a form you will happily accept when you are ready to see her. She will know when that time comes, just as she knows that now is NOT the time.
Also, you'll know the difference between her and what you've been encountering when you actually are in touch with her again. It will feel very different from these disturbing visits.
The two dreams you describe having of your mom were just dreams. I had a long conversation with my mother about Maury Povich in a dream the other night, and I'm sure my mom didn't know who he is!
We can dream good and not-so-good things due to the anxiety of losing our parents. There is nothing for you to fear, however. If you have any guilt about your relationship to her, healing and releasing it should also take away your fear.
The entity you're experiencing at your boyfriend's is bad. It's quiet when you're not there because it gets its energy to manifest from the tremendous energy between the two of you as well as your reactions to it. Whatever it is that reaches into your Harmony lives there with him but doesn't appear to him because you're easier to affect; you're more sensitive and therefore more aware of its presence.
It scares you because it doesn't want anyone to be happy. You can try burning sage and other banishing herbs in the house, but if you could just stay away from there it would be better. If you can, get your boyfriend to move. Can't he sleep at your house? It's a heck of a lot easier to remove yourself from this entity than to remove it from the two of you.
I can't tell for sure whether this Spirit was ever in a human incarnation, but I doubt it; it exists by gathering unhappiness. It's an aberration of Love Energy, so I suppose you could call it Hate Energy. Every couple it destroys makes it stronger and more evil. Don't be its victims; stay away from it!
*****
Susyn:
The feeling that you don't know how to deal with your motherís death is common. Most of us can't describe or explain how profound losses like this affect us, and we all handle those sorts of experiences differently. There are aspects of losing our mothers that will never be resolved - we just do the best we can. I offer you my condolences; I recently lost my own mother and know what you are going through.
You are blessed to have had her visit in your dreams and verify that she not only knows your boyfriend, she was instrumental in bringing the two of you together.
I do not sense that the negative experience you had on the anniversary of your motherís passing involved your mother at all. It may have been a spirit disguised as your mother. I'm certain that your mother would never try to scare or frighten you in such a way.
You mention that these scary experiences happen only at your boyfriendís house. This gives us another clue that these are not visits from your mother at all. Most likely, your boyfriend has a discarnate spirit living in his house - one that is trying to play tricks on you.
To verify this, start a journal in which you record all the events you have experienced so far and any you have in the future. Then ask yourself questions to see if you can find patterns. Does this only happen during full moons? On Tuesdays? When you're anxious or upset?
Once you have a better sense of what's happening, youíll be armed to put a stop to these events. Play detective to see what you can figure out. When you are at your boyfriend's, change some things around to see if that stops these frightening events. Change sides on the bed or see if he will move the bed to face a different direction.
I also advise wearing a protective stone when you sleep over at his house, such as turquoise, malachite or amber. Another powerful way to stop this entity in his tracks is to ground it with salt. You can keep a packet of salt under your pillow or place a bowl of salt on the nightstand. This is very effective for keeping unwanted night visitors away.
If these methods aren't effective, you and your boyfriend may need to smudge his house to eliminate the negative entities that seem to be hanging out there.
In the meantime, you can connect with your mother through guided meditation. You do not need to be asleep to interact with her. Choose a special time and place each day when the two of you can be together. (Ideally, this will be at your own house!)
Astrea:
Many times in life we hear, "You will always have what you NEED, but not necessarily what you WANT." Your spirit must have needed to experience the feeling of leaving your human body, and the suggestion in the next chapter of Sylvia Brown's book was all it took to get you there.
Even though you hadn't read it yet, your SOUL recognized the title of that chapter as something it had been seeking, and your soul, knowing that you had that reference to read after your experience, got with it and out you went!
While I don't usually recommend her books, Sylvia Brown has a wide reaching and powerful effect on lots of people. A Gemini like you would be able to relate easily to her writing and put it to good use. Synchronicity - you gotta love it!
I like your description of "getting caught." That's exactly what it feels like, isn't it? One minute you're free and hovering above the room, and the next minute, ZAP! back down into your corporeal form you go!
As a little kid, I loved that "feeling of return." With practice, most of the time we can control that event, but sometimes, when our physical ears hear a distracting noise or something else occurs to knock us back into reality, back we go. With practice you will be able to control your return better.
I find it interesting that you were visiting your mother-in-law and not someone in your own genetic family. Evidently, you and your husband got married for reasons that are even deeper than love. His family's interest in "psychic stuff" will nurture your children in such matters and help them to grow into their own abilities.
You'll never have to be concerned that when your daughter visits them, she'll be discouraged from exploring her own psychic life and power. My parents encouraged me to develop my psychic senses in a time when it wasn't nice to even discuss such things in public. Heck, it's STILL not considered a great topic at the dinner table in some families!
Your kids will get to talk about it ALL and ask questions and read and study. This is going to give them such an edge in life! Talk with your husband about how you want to present this to your kiddos, so that you are united in your approach and ready to tell them their experiences are all natural and okay.
A word or two of warning: Geminis often have difficulty staying grounded in REAL LIFE. Don't get so strung out on your ASTRAL life that you neglect what you're doing here on Earth.
You are at the beginning of a long journey to learn where your power really lies. Try to be patient with this process and take your time.