Is former father-in-law in spirit blocking her from new love?
I was married to my first husband for about ten years. Back when we first met and were just dating, his father suddenly died from a heart attack. After that I always felt him near, like he was watching over the family. About six years ago we got divorced, and it has been a very nasty relationship full of conflict ever since. My ex-husband has basically abandoned us and the children, refuses to pay child support, yet now and then pops up full of demands about when he wants the kids. For example, he may not see them for months, but then insist on having them Christmas morning. He has gone on with his life; he is engaged and his fiance is pregnant. Here’s my question: I feel like my father-in-law is blocking me from new love. I haven’t had one serious relationship since the divorce. I feel as if he is blocking me from happiness from spirit out of loyalty to his son. Is this possible? Whenever I ask myself why I can’t find new love, this idea pops into my head. What do you think? If it’s true, what can I do?
– Diane
Dreamchaser:
Diane, I am going to speak very freely and bluntly here. I hope I do not hurt your feelings; that is certainly not my intention.
Your ex-father-in-law is not interfering in your love life in any way. He is not blocking anything or causing anything. He never has, and he never would. He is in spirit having a fabulous time, and he is not at all trying to manipulate any human situations. Yes, he does watch over his family, but that is it. He watches; he does not participate.
I think you are looking for a scapegoat. I think you are looking for a reason to stay single and alone. The reason you have not had a serious relationship since your divorce is that you are not allowing it. If your ex-husband is such a bad man, why are you still hung up on him? Why do you compare every man you meet to your ex-husband, find him lacking, and throw him back? Why do you refuse to allow any new love, good or bad, to come into your life?
When we are blocking something from our lives — love, abundance of any kind, a new job — we look hard for something to blame it on. For a long time I used my kids as an excuse for staying single: “I am just too busy with my children.” When they grew up, I had to take a good look at why I was not allowing love in my life. It was scary and painful and horrible at times. I need you to stop and ask yourself the same question: “What are you afraid of?”
You do not want your ex back, but you are still hung up on dreams of what could have been, when, in reality, what you had was not that great. The dreams you had and the future plans you two had were pretty good. That was not, however, your reality — they were just dreams. They were not real at any point. You can have those dreams come true with someone else but, yes, you have to open yourself up to potential hurt one good reason that you stay closed up. You never want to hurt that badly again — understandable, but you never will hurt that badly again, Diane. If you tune into your inner spirit, you will know that is true.
Your ex is not coming back. If you want romantic love in your life, you have to get it from someone new. To do that, you have to overcome your fears by asking yourself some tough and probing questions. You can do this if you want to, Diane. You are the only person blocking new love from coming in. Men fall at your feet practically every day, but instead of looking for the good, you always find something wrong with them.
I wish you openness.
*****
Astrea:
Sometimes when we envision people who have crossed over, we project our own thoughts and desires onto them. Because you haven’t had time with children, work, and all the pressure to get over your divorce, your subconscious is playing a trick on you, making you believe that you can’t find anyone else because your husband’s deceased father wants the two of you back together.
This is not what he wants at all! Those who have crossed over immediately lose any misplaced sense of loyalty. People beyond the veil see things much more clearly than we do, because personalities that produce the feelings we have on earth.
You haven’t been able to move on with your own life and find someone else because you haven’t let go of your ex. There is still so much conflict between you that it’s almost impossible to ignore that and not see him in every person you meet. While you’ve been divorced for a number of years now, you still need to take some time to really think about what you want from someone new so that you can manifest him. At this point, you’re still comparing every man you meet to your ex, and that’s not fair to you or to them.
Don’t give up! I know you will find someone who will make you happy. Your father-in-law is not the only person willing to help you move on and find new love. There are several spirits from your own family around, just waiting until you are ready to meet the right man. As I write this, I see at least four angelic spirits on the move in your direction to help you find someone wonderful to love.
Your marriage was a learning experience. You’ve learned what kind of person you don’t want to have in your and your children’s lives. As miserable as it was, and even though nostalgia overtakes you from time to time, you don’t want that again. Your ex and his fiance will last about another year, anyway. Then he will have abandoned two families. You gave him your heart and soul; he doesn’t deserve to be in your life.
Your father-in-law is positively not blocking you from finding a new relationship. I spoke with him at length, and he assures me that you put up with a horrible situation with his son for a long time. Quite the opposite of what you’re feeling, he wants you to find new love and happiness. He is so ashamed of his son and the way he has treated you and the children. That’s the reason he pops into your head, of course. He’s been trying to help you look for someone you can build a happy life with. You’ll find him!