Double Vision: She Keeps Dreaming of Lover from 25 Years Ago

I've been dreaming of a boyfriend from 25 years ago. The relationship was intense over a five-year period. It feels like he keeps coming to me in dreams even though I try to put it out there that I don't want to see him in my dreams. I try to get him to tell me what he wants in the dreams as well. The dreams are vivid and I often wake up with a start; as soon as I fall back asleep, the dream continues. I have a strong feeling that there is something going on, for these are unlike most of my dreams. Is this sort of thing possible? Could he be trying to communicate through the dream? Are our subconsious minds trying to communicate? I just don't think I would have any huge unresolved feelings after 25 years, for it wasn't a bad break-up and was a good time while it lasted. Thank you for any light you can shed on this.



It would be nice if we had more control over our dreams and could choose who and what we will dream about. Unfortunately, in the dream state, our subconscious minds determine the images and messages we receive. The dreams you describe appear to be very vivid and profound, which suggests that they are trying to tell you something.

When we experience recurring dreams, our subconscious is trying to send us an important message. At times it might feel like perhaps your ex-boyfriend is trying to communicate with you spiritually, but until he actually reaches out and contacts you, it is best to treat these dreams as symbolic of unfinished business.

These dreams are taking you back to the past, when you were a different person. Perhaps you were more light-hearted, spontaneous and trusting then. It may be that your subconscious is asking you to reconnect with the young girl you once were, to embrace aspects of yourself that have been lost over the last 25 years. Spend some time meditating on who you were during that time period, and then consider integrating some of those aspects of yourself into your current life.

It is also possible that you continue to carry feelings about this man and the relationship you once had. Because it was so full of promise, there might be a part of you that continues to hold on and wonder if things might have somehow worked out. What if things had turned out differently? Sometimes such questions can be triggered by general unhappiness.

If your current relationship is unsatisfying, you may tend to hold it up and compare it to the one in your dreams. It is time to look a bit closer at this, for when we are not happy in our current circumstances, we often try to escape via our dreams. Ask yourself how you feel about this idea and if there are any problems you are experiencing with your current partner that need to be addressed.

If in fact you are without a partner at this time, it's natural for your mind and heart to return to the most powerful relationship in your past as you long to experience that connection again. We all do this; when we find ourselves in a holding pattern or lacking in companionship, our thoughts fill with wistful longings for the past.

I don't feel that you need to reach out to your boyfriend from the past unless you have maintained a friendship over the years. These dreams are asking you to look at yourself, at your current situation and what changes you can make to restore your sense of fulfillment. Once you address these matters, the dreams should subside or disappear altogether.



What stands out for me is where you describe this relationship as intense over a five-year period. When it comes to relationships, intense usually means sexually charged with ups and downs, breakups and makeups. Sometimes intense involves an element of secrecy.

Intense relationships are transitory because they're rarely about the two people involved, and are instead a mutual reenactment of childhood wounding. Each party almost always represents for the other a parental figure who did not meet their emotional needs. Therefore, the participants find themselves in a love/hate dynamic, alternating between feelings of desperate and needy desire and rejecting rage. Such relationships often include deprivation, abuse and suffering.

When you say it was good while it lasted and that it wasn't a bad breakup, I think there may be some denial or whitewashing going on. When we sum up a relationship in a tidy, casual way, it often means we don't want to closely examine or revisit the emotional pain involved.

Intense relationships usually do NOT end well and are usually NOT a good time while they last, except for some memorable highlights. We enter such relationships when we're trying to avoid something challenging in our life because these trauma-drama relationships can be very distracting and time-consuming! We endlessly discuss, analyze and try to understand the other person, just as you're doing now with your dreams about this man.

Twenty-five years ago suggests young adulthood, which is often a rocky transition period when we leave our families of origin and forge our own identities, values and goals. I believe you have resurrected this old relationship because it served you so well as a diversion in the past, and that once again, there is something significant going on in your life that requires your attention.

Are you in a situation today that no longer serves you, like a job, marriage or routine? Mid-life is a wake-up call that brings keener awareness of mortality as we watch parents age and decline. Mid-life is a natural time to assess the current state of our lives and let go of what no longer fits. It is often a time of grieving as we realize that goals we set for ourselves long ago may not have come to fruition.

In your dreams, you try to coax your ex into telling you what he wants. Try redirecting the question: What do YOU want? As you discover what ails you in your waking life and tackle it head-on, these intense dreams will fade away.


Many times in life we hear, "You will always have what you NEED, but not necessarily what you WANT." Your spirit must have needed to experience the feeling of leaving your human body, and the suggestion in the next chapter of Sylvia Brown's book was all it took to get you there.

Even though you hadn't read it yet, your SOUL recognized the title of that chapter as something it had been seeking, and your soul, knowing that you had that reference to read after your experience, got with it and out you went!

While I don't usually recommend her books, Sylvia Brown has a wide reaching and powerful effect on lots of people. A Gemini like you would be able to relate easily to her writing and put it to good use. Synchronicity - you gotta love it!

I like your description of "getting caught." That's exactly what it feels like, isn't it? One minute you're free and hovering above the room, and the next minute, ZAP! back down into your corporeal form you go!

As a little kid, I loved that "feeling of return." With practice, most of the time we can control that event, but sometimes, when our physical ears hear a distracting noise or something else occurs to knock us back into reality, back we go. With practice you will be able to control your return better.

I find it interesting that you were visiting your mother-in-law and not someone in your own genetic family. Evidently, you and your husband got married for reasons that are even deeper than love. His family's interest in "psychic stuff" will nurture your children in such matters and help them to grow into their own abilities.

You'll never have to be concerned that when your daughter visits them, she'll be discouraged from exploring her own psychic life and power. My parents encouraged me to develop my psychic senses in a time when it wasn't nice to even discuss such things in public. Heck, it's STILL not considered a great topic at the dinner table in some families!

Your kids will get to talk about it ALL and ask questions and read and study. This is going to give them such an edge in life! Talk with your husband about how you want to present this to your kiddos, so that you are united in your approach and ready to tell them their experiences are all natural and okay.

A word or two of warning: Geminis often have difficulty staying grounded in REAL LIFE. Don't get so strung out on your ASTRAL life that you neglect what you're doing here on Earth.

You are at the beginning of a long journey to learn where your power really lies. Try to be patient with this process and take your time.