I have a six-week old baby boy. His father deeply wanted me to have this baby, but when I actually got pregnant he got scared, and now he's not in the picture at all. Since the baby was born, I keep having dreams that he or someone in his family comes to me and is angry with me for some reason - why, I don't know. They are trying to get my baby one way or another, and when I get mad, they leave. I don't know what to make of this recurring dream, since I got on very well with them. Also, I don't think he told them that I was pregnant, or if he did, I think he told them that the baby is not his. What do you think these dreams mean?
- Dorene
Dreamchaser:
These dreams are nothing more than you working out your fears and anger at your son's father and his family. While you're awake, your logical mind tells you that the father could not have told his family about the baby, or that the father said your son is not his.
That's the only explanation your logical mind can accept for the way things are, because you can't understand how his family hasn't stepped up and helped in any way. When he was asking you to get pregnant and telling you how badly he wanted this baby, the vision you had in your mind was very different from your reality now.
You are alone with a small baby and have no one to really help you. When you imagined having this baby before you got pregnant, you believed you'd have a loving, supportive father for the child, and a family that helped you with your every need and was THRILLED to have a baby around again. Can you see how your dreams and your reality are banging into each other inside of your head?
Your subconscious takes over while you're sleeping, and it's trying very hard to help you sort through your feelings of anger, abandonment, and fear. While you are awake, you refuse to look at how you REALLY feel about this. You refuse to accept that your reality is the way it is.
From one single mother to another, please face the reality of your situation and make plans based on that reality. You are the one who is there. You are the one who is going to be providing for your baby. You need to realize that you are the only person he can count on right now. It's difficult and scary, but you have to step up to the plate because you have no other choice.
No one is going to take your baby from you. He is your son and he is going to stay your son. The father and his family obviously don't want him, so you don't really have to worry about that.
What you are grieving over in these dreams is the loss of this relationship. As you said, in these dreams when you get mad, they leave. You believe that when you start to show your anger, people will leave you, so instead of expressing your real feelings, you've repressed them.
You haven't consciously faced some of the darker emotions you have stored up inside. You shove them down during the day, and you not only hide them from others, you try not to feel them yourself. You keep thinking that maybe it will get better, that things will change.
It's time to accept the way things are. Begin by feeling your true emotions: Cry, scream, get mad - whatever allows all that repressed energy to flow through you and OUT.
Then it will be gone, and you will stop having these dreams. It's time to grieve the loss of your son's father and his family so you can truly move on.
I wish you and your son a very happy, healthy and wonder-full life!
*****
Astrea:
While there are many reasons for recurring dreams, in your particular case, I think you have some anxiety that your son's father or his family will come and try to take your baby away from you.
This could also be a warning from your Guides that you need to take the necessary legal steps to make sure that doesn't happen. Though grandparents have very few rights to their grandchildren, with a good lawyer, they can make tons of trouble for you and the baby.
Please note that this is not what I am seeing for you! It's just a good idea to make sure you have covered all your legal bases just in case something unpleasant happens, or someone gets a crazy idea that may involve something or someone who belongs with you.
It could also be that the baby's father's lack of involvement bothers you so much that your subconscious is taking over. When you're dreaming, he and his family are trying hard to get involved with the baby, though it's in a very negative way. In the dream you get mad at them and they leave you alone, but this is actually the opposite of what you'd like to see happen in your waking life, where you'd like them to show more interest and support.
Is there any way you could speak to them and ask them to be more attentive to you and the baby? That would certainly be better for all of you. I feel they are nice, accepting people, and would probably want to be present in the life of their new grandson if they knew about him. Perhaps a paternity test would set their minds at ease and convince them that the baby really is their son's.
Your boyfriend might not have told them about the baby at all, and in that case, these dreams may be a signal that YOU should! In dreams we tend to do exactly as we want or exactly the opposite of what we want. Our minds sometimes present the worst thing that could happen in our dreams, and most psychologists feel that's so we aren't surprised and frightened if the very worst happens.
Dreaming about the worst can help us get over our fears. That could be why you're having all these problems with these people in your dreams. Your mind is trying to sort things out for you before anything happens that you actually have to figure out in your waking life. It's like practice for handling the worst case scenario.
If you want to get rid of those dreams, one of the easiest remedies is to put your shoes facing opposite directions under the head of your bed. Another is to hang a green ribbon from one of your bed posts. Bad dreams are easily chased away by putting a whole clove of garlic wrapped in red string over the door to your bedroom so that the dreams don't enter the room.
I hope your son's father comes to his senses and gets over his fear of fatherhood soon, because he's missing out on a LOT with you and your wonderful baby!
Astrea:
Many times in life we hear, "You will always have what you NEED, but not necessarily what you WANT." Your spirit must have needed to experience the feeling of leaving your human body, and the suggestion in the next chapter of Sylvia Brown's book was all it took to get you there.
Even though you hadn't read it yet, your SOUL recognized the title of that chapter as something it had been seeking, and your soul, knowing that you had that reference to read after your experience, got with it and out you went!
While I don't usually recommend her books, Sylvia Brown has a wide reaching and powerful effect on lots of people. A Gemini like you would be able to relate easily to her writing and put it to good use. Synchronicity - you gotta love it!
I like your description of "getting caught." That's exactly what it feels like, isn't it? One minute you're free and hovering above the room, and the next minute, ZAP! back down into your corporeal form you go!
As a little kid, I loved that "feeling of return." With practice, most of the time we can control that event, but sometimes, when our physical ears hear a distracting noise or something else occurs to knock us back into reality, back we go. With practice you will be able to control your return better.
I find it interesting that you were visiting your mother-in-law and not someone in your own genetic family. Evidently, you and your husband got married for reasons that are even deeper than love. His family's interest in "psychic stuff" will nurture your children in such matters and help them to grow into their own abilities.
You'll never have to be concerned that when your daughter visits them, she'll be discouraged from exploring her own psychic life and power. My parents encouraged me to develop my psychic senses in a time when it wasn't nice to even discuss such things in public. Heck, it's STILL not considered a great topic at the dinner table in some families!
Your kids will get to talk about it ALL and ask questions and read and study. This is going to give them such an edge in life! Talk with your husband about how you want to present this to your kiddos, so that you are united in your approach and ready to tell them their experiences are all natural and okay.
A word or two of warning: Geminis often have difficulty staying grounded in REAL LIFE. Don't get so strung out on your ASTRAL life that you neglect what you're doing here on Earth.
You are at the beginning of a long journey to learn where your power really lies. Try to be patient with this process and take your time.