I lost my mom almost two years ago. I dream of her often, but they are never happy dreams; instead, they are dreams of her being sick or of us losing her all over again. Can you tell me why I never have happy dreams about her?
Two years isn't very long to be without your mother; those wounds take quite a while to heal. Even though you still feel her eternal love for you, she isn't there in the flesh to hug you or cheer you up when you feel sad.
Aries women in your mother's generation often have strange illnesses that, while not terminal, can last for many years. The constant trips to doctors to discover what's wrong, the endless trial and error with prescription drugs, the search for cures ñ all of these can take a toll on the whole family.
ALL cardinal signs despise being ill, which can put extra pressure on the family too. When someone is sick, sometimes they forget to be pleasant, which can lead to arguments. This all adds up to a lot of fatigue for both the ill person and the family, which can produce feelings of guilt.
On the other side of this picture is the Aries who dies from something sudden like a heart attack or stroke. Unexpected death can also lead to feelings of guilt and worry.
To figure out what your dreams about your mom mean, examine what happened prior to her death. Were you getting along well? Were you arguing? Were you not spending as much time with her as you feel you should have? Do you have regrets that plague you about your relationship with her?
This is where you're going to find explanations for the unhappy dreams you're having about her. Get a notebook to keep by your bed, and every time you have one of these dreams, write it down as soon as you wake up so you don't forget it.
Pay attention to the details. Are there doctors in your dreams? Did the doctors in real life let her down? Is there some resentment towards family members who show up from time to time in these dreams? If you document what you're dreaming, the answers you're seeking will become clear to you.
Since your mother has been gone almost two years now, as soon as you find the reasons for your guilt, worry and/or resentment, these dreams will disappear and be replaced by wonderful dreams of your mother where she really is: in a happy place beyond the Veil.
You can then begin to talk with one another again. When those good dreams start to happen, keep a record of them too. Our loved ones who have crossed over watch out for us and want to help us, and in dreams, they can often do just that.
Pleasant dreams of our departed loved ones occur when they visit us to let us know they're healthy and happy in the Spirit World. When we have unpleasant dreams about them, it doesn't mean they're unhappy, for WE are the ones who feel sad. If you figure out why you're troubled, you can start enjoying one another again.
Dreams can be very powerful, as they may affect our moods, thoughts and even our life choices. When we lose a loved one, our greatest wish is to know that they are safe and happy, so positive dreams about loved ones who have passed can be quite affirming.
In contrast, the dreams you are having seem to be stuck on replay, indicating that there are fears or issues still surrounding your mother's death that need to be cleared.
The most effective way to clear these unhappy dreams is to bring them up from your subconscious to the surface of your awareness. To do this, you should write down the events of your mother's illness and passing.
As you write, you may experience another wave of grief, but in the process, you will accomplish two things: First, you'll face the loss of your mother for a final time, and second, you will remember certain aspects of her passing that you may have forgotten.
After you have completed this detailed account, I recommend burning it to release the power and pain once and for all. Then sit down and write a letter to your mother, sharing all the things you would like to say to her, such as how much you miss her and love her. Finally, invite her to visit you in your dreams to let you know how she is doing.
Once you clear away the final pain of her passing, your mother will be able to come to you in all sorts of wonderful ways. You might consider scheduling a channeling session with a trusted medium to talk with her directly.
You could try meditating with an object of your mother's such as a handkerchief, a piece of jewelry or a photograph to draw her near for a chat. Because you know her personality so well, it won't be hard to determine her presence by the thoughts and messages that come to you during these times.
Having recently lost my own mother, I can assure you that our moms love to talk with us whenever they are able. Just a few days ago, I had a dream that my mom called me on my cell phone, and we had a wonderful chat.
I recognized that it was her not only because I could identify her voice, but because she was giving me a recipe over the phone, which was very typical of our conversations when she was alive. When I awoke, it felt as if I still had a cell phone to my ear and I could hear the static, when in reality, the phone was nowhere near me.
Also, watch for smells, objects or animals to appear out of the blue that were your mother's favorites. There are many ways your mother can let you know she is near. Soon you will start to have more positive dreams, memories and experiences with her, and these events will bring you immeasurable peace.
Many times in life we hear, "You will always have what you NEED, but not necessarily what you WANT." Your spirit must have needed to experience the feeling of leaving your human body, and the suggestion in the next chapter of Sylvia Brown's book was all it took to get you there.
Even though you hadn't read it yet, your SOUL recognized the title of that chapter as something it had been seeking, and your soul, knowing that you had that reference to read after your experience, got with it and out you went!
While I don't usually recommend her books, Sylvia Brown has a wide reaching and powerful effect on lots of people. A Gemini like you would be able to relate easily to her writing and put it to good use. Synchronicity - you gotta love it!
I like your description of "getting caught." That's exactly what it feels like, isn't it? One minute you're free and hovering above the room, and the next minute, ZAP! back down into your corporeal form you go!
As a little kid, I loved that "feeling of return." With practice, most of the time we can control that event, but sometimes, when our physical ears hear a distracting noise or something else occurs to knock us back into reality, back we go. With practice you will be able to control your return better.
I find it interesting that you were visiting your mother-in-law and not someone in your own genetic family. Evidently, you and your husband got married for reasons that are even deeper than love. His family's interest in "psychic stuff" will nurture your children in such matters and help them to grow into their own abilities.
You'll never have to be concerned that when your daughter visits them, she'll be discouraged from exploring her own psychic life and power. My parents encouraged me to develop my psychic senses in a time when it wasn't nice to even discuss such things in public. Heck, it's STILL not considered a great topic at the dinner table in some families!
Your kids will get to talk about it ALL and ask questions and read and study. This is going to give them such an edge in life! Talk with your husband about how you want to present this to your kiddos, so that you are united in your approach and ready to tell them their experiences are all natural and okay.
A word or two of warning: Geminis often have difficulty staying grounded in REAL LIFE. Don't get so strung out on your ASTRAL life that you neglect what you're doing here on Earth.
You are at the beginning of a long journey to learn where your power really lies. Try to be patient with this process and take your time.