I recently broke up with my boyfriend of nearly eight years because I feel that our relationship is at a standstill and he's afraid of commitment. He says he loves me but he can't commit to marriage because he doubts my priorities. He has a lot of issues in his own family and career to resolve too, but I feel it's unfair to keep me waiting forever. I knew this person was my soul mate from the start. We were friends for seven years before we started dating, so I've known him 15 years now. We still love each other but I couldn't accept his doubts. A psychic told me we were husband and wife in our last lives, and I left him and am now karmically paying for it. She said to give him a second chance because in the end, we can resolve this issue in this lifetime. I am willing to give him a second chance, but I'm wondering how long I need to wait for him to decide it's me he wants. I feel I've waited long enough and I want to move on, but a bigger part of me wants to wait for this man. Now that I know I hurt him deeply in a past life, how can I resolve that karma and win his trust again?
Doris
Astrea:
Karma from past lives can haunt us, but once we know what we did in a past incarnation that is causing us pain, we can repudiate it and choose not to repeat it again. While I don't doubt that you were together in another life, I don't believe you're now being punished for what you did then. Instead of blaming a past life, we must look to the choices we are making today.
The decisions that produce undesirable outcomes now weren't made in past lives; they were made in our present incarnation. I was taught that some of our karmic healing takes place in the time between incarnations so that we don't arrive with exactly the same problems and issues we've faced before.
If you left him in a past life, have you learned not to hurt him or leave him in this one? You can't change your past; you can only grow from it and change your karma for the future.
Now that you've been made aware of some past life issues and problems, you can choose to make better choices. Breaking up with him seems counter-productive if you're seeking to change your karma with him. Breaking up would be repeating past life events, and no one learns anything from making the same mistake over and over.
I believe we're aware of what our choices will be before we reincarnate, and we can even choose to return with the people we love. Other things simply occur as random events in our lives.
Think about the poor little kids who get abusive parents - no one would choose that! That is not a case of karmic punishment; it's random, unfortunate circumstance. Of course, sometimes the people in our Karmic Family make very poor choices. Other times, we connect with people outside our Karmic Families, or we take on suffering to spare someone else from experiencing it.
To say that because something happened in a past life, you can't influence it now is too simplistic. Change is hard for people; it has to be considered and contemplated, then actively and determinedly pursued.
I agree that fifteen years is a long time to wait on someone to do what you want them to do. Nevertheless, you seem confused about whether or not you want to really move on. This unfinished business will indeed hold you back. Since you're aware of what went wrong before, you can now choose to keep repeating it or take action and change this pattern for good.
2407
Susyn:
Many times in our lives, we stay in situations or repeat patterns in an effort to resolve karma or change the outcome of certain choices. Between our heads and our hearts, we go back and forth, trying to determine which path is the right one for us.
It sounds like this situation has caused much turmoil and confusion for you both. As I've seen to be true for many of my clients and even myself, this will simply keep you stuck in a never-ending cycle.
The solution to this problem is twofold: First, it's time to step back from your thoughts and feelings and turn the problem over to your spiritual source. Second, you must shift your focus from what he is doing back to yourself, and identify how fear is preventing you from moving forward.
I agree that you probably were husband and wife in a past life, though your karmic lesson in this connection may simply be learning to walk away again. Though your feelings run deep, there is an even greater part of you that longs to experience the love, commitment and trust that comes from being in the right relationship.
You seem very open to giving this man a second (third or fourth?) chance, but it doesn't sound like he is ready or willing to give you what you need. Although this may be due to a lack of spiritual development on his part, you are suffering by limiting your own needs and desires.
Instead of trying to figure out if the two of you should be together or if giving him more time is the answer, you can let this connection go and trust the Universe to take things from here. If he is destined to be in your life as a committed partner, walking away from him will produce the growth necessary for him to commit to you. If he's not, it will open you up to the true and loving partner Spirit wants for you.
Though it may seem difficult to walk away from a connection you've invested so much time in (in this lifetime as well as in other lives), you are working against your own spiritual growth if you sit still any longer. Though he may be familiar and you may see his potential, you are still alone, and may be keeping the Universe from bringing you the soul mate connection your heart is crying out for.
I encourage you to take a leap of faith. Begin by walking away from this connection with trust that if he is the one, he will step up to the plate. If he is not the one, you can rest assured that the Universe will bring you the person your heart is truly longing for.
Astrea:
Many times in life we hear, "You will always have what you NEED, but not necessarily what you WANT." Your spirit must have needed to experience the feeling of leaving your human body, and the suggestion in the next chapter of Sylvia Brown's book was all it took to get you there.
Even though you hadn't read it yet, your SOUL recognized the title of that chapter as something it had been seeking, and your soul, knowing that you had that reference to read after your experience, got with it and out you went!
While I don't usually recommend her books, Sylvia Brown has a wide reaching and powerful effect on lots of people. A Gemini like you would be able to relate easily to her writing and put it to good use. Synchronicity - you gotta love it!
I like your description of "getting caught." That's exactly what it feels like, isn't it? One minute you're free and hovering above the room, and the next minute, ZAP! back down into your corporeal form you go!
As a little kid, I loved that "feeling of return." With practice, most of the time we can control that event, but sometimes, when our physical ears hear a distracting noise or something else occurs to knock us back into reality, back we go. With practice you will be able to control your return better.
I find it interesting that you were visiting your mother-in-law and not someone in your own genetic family. Evidently, you and your husband got married for reasons that are even deeper than love. His family's interest in "psychic stuff" will nurture your children in such matters and help them to grow into their own abilities.
You'll never have to be concerned that when your daughter visits them, she'll be discouraged from exploring her own psychic life and power. My parents encouraged me to develop my psychic senses in a time when it wasn't nice to even discuss such things in public. Heck, it's STILL not considered a great topic at the dinner table in some families!
Your kids will get to talk about it ALL and ask questions and read and study. This is going to give them such an edge in life! Talk with your husband about how you want to present this to your kiddos, so that you are united in your approach and ready to tell them their experiences are all natural and okay.
A word or two of warning: Geminis often have difficulty staying grounded in REAL LIFE. Don't get so strung out on your ASTRAL life that you neglect what you're doing here on Earth.
You are at the beginning of a long journey to learn where your power really lies. Try to be patient with this process and take your time.