I keep having a dream about my father's old house. I lived there for three years, starting when I was ten, and I hated it there. In my dreams, it's always winter or fall, and I'm either visiting or living there. I don't know why I keep having dreams about this house because I really hated it. My dad bought the house from his parents. I remember when they used to live there. I always went to visit them there, and when they lived there, I remember liking the house. After my dad bought it and I had to live there, that changed. I don't get along with my dad and stepmom and hated having to live with them after they bought the house. They sold it about 10 years ago, but in the past year (after getting stationed on the ship I'm on now), I've been dreaming about this house more frequently. It's starting to irritate me. Can you tell me why I keep dreaming about this house? Thank you.
Diana
Susyn:
When people frequently dream about a certain house, it's usually a sign that they are processing important information. Because this was a house that you actually lived in and had many different life experiences in, the feelings it evokes in your dreams are very telling.
You mentioned that when your grandparents lived in this house, you liked it. It was only later, when you had to live there, that you began to dislike the place. It's important that during this time, you were forced to live there with your father and a stepmother you hated. I am betting that your feelings about the house are more about the experiences you had there than the place itself.
You also mentioned that in your dreams of the house, it is always winter or fall. These seasons immediately bring to mind images of coldness and darkness. I would imagine that this reflects how you were feeling during this period of your life. You lived there from the age of ten to thirteen; these are very formative years. There was probably a lot of unhappiness during this time, and perhaps other events that you were forced to put up with or emotions you buried. It's not surprising that years later, these unprocessed feelings are starting to emerge.
Repeating dreams are a sign that we have work to do. In this particular situation, you are being alerted that it's time to look at the childhood events that went on in this house from the perspective of a mature adult. If you don't do this, the dreams will continue. Feelings of abandonment, betrayal, loss and powerlessness can all lie below the surface of such a dream. I feel that whatever was going on between you and your father during this time is still causing you trouble and pain.
It is interesting to note that you started having these dreams when you were stationed on the ship you are now on. I am wondering if you are feeling a bit adrift, as though you have no real home at present. If so, it would be natural for a home from your past to play a big role in your dreams. Since our dreams have a way of reflecting our current fears and desires, whenever we're longing for a sense of home, we may begin to have dreams about various houses we've inhabited in the past.
I am certain that once you acknowledge and work through whatever you need to heal and release from this difficult phase in your life, the dreams will change or be replaced by others. The important thing is that you do not focus on the actual house itself, but on making peace with the unhappy events that took place there.
*****
Oceania:
Being out at sea, far from family and the house of your pre-teen years, has lulled you into a state of greater calm and serenity. You are surrounded by Mother Nature, or in this case, Mother Sea. This is allowing the process of overdue healing to take place. It's not really the house you're dreaming about - the house is just a symbolic container for the emotional pain you experienced during the three years you resided there.
Like sunken treasures being hauled up from the depths, memories and old feelings are trying to surface, but your resistance to the process is impeding the flow. Please trust that this is a positive healing process. It may be temporarily uncomfortable, but it will prove freeing in the long run. Repressed feelings are a heavy burden that, much like an anchor, can keep you from moving forward.
It is painful for children to go through divorces and remarriage. There is so much grief involved: the loss of an intact family and often the loss of a familiar home, room, school, friends and neighborhood. Not only did you dislike your father and stepmother, you lost a lot by moving in with them. You used the word hate,
which we experience when we feel trapped and have no one to hear our genuine feelings.
Imagine turning over the dirt in the back yard of the house to discover what's buried under the hate. It may be hurt, anger, fear or sadness. Imagine opening the doors and the windows of the house. Imagine walking from room to room. Observe Diana at the ages of 10-13. See if you can identify what she was feeling, first from your perspective as an observer, and then from HER perspective, through her young eyes.
Old feelings can be uncomfortable and you may not want to revisit them, but they're with you every day ANYWAY, and you're expending a lot of energy trying to push them away. As you've noticed, they keep coming back like a boomerang, and will continue to do so until acknowledged. The only way to release and dissipate feelings is to embrace, feel and express them! Take some time to grieve. Close your eyes and allow old emotions to drift into your consciousness and take form in your body, then express them through spoken or written words. You can be raw and ugly - this exercise is for you alone.
Autumn is about letting go. Your childhood feelings are like dead leaves clinging to a tree branch. Let them go so you can enter the dormancy and renewal winter, finish grieving your childhood losses, and start growing some new dreams in the spring.
Astrea:
Many times in life we hear, "You will always have what you NEED, but not necessarily what you WANT." Your spirit must have needed to experience the feeling of leaving your human body, and the suggestion in the next chapter of Sylvia Brown's book was all it took to get you there.
Even though you hadn't read it yet, your SOUL recognized the title of that chapter as something it had been seeking, and your soul, knowing that you had that reference to read after your experience, got with it and out you went!
While I don't usually recommend her books, Sylvia Brown has a wide reaching and powerful effect on lots of people. A Gemini like you would be able to relate easily to her writing and put it to good use. Synchronicity - you gotta love it!
I like your description of "getting caught." That's exactly what it feels like, isn't it? One minute you're free and hovering above the room, and the next minute, ZAP! back down into your corporeal form you go!
As a little kid, I loved that "feeling of return." With practice, most of the time we can control that event, but sometimes, when our physical ears hear a distracting noise or something else occurs to knock us back into reality, back we go. With practice you will be able to control your return better.
I find it interesting that you were visiting your mother-in-law and not someone in your own genetic family. Evidently, you and your husband got married for reasons that are even deeper than love. His family's interest in "psychic stuff" will nurture your children in such matters and help them to grow into their own abilities.
You'll never have to be concerned that when your daughter visits them, she'll be discouraged from exploring her own psychic life and power. My parents encouraged me to develop my psychic senses in a time when it wasn't nice to even discuss such things in public. Heck, it's STILL not considered a great topic at the dinner table in some families!
Your kids will get to talk about it ALL and ask questions and read and study. This is going to give them such an edge in life! Talk with your husband about how you want to present this to your kiddos, so that you are united in your approach and ready to tell them their experiences are all natural and okay.
A word or two of warning: Geminis often have difficulty staying grounded in REAL LIFE. Don't get so strung out on your ASTRAL life that you neglect what you're doing here on Earth.
You are at the beginning of a long journey to learn where your power really lies. Try to be patient with this process and take your time.