In a continuing quest to understand energy and how psychics read it around you, I am wondering how much a person contributes to keeping a past love around them in terms of energy. I am often told that I still have a very strong connection to my last lover, and that relationship ended three years ago! I am still having a hard time getting over it, however, and am wondering if in continually thinking about him, I’m keeping him in my energy. Or am I thinking about him because he is keeping me in his energy? Would my trying to forget about him move him out of my energy field, or is he around me because he hasn’t gotten over me either? How much of this is conscious, and how much is subconscious? And will we remain in each others’ field of energy until we can come to some kind of closure, or are we meant to come together again to work something out?
Roseanne
Dreamchaser:
First and foremost, I want you to understand that the situation you’re in with this man is very common. I can’t tell you the number of people I talk to on a daily basis who still feel someone elses’ energy, even if they haven’t spoken to that person in a very long time.
What you are calling energy, we might just as well call emotion. You two have ties that stem from past lives. You are members of what I call the same “soul family.” You were with each other in some form in every life you have lived as humans. Some lifetimes were pleasant and fulfilling, and some were not. You both have emotions left over from either one or more past lives.
The strong emotions from those past lives are making the ties that bind you in this life really strong. Things are unresolved not only in this life but from past lives as well. That is why your souls are still so enmeshed.
I have no doubt that he still feels you as well. You can still feel each others’ touch, smell each other and hear each others’ voice in the form of your own thoughts. You are very real to each other.
However, remember that men are physically based; they get turned on by what they see, touch, taste, feel, etc. They can turn off their emotions but never their bodies. Women are emotionally based. We get turned on by what we feel in our hearts. We can turn off our bodies but never our hearts and emotions.
So he can walk away from these feelings and carry on with his everyday life. That doesn’t mean he doesn’t have these feelings, it’s just that it’s easier for him to ignore them than it is for you. You find yourself “continually thinking about him” because you’re much more aware of your feelings, especially those that have yet to be resolved.
If you really want to be free of him, I can give you an exercise to try. I want you to lay down on your bed, the floor, the sofa, or any place that is comfortable and feels safe to you. Then I want you to picture him in your head. Get a really clear picture; see the details of his face, his hair, and so on.
At that point, picture the silver cord that binds you two together coming out of his navel and reaching across the miles to your navel. Mentally picture yourself with a big pair of shears and then cut that cord. Call to Michael, the Archangel, to guard the cut ends and to help that cord stay cut.
Then when you do think of this man, actively exhale and push him out of your mind. In a matter of days, you should start to feel the connection start to dissipate. Do not do this unless you are really ready to let him go, however.
I wish you wholeness.
*****
Astrea:
You’re right; constantly thinking about an ex will keep him in your energy and in your heart. Three years is a long time to do that. It takes a lot of your energy away from you to keep on loving him.
You’re being told that he is still in your energy because you are consciously working very hard to keep him there. Virgos have a very difficult time releasing old loves.
It isn’t your subconscious and it certainly isn’t him. If he spent one tenth of the time thinking about you that you do thinking about him, you would probably be back together now. He has moved on with his life, however, and is in a whole new place. The Jim you knew from three years ago is not the Jim he is today.
Trying to forget him is not forgetting him. Forgetting him isn’t the point, anyway; forgiving him for hurting you and forgiving yourself for allowing that is the point.
We have all chosen the wrong people at some point in our lives; that’s how we learn what we don’t want in relationships. Virgos are so hard on themselves when it comes to forgiving themselves for a mistake in judgment. While three years is not unusual in Virgo time, since you’re talking about it and asking about it, I’m betting you’re ready to move on.
Here is a ritual that may help you leave Jim behind and get on with your love life:
Buy three scented candles: one blue bayberry, one red cinnamon and one white vanilla. Cast your circle, call in your corners, and invite the appropriate deities in to witness and help with your release. You may also invite your guides if you’re close to them. When you’re releasing an ex, it’s good to have a lot of help!
Light the blue candle and say, “I release the need to feel sadness about Jim. What is done is done. I forgive him for any sadness he caused me and any pain I caused myself and him.”
Light the red candle and say, “I release the need to feel that I will never have physical passion with anyone else like I had with Jim. I forgive him for stirring that in me and then leaving me, and I forgive myself for thinking that it was my fault that he left.”
Light the white candle and say, “I welcome new, authentic, pure and joyous love into my life, and by forgiving Jim and myself, I welcome it into his life too. I am free of all pain and cleansed by white light and joy. I wish us both a happy life.”
Take a deep breath and let it out slowly as you feel all the pain and resentment leave your physical body and your spirit. Do this three times in all. Blow out your candles in the order you lit them, release your corners and open your circle. Be born anew into a life that that is ready for big authentic love!