When people are attracted to certain types romantically, is that past-life related? For example, my daughter is a Caucasian, middle-class teenager, but from the time she first expressed an interest in boys, she has only been attracted to African-Americans. She has no interest whatsoever in boys of her own class and race. (The boys she likes are all “ghetto” types.) I just can’t figure out her reverse discrimination — she’s actually “racist” against her own race! It also makes me wonder about preferences for certain food, or aversions to certain food, that people seem to be born with. Is it possible all of these preferences/personality quirks have their roots in past lives?

 – Mags


Mags, your daughter’s case has a multi-level answer. Yes, she does have past lives in which she was a black person. She lived in all different places and all difference races just as most of us have done. She did have quite a few lives as a black person when she was blissfully happy and led a basically peaceful existence. Our souls are naturally drawn to places or people who remind us of the happier and more peaceful lives.

A part of her soul is reaching out to black people to give her some of that peace she remembers. I know that when I go to visit the homes of my black friends, there is usually music, family and laughter, and the homes seem so filled up with love. I used to love to go to my friend Penny’s house when I was a teenager. My house was somber and quiet and no one could sit in the living room and we could not turn our music up loud. Penny’s house was loud and fun and boisterous, and it felt so much like a home to me.

I feel very strongly that your daughter is experiencing much of the same thing. She is wishing for a family life and a home life that is the opposite of what she has in your home. Your daughter loves that feeling of family and belonging; she likes being accepted and included. The people in her own community and social circle have always ostracized her.

Let’s face it, Mags: She is not the typical child in your set of society and friends. Think back to when she was growing up and the stories she would tell you. Black people accept her. Of course she is going to be drawn to the race that accepts her. She is also physically drawn to black men. She finds them the most attractive type of man. I personally have a thing for dark-eyed, dark-haired men. I have only dated one blonde in my life. We all have our types; she finds black men sexy.

It used to be so taboo in America to date inter-racially, but since we are becoming more enlightened, we are also dating in more enlightened ways. I know it bothers you, but you should be proud of her for seeing beauty where she wants to see it, not where she should according to society’s standards. Love is love, and love knows no color. Also, if you want to see things from her viewpoint, just watch a DeAngelo video, preferably the one where he is not clothed.

She is being true to herself and, as much as you do not like it, it is her life at this point. Please try to embrace her and her decisions. Remember, what our parents push us away from is what we will tend to want that much more.

I wish you acceptance and understanding.



When I start a past life reading for someone, I ask these questions: What’s your favorite color? What do you like to eat? Do you have a type of architecture you prefer? What type of furniture would you buy if you could refurnish your whole house? These questions help me discover how a person got here in this incarnation, and what stops he or she made along the way, because our preferences in this lifetime are indeed influenced by past life experiences.

Those little clues from the now help me get started in exploring a person’s past experiences.

Beyond these little preferences, we also carry from one incarnation to another the lessons we have to learn. Perhaps we were ugly to a spouse in a past life, and that makes us hesitant to enter a serious relationship for fear someone will hurt us like we have hurt someone. Perhaps we were poor and hungry in the lifetime before this, and so we are more motivated to achieve financial success now. If we didn’t have the chance to be educated in our past lives, we might seek learning and be motivated to get into a spiritual lifestyle. The big lessons always become apparent sooner or later.

We bring into each incarnation our own Ka-Tet, or karmic family, and we have to learn to deal with those people all over again, hopefully in kinder and gentler ways. You and your daughter have probably spent a few lives together, and not always as mother and daughter. The relationship you have with her this time will teach you both things you were unable to internalize before. Perhaps the worry she causes you now is part of your karma.

Your teenager will probably change her mind about the kind of boys she wants to date a hundred times as she grows into womanhood. Right now she wants to date African-American boys because they seem more interesting to her. I don’t feel it’s particularly a part of her karma, but the older the soul, the more likely she was to have been in Africa, as that’s where civilization began. Her karmic experience is drawing her to what feels safe and familiar.

Because the question of race isn’t important when concerned with the spiritual aspects of our past lives, that rarely comes up. We have been every kind of person, every race and religion in our past lives. We have been both male and female. I’ve found that, while certain preferences for food, lifestyles and comforts are carried over from one incarnation to the next, a person’s race doesn’t matter at all. Everyone is the same regardless of the color of their skin.