I was just told by a medium that my daughter, Sara, remains earthbound and confused as to how she died. She committed suicide and was also bi-polar. Sara is still hanging around her apartment where she lived, staring at her cell phone with no numbers on it. How can I help her to cross over? I live in New Mexico and she lived in Delaware. I am so distraught that she is stuck somehow; what do I do?
It is not uncommon for souls to become trapped between the earth plane and the spirit world, especially if their death was sudden or self-imposed. Because they are confused or reluctant to move on, they may linger in their homes, unable to make sense of what happened.
Your prayers are the key to moving Sara into the light. The medium's vision that your daughter sits staring at a cell phone with no numbers on it suggests a call for help. It may be that you are the one person who can help her.
The first thing you must do is call in her spirit so that you can direct her. It does not matter that she was in Delaware while you are in New Mexico, as the spirit world is not limited by distance or time.
To begin, set up a special altar with pictures and favorite personal items of your daughter's on it. Place two white candles on either side of the altar. Light a sage incense stick (or her favorite scent of incense, if she had one), using the flame to light the two candles. You can also play a favorite song of hers softly in the background.
Once you have established this space, plan on spending thirty minutes to an hour in meditation. During this time, you must focus on your daughter and call her spirit to you. Even if you are not sure you can feel her presence, begin talking with her about what has happened. Recount her life to her, describing what it was like when she was born and her entire life story up to the point of her suicide.
Conclude your story with a phrase similar to this:
Dearest Sara, you have been a rare and beautiful gift in my life. Though we have had our ups and downs, you have given me more joy than you will ever know. I am sorry that your life was cut short, but now you must continue on to the next phase of your destiny. Do not be afraid to move into the light. There are people on the other side who love you and are waiting for you. Once you have crossed over, we will be able to continue our relationship, though it will take a different form. I bless you and love you, and pray for your safe journey across the dimensions of time, space and energy.
Once you have finished, sit silently for a bit, waiting for a response. Do not be concerned if you do not hear anything right away. Continue to perform this ritual daily until you sense her around you. This awareness may come in the form of a thought or a sign. One of the most common signs that a spirit has finally crossed over will be a bird or butterfly that crosses your path unexpectedly as a reflection of the freedom that person's soul has experienced.
It is common to obsess about a situation in which we have an illusion of power in order to avoid a more upsetting situation where we have no control. I suspect you are focusing on how to free your daughter's earthbound spirit as a way to avoid the grief of losing a child to mental illness. Please consider joining a support group, either online or in person, so you can process your pain and sense of helplessness.
There are several Yahoo groups dedicated to parents of suicides. Also, the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) has a branch in Albuquerque; this organization offers direct support to family members of the mentally ill, and may also be able to provide referrals to therapists or support groups in your area.
I don't feel entirely comfortable with a medium who provides
bad news without placing it in a broader spiritual perspective in order to leave you more comforted than worried. Her approach makes me question the validity of her reading. Please be wary if this medium offers to help Sara cross over for an exorbitant fee. Every profession has its share of unethical members who exploit the vulnerable - even grief-stricken parents.
Sara's soul is on its own path. Confronting obstacles and struggling with frustrations are essential to spiritual growth. Sara has a higher power, and it's not you. As in life, you do not have the power to help Sara directly, nor can you pay someone to carry her to the other side.
The desire to learn and expand must spring from within Sara. Her soul is now free of the confines of a chemically imbalanced brain, and she will move on in her own way and time. As her mother, your loving thoughts will provide comfort to you both. Paying for additional services in this matter is unnecessary unless those services are aimed at helping YOU adjust to your loss.
Those with family members suffering from mental illness, alcoholism or addiction often develop the parallel illness of codependency, and they thus try to fix, help or save a suffering family member at their own expense. You can learn more from the Codependents Anonymous website (www.coda.org), where you'll also find tools for recovery and a meeting list for your state.
You were likely codependent with Sara in life and may be continuing this pattern in her death by sacrificing your own life or resources to worry about something over which you have no control. You can help Sara indirectly if you add to the light, joy and beauty in this world by striving to be authentic, present and aware in every precious moment of your life.
Many times in life we hear, "You will always have what you NEED, but not necessarily what you WANT." Your spirit must have needed to experience the feeling of leaving your human body, and the suggestion in the next chapter of Sylvia Brown's book was all it took to get you there.
Even though you hadn't read it yet, your SOUL recognized the title of that chapter as something it had been seeking, and your soul, knowing that you had that reference to read after your experience, got with it and out you went!
While I don't usually recommend her books, Sylvia Brown has a wide reaching and powerful effect on lots of people. A Gemini like you would be able to relate easily to her writing and put it to good use. Synchronicity - you gotta love it!
I like your description of "getting caught." That's exactly what it feels like, isn't it? One minute you're free and hovering above the room, and the next minute, ZAP! back down into your corporeal form you go!
As a little kid, I loved that "feeling of return." With practice, most of the time we can control that event, but sometimes, when our physical ears hear a distracting noise or something else occurs to knock us back into reality, back we go. With practice you will be able to control your return better.
I find it interesting that you were visiting your mother-in-law and not someone in your own genetic family. Evidently, you and your husband got married for reasons that are even deeper than love. His family's interest in "psychic stuff" will nurture your children in such matters and help them to grow into their own abilities.
You'll never have to be concerned that when your daughter visits them, she'll be discouraged from exploring her own psychic life and power. My parents encouraged me to develop my psychic senses in a time when it wasn't nice to even discuss such things in public. Heck, it's STILL not considered a great topic at the dinner table in some families!
Your kids will get to talk about it ALL and ask questions and read and study. This is going to give them such an edge in life! Talk with your husband about how you want to present this to your kiddos, so that you are united in your approach and ready to tell them their experiences are all natural and okay.
A word or two of warning: Geminis often have difficulty staying grounded in REAL LIFE. Don't get so strung out on your ASTRAL life that you neglect what you're doing here on Earth.
You are at the beginning of a long journey to learn where your power really lies. Try to be patient with this process and take your time.