I am very spiritual, have had plenty of psychic readings, and have tried to practice the Law of Attraction several times, I can't seem to stop believing that I've been cursed. It's like I can't catch a break in life. I've always only been allowed just enough to survive. I've never dated anyone longer than six months and I only ever have enough to just get by. I have bad anxiety and sleep paralysis all too often. Do you think I am cursed? I need some hope that things will get better. It has been two years and I'm still in love with my ex. I need a way to remove all this negativity and receive some positive vibes from the Universe.
Usually it is our own thoughts that keep leading us back to the very place we do not want to be. As you know from your study of the Law of Attraction, the mind is very powerful. However, if we do not feel that we deserve wonderful things in life or if we are holding on too tightly to the past, our efforts will to manifest what we want will fail.
The harder we try to make things work, the more difficult they can become. This is because we tend to approach these troubles from the wrong angle. Instead of forcing outside circumstances to change through intellectual means, we must change what we are doing to move out of negative or restrictive cycles.
To begin, I recommend that you
freeze all aspects of your life that are holding you back. For details on my freezing ritual, visit the free downloads section under spiritual tools at Kajama. Start by freezing the ex that you are still in love with. Then perform a separate ritual to freeze the intellectual or emotional energy around you that believes you are cursed. If there are any other people or circumstances that seem to be working against you, you can freeze them as well.
Once you have put a stop to all the emotional situations that are keeping you stuck, you can begin to transform your life in a more empowered way. Basically, the freezing rituals will help you break free of the past so that you can create a more prosperous and successful future.
During this process, it is imperative that you rid yourself of negative thinking. Your email lists a series of troubles that you have been unable to resolve. I would like you to rewrite this list, taking out the negative statements and replacing them with positive affirmations.
For example, you say,
It's like I can't catch a break in life. I've always only been allowed just enough to survive. I've never dated anyone longer than six months and I only ever have enough to just get by. Change these statements to read something like,
The Universe supports my efforts and is already opening new doors to me. I am loved and Spirit is bringing me my ideal partner. I have all I need each day and more.
Each morning, repeat these affirmations to set a positive tone for the day. In the evening, make a list of all your blessings and give thanks to Spirit. If you begin and end your day in this manner, you can eliminate the negative thoughts that are causing you trouble and begin to manifest greater success.
Thinking you are cursed causes anxiety and sends you into the instinctual survival mode of
fight, flight or flee. Through deep breathing and self-talk, you can help your body return to a natural, relaxed state. A good self-help book is An End to Panic by Zuercher-White.
I do believe you are cursed, however - with the self-imposed belief that you've been cursed! This is a belief you can change with practice. Think and say out loud:
I AM BLESSED. You don't have to believe it; if you just keep it up, it will take hold in time. Write the words on post-it notes and stick them on your mirror, refrigerator and computer monitor. Stick a post-it under the chair you sit in so it can influence you subconsciously.
Email or text yourself the message. Send a tweet or post it on Facebook. Have a t-shirt, button or coffee mug made with that affirmation. Thinking, saying, writing and reading words are the mind's way of lifting weights and making a thought stronger and more automatic. When an old thought pops in, notice it and then choose a new thought. This is like changing the channel on a television to something more pleasant.
I can't catch a break in life to
I have more blessings than I know what to do with! Change
I've always only been allowed just enough to survive to
I find creative ways to be of service to others, and I get paid for doing it!
Take any job and give thanks for the opportunity to be of service, or think of something you love to do and how it might benefit others. When I moved to a new area and had no established clients, I thought about how I could make money in the mean time. I love animals, so I put flyers on all the doorsteps within walking distance about my petsitting and dogwalking service and soon had money coming in.
There are low-cost counseling centers available, and many therapists offer sliding fee scales. It would be useful to get feedback on how you come across to and relate to others. In regards to dating, I like this quote by Rumi:
Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.
You may find yourself fearful of giving up the notion that you are cursed. Sometimes it's easier to believe we are at the mercy of an outside oppressor than it is to take responsibility for our lives. Remember: you have the power to disperse the negative vibes you believe are plaguing you by taking daily baby steps towards greater physical, mental and spiritual health.
Many times in life we hear, "You will always have what you NEED, but not necessarily what you WANT." Your spirit must have needed to experience the feeling of leaving your human body, and the suggestion in the next chapter of Sylvia Brown's book was all it took to get you there.
Even though you hadn't read it yet, your SOUL recognized the title of that chapter as something it had been seeking, and your soul, knowing that you had that reference to read after your experience, got with it and out you went!
While I don't usually recommend her books, Sylvia Brown has a wide reaching and powerful effect on lots of people. A Gemini like you would be able to relate easily to her writing and put it to good use. Synchronicity - you gotta love it!
I like your description of "getting caught." That's exactly what it feels like, isn't it? One minute you're free and hovering above the room, and the next minute, ZAP! back down into your corporeal form you go!
As a little kid, I loved that "feeling of return." With practice, most of the time we can control that event, but sometimes, when our physical ears hear a distracting noise or something else occurs to knock us back into reality, back we go. With practice you will be able to control your return better.
I find it interesting that you were visiting your mother-in-law and not someone in your own genetic family. Evidently, you and your husband got married for reasons that are even deeper than love. His family's interest in "psychic stuff" will nurture your children in such matters and help them to grow into their own abilities.
You'll never have to be concerned that when your daughter visits them, she'll be discouraged from exploring her own psychic life and power. My parents encouraged me to develop my psychic senses in a time when it wasn't nice to even discuss such things in public. Heck, it's STILL not considered a great topic at the dinner table in some families!
Your kids will get to talk about it ALL and ask questions and read and study. This is going to give them such an edge in life! Talk with your husband about how you want to present this to your kiddos, so that you are united in your approach and ready to tell them their experiences are all natural and okay.
A word or two of warning: Geminis often have difficulty staying grounded in REAL LIFE. Don't get so strung out on your ASTRAL life that you neglect what you're doing here on Earth.
You are at the beginning of a long journey to learn where your power really lies. Try to be patient with this process and take your time.