The name of an ex-boyfriend keeps coming up recently. I cared very deeply for him, but accepted that we weren't meant to be. We went our separate ways with no hard feelings on my side. I've been over him for a while now. The name is Charles. I know it's a fairly common name, but recently I've been encountering it in a pattern. After the name kept appearing, I thought it meant that I needed to contact him. I have no desire to speak to him and I don't think there is a chance of us getting back together. Also, we have both moved on and he seemed happy when I last saw him, so I brushed this idea of contacting him off. I even went as far as saying out loud to the universe that if I was meant to contact him, I needed a BIG SIGN that I would understand when I saw it. Then one day while passing a new store, my brother asked me the name of the store. It was 2nd and CHARLES
on a huge sign and with his name in big, bold letters. Am I really meant to contact him or is this just my subconscious making meaning out of events due to wishful thinking? I really am hesitant to call him. I avoided it last night and woke up to see a man named Charles on TV. It was 4:00 a.m. in the morning! I think nothing good could come of me contacting him - only my own heartbreak. It hurt but I finally got over him and I can't see how me getting hurt again would serve me or the universe well. After all, if we were meant to make contact, couldn't he have called me?
Tanya
Susyn:
I understand why you're feeling frustrated and confused about all of this, for there are a number of possible reasons why the name Charles keeps coming to you. I understand that you would just like to move on with your life, and that you feel prevented from doing so because these recurring signs seem to suggest that there is some reason to look backward.
I agree that there is no purpose in contacting him, for if the two of you were meant to be in touch, Spirit would inspire him to call you. While it was a good idea to ask for a sign, often the best course of action is to do nothing and let him come to you. That being said, there is a higher purpose and reason that his name and memories of him keep coming up.
Intellectually, when we break up with someone, we can tell ourselves that we are over the relationship and ready to move on. Emotionally, it takes a bit longer to move through the process of completely letting go. Spirit is triggering you to return to this part of your life for a very important reason: If there is more emotional clearing to be done, then you will have to work through that energy and release it before you can move forward.
To stop the frequent reminders that keep coming to you, I recommend my freezing ritual, which is available under the Spiritual Tools tab in Kajama.com. Performing this ritual will stabilize the emotional responses you feel when you see or hear the name Charles and make it easier to free yourself from the past. Once you have put Charles on ice, these frequent reminders of him will cease and you can begin the process of healing and clearing out any old emotions that still linger so you can really move on with your life.
Next, you will want to devote some time to writing about the relationship. As you recall the beginning, middle and end of the relationship, you will become aware of some things you hadn't realized before. For example, in the midst of the relationship, you may have felt that things were going well when in truth, there were problems from the start that went unnoticed. You may discover that you never felt truly loved or secure in this relationship.
These writings will also reveal important reasons why the connection came to an end, which will enable you to accept the outcome on a heart level. They may also reveal actions you took that worked against the connection. This is helpful, for it will enable you to enter your next partnership with eyes wide open and prevent you from repeating history. Once you've done all of the above, these frequent reminders of Charles should subside. You can then regroup and prepare for a more fulfilling relationship to come your way.
*****
Oceania:
Not only did your big sign boldly display the name Charles, it also said 2nd.
You could have disregarded that piece of the sign as irrelevant, but you noticed it and mentioned it here, which suggests that it holds meaning for you. Perhaps you felt second best or in second place with Charles.
I think your debate about whether to contact him or not should be 2nd
on your to-do list, while contacting your inner guidance to uncover the source of your distress should be FIRST. Waking up at 4 a.m. indicates you're out of sorts, so please make a big sign right now that says Taya 1st
and post it on your computer!
You haven't clarified WHY you'd be contacting him, which suggests you tend to be passive. Perhaps one of your relationship deficits is not knowing or owning your thoughts, feelings, needs and desires, much less stating them clearly. Contacting Charles is YOUR decision, not the universe's, and you need clarification before you contact him or put this to rest. It would sound cuckoo to call or write and say, I'm not sure why I'm reaching out, but your name's been coming up...
That's wimpy. Please push through your process until you are clear about whether you want to contact him or not and whether you have something to say or you don't.
The name Charles is always around; you're just noticing it because something is up. You may still have some grieving to do, or you may be distracting yourself from an issue in your present life. When the going gets rough in a current relationship, minds and hearts often look wistfully backwards and yearn to resurrect an old relationship or escape into the fantasy of a new relationship by perusing dating sites and idealizing strangers.
It's better to forge ahead and tackle what's right in front of us, because seeming obstacles are stepping stones! If we commit to moving ahead, we'll find ourselves on a higher plane. A thriving relationship is not created by changing partners but rather by addressing the issues the relationship is bringing up and what we need to be learning from them.
2nd & Charles
is a second-hand bookstore. Your feelings about Charles may be second-hand as well, having originated with your father and later having been recycled in your relationships with men. Whatever got in the way of you and Charles likely got its start early in your life. You'd be surprised how emotional pain in the present can evaporate once you've healed unconscious childhood wounds. I'm wondering if your father made you feel you second-best. In any case, you'll feel empowered, valuable and confident when you choose to make yourself your first priority.
Astrea:
Many times in life we hear, "You will always have what you NEED, but not necessarily what you WANT." Your spirit must have needed to experience the feeling of leaving your human body, and the suggestion in the next chapter of Sylvia Brown's book was all it took to get you there.
Even though you hadn't read it yet, your SOUL recognized the title of that chapter as something it had been seeking, and your soul, knowing that you had that reference to read after your experience, got with it and out you went!
While I don't usually recommend her books, Sylvia Brown has a wide reaching and powerful effect on lots of people. A Gemini like you would be able to relate easily to her writing and put it to good use. Synchronicity - you gotta love it!
I like your description of "getting caught." That's exactly what it feels like, isn't it? One minute you're free and hovering above the room, and the next minute, ZAP! back down into your corporeal form you go!
As a little kid, I loved that "feeling of return." With practice, most of the time we can control that event, but sometimes, when our physical ears hear a distracting noise or something else occurs to knock us back into reality, back we go. With practice you will be able to control your return better.
I find it interesting that you were visiting your mother-in-law and not someone in your own genetic family. Evidently, you and your husband got married for reasons that are even deeper than love. His family's interest in "psychic stuff" will nurture your children in such matters and help them to grow into their own abilities.
You'll never have to be concerned that when your daughter visits them, she'll be discouraged from exploring her own psychic life and power. My parents encouraged me to develop my psychic senses in a time when it wasn't nice to even discuss such things in public. Heck, it's STILL not considered a great topic at the dinner table in some families!
Your kids will get to talk about it ALL and ask questions and read and study. This is going to give them such an edge in life! Talk with your husband about how you want to present this to your kiddos, so that you are united in your approach and ready to tell them their experiences are all natural and okay.
A word or two of warning: Geminis often have difficulty staying grounded in REAL LIFE. Don't get so strung out on your ASTRAL life that you neglect what you're doing here on Earth.
You are at the beginning of a long journey to learn where your power really lies. Try to be patient with this process and take your time.