Double Vision: He’s Led to Diary, but Can’t Find Its Author

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My name is Stefan, and I was born June 27, 1970, in Bulgaria. In early January, 2004, I was in Bari, Italy. While I was passing by a beautiful fountain in the center of town, something in me told me that in the water of that fountain I would find something I was supposed to find. I stopped near the fountain and began to look in the water, and in it, I found the diary of a young Italian woman! I thought, "I have a sign from the universe, and I have to find this woman." I checked all the phone numbers, all the email addresses, and all the postal addresses I found in the diary, but none of my efforts have helped me find this woman. I stayed in Bari for 10 months, and I experienced many strange situations connected with this diary, but I haven't found its author. In November of 2004, I finally left Italy. Do you think I am supposed to find the author of this diary? If so, should I go back to Bari and start over? If not, then why did I have this experience?

Dreamchaser:

You found this diary for a number of reasons that you yourself actually created. The first reason is so you would have a fantastic story to tell. You went to Italy looking for adventure and romance, and in fact, you found both in this diary. You have become very fond of this woman and you would LOVE to meet her. This all makes for a really great story.

Why this DID happen is so that maybe you would finally start to listen to your gut instincts. You "knew" something was going to happen there. You "knew" to go up to the fountain. THAT is the part that the Universe wants you to see. The fact that you just knew that something was there and you went up to the fountain, looked in, and pulled out this diary is very validating in and of itself.

You have always been incredibly "psychic." Actually, you have just about all the "clair" abilities. (Youíre clairvoyant, clairaudient, etc.) You just never really believe in yourself.

When you were really young, you were willing to follow your gut, but as you grew, people instructed in you other ways of being. You kind of buried the "Old Ways" down inside of you, and they have been trying to come out. A part of you was really drawn to Italy to be around strangers, as you felt that maybe there, you would be able to be more true to yourself.

I keep seeing the same pattern over and over in the world. If we have not already opened up to our true selves by the time we are around 33 years of age, then that is when it happens. Now some people are a few years younger, and some are a few years older, but usually, a massive soul-awakening happens in people around that age.

If you notice, you were just around the age of 33 when you went to Italy. I often think of Jesus Christ being put to death at the age of 33, and I wonder if the age at which this happened is meaningful.

Do you not find it a little odd that no one you contacted from her diary had any idea what woman you were talking about? These people were important enough to put into her diary, but not important enough in her life to know who you were asking about. That seems pretty odd to me.

I am SURE that Spirit is blocking you somehow. If you have not been able to find this woman by contacting all the people you found in the diary, I think that for now anyway, you are NOT supposed to meet her.

I do think that at some point, she is going to show up and get such a huge kick out of getting her diary back. There is actually quite an interesting story behind how it came to be in that fountain, but I will save that for her to tell you one day.

I wish you complete and total integration of your mind and your soul.

*****

Astrea:

My husband never passes by a piece of paper with any writing on it without picking it up. As he takes a long walk and run every morning, he's accumulated quite a few scraps.

One in particular stands out in my mind. It was a letter from a young man to his father, who at the time was in prison. It asked the father to meet the son, and invited Dad to live with him when he got out of jail. It didn't have any identifying addresses or last names, so we were never able to send it on to "Dad."

In the letter, the son forgives his father for leaving his mother, and welcomes him into his life. It was several pages filled with love and longing. We still have that letter, and we searched for its author and recipient for months to try to reunite them.

I often wonder if those two ever got back together. It is so sad to me that the father was never able to read the pages of love that his son wrote to him in that letter. I could feel from reading that letter that it took that boy long weeks of writing to get it just right. I hope that what we found was just a draft, and that the final copy did make it to its recipient, but I can't believe that in my heart.

You found that young girl's diary because you had a feeling you should look for something. She had thrown it away. She must have been desperately unhappy to discard her own personal history in that way. While I understand why you want to find her, perhaps finding the diary was for YOU, not for her.

Was it "meant to be?" You had a feeling, you followed it, and it happened.

I'm a firm believer that when you "have a feeling" that you should DO something; following that instinct is VERY important! I am NOT, however, a big believer in "meant to be." I think that we have choices, and one of those is to follow our intuition.

You did, and you found something VERY interesting! I'm so sorry your search didn't turn up the young woman you sought. Sometimes the consequences of our choices aren't what we want or expect. You've discovered this with that diary. My feeling is that you can't find her because she never wants to relive the memories recorded in that diary.

You, however, have gained more from reading it than she ever did from writing it. It's made you think more about how other people feel and perceive things, and I'm sure you've grown a lot from having it in your possession. If you were MEANT to find it, it has done for you what it was meant to do.

Seeing things through a young girl's eyes must be quite different for you! It's a whole experience you might never have had without finding that diary. Please use the knowledge youíve been given with kindness.

Astrea:

Many times in life we hear, "You will always have what you NEED, but not necessarily what you WANT." Your spirit must have needed to experience the feeling of leaving your human body, and the suggestion in the next chapter of Sylvia Brown's book was all it took to get you there.

Even though you hadn't read it yet, your SOUL recognized the title of that chapter as something it had been seeking, and your soul, knowing that you had that reference to read after your experience, got with it and out you went!

While I don't usually recommend her books, Sylvia Brown has a wide reaching and powerful effect on lots of people. A Gemini like you would be able to relate easily to her writing and put it to good use. Synchronicity - you gotta love it!

I like your description of "getting caught." That's exactly what it feels like, isn't it? One minute you're free and hovering above the room, and the next minute, ZAP! back down into your corporeal form you go!

As a little kid, I loved that "feeling of return." With practice, most of the time we can control that event, but sometimes, when our physical ears hear a distracting noise or something else occurs to knock us back into reality, back we go. With practice you will be able to control your return better.

I find it interesting that you were visiting your mother-in-law and not someone in your own genetic family. Evidently, you and your husband got married for reasons that are even deeper than love. His family's interest in "psychic stuff" will nurture your children in such matters and help them to grow into their own abilities.

You'll never have to be concerned that when your daughter visits them, she'll be discouraged from exploring her own psychic life and power. My parents encouraged me to develop my psychic senses in a time when it wasn't nice to even discuss such things in public. Heck, it's STILL not considered a great topic at the dinner table in some families!

Your kids will get to talk about it ALL and ask questions and read and study. This is going to give them such an edge in life! Talk with your husband about how you want to present this to your kiddos, so that you are united in your approach and ready to tell them their experiences are all natural and okay.

A word or two of warning: Geminis often have difficulty staying grounded in REAL LIFE. Don't get so strung out on your ASTRAL life that you neglect what you're doing here on Earth.

You are at the beginning of a long journey to learn where your power really lies. Try to be patient with this process and take your time.