I have been feeling someone lifting/standing up from my bed. I am not sure who it is, but I feel it is either my dad or my father-in-law, both of whom are in spirit. I think they are trying to tell me something. I have tried to connect with my dad, but have made no progress. I have seen him in my dreams: I am at the top of the stairs and he is at the bottom, but I can’t seem to make out what he is trying to say. I just don’t know how to connect with him and wanted to know the best way to go about this. Could you please help me out? Thank you!



The people we most want to talk to when they pass over are our parents, Debbie. Unfortunately, they are often the people we have the hardest time hearing. I see this sort of situation over and over – even with myself! When my daddy died, I so wanted to talk to him, but I could not hear him. It is not just you, Debbie!

You will not like this answer, but when the time is right and everyone is strong enough, you will be able to communicate with him. I can only speak from my own personal experience: My daddy popped up one day when I was driving down the road alone in my car. It was approximately two years after he had passed. I smelled cigar smoke and I heard (in my mind, not in the car), “Hi.” I actually looked over expecting to see him there. I did not, of course. Again he said, “Hi.” I said, “Hey, daddy!”

You see, my daddy used to have me drive him places and he would sit in the passenger seat, smoking a cigar and then sleeping. When he would wake up, he would look around, get his bearings, look over at me and say, “Hi.” I can now hear his voice in my mind and talk back to him, but I have not seen his form or heard his voice outside of my head. In most cases, that is how the communicating is done between all spirits and humans on earth. Hollywood misled us into believing that we actually see them walking into the room and speaking to us outside of our bodies. That is not usually reality.

You can also pray and ask for divine help in your connection with loved ones in spirit. When one passes over, they must learn how to become spirit again. Sometimes that is a fast process, and sometimes it takes a while. If you pray and ask for help, sometimes a higher being will come and intercede on your behalf and help get that spirit back across the veil to this side to communicate with you. I have heard tell that crossing the veil between the two worlds is hard for some who have recently passed over.

I want you to consider the relationship you have with someone on the other side as the world was before the Internet, e-mail and unlimited long distance. When most of us were growing up, we would have to write a letter to someone, mail it and then wait for his or her response. Oh, and kids, this one will kill you: We would have to get up and cross the room to change the channel, and we only had three to choose from. We are used to instant everything these days.

Our loved ones get our letters, and they will write back. It just takes time.

I wish you fruitful conversations.



It must be frustrating to see your dad and not understand exactly what he’s trying to say to you. I believe you’re right: He is trying to communicate with you. I think that you’re on stairs is probably the most significant aspect of this dream or vision that you’re having of him. That you are separated by some kind of distance isn’t unusual, since you’re just beginning to see him on a regular basis. The stairs in your dream are a representation of how you are separated from him in life, since he is beyond the veil in spirit. The stairs represent the barrier between the two worlds, ours and the world after.

I feel that your dad is trying to tell you climb higher in your life. Are you achieving all your goals and dreams? By being below you on that staircase, your dad is saying that you are already climbing higher than he did while he was alive, and he is there to encourage you to keep striving and moving forward to make your own dreams come true. He’s not trying to warn you of anything; he just wants to encourage you on your way to happiness. He wants you to know that he is still there, still with you, and that you’re going to achieve great things in your life – things that he was only able to dream about doing when he was alive and on the earth plane.

The bed shaking is different. That’s your father-in-law doing that! He has a big, expansive, fun personality, and he liked to shake things up when he was alive too. Try to pay attention when he does this to you, so that you can link it to some kind of waking event related to your own life or your children or your husband. My guess would be that he is particularly watching over one of your children or a child-to-be, and that he’s eager for that child to notice and see him too. Even though he wasn’t a blood relative to you in this life, he felt closer and more comfortable with you than his son or anyone else in his own family. As time goes by, he’ll wake you and send you messages for those people he cared about.

It is wonderful that you’re able to see and be with loved ones who have crossed over. I’m glad that you’re not afraid to explore what’s going on with them. Our loved ones want the best for us always, and yours seem to be doing extra duty to take care of you and your family. They must love you all very much. That kind of devotion is very rare and beautiful. Appreciate them and thank them for staying close by to help take care of you and your family. They’re hanging around because they want to – it’s a pleasure for them – but it’s still good manners to say thank-you!